Charles Manson
09-05-2011, 04:53 AM
its official I have been living as a complete junkie for a month now and feel happy / content.
I walked the streets of stockton traveling all around ,smoked crack in resturant bathrooms, slept outside gas stations(during business hours) ,went to my dealers house and even used the bathroom like a junkie, i took an entire bath in the sink of a chevron bathroom(as i love to do most).
I love being strung the fuck out. what junkie doesn't? In three weeks time I start taking pills i found on the floor, I could overdose ,end up blacked out commiting hate crimes, or even contract aids while sharing needles.
bottom line If nothing goes wrong I will become slower, and have a stronger craving for the drugs, but I dont care about any of that.
I rather take these risks with the chance of being happy then to live a normal life, not being able to shoot up, when, and where i want.
iv had to quit eating,and apply a metallic coating of tin foil around my head, and I dont get to smoke as much "Even when i collect hella cans".
I stop and ask myself why why would anyone risk their life and not care. My only answer is that I am doing this so I can be myself ,feel right with all my crack heroin and meth. i can finally find happiness.
I accepted my feeling and started to get medical treatment for poly-substance-addiction issues.
Iv gone as far as shooting up aspartame, and saving my spare money to get a mouth full of pills.
in the coming weeks to months my body should start to turn into that of a homeless man, I should become unaware of my bodily odors and hopefully i will find a spot on the bus where i can sit down to shit.
and I may find myself learning new ways to steal shit for drug money.
I cant wait. I hope and pray that I am not making a big mistake but I have no doubts in my mind that this is how I want to live my life.
even though I may get made fun of or find it harder to get employment I cant let that stop me. Being a fucking junkie and smoking rocks is more important than life itself, IMO.
I walked the streets of stockton traveling all around ,smoked crack in resturant bathrooms, slept outside gas stations(during business hours) ,went to my dealers house and even used the bathroom like a junkie, i took an entire bath in the sink of a chevron bathroom(as i love to do most).
I love being strung the fuck out. what junkie doesn't? In three weeks time I start taking pills i found on the floor, I could overdose ,end up blacked out commiting hate crimes, or even contract aids while sharing needles.
bottom line If nothing goes wrong I will become slower, and have a stronger craving for the drugs, but I dont care about any of that.
I rather take these risks with the chance of being happy then to live a normal life, not being able to shoot up, when, and where i want.
iv had to quit eating,and apply a metallic coating of tin foil around my head, and I dont get to smoke as much "Even when i collect hella cans".
I stop and ask myself why why would anyone risk their life and not care. My only answer is that I am doing this so I can be myself ,feel right with all my crack heroin and meth. i can finally find happiness.
I accepted my feeling and started to get medical treatment for poly-substance-addiction issues.
Iv gone as far as shooting up aspartame, and saving my spare money to get a mouth full of pills.
in the coming weeks to months my body should start to turn into that of a homeless man, I should become unaware of my bodily odors and hopefully i will find a spot on the bus where i can sit down to shit.
and I may find myself learning new ways to steal shit for drug money.
I cant wait. I hope and pray that I am not making a big mistake but I have no doubts in my mind that this is how I want to live my life.
even though I may get made fun of or find it harder to get employment I cant let that stop me. Being a fucking junkie and smoking rocks is more important than life itself, IMO.