When is it time to "Grow Up"? (long)

[Lysergic Rain]

I hope this is the right forum.

These past few months I have been very concerned with the idea of growing up.

I'm 20 and I'm a sophomore at college. Financial aid and student loans cover a bunch of the tuition, but my parents basically pay for me to live. I don't have any sort of job. I'm looking to get one, but obviously it would have to be part time because I have classes to go to, tests to study for, ect.

Should I even worry about it right now?
I don't really go out to movies or anything like that. I sell a little bit of pot on the side and that gets me like a $50 a week "allowance". I just feel weird that my parents pay for my food and my apartment (rent is only $300 a month though). Its not like they're struggling for cash. They both have good jobs.

Is it wrong to be living off them? Part of me says "I'm only 20, I'm still in school, its normal for students to live off their parents until they graduate."
The other part of me says "I'm already 20!? Both my parents moved out and got on with their lives when they were 18 and I'm 20 and still living off them. I need to get my shit together!"

Last summer I didn't even have a summer job. I must have applied to 25+ locations and never heard a thing. With the economy and all, the job market for part-time unskilled work is basically null. The same is true for many of my friends. I've applied for internships for this up coming summer but haven't heard a thing from them. I'll probably end up taking some summer classes at my college (that my parents will pay for) to catch up and get a bit ahead.

Something seems wrong about being just as dependent on my parents at age 20 as I was at age 15. Especially when I only see them a couple times a year. Before it was like they were raising a son. Now its more like they are sending off welfare checks to some guy they barely know.

[Steal_Everything]

I'm 18 and in college. My parents pay for 25% of my tuition, the other 75% is covered by a scholarship. My parents pay my rent, car insurance, and cell phone bill. I pay for everything else.

[Mirana]

You're in school, what are you worrying about your parents supporting you?

I know guys who are nearing 30's and having their parents pay for their community college and bills, you want to know what they did from 18-30? mooch, drugs and mooch.

[Resign the King]

I just recently turned 21. Currently I'm living at home, all my food and shelter is covered by my parents and sometimes I borrow some money too. I'm currently taking some college/ABE courses and it's easier for me to spend this next year at home not having to worry about paying my own food and shelter focusing on getting my requirements for university. I don't have a job at the moment but I'm looking. I was working before hand then I went traveling(during which I borrowed some money from my parents as well). Now I'm back and focusing on school.

My goal is to have a part time job by June at least. I can save up a bit of money and then when I go to university I can pay for some, my parents will help out with the rest. I think it's pretty normal for middle/upper class kids to have their parents at least partially support them through university. Just make sure you're thankful because it makes life a lot easier for you.

Basically when I eventually have a well paying job 8 years down the road then I will pay for my parents to go on a cruise, or buy them a car or something nice like that.

[AtrainV]

I think there is some interesting discussion that can come out of this thread, but I don't think this is quite the right forum for it.

I'm going to move it to the inhumane condition and (as usual) if the moderators feel like it belongs somewhere else, please feel free to move it there.

[NightVision]

I am in the same situation as most of the people that have already posted in this thread. It might seem like you are mooching, but if you are going for a marketable degree [science, professional school, some types of business, cs] and it is actually taking up most of your time it is fine @ least I think so.

[Space Monkey]

You're in school, what are you worrying about your parents supporting you?

I know guys who are nearing 30's and having their parents pay for their community college and bills, you want to know what they did from 18-30? mooch, drugs and mooch.

Exactly, I'd start worrying in my mid-twenties, if you get a degree and a couple of years later you're still dependent on your folks then there might be something wrong but otherwise you're worrying over nothing.

It's perfectlly acceptable to be supported by your parents all throughout university and after, remember that a lot of careers will also require you to do internships after you graduate, you'll be working full time and not earn any money.

It's better to be living off your folks and not having a job while in uni, than having a few jobs and ending up failing or getting bad grades.

Swallow your pride for a little while longer and eventually it will all pay off, you'll get the good career and will be independent.

[The Better Version]

Yeah I wouldn't feel guilty about it. I mean at least your aware of the fact that your on your parents nuts. A lot of kids are spoiled like you and I and don't even realize it and it pisses me off when they sit here and justify how they worked their ass off to get to where they were when in fact it was their parents doing.

Anyway, the fact that you're at least attempting to find a job is good enough to show that you at least care and honestly they can't blame you for not being able to find a job because we're in a pretty bad recession right now. My advice to you, though, is to continue searching for a job not because you need to show your parents that your considerate of their generosity but rather because if you don't save up some money by the time you get out of school you might not have a job and thats when you'll have to depend off of your parents at age 25. Strive for the best grades and save as much money as possible while your in school. I can't tell you how many friends I have who did the wrong things and are now in huge amounts of debt living in their parents basement without a job.

[boostinkyboo]

My parents don't pay for anything of mine, tuition, dorm, etc, but that's because they can't really afford it. I envy you, just be thankful for the situation you're in.

[LiquidIce]

Don't be sad about it, not unless you catch yourself thinking that you will never stop living off of your parents. I'm 19 and leaving home, I'm taking a year off everything to work and in that way earn my college/uni, there just ain't no other way, but I really wanna study.

Dude, don't worry yet, study, have some fun.

[ArmsMerchant]

OP, here is the best advice you will get this year--forgive yourself for being where you are.

Feeling guilty helps no one-- not you, your folks, the cops at your door, the NSA guy reading your email--no one. Thing is, times change. Many people--even ones in their thirties--are living with their parents or getting help from them.

My son is 27, lives at home, has no drivers license or job prospects or higher education--but he earns his keep by taking care of his mother, whio is an invalid--washes dishes, carries in water from the spring, splits firewood and carries it in, feeds her and helps her dress when she has really bad days, all that stuff. (We maintain separate households--long story.)

Consider this--maybe you are right where you need to be right now. Live your life, do what you can do. Maybe someday you will be in a position to, I dunno, pay for a big vacation trip for your folks, whatever.

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. Heck, there are probably a few people you know who are more than willing to do that for you.