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View Full Version : Methods to fuck up a car?


DarkNinja
10-23-2011, 07:44 AM
so theres this car parked down the road belongs to the neighbors. If one was to be hypothetically bored enough to actually decide to fuck it up anyone got any suggestions? the car is litterally parked at the bottom of my drive way one could easily fuck it up and gap it back to my house without being seen any ideas?

is all mememememe with me
10-23-2011, 07:49 AM
like this, easy

Rise Of The Footsoldier - Escort XR3i - YouTube

Charles Manson
10-23-2011, 07:51 AM
put glass etch on the windows or put syrup+paint thinner on the paint

DarkNinja
10-23-2011, 07:56 AM
Lol good idea .was thinking of launching eggs of my balcony to since I can see it from there :D

p6867
10-23-2011, 08:01 AM
When i was an irresponsible (and immoral) 14 year old me and some had a pretty serious vandalism spree. One game we would play was called stone wall jackson, where we would take stones from stone walls, get our car up to about 60 mph, then let the stone go out the side window, at the parked car. In hindsight it was quite fucked up.

paulbras
10-30-2011, 11:08 AM
When i was an irresponsible (and immoral) 14 year old me and some had a pretty serious vandalism spree. One game we would play was called stone wall jackson, where we would take stones from stone walls, get our car up to about 60 mph, then let the stone go out the side window, at the parked car. In hindsight it was quite fucked up.

possible murder charge if there happens be a couple making out in there, or just some frustrated husband sneaking a joint while waiting for his obnoxious whore of a wife's medication to kick in so the bitch could just SHUT HER FUCKING TRAP AND GO TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!! yea... that coulda been bad bro.

BoneThugJones
10-30-2011, 08:45 PM
Ok get a 5 gallon bucket. Find some roadkill or go buy some big nasty fish at your local meat department. Get a bunch of horseradish, cocktail sauce, mayo, ect. Put in bucket with fish. Run up to car break window with something dump bucket inside. Also if you want to get creative you could shit in the bucket as well.

TheBlackDalia
10-31-2011, 03:11 AM
Sugar in the tank, or is it salt that fucks up the engine? I can't remember. Anyway I heard it works pretty good and kills the engine.

dAt sHaY-d KiD
10-31-2011, 03:18 AM
superglue pennys all over it in the shape of curse words n dicks

it with mess the paint up when they rip em off

if u glue em to the window it might fuck up the glass 2

paulbras
10-31-2011, 01:36 PM
do they have lighters in your state/city?

Painzstake
10-31-2011, 01:49 PM
Sugar in the tank, or is it salt that fucks up the engine? I can't remember. Anyway I heard it works pretty good and kills the engine.

That would be sand in the fuel tank :rolleyes:. If you do this it quite literally fucks the car once enough cycles, you just gained a nice 2 ton paper weight.

or

Thermite... go figure.

Now if you don't want to fuck their car totally cinder blocks are cheep. Paint stripper is even cheaper still Or you could offer to paint their car with say white-out or your normal paint stored in balloons.

Painzstake
10-31-2011, 01:49 PM
Also JB Weld in key holes :O.

kingOfCrash
10-31-2011, 05:33 PM
Don't do it OP if your get away method is running to your nearby home. It's also very easy to get caught that way. Sorry I'm so late to say this. :o

Marsh
10-31-2011, 05:35 PM
If its a hot day out, cover the whole car in pancake batter.

Death Snuggle
10-31-2011, 05:41 PM
If its a hot day out, cover the whole car in pancake batter.

Nah, break a window and pour it all in then use saran wrap to cover the window up. You'll probably want to use the industrial wrapping stuff because there needs to be a good seal.

fuckbiscuit
10-31-2011, 06:17 PM
If its a hot day out, cover the whole car in pancake batter.

This made me lol so hard.

Also, thermite on the hood of the car.

IIIII
10-31-2011, 06:28 PM
just open the door - jam a large fireworks rocket in the seat and light it.

Leave the door open or the lack of oxygen will snuff out the resulting fire.

Do it Halloween night. Tonight.

Cooldarkknick
11-03-2011, 01:35 PM
That would be sand in the fuel tank :rolleyes:. If you do this it quite literally fucks the car once enough cycles, you just gained a nice 2 ton paper weight.

Bullshit.

It's called a fuel filter. All cars have them. Learn something before you blast BS.

The only liquid/solid that will make it through the filter is bleach. All it does it make the engine stall.

You'd be better off getting under the hood and disconnecting something like the water-pump from the serpentine belt, so it overheats. Or drain almost all the oil.

paulbras
11-03-2011, 04:32 PM
Bullshit.

It's called a fuel filter. All cars have them. Learn something before you blast BS.

The only liquid/solid that will make it through the filter is bleach. All it does it make the engine stall.

You'd be better off getting under the hood and disconnecting something like the water-pump from the serpentine belt, so it overheats. Or drain almost all the oil.


actually the bleach will melt away a whole bunch of different rubber seals and O-rings. It'll also cause rust inside the engine. Mostly the guy wont know wtf is going on with his car. Sometimes it works, most of the times it doesn't. Nothing like spending 2 grand to fix what you thought was a problem to have your car act up again the next day. Bleach really is the car killer.. best of all it does it slowly. It's like car cancer.

ratfrink
11-03-2011, 04:51 PM
The bleach goes in the oil, not the petrol tank. This'll cause massive overheating.

If you put it in the petrol tank, all it'll do is cause the tank to rust. The engine won't rust because it's constantly moving, and the rubber seals won't break down because they are made from synthetic chemical resistant rubber - bleach only breaks up natural rubber.

The Artful Dodger
11-03-2011, 05:06 PM
uhhhh steal it, build a sweet ramp, and bring a helmet.

is all mememememe with me
11-03-2011, 07:48 PM
That would be sand in the fuel tank :rolleyes:.

no its not its sugar you fool. roll your eyes and you dont even know what your talkin about, lol. sugar turns to caramel when it burns and gunges the whole shit up beyond repair pretty much. you try cleaning burnt caramel out of that cylinder block and out of all those valves and shit. it'd take fucking forever, to the point where it would be both cheaper and easier to replace the engine completely.

anyway, coke or pepsi fucks up car paint, so just make up some cola balloons and toss them from the balcony. do a few once a week or something and after a month his paint work will be proper shitty.

course if you really want revenge then call the local cops saying you overheard him talking about doing an insurance job on his car and then a few days later steal the car and drive into lake/river/off cliff. not only will he probably get arrested for doing it himself, but his insurance will jump at the chance to refuse to pay up.

ratfrink
11-03-2011, 07:53 PM
Spectral and Meme - neither sugar nor sand (!) are soluble in gasoline, so both would just be stopped by the fuel filter. It'll still be a pain for the owner because the car will stall after a few miles, but it won't cause any damage to the engine.

-SpectraL
11-03-2011, 08:00 PM
Spectral and Meme - neither sugar nor sand (!) are soluble in gasoline, so both would just be stopped by the fuel filter. It'll still be a pain for the owner because the car will stall after a few miles, but it won't cause any damage to the engine.No, man. With sand some still gets by the filter and fucks the engine over. Guaranteed.

ratfrink
11-03-2011, 08:06 PM
It would have to be incredibly fine sand to get through the filter at all.

N.B. I used to work as a mechanic.

edit - if you had a means to open the fuel filler, you'd presumably also be able to open the bonnet (in fact, in some cars you can do this just by crawling underneath and pulling the release cable or latch - no need to enter the vehicle itself) - sand in the oil filler will definitely mess up the engine.

ratfrink
11-03-2011, 08:31 PM
I understand that, I'm just saying that the filter will get blocked by the large grains and the car will stall before any damage is done to the engine. Getting a few grains of microscopic sand into the engine won't do shit, because it'll get flushed out before it has a chance to abrade anything.

Unless, of course, you manage to get hold of some incredibly fine sand which'll get more sand into the engine before it stalls.

-SpectraL
11-03-2011, 08:33 PM
I understand that, I'm just saying that the filter will get blocked by the large grains and the car will stall before any damage is done to the engine. Getting a few grains of microscopic sand into the engine won't do shit, because it'll get flushed out before it has a chance to abrade anything.

Unless, of course, you manage to get hold of some incredibly fine sand which'll get more sand into the engine before it stalls.Try it some day with a clunker. Drop a few handfuls of beach sand in there and run the engine for an hour. You'll see how "harmless" it is for yourself. lol

Terrestrial Mass
11-03-2011, 08:45 PM
bologna + heat= a polka-dotted car (once they pull them off theyll realized the meat has stripped of piant in perfect circles). clay in the exhaust pipes is always fun too

paulbras
11-03-2011, 10:27 PM
y'all are retarded. I'm calling mythbusters on your ass!!

http://dsc.discovery.com/cars/top-10/car-myths/07.html

sugar ................ WRONG
sand ................ WRONG


google bleach in gas tank and you shall see the light.

ratfrink
11-03-2011, 10:37 PM
Try it some day with a clunker. Drop a few handfuls of beach sand in there and run the engine for an hour. You'll see how "harmless" it is for yourself. lol

The engine won't run for a fucking hour, you idiot, it won't even run for five minutes. How many times do I have to repeat myself? If you put sand in someone's petrol tank, the engine will cut out.



Paulbras, Mythbusters (http://mythbustersresults.com/episode15) said this about bleach in the petrol tank - 'The engine soon died out but wasn’t ruined from the experience. The following morning, the inside of the gas tank was covered in rust.'. It won't kill the car, but it'll kill the petrol tank after a while... better to put bleach in the oil.

-SpectraL
11-03-2011, 10:43 PM
The engine won't run for a fucking hour, you idiot, it won't even run for five minutes. How many times do I have to repeat myself? If you put sand in someone's petrol tank, the engine will cut out...Yes, the engine cuts out, but not before the fine particles of sand have entered the engine. So even when it cuts out and you remove all the remaining sand from the filter and the tank, the fine particles are already up inside the engine. The more you use the engine after that, even on clean gas, the more the engine will be damaged. True story, bro.

paulbras
11-03-2011, 11:36 PM
spectral: that myth is busted bro

Motherfucking_Toast
11-03-2011, 11:45 PM
edit - if you had a means to open the fuel filler,....

If the victim has a '97 - 2003 Ford f-series truck, the fuel filter is on the frame rail about half way down the truck.. :XD:

pill popper
11-03-2011, 11:48 PM
Get some acetone and pour it all over the car

Paint job be gone

Actor
11-04-2011, 12:02 AM
Don't be a an asshole and go vandlizing it...just steal the spare change.

pill popper
11-04-2011, 12:10 AM
Don't be a an asshole and go vandlizing it...just steal the spare change.

Fuck that
Screwing the paint job up is where the fun really is
Especially if they have private insurance and it makes the rates go up

vovka351
11-04-2011, 02:46 AM
Sand in the oil, nigguh.

ratfrink
11-04-2011, 01:12 PM
Yes, the engine cuts out, but not before the fine particles of sand have entered the engine. So even when it cuts out and you remove all the remaining sand from the filter and the tank, the fine particles are already up inside the engine. The more you use the engine after that, even on clean gas, the more the engine will be damaged. True story, bro.

Fucking facepalm.

Like I said, you can flush those few little particles out of the engine fairly quickly. It's called changing the oil. That's why people change the oil in the first place. You think the victim will realise he potentially has sand in the engine, but won't think to change the oil? You obviously didn't - perhaps I should try this out on your car.

TheBlackDalia
11-06-2011, 07:39 AM
This has probably been mentioned but what would be the best way to torch a vehicle? I'm thinking cracking open the gas cap have a rag ready that's been doused in alcohol and light it after shoving it in the gas cap? I'm sure there are better ways to torch a vehicle if you can think of any please mention them. SWIM wants to do this to a certain individual that pissed him off.

vovka351
11-06-2011, 03:45 PM
double ziploc bag, potassium permanganate, stuff into gas tank, gtfo.

is all mememememe with me
11-06-2011, 04:28 PM
This has probably been mentioned but what would be the best way to torch a vehicle? I'm thinking cracking open the gas cap have a rag ready that's been doused in alcohol and light it after shoving it in the gas cap? I'm sure there are better ways to torch a vehicle if you can think of any please mention them. SWIM wants to do this to a certain individual that pissed him off.

doesn't work, i saw someone put a lighter to a gas tank and the flame jets out like a rocket engine and just blows itself out. there is no air in the tank for the flames to travel down inside the tank, so the flame suffocates before it gets there. plus any burning fuel in the neck of the fuel tank automatically rushes out stopping any chance of any air getting into the tank.

best way to torch a car is to break a couple of windows and set light to interior. use a bit of gas if you like but make sure air can easily get in. i dropped a bottle(500ml) of gas into a slightly open sunroof before. i chucked in a match expecting the blast to blow the windows out. i saw the petrol whoosh up inside the car with a big burst of yellow flames and go straight out again leaving the windows slightly more tinted than they were, but unbroken. and that was it, the blast suffocated itself almost instantly.

TheBlackDalia
11-06-2011, 04:59 PM
doesn't work, i saw someone put a lighter to a gas tank and the flame jets out like a rocket engine and just blows itself out. there is no air in the tank for the flames to travel down inside the tank, so the flame suffocates before it gets there. plus any burning fuel in the neck of the fuel tank automatically rushes out stopping any chance of any air getting into the tank.

best way to torch a car is to break a couple of windows and set light to interior. use a bit of gas if you like but make sure air can easily get in. i dropped a bottle(500ml) of gas into a slightly open sunroof before. i chucked in a match expecting the blast to blow the windows out. i saw the petrol whoosh up inside the car with a big burst of yellow flames and go straight out again leaving the windows slightly more tinted than they were, but unbroken. and that was it, the blast suffocated itself almost instantly.

Awesome definitely good to know. Thank you. :thumbsup:

is all mememememe with me
11-06-2011, 05:27 PM
Does putting sugar in the gas tank wreck a car's engine?

Dear Straight Dope:

Does putting sugar in someone's gas tank ruin their engine? Some also say sand in the gas tank will work, but it seems as though it would simply block the fuel filter.

— Alan Whinery, Honolulu, Hawaii

Having a spat with your sweetie, Al? Any sort of gritty substance put into a fuel tank is going to have an adverse effect on the car's performance. Salt and sugar are probably the most effective, since they do not dissolve in the gas. Sand is less effective because it is heavier and will sink to the bottom of the tank. Of course, it depends on how much sand you are funneling in, you delinquent.

Let's use sugar as an example. There are three basic ways that sugar in the gas tank is going to foul up someone's car. First, as you say, it will clog the fuel filter. Second, what gets through the fuel filter will clog the fuel pump. Finally, what makes it through the fuel filter and the fuel pump will completely foul whatever fuel delivery system your car uses. A carburetor that gets sugar in it is junk; you can strip it down and attempt to rebuild it but you likely will fail - it's a gummy, sticky mess. Your fuel injected vehicle will not fare much better when mucked up with the sticky stuff. This sort of vandalism will result in the car hesitating, losing power, and stalling. And repairs will not be cheap - replacing the fuel filter, dropping and draining the fuel tank, possibly a new carburetor or new fuel injectors. The latter two are very expensive, both in parts and labor.

An interesting side note - in the days before unleaded gasoline, fuel tank intake necks did not have flapper valves, and one way of screwing someone who was going on a long trip over was to roll a few golf balls down the neck into the tank. Once inside, the cover would slowly dissolve in the gas tank, leaving the spagetti-like fine string that wraps the core of a ball to unravel and clog the fuel filter. Now, if you REALLY want to put someone out of commission, sand in the oil fill tube is the ticket. Once the sand gets sucked up by the oil pump, it will score the pistons and the chambers and make the engine scrap. I do not advocate or recommend doing this, as it is extremely illegal and you probably don't want to go to jail. But then again, I don't know you. Here's hoping your interest in this is strictly academic.

— Dogster Straight Dope Science Advisory Board

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1587/does-putting-sugar-in-the-gas-tank-wreck-a-cars-engine

on another thought, putting elastic bands down the tank would probably fuck it up too. i remember reading how the viet cong would put elastic bands round grenades without a pin. the gas would slowly dissolve the rubber and the vehicle would explode at random. i would have thought enough rubber dissolved would surely fuck up the engine.

vovka351
11-07-2011, 01:24 AM
Sand in the oil, nigguh.

Now, if you REALLY want to put someone out of commission, sand in the oil fill tube is the ticket. Once the sand gets sucked up by the oil pump, it will score the pistons and the chambers and make the engine scrap. I do not advocate or recommend doing this, as it is extremely illegal and you probably don't want to go to jail. But then again, I don't know you. Here's hoping your interest in this is strictly academic..


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