Where do I start?

[Archetype]

I have never done any exercise in my entire life, have never eaten healthily and my mental stability has been questioned frequently.
I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle now, and hopefully gain some muscle and lose some fat. But I have no fucking idea where to start, do I go on a diet first or start weightlifting or what? Does anybody here have any pointers for me?
Also, I know this only applies to a select few, but please don't waste energy by trying to tell me to "smoke more weed" or "get laid" or any other juvenile comments, I will ignore them. Thanks.

[5024L]

Smoke more weed and get laid more.... lol

Now that's done, what are you trying to accomplish? Getting stronger, losing weight, we need more details.

I would say lifting and dieting with alot of cardio is a good place to start.

[Archetype]

Smoke more weed and get laid more.... lol

Now that's done, what are you trying to accomplish? Getting stronger, losing weight, we need more details.

I would say lifting and dieting with alot of cardio is a good place to start.

I'm looking to improve every aspect of my physiology. Weight isn't much of a concern at the moment, but I would say strength is.

[xilikeeggs0]

Do pushups. Do situps. Go running.

Any sort of physical activity is better than what you've done in the past and what you're doing now.

[kelsea killed hallenbeck]

I need more information. How much do you weight? How many push up/ pull up can you do? What kind of training equipments can you access?

If you are completely out of shape I would recommend some bodyweight exercises and I have some good programs for those.

But you have some decent strength and access to weights I would recommend something similar to the starting strength program.

[Thought Riot]

I'd get a gym membership if there's one close by.

For diet, I'd just make sure that it's clean and 4-5 meals a day. Always be full. Avoid sodas, junk food, processed food, etc. Drink a gallon of water a day.

Then I'd start lifting. Either go on a compound lifting program like Starting Strength or a simple split (eg. chest/back, legs/shoulders, arms, core, rest, ...). Consider doing morning cardio before breakfast to burn some fat.

[HLC]

If you're an overweight, out of shape non-exerciser with a crappy diet, you need to start exercising and clean up your diet.
If weight lifting is what you want to do, then start doing it.
It's all good, and no need to put either exercise or diet on hold while you start the other.

[5024L]

If strength is important, go for bodyweight exercises then start lifting.

[000]

Ok, first and most important thing: start eating better. I don't even mean to lose weight or whatever, but just to be healthier. Drink real juices, no soda, and lots of leafy greens. Eat meat, but good quality meat, no fried crap. Then start jogging and doing cardio stuff, and you'll be on your way.

You know, you don't even have to quit smoking weed. Use it as a reward, that's what I do.

[azballer92]

find something you like and build up slowly - 20 minutes at first - then work up to 1 hour or more a day. do it at least 3x/4x week - right down a plan and stick to it - not that hard - our coaches make us do this during the summer .

[HLC]

If strength is important, go for bodyweight exercises then start lifting.

For most that is good advice, but if the OP is weak and fat, bodyweight exercises may be too tough for the beginning resistance.
Access to free weights or a gym would allow a more sane starting level.

[ysr2096]

I'd get a gym membership if there's one close by.

For diet, I'd just make sure that it's clean and 4-5 meals a day. Always be full. Avoid sodas, junk food, processed food, etc. Drink a gallon of water a day.

Then I'd start lifting. Either go on a compound lifting program like Starting Strength or a simple split (eg. chest/back, legs/shoulders, arms, core, rest, ...). Consider doing morning cardio before breakfast to burn some fat.

This. :thumbsup:

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Take up a hobby that involves walking or exercise, like hiking, or running from the cops. Also, get laid and smoke more weed.

[Tokerface]

Eat well and walk alot. Once you feel your physical condition is getting better, maybe start lifting some weights and get into jogging.

good luck ;)

[Travis Bickle]

Start out doing 25 pushups and 25 crunches a day, every month increase 5 reps.

[postdiluvium]

Join some martial arts class. It doesn't even have to be a good class or martial art. Just doing it will make you compare yourself to others and may even embarrass you. Initially the motivation to get in shape and start eating healthier will be because you won't be able to endure the classes. Once you reach that goal, to endure one whole class, you will be well on your way to getting in shape. After that comes comparison and competition. Just mentally comparing yourself with the others in the class and having that competitive environment around you will force you to fine tune your fitness and will force discipline and motivation into your mentality. You may also learn how to defend yourself, or at least gain the confidence in thinking you can defend yourself and kick other people's asses.

Nothing works better than full immersion. Just doing stuff at home, you have the leniency to just not do it or half ass it. In a martial arts class you may be put up to ridicule. My perspective is you do it or you don't. Which is probably why I suggest taking more extreme measures to make sure you aren't sitting on the fence.

[Syphilis]

Eat healthy foods only, and in small quantities. If you're quite overweight, protein powder will help you get in a lot of protein for muscle building without as many calories as normal food.

Run 3-4 times a week for at least 20 minutes, building up every week.