View Full Version : Ninjitsu Lesson - How to Become Invisible for 10 minutes

01-26-2012, 10:12 AM
ok so, Wowgnomes here it is
The ACTUAL Authentic Ninja Invisibility Technique


I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF AM ALLOWED TO SHARE THIS.... you guys are all bad-asses so i think its ok, i've been reading this fourm for the last week...

motherfuckers will fucking assassinate you with this shit,

Darren Brown using the Technique

Derren Brown Invisible - YouTube

HowTO be Invisible - Real Live XBOX Martial Arts Lesson
How To Be Invisible - Real Live XBOX Martial Arts Training
Wouldn't it be great to do in real life all the things you can in XBOX? To a greater or lesser degree, You CAN. Sure, some of the Kung Fu movies exagerate slightly. But understanding the core principles of these mystical feats lets you personally execute these moves in real life - more or less.

Take for instance invisibility. Do you believe that you can be invisible? For many of us nerds out there, that's the story of our lives. When's the last time a hot chick noticed you at a bar? OK, so maybe you're a rich gucci wearing tech entrepreneur of a nerd and chicks notice you all the time. You still get the idea. What you will learn how to do today, is selectively choose when to be invisible.

Prerequisite Practice and Spiritual Meditation
Invisibility is 90% mental / spiritual and only about 10% physical. So lets get the physical stuff out of the way. Actually, no. I want to build you a frame of reference so that you can "see" that invisibility is indeed possible.

Have you ever spent half an hour looking for your glasses or keys to have your girlfriend tell you that they are either on your head or bulging out of your pocket? Have you ever looked in the fridge for the butter and couldn't see it just in front of your eyes? What about at a bank robbery where none of the people on the scene can agree on how many assailants there were? And this one is my favorite. Have you ever had a friend walk up to you and stand there for hours before he scared the shite out of you?

Musicians, RF Engineers, and Ninjas understand why selective recognition happens. They also know how to replicate it to their advantage. What's actually going on here is that when you cannot see something, you are "OUT OF PHASE." The same way a 802.11 frequency wifi antenna could never pick up a 800mhz cdma signal, you are simply out of phase.

When you can't find your glasses on your head, its because you are looking with your eyes so intently that all the CHI ENERGY in your skin sensory nerves are depleted. If you are looking for your keys, you can't find them in your pocket because your chi energy is so focused on arriving late in the future that you cannot feel the present. The reason you couldn't see the butter in the fridge is because you were so hungry for flapjacks that your mind was filled with images of a tall stack dripping with real maple syrup. The image of the butter had no way to squeeze into your head edgewise. Bank robbery? One of the guys were on a different frequency than everyone else in the bank.

Kung Fu Practice and Training DIGG IT!
The human body is nothing more than an antenna. And your mind is the radio. So getting back to the physical part. This is the simple part. Blend in. Cammo helps but for true masters, it is unnecessary. A friend of mine, a Kendo Master (when he was in highschool) was able to elude several police officers wearing dark colors against a white wall. (this story later...)

So physically what you do is blend in through motion. People, trees, shrubbery, all have different frequencies or oscillation cycles. If a tree branch is swaying in the wind there is a specific amount of time it takes to complete one cycle of swaying. Given that the wind speed remains constant, the swaying rhythm of the tree will also be constant. so walk IN PHASE WITH THE TREES.

The Ghestapo will be looking for anything "OUT OF THE ORDINARY" so move like the ordinary.

Now for the spiritual part.

Ever got the sense that someone is staring at your from behind? You turn around and sure enough you were right! How did you know that? Answer: Vibes, RF Emissions, or CHI Energy. If you want to be noticed by someone, all you have to do is match their vibe and stare at their neck. (another topic...) But since you DONT want to be seen, just stop broadcasting your presence.

This is practiced through meditation. We spend so much time trying to be seen, noticed, and nurtured as a child that we never learn how to be invisible. Unless the child is from a disfunctional family. Then the child becomes an expert at hiding. Even in class, he is the kid whos name everyone forgets.

So here is the meditation. Sit comfortably. Full lotus position is good. Relax to the point of REM Sleep (takes a while to sleep sitting up). Now, visualize and feel your clothes evaporating off your body. Next, feel your skin blending into the air like sugar into hot water. Then, see and feel your muscles, blood, tendons, sinews, nerves float away like a leaf from a tree. Finally, see and feel your bones melt into the earth.

Here is the fun part. Go ahead and have an out of body experience. Since you no longer have a body, this should be easy. Go ahead. look around for your self. You should only see the depression on the carpet or mat in the shape of your butt. You are no longer anywhere.

In this condition, you can cruise around the whole world and see things. Native American Medicine Men were supposedly able to "fly" over mountains and accurately count the number of invading troops. Your own personal experience may vary. Try something simple like setting a deck of cards out in front of you and reading the third card out of the deck. If it works, don't freak out. You had a good 2% chance you'd succeed.

In any case, in this condition, you are tough to notice in this frame of mind. Now stay in this frame of mind AND move/sway at the same rate as the environment around you. You will be invisible.

Testing Your New Invisibility
The best way to test your invisibility is in real life situations. Find a movie theatre. Do the meditation and the walk. OH!, breathing is crucial here... more on this later it will take a big lesson to explain proper breathing. But suffice it to say that if you remember the way you were breathing during your meditation, you're doing it right.

Back to the theatre now. Move just as fluidly and calmly as during your meditation. You will be able to walk straight by the ticket matron. Now try this at a bar. Raise the stakes. The worst thing that can happen is that the 6foot 3 bouncer will clobber you with a punch. But that's ok. Just catch it and Aikido toss him into the air.

OK SO REALIZE YOU HAVE WALKED INTO A PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MOVIE...OR OLD KUNG FU MOVIE..or whatever movie turns you on...its here...its true fountain of youth...riches...its all here

is all mememememe with me
01-26-2012, 10:18 AM
didn't you just get banned?

Larry David Staring Contest - YouTube

01-26-2012, 10:29 AM
Larry David Staring Contest - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUTQBBEXMBI)

I lol'd