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View Full Version : 2012 Save your ass,, litrally.


The_Table_File
04-18-2009, 09:21 AM
With that shit about 2012 being around the corner, seriously around the corner, woulden't it be a smart move to get out of the US?. I am POSSITIVE 2012 we will see The United States Of America COMLETELY collapse. Think of it this way, if you don't want to end up in the ground, mass grave, at a very early age, simply get the hell out of the US, its simple, Garanteed,

Step #1. Apply for a credit card, (Try personalizing it, maybe put your girlfriends pic on there?)

Step #2. While your at it grab your friends, tell them its a 4 year long vacation, paid by, the credit card company of your choice.

Step #3. Choose an attractive country to spend the time (Personally, I preffer a country with good internet, cable maybe?)

Step #4. Make sure you STAY OUT OF South America, yes you want to go to the other himisphere, Hey, Europe is not so bad, many Americans fought there in World War 2.

Step #5. Packing your personal belongings: Well who would want to leave a country for 4 years without taking at least SOMETHING that they love and attached to?. (Personally I would undoubtably take my computer, laptop, and computer gear, yes Im a computer lover :V )

Step #6. Chill out, realize that you don't have to pay 1 penny for this, Why?. Because its a fool proof plan! Credit Card companys run the world, they will certanly pay for your expenses.

Step #7. Remember step 3?. Did you finally make up your damn mind?. If not make your mind up. Remember to bring sun lotion if your going on the beach!

Step #8. Well. Get your shit ready and place them next to the door. NO, I don't mean throw them there, I mean fucking pack them into a damn suit case like normal people and THEN put then next to the door.

Step #9. You buy the ticket to the country you select. Its not that hard, after all if you are reading this guide, then you are most likely familiar with a little thing called the INTERNET, yes, try going to a WEBSITE that sells AIRPLANE tickets. travelocity (http://www.travelocity.com/) anyone?.

Step #10. Make SURE to lock your doors before you leave, remember this is a vacation, your NOT abandaning this great country.

Step #11. When you leave for the airport make sure that the gas is OFF, you don't want to come back after 4 years and the aumlet you made for yourself for breakfast 4 years back on the floor, along with the melted pan :V

Step #12. Ok, you ovbiosly need to go to the airport, with all that luggage on your ass, why not order a taxi for once?. Or if your like me, try doing it in style, and order a limo for your self.

Step #13. Arrive AT LEAST 1 hour early to the airport.

Step #14. You arrive at the airport and you go to the terminal, the terminal is a damn building that faces the damn airplane that will take you to your selected destination (The country you choose)

Step #15. Use the bathroom while waiting for the departure time, airplane bathrooms suck.

Step #16. Don't miss the damn flight, another words, don't spend all your time in the bathroom :V

Step #17. Board the damn airlplane.

Step #18. Enjoy the flight, you might realize that it is really damn easy to piss off the stuartesses on the airplanes simply by pressing the button, but I don't reccomending pressing it untill you take off :)

Step #19. Enjoy.

Well, you can't really go wrong with this guide, any suggestions?. The Fema camps are no joke, they will liquidate you.

Yggdrasil
04-18-2009, 09:48 AM
We've been over this. Should said shit hit the fan, the best spot for refuge is Providencia island.

skyclaw441
04-18-2009, 02:13 PM
I'm going to Japan as soon as I graduate high school. Fuck this shit.

Struwwelpeter
04-18-2009, 04:04 PM
LOL, W - O - W ................................. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Phreak
04-18-2009, 04:14 PM
i think you guys think too hard about this shit

supperrfreek
04-18-2009, 05:06 PM
if anything I'd like to stay put. Europe seems to have an even worse history than the US with panics. That's why they had ethnic cleansing, dictators and more ethnic cleansing.

5024L
04-18-2009, 05:10 PM
That was amusing.

alex chilton
04-18-2009, 09:58 PM
could you explain why europe is a safer place than america? doesnt europe have centuries of oppression while the u.s. is arguably the least oppressive country in the world? the thing thats great about america is, in the 19th century while europe was warring with each other and was just a terrible place to live in general, people couldnt be oppressed in america. And if they were, they could just pack up and move out west!! we really had it great. its too bad we have no where to go now, but its still better than europe.

DJ Meaty Cheeks
04-18-2009, 10:00 PM
If the country collapses what makes you think they'll be anything worth coming home to?

InspiredByMe
04-18-2009, 10:02 PM
It's people like you that are furthering the destruction and collapse by believing and preaching bullshit about the 2012 bullshit.

Yggdrasil
04-18-2009, 10:03 PM
could you explain why europe is a safer place than america? doesnt europe have centuries of oppression while the u.s. is arguably the least oppressive country in the world? the thing thats great about america is, in the 19th century while europe was warring with each other and was just a terrible place to live in general, people couldnt be oppressed in america. And if they were, they could just pack up and move out west!! we really had it great. its too bad we have no where to go now, but its still better than europe.

Not quite. Europe is a ginat no-no, any major conflict is going to tear up the continent, just like they always do. America is less assailable, yet easily subject to social and civil unrest. Again, I'd say either Australia or Providencia. No one would want to conquer Australia.

Nero
04-18-2009, 10:06 PM
Why do people still think 2012 is going to happen?

The whole just seems too good to be true.

888
04-18-2009, 10:07 PM
If w.e your saying does happen it wont just be the U.S.A it will be all over. I think its all bullshit anyways....wheres your proof ?

Yggdrasil
04-18-2009, 10:09 PM
....wheres your proof ?

Proof... proof...?!

*laughs maniacally*

Silly boy! This is the conspiracy forum. What proof?!

:wacko:

888
04-18-2009, 10:11 PM
Proof... proof...?!

*laughs maniacally*

Silly boy! This is the conspiracy forum. What proof?!

:wacko:

Yeah... Im gonna go over here now.

Cytosine
04-18-2009, 10:21 PM
Proof... proof...?!

*laughs maniacally*

Silly boy! This is the conspiracy forum. What proof?!

:wacko:

Hey fuck you!

That acid I took last night put me in contact with the beings who live in the supra blue gravitational fields above the Earth! They told me that they told the Mayans that the world was going to end because the hyper-intelligent Cylon mainframe will learn everything it needed to from the experiment that was Earth!

What more evidence could you possibly need????? :confused:

Miaow
04-19-2009, 12:07 AM
What in the fuck?

Name's Taken
04-19-2009, 12:59 AM
I want to punch you square in the dick.

maskedwolfpup
04-19-2009, 01:03 AM
everyone beware of august 29th 2012 0214 eastern time... it won't be good

zuperxtreme
04-22-2009, 07:19 PM
Man, I want a 4 year vacation. :(

EDIT: And fuck you, why avoid South America? I'll go live in Patagonia and chill with penguins.

The_Table_File
04-22-2009, 09:42 PM
Remember kids, if you have to deal with reptiles and lizards, the best way is to use a sword, so go down to your Kendo classes and learn sword fighting, but then agian, you can just have a HIGH caliber weapon with steel plated bullets that will injure the lizards. But I still preffer sword fighting, just like in the old "Mythical"days of Europe, the Prince saving the women from the Evil reptile with a SWORD. Go learn some of it.

Ron_Smythberg
04-22-2009, 09:49 PM
This is just silly..

donvodka
04-24-2009, 04:29 AM
LOL I LOVE THIS STEP TO STEP GUIDE.

"Step #7. Remember step 3?. Did you finally make up your damn mind?. If not make your mind up. Remember to bring sun lotion if your going on the beach!"

Haha I lol'd. Thanks :) See you in Europe.

Shadowphanx
04-27-2009, 11:24 AM
This is probably why your country is in recession at the moment..

Vargus
04-28-2009, 01:15 AM
Whatever is going to happen, I'll have my ducks in a row with several thousand rounds of 5.56 and 9mm and a known source of fresh water. Anything after that and I can rape and pillage to obtain.