best pick up lines

[mutual]

What are the most ridiculous lines you have heard...

dont write them unless you have said them I dont care if you got kicked in the nuts results dont matter.

Nice shoes wanna fuck

it was followed by haha and her boyfriend punching me in face.

[Venatio Vos]

There's already a pick-up line thread. http://bbs.zoklet.net/showthread.php?t=2772

/thread

[Psychotic_Rave]

My friend pick up lines ... simply dont work they are laughable and at the most cute, but you wont score any girls with them. There are no magical words or phrases. Go check out the protips im my opinion they are quite efficient on teaching guys the basics of how to act with women

[Euda]

A girl jumping in my lap on the bus and asking where we were going was a pretty impressive pickup attempt.

[Psychotic_Rave]

A girl jumping in my lap on the bus and asking where we were going was a pretty impressive pickup attempt.
you are doing something right haha

[Korivan i'Alagmarae]

"I just shit my pants, can I get in yours?"

if nothing else, they'll think you are awesome for having the balls to say it...however, this rarely leads to sex. :(

[Agent 008]

HAI2U!

True story. :cool:

[Cliche Guevara]

my magical watch tells me your going to fuck my brains my out.

oh shit, it must be 10 minutes early.

[Th0r]

Tits or GTFO?

[Rykoshet]

I picked a girl up today without meaning to. We got on the streetcar and I wanted to be cute and ask if she could tell me when to get off. I noticed she was really fun to talk to, and it made me want to see her again. (pay attention women, being open, fun, and receptive is the way to go)

I wasn't even gonna ask for her number but I was genuinely interested so I got it as I was leaving. Some old lady ran wingman, she was cool.

[SomeLowLife]

Some old lady ran wingman, she was cool.

Possible threesome I suspect?

[Rykoshet]

Possible threesome I suspect?

Haha

[Cliche Guevara]

best pick up line: i got a gift certificate to red lobster

[refugee]

"whats your name?"
"mallory"
"they shoulda named you beautiful"


gets a laugh everytime and if they call the NBK quote then youve just met your new wife.

[Rykoshet]

"whats your name?"
"mallory"
"they shoulda named you beautiful"


gets a laugh everytime and if they call the NBK quote then youve just met your new wife.

What a hideous name.

[refugee]

What a hideous name.

yeah well its a quote from one helluva movie. way to be a dick though :you_suck:

[WAN]

best pick up line: i got a gift certificate to red lobster
Might not be the best pick up line out there, but I can imagine it would work on some girls.

Especially those who like free things and seafood. There are a lot more of them out there than you'd imagine.

HAI2U!

True story. :cool:

I...cannot disagree with this.

[Rykoshet]

yeah well its a quote from one helluva movie. way to be a dick though :you_suck:

My friend is dating a girl named Mallory and she ruined his life.

[ComradeAsh]

Could you do me a favour and hold this while I go for a walk?

*Holds out hand*

[janitor/rapist]

Could you tell me if this rag smells like chloroform.

[ArmsMerchant]

"HI, I'm Mel Gibson. Did you just see a dingo dog run by with my shirt?"

[Cliche Guevara]

Could you do me a favour and hold this while I go for a walk?

*Holds out hand*

HAHA best one here.

[Cegstar]

Your eyes are even bluer than the water in my toilet.

[Agent 008]

Your eyes are even bluer than the water in my toilet.

Water is not blue. :confused:

[Cegstar]

Water is not blue. :confused:

A lot of people use things like "2000 flushes" which cleans your toilet when you flush, and also turns the water blue.

[Cliche Guevara]

http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/crude.html

haha so joke.s

[Osirius]

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

I wondered why I couldn't see any stars tonight. It's cause they are in your eyes.

Are you a ninja? Cause your body's kicking

[refugee]

My friend is dating a girl named Mallory and she ruined his life.

good explanation.

[DrPepper]

you have something on your face.... wait.. no sorry, it was just beautiful.

[Agent 008]

you have something on your face.... wait.. no sorry, it was just beautiful.

wat

[The Cheshire Cat]

Hi, how's it going? :confused:

[WAN]

wat

I believe the correct spelling is "wut".

On topic:

your vagoo? WANT

[Agent 008]

I believe the correct spelling is "wut".

On topic:

your vagoo? WANT

I find "wat", Numberjumbo-stylie, to be slightly more amusing at the moment.

[moby_dick]

I believe the correct spelling is "wut".

On topic:

your vagoo? WANT

WAN you chanfag. ><

On topic: "You might as well sleep with me"
"Why?"
"Because I'll tell everyone you did anyway"

Who could say no to such compelling logic?

[Hemitrocks]

if you jingle my bells i will promise you a very white christmas

she replied by giggling and calling me lame

i found it entertaining for the moment

[zuperxtreme]

"Damn, with that ass I'd invite you over to take a shit".

EDIT: Sounds better in Spanish. :cool:

"Con ese culo te invito a cagar".

[Cooldarkknick]

"I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."

"Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine."

"Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."

"You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line."

[EllisD]

Since when did angels fly so low to the ground?

[yoplait]

http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj181/Anndrayabelle/Macro/cute-puppy-pictures-kitten-o-hai-lo.jpg
;)

[dreiman]

Hai.

[Cliche Guevara]

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricant.

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

the best ones from that website

[Mankonaut X]

"I've had way too much to drink, can I put my arm around you for stability purposes?"
(worked)
"I hope my breath's okay, can you do a taste test?"
(...nah :( )

I was trashed out of my skull when I said those, I'm a little more subtle when sober.

"From the first moment I saw you I knew I was put on this earth to penetrate you."

I was sober when I said that...maybe I should drink more.

PS: I am not a jerk, promise.

[all_for_war]

hey girl you raise chickens? cuz you sure raised my cock.

girl did you fart? cuz you blew me away (make sure you say this one fast b4 they say fuck you)

that shirt is very becoming on you...but of course if i was on you id be cumming to

[Warped Mindless]

Unlike pickup lines, this actually works:

“Hey… you know what… I just couldn’t continue my day unless I met you”

***pause wait for blush/reaction***

“I was just walking along, minding my own business and then I saw you and went WHOA I have to meet this girl or I would kick myself”.

“I’m [name here]”.

Be fun when you say all that. Smile and make eye contact!

[Agent 008]

"Damn, with that ass I'd invite you over to take a shit".

EDIT: Sounds better in Spanish. :cool:

"Con ese culo te invito a cagar".

Do you ever find yourself in the company of some people who speak Spanish, and some who only speak English? And someone makes a joke in Spanish, and everybody laughs; then someone translates it for the English-speakers, and everyone laughs again?

[Agent 008]

"I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."

This one sounds awesome.

[zuperxtreme]

Do you ever find yourself in the company of some people who speak Spanish, and some who only speak English? And someone makes a joke in Spanish, and everybody laughs; then someone translates it for the English-speakers, and everyone laughs again?

Nah, not really. All the people I know that speak English are already bilinguals so they understood the joke in Spanish already. Plus translated jokes are hardly ever funny...

[Marijuanasaurus]

was your dad a thief? cuz i saw him stealing from k mart last week.

[Mankonaut X]

was your dad a thief? cuz i saw him stealing from k mart last week.

Hahaha.

[mongooseman028]

we are both wearing purple... want to make out?

did not work.

[pink smoke]

"That shirt looks very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too."

[Agent 008]

"That shirt looks very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too."

I think it's the 5th time I read this line in this thread.

[Drox]

Roses are red, violets are blue
I wanna fuck you with a rake

[pink smoke]

I think it's the 5th time I read this line in this thread.

Actually it'd be second. But my fault, I didn't see that it had a second page, or I wouldn't have posted it.

[Kristof]

Hah. Got wasted and used this one last night.
'Did you get a ticket on the way over here? 'Cause you got fine written all over
you'

[Agent 008]

Hah. Got wasted and used this one last night.
'Did you get a ticket on the way over here? 'Cause you got fine written all over
you'

Did it work?

[RadioFree]

"Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?"

Best one from that site, easily.

[Kristof]

Did it work?

Got a laugh out of her, so we chatted for a bit because she thought I was funny.

[SkateSupra]

Hi, how's it going? :confused:

Win

[The English Gentleman]

'Does this hankerchief smell of chloroform'. Works 60% of the times, all the times:cool:

[blazer]

so, i was wondering, what is it like in heaven?

[Cegstar]

I didn't read the thread, so sorry if this is a repeat.

"Wanna play Pearl Harbour? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me"

[Frank]

was your dad a thief? cuz i saw him stealing from k mart last week.

That is the most perfectly placed anti-joke I've ever heard. I'm giving you rep for that.

My love for your is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

It's a bit cold in here can I use your thighs as ear muffs.

[Zanick]

best pick up line: i got a gift certificate to red lobster

this. what it means is that you have effectively ruled out picky eaters, spoiled rich whores, jews, arabs, and the ones that like to stay home with the kids making home-cooked meals instead of getting a real job for some money.