The cult of true apathy, long and mostly bullshit

[ZeroMalarki]

This is something I came up with a few hours ago and I'll admit I've been drinking (ironic since I just posted on how epiphanies on substances mean nothing).

I was on my own freestyle rapping as I walked, badly of course something like

I can't sing without verbratto
I can't paint like Picasso
I can't act like the Hasso
In life I'm generally just shit
A mixed up talentless prick
I might know a bit about psychology
A little bit about our physiology
But I'd just like to make an apology
Because being a jack of all trades and a master of none
Ain't for me because it just ain't fun
At the end of the day I'm just plain dumb

See, it's bad, I admit and it went on but that's as far as I remember.

The point of my rap is that I don't have any real talents. Anything I think I'm good at I'm immediately eclipsed by someone in close proximity. Big let down indeed. Yet I've been brought up on the same ideal that Chuck Palanuik lampooned in Fight Club - that we can do anything we want with our lives. Being an only child, I'm probably the pinacle of this, at some level I believe I'm special and will transcend existence. If I watch the Matrix, I believe I'd be the one. It's perhaps a long term construction in my mind to make up for the fact I've never been especially good at anything athletic or musical (and the fact I was slightly smarter than the kids around me when I was young) I'd end up being better than all the 9-5 workers who never really see any reward for their accomplishment.

Of course, I know the flaws in this. I know I'm often subservient, I'm not necessarily an individual and day in day out I meet people who are just better in general at everything in life. I got attached to computer games when I was a kid because I felt I could be good at them. When I lose, I do so without any dignity.

Now here's the thing; I can either spend my entire life trying to figure it is what I want to do and if I'm good at it, or I can resign myself to not giving a fuck. The not giving a fuck has to be for good.

On several occasions my lack of talent have made me borderline suicidal (if my posts in shrink wrap are anything to go by I'm bi-polar) but sometimes I come out of this still stuck in the rut of "I can find something", but I'm still pissed off. Not just this, but I'm pissed off at the world.

As human beings, we are often shown grim realities, the fact that life the other side of the world (or sometimes near us) is violent, dirty and grimy. We should automatically care about it all. We are also always working on trying to find ourselves spiritually, looking to other ideas for the answer. Our over-thinking can drive us nuts until we realize our answers are never at hand and that we can never enact the solution. We cannot necessarily make our lives better than it already is and by doing what we believe is the right thing, hundreds of negative things might happen without us ever knowing about it. Chaos theory could just be right.

How I intend to deal with this all is that not giving a fuck for good. Develop the true apathy that I believe so many people already have. If it creates a boring life, then I shall attempt to resign myself to not caring. Apathy would be my zen. Enlightenment would be truly not giving a shit about -anything-

Of course this idea would not necessarily benefit mankind. Without caring, there'd be no reason to develop society or civilization, not worrying about the future or the present would stop governments from making the decisions that would help, or if they did they might not care about the consequences.

This post of course has more holes than Swiss cheese. I have no idea about how somebody would live if they lived in this state of true apathy and I have no idea if I can develop true apathy. The danger lies is that by not caring and then somehow falling out of this apathy could make one realize how they have failed to achieve something, like an unmotivated stoner.

Does anybody get what I'm on about, or is this just pure nonsense?

[drBOX]

Sounds like you're coming to a painful realization...

The fading omnipotence of your youth?

I can relate. I was so damned optimistic when I was young. I and my peers were going to move the world, were going to do things differently, I mean what is there to stop us? We could change the world, right? Right...?

Now I'm 22, suffering from depression (improving) and anxiety. Making the most of it, barely.

I probably can't change much. But I'll try with what I've got. With the talents I've got, with the small group of people I have around me.

I definitely don't think extreme apathy as a response is the right answer. You know that too, you're not stupid.

[LiquidIce]

I'm one step behind you. I'm 19 and I think I can manage myself in the great big world without any help. It probably means I'll end up under a bridge or something, but I hope that doesn't happen and I manage to get some low-paying job to live and start some graphic portfolio and go that way.

I think society didn't give us the tools necessary to beat this kind of problem. Most people just go zombie - they just do the work, divorce, boring end-years of their life (full of regrets) etc. They just happily accept the constraints of life. But what about dreamers, people that want to do something, believe the world is their big adventure?

[Comrade Phil]

Teenage angst.

That said, apathy is pretty cool.

[ZeroMalarki]

Teenage angst.

That said, apathy is pretty cool.

Nah, I'm 22.

Whether this makes me immature, I do not know.

[Struwwelpeter]

The only window you can use to achieve out-of-the ordinary accomplishments is open during your adolescent years and that my friend has come and gone. For the spitting image of yourself look no further than the character of Max in Michael Mann's Collateral, an African-American cab driver who has procrastinated over the daydream of starting his own limo business for more than a decade. You're a product of a generation of insecure, confused young faggots. Even if you knew what you wanted to do on this planet you still wouldn't have the character and the will necessary to achieve it. And I'm afraid your efforts to learn in school have been futile.

[ZeroMalarki]

The only window you can use to achieve out-of-the ordinary accomplishments is open during your adolescent years and that my friend has come and gone. For the spitting image of yourself look no further than the character of Max in Michael Mann's Collateral, an African-American cab driver who has procrastinated over the daydream of starting his own limo business for more than a decade. You're a product of a generation of insecure, confused young faggots. Even if you knew what you wanted to do on this planet you still wouldn't have the character and the will necessary to achieve it. And I'm afraid your efforts to learn in school have been futile.

Oh thank you oh wise Jim. I should seek your intelligence in all things in life, so I can be just like you. A "professional" hackey sack/football player who spends all his time on the internet using questionable anthropology to come to a set of even more questionable politics.

[Venom]

Nah, I'm 22.

Whether this makes me immature, I do not know.

It's your pre midlife crisis.

[LiquidIce]

^ Going that way it seems like the whole of life can be divided into various pre/post crisis events. And the crisis' themselves too.

Hey, life ain't pretty and get to that knowledge one small step at a time.
Jean-Paul Sartre once said:
Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth.

[The Jitterskull]

There is always someone better than you, or someone who will be better than you. By this post, everyone on the planet should just give up now.

But we don't, because life is worth living-- for a much greater cause. I'd rather live a life as a person on the street helping tons of people, than having everything handed to me on a silver platter and being an ignorant money whore.

[Ambient]

questionable anthropology

As a man who studies anthropology and ethnography i would not say questionable is not the most appropriate word for mr latino's rhetoric... i dont even the think the accociation with anthropology is warranted.

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OP: True empathy> True apathy