Nameraca
07-03-2009, 02:03 AM
Hi, I have a serious problem, and I hope I can get some serious answers.
These last weeks I've been easily irritated by petty shit. Like, playing Super Smash Bros Melee and failing a hard event repeteadly (yes I don't play much), and then after a while I was pissed and shoved an axe on my very old sofa going to the garbage next week.
Then, whenever I hurt myself like, barely, like hitting my foot on the table, my hip on the counter, I get mad and then my machete is starting to hit the side of my dresser.
Sometimes I miss the bus right at the bus stop, and then that makes me mad, and that cause me to remove the top on another drawer, with an axe.
Just minutes ago, I was playing No more heroes on my Wii, first Wii, just got it, and after losing a few time to the third boss (shinobu) I got pissed, and my phone was ringing. I pause and rush to answer, but then I can't call back cause (my sister was calling) my sister is leaving a message, I get piss and break a broom , start yelling, breaking stuff around, and I broke a mirror (and I don,t believe in 7 years of curse bullshit). Broke a broom, too...
Now whenever that happens I just enrage and I lose control. Like, I can't stop hitting stuff until I calm down. I'm blind with rage. Like it's staying inside, and I gotta throw stuff around, hit stuff until I release it all. It started during January, when I kinda opened up a little more to the world, and now It's become hell. I just lose control, and then manage to hit whatevers belongs to me, in sight.
I live in fear my neighbors (I live in a 6 appartment building and I'm near the top) will call the cops or worse the one who owns the building on me, and I'll get evicted... Yet I don't care when I'm mad...
I want this to stop, but whats the cause?
I do sports every weekends, I got out almost everyday... Is it food?
During the last month, I ate more frozen shit during end of school, because of exams, etc... But what else could cause this?
Is there something in my brain? I eat alot of chocolate, so my serotonin's levels are always high, so I don't get into depression/depersonalization.
Also during the last two weeks I had ''flashbacks'' more like remembering tough, memories that hurts me, like remembering my mom, and that makes me mad, but not as much, I just throw these memories away and tell my mind to shut up.
Also I know that one part of my blind rage is that I had these rages when playing videogames as a kid, 5 years ago, to make my mother react and get mad. But that was a long time ago, and that didn't cover petty shit I named above.
Please, help me... Intelligent answers please.
These last weeks I've been easily irritated by petty shit. Like, playing Super Smash Bros Melee and failing a hard event repeteadly (yes I don't play much), and then after a while I was pissed and shoved an axe on my very old sofa going to the garbage next week.
Then, whenever I hurt myself like, barely, like hitting my foot on the table, my hip on the counter, I get mad and then my machete is starting to hit the side of my dresser.
Sometimes I miss the bus right at the bus stop, and then that makes me mad, and that cause me to remove the top on another drawer, with an axe.
Just minutes ago, I was playing No more heroes on my Wii, first Wii, just got it, and after losing a few time to the third boss (shinobu) I got pissed, and my phone was ringing. I pause and rush to answer, but then I can't call back cause (my sister was calling) my sister is leaving a message, I get piss and break a broom , start yelling, breaking stuff around, and I broke a mirror (and I don,t believe in 7 years of curse bullshit). Broke a broom, too...
Now whenever that happens I just enrage and I lose control. Like, I can't stop hitting stuff until I calm down. I'm blind with rage. Like it's staying inside, and I gotta throw stuff around, hit stuff until I release it all. It started during January, when I kinda opened up a little more to the world, and now It's become hell. I just lose control, and then manage to hit whatevers belongs to me, in sight.
I live in fear my neighbors (I live in a 6 appartment building and I'm near the top) will call the cops or worse the one who owns the building on me, and I'll get evicted... Yet I don't care when I'm mad...
I want this to stop, but whats the cause?
I do sports every weekends, I got out almost everyday... Is it food?
During the last month, I ate more frozen shit during end of school, because of exams, etc... But what else could cause this?
Is there something in my brain? I eat alot of chocolate, so my serotonin's levels are always high, so I don't get into depression/depersonalization.
Also during the last two weeks I had ''flashbacks'' more like remembering tough, memories that hurts me, like remembering my mom, and that makes me mad, but not as much, I just throw these memories away and tell my mind to shut up.
Also I know that one part of my blind rage is that I had these rages when playing videogames as a kid, 5 years ago, to make my mother react and get mad. But that was a long time ago, and that didn't cover petty shit I named above.
Please, help me... Intelligent answers please.