My dog's licking the wall?

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Alright my dog is I think a boston terrier/chiwaawaa thing its spayed in case you need to know. Anyway, I was chilling on the couch and she jumped on the couch by me and she just started licking the cushion. Its nothing I thought she probably smells my absorbed sweat odors or something since I nap on the couch every once in a while and I sweat a lot when I sleep. I put it out of my mind and then about a week ago I saw her licking a seemingly random spot on the wall. I examined the wall and pressed my ear against it thinking maybe their is a mouse or something behind it. As soon as I got close to the wall she(dog) started tugging at my pant leg. She always does playful shit like this so I continue listening. She then takes a huge chomp on my bare leg with force that I have never witnessed from her before.

I put her in the back yard to I guess punish her or something, and I go back inside to relax and do whatever. I then hear a scratching sound at the spot in the wall she was licking. I decided to cut out the section of the wall to let the mouse/bird/spider/whatever out. As I started to cut into the wall, my dog came barreling through the house and dove directly into me with what felt like the force of a man. My dog is small. Cant be over 15 lbs and she managed to knock me over. I have no fucking idea how she got into the house. The all doors leading outside were closed, no windows were broken, and there aren't any holes in my house that I'm aware of.

I find this very odd. I put her out again and the scratching noise is back. I knock on the wall hoping to startle whatever is there or something, any thing to give me a clue about what the fuck it is. I knock and the scratching actually grew louder and faster. At this point my dog is flipping out at the back door, yelping, clawing, jumping the highest I've ever seen her jump before. I let her in and she runs directly to the spot and starts licking the spot for about 5 minutes and all scratching ceases.

She licks the same spot for a total of about an hour at least everyday and she flips out when she the scratching starts and she is outside, which I think is weird because the scratching is pretty faint enough to were I can't hear it unless I'm right there with my ear close to the spot where it always occurs, so I really doubt she can hear it outside over highway traffic and Mexican neighbors. Any ideas what I should do?

[ShutMeUp]

That's pretty weird.

[zombo.com]

gave me a flashback to that old horror movie where a hole to hell opens in the backyard.
Not sure why.
I think i'd have to take a hammer to the wall and find out what the fuck was in there.

[Kwinnie Bogan]

Yeah, open the wall up man. Carefully too. Use a bit of tube and a stethoscope to try and locate the source, and do it ASAP. Probably a good idea to lock your dog in another room while you do it.

How is your dog acting? Dog it prick its ears up and cock its head then lick, does it wag its tail? Or does it look flustered and anxious and scratch at the wall.

Could be an animal trapped in your wall, if you live in an apartment I would lol if there's another guy on the other side with a dog doing the exact same thing.

[Skater14]

Could be an animal trapped in your wall, if you live in an apartment I would lol if there's another guy on the other side with a dog doing the exact same thing.

Ahaha for some reason this made me laugh.

[ShutMeUp]

cut open the wall. do it

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Yeah, open the wall up man. Carefully too. Use a bit of tube and a stethoscope to try and locate the source, and do it ASAP. Probably a good idea to lock your dog in another room while you do it.

How is your dog acting? Dog it prick its ears up and cock its head then lick, does it wag its tail? Or does it look flustered and anxious and scratch at the wall.

Could be an animal trapped in your wall, if you live in an apartment I would lol if there's another guy on the other side with a dog doing the exact same thing.

Uhhhmm, its ears normal I guess I don't know. She never scratches the wall, she just calmly walks over to it at random times in the day and licks it for a few minutes then carries on. After some experimentation, I've noticed she starts to get anxious if she is away from the wall for more than 2 hours, and the scratching seems to start about 2 hours after she licked it last. I'm not in an apartment and I'm in a pretty rural area so I'm thinking maybe a baby possum since I seem to see quite a few of those around here. I'll probably cut into it tomorrow.

[Name's Taken]

It's probably an animal trapped in there, we had a bird stuck in our wall and our dog scratched the plaster to hell trying to get to it.

[Kwinnie Bogan]

Possum is possible, true. Baby bird lends a lot of credibility to this though as dogs can hear much higher pitched sounds than humans. Perhaps she can hear its tweeting.

You should open it right now man. Kill the animal quickly to end it's suffering, or raise it. Even if you don't have a heart, a dead animal is going to start stinking up the place really fucken quick so you should still get in there ASAP.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Possum is possible, true. Baby bird lends a lot of credibility to this though as dogs can hear much higher pitched sounds than humans. Perhaps she can hear its tweeting.

You should open it right now man. Kill the animal quickly to end it's suffering, or raise it. Even if you don't have a heart, a dead animal is going to start stinking up the place really fucken quick so you should still get in there ASAP.

Whatever it is, its been alive in there for about a week and a half so I'm sure it will still be alive tomorrow morning.

[nutsack]

Whatever it is, its been alive in there for about a week and a half so I'm sure it will still be alive tomorrow morning.

Inb4 huge alien monster bursts out of your wall while you sleep

[Kwinnie Bogan]

Whatever it is, its been alive in there for about a week and a half so I'm sure it will still be alive tomorrow morning.

Fair enough.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

I got into the wall this morning. I did it just after I let my dog lick it so I can put her outside for as long as possible without her flipping out. I hear no scratching so I decide it would be good to start cutting. I start to make a square around the area as soon as the blade touched the wall, I hear my dog start barking and whining. I think to myself she is just going to have to deal with it. I push the blade into the wall and I hear a loud sound at my door. I walk over and looks out side and my dog is ramming the fucking door with her head. She would back up about 6-7 feet, take off, and slam into the door with her fucking head. This is getting insane I thought.

I took her to Grandma's house while I cut the wall. My Grandma loves the dog. In fact it was her dog before she gave it to me. It was a case of the dog just showing up and her keeping it because it was cuter than a button. Any way, I drop her off with my grandma with some food and get back on the road home. About half way home, its about 45 minutes to and from my grandma's including visiting chit chat time, I get a phone call from my Grandma that the dog has escaped. I'm pretty pissed because I think the old bitch fucked some shit up and let her out but its not really possible since Granny doesnt even go outside and all doors remain locked even due to elderly paranoia.

I tell granny to forget about. Since the dog was found and probably born around there she probably knows her way back. I arrive home in about 20 minutes after the phone call. I get back to the wall and go to the garage to get my shit out again, and the dog is in the garage looking at me.... I go back inside and put the dog in my room with a blanket over the door for some head cushion. I call my grandma and tell her so she won't worry. I mention to her that I was cutting into the wall and what was all happening. After I mention this, she asks me to come up to her house, in a really worried and anxious voice. She says her carbon monoxide detector is going off. I call my mother since she was already in town to by there.

Back to business, I begin cutting into the wall. I penetrate it in spot I started last time and begin working down. With every centimeter I cut the dog bashes into the door harder. I make the line down and begin cutting horizontally to make an L, and the dog starts banging into the wall closest to wall the licks. I make it about half-way the length it needs to be and I decide to check on the dog. She has rendered her self unconscious. With a nice blood stain on the wall. She is still breathing her eyes are twitching in what I assume is the REM portion of sleep.

I take the opportunity to finish the wall and finally find out what in there. I get three sides of the square done and begin working on the final bit, when the scratching starts. This startles the hell out of me. I step back and just watch. The scratch is powerful enough to move the section of wall a bit. It gets more powerful and its actually pushing the bit of wall out on its own. I run and grab my small animal capturing net so I can nab this fuck whatever it is when it pushes through. The square is about to break through and I'm sitting there with my net ready when it finally gives way, and much to my chagrin, out comes flying my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suite case and send me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'. First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. But wait I hear they're prissy, wine all that Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat? I don't think so I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

[5024L]

Well played sir, well played.

[CrazyJoe]

Hahahaha!

[nutsack]

I lol'd

[T.K. Baha]

I thought it seemed fake a few posts in. You and your god damn fresh prince.

http://themixtapemonster.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/fresh_prince_cast.jpg

[KRS-93]

that was probably the most elaborate well played troll i ever seen. on the other hand i really wanted to know wat it could have been

[bigfoot]

what about your granny and the carbon monoxide? you heartless prince

[Haiti's Space Agency]

what about your granny and the carbon monoxide? you heartless prince

I was already half way home and my mother, my grandma's daughter, was only like 10 minutes away so I called her.

[SHARP]

Take note people, this is the way to troll, unless you want to bring down the wrath o' thy Mods.

[zombo.com]

Not bad.

[Jamie Madrox]

Shit you had me going really good.

[Svenarchy]

Nice, you had me going there...

[MrNatowski]

Very nice. I didn't suspect a thing until the last post. I was into the second paragraph and then suddenly it hit me and I scrolled down.

You sir, are good.

[RosettaStoned]

So what was inside the wall?

[Cathy McGee]

my cat licks our blinds.

[ShutMeUp]

Dude :thumbsup:

[Eridani]

Very good, at least you put some effort in to it. Well written stuff, I was really excited to find out what was in the wall.

[Sookie]

Lol at "chiwaawaa."

[F.U.B.A.R]

Well Played Sir.. Well Played.

I still want to know what was in the wall..you should finish this little story. At first I thought maybe your dog was addicted to the paint or something...

[IcarusTheFool]

One of the best Bel Airs I've ever seen.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

I still want to know what was in the wall..you should finish this little story. At first I thought maybe your dog was addicted to the paint or something...

...So I'm staring at the wall in the ready position about to pounce once the wall finally breaks. Its slowly getting more powerful, the scratching is getting louder, and then suddenly, it stops. I move in closer to the wall to investigate when I hear my dog bark. She is behind me with a huge knot on her head and blood dripping everywhere. I go to the room she was in to make sure I'm not hallucinating, but this double-check didn't help my insanity at all.

The door was still closed. I opened it and the blood on the wall was gone. Maybe I just imagined it earlier. I turn my attention back to my injured dog and she is completely unharmed. No swelling, no blood, not anything that I witnessed just moments before. I get a phone call and its from Grandmother, she sounds startled.

"Dont do it Alex."
"What?"
"Your mother told me what you were doing to my house, stop right now"

This house used was built by my great grandfather and my grandfather with their bare hands over 80 years ago. It was passed down to my mother and father when they got married and they've lived here for like 20 years now. Why would my Grandmother still think its her house? I call my mom to tell her I'm worried about Granny and on the first ring, Granny answers.

"LEAVE IT ALONE"
"its not your fuc--"
"IT WAS BUILT BY MY GRANDFATHER AND I INHERITED it LEAVE IT ALONE"
*hangs up*

Bullshit I think to myself. I walk out to the garage and grab my sledgehammer. This shit is going down. I walk back in the house and are met by my dog, who has a vicious little grin on her face.

"FuCK YOU DOG, YOUR GOING IN THE FUCKKING ROOM AGAIN"

I pick it up in an angry fit and place it in the room. I feel an odd sense of accomplishment from this. I proudly walk back to my mighty hammer and let out a chuckle of satisfaction of what I am about to do. I square up to the spot I'm about to blow away and *RING RING RING RING RING*

"wHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!"
"I ONLY WANT YOUR SAFETY"
"FUCK YOU GRANDmA, YOUR GRANPA HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 700 YEARS YOU ALZHEIMER-RIDDEN BLIND BITCH!"

I hang the phone up by tossing it in the air and smashing it with my mighty hammer. I heartily admire the moment for a moment, the hammer weighs nothing to me. It feels like a wiffle bat, yet so destructive, nothing can stop me with my mighty hammer. I let out a hearty laugh at this realization, and then, my dog appears in front of me, with rage in her eyes.

"fUCK YOU DOG"
"gRRRRR"
"BITCH IM YOUR MASTER DONT FUCKING GROWL AT ME"
"BARKS lOUD"

I bark back with all my fucking power and I shake the god damn room. The dog makes its move and jumps toward my jugular, I swiftly strike down the beast and drop a 20 pound hammer of sledge directly on the top of her head while she's soaring through the air.

My blood lust is resolved but not my wall issue. Finally, I get find out. This will be the greatest moment of your life, one voice tells me, its finally here alex you're the greatest man that has ever lived, another voice in my head shouts.

I am being egged on by fucking voices in my head, and I love it. I square up, cock the hammer back, and unleash my full power on the wall.

BOOM!!!!


The ceiling drops slivers of plaster all over the floor. A thick layer has collected on everything from the collision, but the wall remains in tact. My insanity escalates 10 fold. I march out to the garage in pursuit of better battlements, when I notice there is spot on the floor not covered by plaster, and its in the shape of my dog. I do a 180 and there is my dog. She is bigger than before. A lot bigger. She is my height, and standing on her hind legs. I drop to my knees in awe. A bright light appears behind her and I see wings sprout from her back. Amazing. She strolls over to the wall, rips the fucking thing down, and jumps into the wall.

She disappeared into the darkness and I walk over and peek my head in. Complete darkness except for a slight glimmer that looked like a lone star in the night. That star was Bo-Peep(dog). Suddenly, the light explodes into a massive blinding wave of energy that shook the Earth to it's core.

I am blind. I am deaf. I feel nothing. I am nothing.


I wake up in my grandmas house and she explained to me that my great grandfather was the anti christ and he trapped within the wall of the house for all eternity due to the immense power of my dog who was actually an angel who was the gatekeeper to make sure hell never broke lose on Earth.

[ShutMeUp]

^ I might read that at some point. Is it worth it (funny)?

[Haiti's Space Agency]

^ I might read that at some point. Is it worth it (funny)?

No, but its your fucking job to read your forum's posts so how about you get off your ass you lazy bitch.

[nuclearrabbit]

God fucking damnit. Kudos to you, good sir.

[SHARP]

No, but its your fucking job to read your forum's posts so how about you get off your ass you lazy bitch.

Beat her to it.

[nutsack]

I wake up in my grandmas house and she explained to me that my great grandfather was the anti christ and he trapped within the wall of the house for all eternity due to the immense power of my dog who was actually an angel who was the gatekeeper to make sure hell never broke lose on Earth.

So why did the dog want to break the wall?

[Haiti's Space Agency]

So why did the dog want to break the wall?

To finally destroy the evil behind it, which is what the huge explosion was.

[nutsack]

To finally destroy the evil behind it, which is what the huge explosion was.

http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/cool_story_bro.jpg

[Rory]

To finally destroy the evil behind it, which is what the huge explosion was.

So why was the dog licking the wall?

[Haiti's Space Agency]

So why was the dog licking the wall?

The dog's saliva was a magical serum that kept evil at bay.

[ShutMeUp]

No, but its your fucking job to read your forum's posts so how about you get off your ass you lazy bitch.

:rant::rant::rant:




Cheers SHARP ;)

[Winter]

Good Bel air and the ending was fairly funny. I lol'd.

[i<3Shrooms]

Ahhh I knew it when I was a bit into the second big post ;)

[CrazyJoe]

Fucking lol

[ShutMeUp]

I've kept this open 'cause it's pretty funny, but all good things must come to an end.



Edit - re-opened due to popular demand. :D

[Dodectabone]

Hooray for still reading the bottom first.

That is one truly invaluable trick Totse taught me.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Hooray for still reading the bottom first.

That is one truly invaluable trick Totse taught me.

Sure, you say you did....

[Dodectabone]

Sure, you say you did....

No worries, I still laughed and then read through it... I just usually have to weigh whether or not a long post is worth reading or not.

I also like redundancy so much, I'm not going to bother correct that post.

Tally ho!

[ShutMeUp]

alexander224 should add to the story.

[JimmyJ]

Very nice!

[Raptor Ribs]

Wrong forum at this point. I think you all suck for thanking the troll. Pulling off a good belair isn't even hard, just write half of an interesting story like the OP did. Belair is gay, and supporting it is just going to encourage tons of noobs to attempt it themselves. Way to go idiots.

OP and belair supporters fucking suck.

BTW, I knew something wasn't right in the first post when you said the dog got inside and yet all the doors and windows were closed. This wasn't even that great of a belair.

[ShutMeUp]

Oh shush, we don't get many decent troll threads in here and it's good for a laugh occasionally... As long as they're not too obvious, that is.

[bornkiller]

Winrar:thumbsup:

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Wrong forum at this point. I think you all suck for thanking the troll. Pulling off a good belair isn't even hard, just write half of an interesting story like the OP did. Belair is gay, and supporting it is just going to encourage tons of noobs to attempt it themselves. Way to go idiots.

OP and belair supporters fucking suck.

BTW, I knew something wasn't right in the first post when you said the dog got inside and yet all the doors and windows were closed. This wasn't even that great of a belair.

mad because I belair'd you lol

[:MAD:ijuana]

Finally a trolling to appreciate:thumbsup: the 2nd part sorta gave it away but damn you had me going

[Raptor Ribs]

mad because I belair'd you lol

Mad because everyone seems to be applauding your belair. I honestly thought you were trolling when you said the dog came back into the house and the doors were all closed in your OP.

If you want to belair troll then go ahead, but everyone's reaction to this thread is just going to encourage more trolling. And IMO belair is the worst troll meme ever. At one point half of the threads in SG were all belair. When this shit catches on its annoying as fuck.

[TerryCollins]

I spent some time in eastern Russia a few years ago and that was a common trait displayed but dogs trained to 'be with' humans (don't ask! apparently there is a lot of money in it over there).

Have you gone away recently and left the dog with anyone? Does it display a fondness of jams/peanut butter/corn syrup/ect? If it does i would contact animal welfare immediately.