I'm 18 and I have no feelings

[Iolite]

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

[Ioabs]

Sounds like you have a psychological problem that is undiagnosed and being treated under the general anxiety disorder catch-all. You should talk to a counsellor, and don't turn to drugs to liven your perception esp. cocaine which can make mental problems much worse esp. schizophrenia.

[Stock Market Anomalies]

its a lot of fun though

[Mirana]

I hope you already know anti-depressants purpose is to turn you into a apathetic zombie? they don't hand out happy pills.

But besides drugs, you just need to get inspired... so get on that.

[PuttinOnTheRitz]

pussy

[Syphilis]

Sounds like you have a psychological problem that is undiagnosed and being treated under the general anxiety disorder catch-all.

No, people need to stop getting diagnosed with mental problems. It gives them a convenient excuse, and the medication is then a convenient excuse not to try to fix themselves by themselves.

and don't turn to drugs to liven your perception esp. cocaine which can make mental problems much worse esp. schizophrenia.

Yes. Alcohol, drugs (including weed), just make it worse. Get off the lexapro. If you can't fix yourself without the medication, you'll never get better.

[Dog]

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

[Dark Feather]

Dont worry. Feelings at 18 are dangerous any way...
Happy fucking, without Feeling.... :thumbsup:

[IcarusTheFool]

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

[Dog]

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

That's not true. The "hangover" lasts for like 1 day, and it isn't a shitty feeling...just a bit strange.

[coolstorybro]

Congratulations, you may be sociopathic

[unstableasatable]

meet some new people. do new things, get out more, find a short term goal and acieve, head for a long time life goal (e.g. run a company)

just realy need to meet loadsa new people or take up a ew activiy, out of 100 people one should get 2 good friends. then do shit with them ... go on adventures and camp up a mountain or sum sit.

also lots exorcise

[Mirana]

meet some new people. do new things, get out more, find a short term goal and acieve, head for a long time life goal (e.g. run a company)

just realy need to meet loadsa new people or take up a ew activiy, out of 100 people one should get 2 good friends. then do shit with them ... go on adventures and camp up a mountain or sum sit.

also lots exorcise

Yeah this. Unless you've seen every person in your life die a horrible death you really shouldn't be at the state you convinced yourself you're in.

[The Jitterskull]

WARNING:

Just don't cold turkey your drugs, go off them slowly...
The medication is designed to keep you in your current state, it gets Big Pharma more money. You don't like being poisoned, do you?


Go eat healthy (I mean healthy, cut that sugar crap out), eat tons of veg's and meat. Exercise. I know its a downhill spiral, but if you're on medication your workload in life shouldn't be too hard.

[gizmo]

I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

If you think this, you really just don't know. There are an infinite amount of possibilities that could be done. It shows without speaking that it's what you make of those possibilities.

It's only human to feel worthless in a world so much bigger than you, and there's nothing you could really change about that besides keeping yourself preoccupied and trying out new things.

... Just saying. :rolleyes:.

[Unnecessary~surgery]

try getting a gurl frewnd

[Jerry]

fuck that asian chick you wrote about and all this may change..........

[gizmo]

fuck that asian chick you wrote about and all this may change..........

There's nothing wrong with Asian chicks...

[Axiom]

The fact you have to justify your dosage to perfect strangers such as us, suggests this depression (and subsequent struggle) is all you have. You're 18 and you have no feelings? then tell me Iolite, how exactly do you know you even felt depressed. Was it a strictly intellectual pursuit? Maybe you understood what it was to be indifferent and you didn't experience that, so by definition you must have be depressed?. I'm not so sure, but hear me out.

You use the adjective "incredibly" to describe this to us. "Incredibly" is an emotionally labored word to describe your situation of not having any feelings. Surely, you wouldn't be able to scope the dismay, such as having no emotional bearings on how you were feeling at the time of writing that. By your own language it is evident that you are more unaware of your emotions, than you are lacking in them. That's probably the something you feel is missing. "I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle." - There's more feeling in that single sentence than in most of the comments following it.

Now, on to Perception - Perception is key here. Perception infers lacking in emotion. Look it up.

All life is perceived and your experiences are as individualized as your DNA. The actual physics of one earth day and the molecular processes we go through in a 24hour period blows my mind. Consciousness is an incredible (there's that adjective again) trip. We all require powerful minds to perceive this reality and you, because of your current (highly charged) emotional state, am choosing to experience this illusion of reality withdrawn. I don't believe you're on a search for your emotions, you're on a search for who is having them and as a 18 year old, you might not figure that out for a long time. Now, that's always going to sound clique to a teenager, but it's what everyone goes through. You have to find what works for you.

But I don't fucking care if you do or don't, I have no emotions, you see...

[ants in my poptarts]

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

Try taking a lot of acid. My friend went through what you described. He took ten hits of acid while at his house, alone one night. I'm pretty sure he had a psychotic episode or something, because after that he acted like a schizo. He attempted suicide like 6 months later. So try taking a lot of acid and see if that helps.

[Iolite]

I forgot to mention, I stopped taking the lexapro like a month or two again cold turkey and had no side effects that i'm aware of.

I've already had my drug phase, and my drinking phase.
I don't like using psychedelics to cure these types of problems because last time I tried that, I used it wrong and my mind wandered off into useless philosophy that didn't change the way i felt at all when the trip was done.
I didn't feel depressed, but I sure was far from happy---I felt like there was chaos in my head. My psychologist suggested I just try out the lexapro for a while to get in a better state, then stop after 6 months.

[Jerry]

There's nothing wrong with Asian chicks...

I'm not saying there was :confused:

I'm encouraging him to fuck her.......

[borntobedead]

nobody has feelings anymore cause nobody really cares anymore i mean look at america u got cock suckers and monkeys your just pointing out the obiviouse genius ur not the only one

[borntobedead]

soz for double post but ill give u some advise that works smoke alot of weed its the natural way of making you more social go out smoke weed and stuff like i do go to the pool smoke weed and ull talk to everyone meybe its just cuz everybody knows me but stop being a loser and smoke weed you be cool then mmmkay

[Eridani]

No, people need to stop getting diagnosed with mental problems.

Fucking this!

soz for double post but ill give u some advise that works smoke alot of weed its the natural way of making you more social go out smoke weed and stuff like i do go to the pool smoke weed and ull talk to everyone meybe its just cuz everybody knows me but stop being a loser and smoke weed you be cool then mmmkay

You are joking right? Whenever I smoke I go extremely unsocial - find it really hard to talk to new people. When I was 17/18 out of school and just getting stoned constantly I almost never got laid because of low self confidence when I was high. I still smoke and love to get stoned I just prefer doing so on my own.

[borntobedead]

Fucking this!



You are joking right? Whenever I smoke I go extremely unsocial - find it really hard to talk to new people. When I was 17/18 out of school and just getting stoned constantly I almost never got laid because of low self confidence when I was high. I still smoke and love to get stoned I just prefer doing so on my own.

usualy its the other way around but then i think ur at the last rescort and u should just kill ur self and do the world a favor if you feel like a loser then you are ....

[Xhunkfish]

Troll.

[slowdown]

I forgot to mention, I stopped taking the lexapro like a month or two again cold turkey and had no side effects that i'm aware of.

I've already had my drug phase, and my drinking phase.
I don't like using psychedelics to cure these types of problems because last time I tried that, I used it wrong and my mind wandered off into useless philosophy that didn't change the way i felt at all when the trip was done.
I didn't feel depressed, but I sure was far from happy---I felt like there was chaos in my head. My psychologist suggested I just try out the lexapro for a while to get in a better state, then stop after 6 months.

You are 18. At this point in a persons life there is many stresses as they enter and change into adulthood. The antidepressants are good if you are unable to function normally, but if you feel low and chaotic then you may want to first try to alter your diet some foods can increase that mental chatter and confusion (caffeine, sugar, preservatives and other artificial ingredients, and for some people wheat.)

Also try to meditate and find some hobby or something that helps you focus. Just taking drugs wont help you find the coping skills that will be necessary as you get older and just get into more chaotic opportunities.

Just think of life as a roller coaster. There are both ups and downs; Just try to enjoy the ride.

[mafiabro]

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day
I stoped reading as soon as i got here. Grow the fuck up and quit bitching about your *mental condition* Your not depressed, your a pussy. I really hate it when doctors diagnose anyone with a problem with depression, its almost as annoying as when they give 1/3 kids ritalin for their *ADHD* Most kids are just hyper, only a small amount actually have ADHD
Your problems not depression, you just need to get out more and do stuff...with those things called friends,that is if they didn't all leave you for talking about things that happen to you in poem form.
Dr.M's suggestion? Do something with your life, instead of complaining about it and taking drugs to convince yourself you have a problem.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

You need to shit or get off the pot bro.

[PROJECT PAT]

/emo

[Joe Camel]

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

That's not true. The "hangover" lasts for like 1 day, and it isn't a shitty feeling...just a bit strange.

Depends on the bean, dumb asses.

[Manifesto]

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

Acid.

[Iolite]

I stoped reading as soon as i got here. Grow the fuck up and quit bitching about your *mental condition* Your not depressed, your a pussy. I really hate it when doctors diagnose anyone with a problem with depression, its almost as annoying as when they give 1/3 kids ritalin for their *ADHD* Most kids are just hyper, only a small amount actually have ADHD
Your problems not depression, you just need to get out more and do stuff...with those things called friends,that is if they didn't all leave you for talking about things that happen to you in poem form.
Dr.M's suggestion? Do something with your life, instead of complaining about it and taking drugs to convince yourself you have a problem.

Typical black and white moron

[mafiabro]

Typical black and white moron

See, now i'm going to cut my self:(

[33% God]

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

Fuck do I want some ecstasy.

I'm not even depressed,I just want to try the shit.

[Chris]

i have called the waaahbulance they will be here soon with a cooler full of ice to sooth your butt hurt.

[constantinople]

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

X never changed my outlook on life, ever. You are a fucking idiot. A PARTY DRUG IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO USE FOR THERAPY ya fucking mug.

[gizmo]

X never changed my outlook on life, ever. You are a fucking idiot. A PARTY DRUG IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO USE FOR THERAPY ya fucking mug.

Actually ecstasy has been used in terms of therapy for married couples/families who needed to work out their issues and get everything out in the open.

If you're having boyfriend/girlfriend issues, both should pop pills and just talk it out. ;)

[Anal Assassin]

opium.

[Manifesto]

Acid acid acid acid lsd!!!!! :mad::mad::mad:

Seriously, I guarantee two hits of some good blotter and your problems will be solved, my man.

[Iolite]

See, now i'm going to cut my self:(

Me too, you just wrote such an accurate description of me that I think I'll never post here again.
That's such an uncanny ability, I'm TOTALLY the guy with black hair and nailpolish sitting in the back corner silently looking down ever day.
But fuck all those around me man, becuase I'm an ARTIST ya know? :rolleyes:


P.S. You don't really know anyone you know, and if you do; they're just as boring and moronic as you are.


And to the above post, No.
Acid would be wasted, because my mind would drift off into thoughts of existence and all that crap though it's interesting and insanely complex, it's all useless at the end of the day when it becomes nothing more than something that's just in your head.
And that's exactly what I'm trying to get out of

[mafiabro]

Me too, you just wrote such an accurate description of me that I think I'll never post here again.
That's such an uncanny ability, I'm TOTALLY the guy with black hair and nailpolish sitting in the back corner silently looking down ever day.
But fuck all those around me man, becuase I'm an ARTIST ya know? :rolleyes:


P.S. You don't really know anyone you know, and if you do; they're just as boring and moronic as you are.


your really determined to be a pussy about this aren't you:rolleyes:

[Iolite]

Wut is sarcazm

[Jeff Gatherer]

feeling nothing is better than repressed misery, believe me. And if life seems repetitive and pointless, that`s because it usually is.

[Mor3BL7]

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

Lol at me thanking him

[mafiabro]

Wut is sarcazm

THANK YOU for opening my eyes and showing me that that post was full of sarcasm. my feeble mind would not have been able to realize this. You are such a fantastic person, that i have begun construction of you statue in your honor. Would you like it in gold or granite Sir?

[Sookie]

How come every 18-year old on Zok claims to be stone cold, sociopathic, emotionless?

Don't think of yourself that way. Maybe this sounds girly and gay and shit, but if you tell yourself that you're gonna live a great life, and people are good, and there are fun things to do, then your attitude's gonna be a lot better.

Granted you have the whole drug thing going on, but why don't you just like... stop taking everything, go spend a weekend up in the mountains, and chill the fuck out? Life isn't too bad, son.

[Iolite]

That's what I've done, minus the mountains part.
I rarely have time for that anymore.
I must be doing SOMETHING right, because there's no doubt that I've gotten a lot better compared to a year ago when the only feeling I had was a constant rage that i've never seen anywhere else.
I guess I just wish there was a quicker way
@mafiabro
It's quite hard to tell if what I typed was beyond you or not, based on your first reply.

[mafiabro]

You didn't reply fast enough so now you get gold
http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss285/mafiabro12/214302-Gold-Statue-0.jpg

[Iolite]

You didn't reply fast enough so now you get gold
http://i584.photobucket.com/albums/ss285/mafiabro12/214302-Gold-Statue-0.jpg

I didn't understand this post, but I sure got the other ones.

This is yet another example of a very, very common occurence in day to day life.

The person behind the words posted by the surname "mafiabro" felt threatened by what I posted, because he was able to connect with what I wrote to his own personal experiences, in one way or another....
In order to prove himself, he had to be the conservative father figure telling the "new generation pussy" that his psychological problems are nothing more than a facade to hide behind....to draw attention away from himself.


I pity people like you mafiabro, because it must be so lonely when you don't even know yourself.

[mafiabro]

I didn't understand this post, but I sure got the other ones.

This is yet another example of a very, very common occurence in day to day life.

The person behind the words posted by the surname "mafiabro" felt threatened by what I posted, because he was able to connect with what I wrote to his own personal experiences, in one way or another....
In order to prove himself, he had to be the conservative father figure telling the "new generation pussy" that his psychological problems are nothing more than a facade to hide behind....to draw attention away from himself.


I pity people like you mafiabro, because it must be so lonely when you don't even know yourself.
If you didn't get why i made it, then no, you didn't get all my other posts. If you didn't get the meaning, I'm being an asshole for quick lulz before i carry on with my day.
I'm afraid that you have over thought the situation, and have come to the conclusion that i am displaying a cry for help. This is false, i am having a laugh at your expense. The problem here is that you A: Tried your hardest to better yourself than me when you are the one with the problem, and B: Played pretend shrink and tried to label someone over the internet. You also have no one but yourself to blame for the reply's calling you a pussy. You came here complaining about your life expecting us to console you and help you find your way. Do you think people honestly want to hear about your emotional problems? Your taking the internet to seriously, Your taking life to seriously. I look forward to your response, as i am sure that you will come up with something "Deep", to try and convince yourself you understand life so much more than everyone else when, in reality,you lack even one iota of sense in your confused head.

[Mr. White]

I have not read much of this thread.

[Iolite]

If you didn't get why i made it, then no, you didn't get all my other posts. If you didn't get the meaning, I'm being an asshole for quick lulz before i carry on with my day.
I'm afraid that you have over thought the situation, and have come to the conclusion that i am displaying a cry for help. This is false, i am having a laugh at your expense. The problem here is that you A: Tried your hardest to better yourself than me when you are the one with the problem, and B: Played pretend shrink and tried to label someone over the internet. You also have no one but yourself to blame for the reply's calling you a pussy. You came here complaining about your life expecting us to console you and help you find your way. Do you think people honestly want to hear about your emotional problems? Your taking the internet to seriously, Your taking life to seriously. I look forward to your response, as i am sure that you will come up with something "Deep", to try and convince yourself you understand life so much more than everyone else when, in reality,you lack even one iota of sense in your confused head.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
thank you for making my day, i love laughing at the idiots expense