Toothlessjoe
07-31-2009, 03:21 PM
There was this corporate christmas party
today i went to, albeit
begrudgingly.
And my first problem was
--no booze.
not a god damn drop in
the place except in pocket
flasks that only saw light
in bathroom stalls and
on the way.
My second problem was a prayer
a good, hearty prayer
which threatened my salad and
made the lettuce taste bitter and old
like a spent radish discarded
for its demeanor. But I continued
eating through it, and flashed
my teeth like a dog.
And yeah, hell yeah, I understand
that it's supposed to be the
big guy's b-day and all,
even though the date is five
months off by biblical accounts, and
yes, hell yes, I understand that
christmas is supposed to be about
the christ and whatnot, that big
passive-aggressive guy in the sky
who doesn't seem to give a lick about
the little people downstairs
but Jesus!
What kind of asshole needs people to thank
Him Him Him for food
that a catering service cooked
for nigh minimum wage while
some of their children starve and
brothers and sisters hook for crack
or blow up
making meth or
getting shot and raped or
molested?
But really, what really pissed me off
really
was that it lasted so long and
by the time it was done
so was my buzz
from the way over.
If I were Jesus, I'd rather be drank to.
That's a religion I could practice
and perfect.
today i went to, albeit
begrudgingly.
And my first problem was
--no booze.
not a god damn drop in
the place except in pocket
flasks that only saw light
in bathroom stalls and
on the way.
My second problem was a prayer
a good, hearty prayer
which threatened my salad and
made the lettuce taste bitter and old
like a spent radish discarded
for its demeanor. But I continued
eating through it, and flashed
my teeth like a dog.
And yeah, hell yeah, I understand
that it's supposed to be the
big guy's b-day and all,
even though the date is five
months off by biblical accounts, and
yes, hell yes, I understand that
christmas is supposed to be about
the christ and whatnot, that big
passive-aggressive guy in the sky
who doesn't seem to give a lick about
the little people downstairs
but Jesus!
What kind of asshole needs people to thank
Him Him Him for food
that a catering service cooked
for nigh minimum wage while
some of their children starve and
brothers and sisters hook for crack
or blow up
making meth or
getting shot and raped or
molested?
But really, what really pissed me off
really
was that it lasted so long and
by the time it was done
so was my buzz
from the way over.
If I were Jesus, I'd rather be drank to.
That's a religion I could practice
and perfect.