so i wrote this poem about my life

[PROJECT PAT]

so last night i got invited to this party,
and i thought it would be fun.
i was actually pretty excited because this place is never any fun.
so i rode like 20 minutes to this campground,
and there was a dj and bonfire and all that cool stuff.
anyway even though this place was out in the middle of nowhere
the cops showed up after i had been there less than an hour.
i'm not really supposed to get caught drinking.
me and this other kid ended up running through the woods
piss ass drunk
and hiding in a thorn bush.
luckily we managed to make it back to the cars and get back to town
where i stumbled home drunk, ate a cookie,
and threw up in my flower garden.

it was kind of a lame night.
i did find my library card though
so i payed off my modest $3 fine
then i checked out the winter of our discontent
how do you like walden?
i've never read it
but it's on my list.

[Toothlessjoe]

It reads more like a badly written blog because there isn't really much of a rythm. Perhaps try to work on that, add in some sharper imagery?

[Silverfuck]

The ending is great, now it just needs a poem to fit it.