Say some Chick Wants To Fight me...

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

... well, actually probably kill me if she can. And she's too stupid to know when to back down, and will most likely fight until she either kills me, is killed by me, or is knocked out by me. she's also about 200 odd pounds and an african american "gansta chick".

I really, really do not want homicide, attempted homicide, or assult charges at this time in my life. My question is, since I think the best thing for her would be being unable to fight back at all, whats the best method to quickly induce unconciousness, without actually hurting her too badly, leaving too many marks, while being able to pawn it off as self defense?

The only things I've come up with so far today are mace (which I don't have and don't have money to buy right now), and hitting her fairly hard in the temples, which carries the risk of killing her if I do it too hard.

craaaaaaappppppppparoni :/

[azalie]

Bring a bucket of fried chicken and a lead pipe with you, I think you know where I'm going with this. Act quickly though, one of her homies are probably in the bushes ready to bust a cap in your ass. It's ill-advised that you carry this out during the night, your tv may end up floating away.

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

Bring a bucket of fried chicken and a lead pipe with you, I think you know where I'm going with this. Act quickly though, one of her homies are probably in the bushes ready to bust a cap in your ass. It's ill-advised that you carry this out during the night, your tv may end up floating away.

What TV? I don't even have a TV...

actually, the fried chicken thing gave me a neat idea... all I need now is ome rope, a smallish tree, and a railroad spike...

[azalie]

What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

Oh, that reminds me...

"There once was a girl named Larkie
Who fell in love with a darkie.
The product of her sin
Was quadruplets, not twins.
One white, one black, two kahki."

-Red Ned Lynch, Swasbuckler

But no really, any ideas on knocking her out without hurting her?

[b00m]

This is sad, your worrying about a 200lb female whale. If your to stupid to figure something out for yourself. Just shoot yourself in the head and stop worrying about it.

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

Oh, I forgot to add, if you don't have something constructive/funny to say, then you may kindly keep your grungy little troll paws off my thread.

[b00m]

If your so fucking retarded that you cant figure something that simple out. Like what the fuck dont even post that stupid shit.

[Reptar]

This is sad, your worrying about a 200lb female whale. If your to stupid to figure something out for yourself. Just shoot yourself in the head and stop worrying about it.

Seriously listen to this, op your fucking retarded.

[Mantikore]

just bring something to beat the shit out of her. no need to be ladylike

[Peoples Elmo]

200lbs?
I would just break into a brisk jog,
but if you must knock her out I recommend hitting her, preferably in the head

[NaiveMonarch]

Engage severe ovary punching.

[slayer]

Headlock,punch her in the throat, choke her till she passes out but shes still breathing

[Tokerface]

shes 200lb for fucks sake
run away till shes REALLY tired, then advance and beat the living shit out of her

[Struwwelpeter]

Beat her up, kill her if you have to. Dykes want to act like men they can get killed like men. And most often the police think like I do so they won't try extra hard to convict anyone if they find her corpse. Fuck that bitches privates up.

[el drewto]

bring along a nice, hot cup of coffee and throw it in her face if she comes too close.

[Struwwelpeter]

Throw her a steak soaked in antifreeze.

[psychedelicious]

The rule is: If the other person is a lot bigger, you're allowed to fight dirty. Although, a lot of people fight dirty anyway. So expect it from her/her friends.
Otherwise: a punch to the jaw is a good way to knock her out.

[slayer]

kick her in the kneecaps, then beat the shit out of her

[Trix Are For Kids]

not even a brisk jog required, just take her up a secluded flight of stairs and have an unfortunate accident occur there. Just have your buddy run past in a ski mask and push her down.

[b00m]

This is fucking pathetic, this post is sad as fuck. Cant you see everyone mocking you. I can just hear the people laughing at their computers because of your completely retarded post.

Go get a education and move on with life, your a fucking douche bag.

[RoundElephant]

This is fucking pathetic, this post is sad as fuck. Cant you see everyone mocking you. I can just hear the people laughing at their computers because of your completely retarded post.

Go get a education and move on with life, your a fucking douche bag.

Truth.

[dementedseabass]

Kick that bitch in the uterus.

[Intoxicated Shaman]

What's the back story to this?

Also punch her in the tits, fist right to the areola.

[sexualjesus]

are you a guy, backhand the bitch shell back down, and if she doesnt hit her with a chair and pull her hair to lift her back to her feet

[psycho_8b]

This....

http://aklemai.com/albums/2006_03/CuntPunt_1.jpg

[slayer]

This....

http://aklemai.com/albums/2006_03/CuntPunt_1.jpg

hahahahaha nice. also this



http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e164/flamemaniac/ovariandelight.jpg

if you cant see it.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/headbutt%20to%20the%20ovaries/flamemaniac/ovariandelight.jpg?o=1

[Irukanji]

Baseball bat. You will get a medal for successfully removing one of the enemies baby producing machines.

And you can claim her welfare.

[7i8_Dago]

do a submissive move.

hold her arm in the chicken wing move.

like how the cops use.

NO ONE can resist a submissive move, dont do it too hard to break it off, see youtube for lessons.

make sure to grab her one arm with both your hands btw

[Haiti's Space Agency]

200lbs?
I would just break into a brisk jog,
but if you must knock her out I recommend hitting her, preferably in the head

This made me laugh really hard.

[BATTLESTEER]

What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."

Whats black, white, and rolls off a pier....















A nigger fighting a seagull for a chicken wing

[Bender]

I deal with legit niggers all the times. 90% of the time there all talk. In some cases this is not true. Legally purchase a stun gun. (They are not lethal) Tell her your not looking for a fight but you will defend yourself. You see, gansta ticked our bitches feed on fear and kindness, if you can get just as crazy back at her, shes likely to rethink her actions. Only brandish the stun gun ONLY when your dead set on using it. Go for the neck. 2 seconds she'll be out for 10 minutes.

EDIT

Watch out for the bitches "home boys"

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Bring a knife and just cut her fucking throat when she's not looking.

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

Well, she's too fat to be kicked in the ovaries, and a knife would just inflict fat wounds.

I'm thinking of inventing a mace-stun gun combo...

Two prongs tha shoot out, and they're attatched to a voltage source that is in turn connected to a nice big can of mace.

"it was in self defense, I swears"

[Bender]

Well, she's too fat to be kicked in the ovaries, and a knife would just inflict fat wounds.

I'm thinking of inventing a mace-stun gun combo...

Two prongs tha shoot out, and they're attatched to a voltage source that is in turn connected to a nice big can of mace.

"it was in self defense, I swears"

Yeah, but stun gun's are diffrent there not tazers. Tazers shoot the prongs out and give em the zap zap. Stun gun requires both points to touch to the person. Most can go threw leather, or lard. The mace is a really good idea, beacuse it is a classic self defense weapon. Get a stun gun in stead of tazer beacuse if you purchase one legally they then require you get a license and training. (At least in my state) If use a illegally purchased one in "Self defece." She could play the race card and you could be fucked.

[Darkhunter]

:facepalm:

[ShitSlinger]

Blood choke

[RIPtotse]

quick get some racist skinhead friends

[heroinbob]

Well, she's too fat to be kicked in the ovaries, and a knife would just inflict fat wounds.

I'm thinking of inventing a mace-stun gun combo...

Two prongs tha shoot out, and they're attatched to a voltage source that is in turn connected to a nice big can of mace.

"it was in self defense, I swears"

hahahah

instead of getting a stun gun you should get a tazer baton http://www.taserforce.com/page/91814202

[MySTiiC MaDNeSS]

make pepper spray ok you get an empty spray bottle get rubbing alcohol or water mix it with pepper or hot sauce.and you have pepper spray

[Pringles]

Bring a bucket of fried chicken and a lead pipe with you, I think you know where I'm going with this. Act quickly though, one of her homies are probably in the bushes ready to bust a cap in your ass. It's ill-advised that you carry this out during the night, your tv may end up floating away.

This and bring two taser's or a cattle prod because she is probably a hefty heifer. Here you can buy one: http://www.wholesalemidwest.com/electric_prods.htm
Oh and by killing that bitch you would would just help getting rid of overgrown apes.
And of course this is all hypothetical. :cool:

[a334jv2df]

HAHAHAHA it's real cute how a woman thinks she can kill something by hitting it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JoePedo]

whats the best method to quickly induce unconciousness, without actually hurting her too badly, leaving too many marks, while being able to pawn it off as self defense?

1. Uterus kick.

2. Modified guillotine, or just a hair grab if you're not smart enough to grab under the chin from the top.

3. Elbow to the back of the head - about one inch up from the base of the skull above the brain stem.

4. Goto 3.

...if you actually cave that skull, it's going to be a bitching homocide charge... but if not, you're striking some of the thickest bone in the skull, very hard, over some of the parts of the brain most likely to cause loss of consciousness/motor control.

The modified "chin guillotine" which lets you actually slam the skull takes a bit of practice to pull off (top of head in inside of other elbow...). So... practice until you know wtf it is. It's worth it, and shouldn't take too long.

The greatest risks are murder/homocide from, well, not stopping until you've removed her brain pan... or felony aggravated if luck is not on your side and you actually give her a full-fledged combat hysterectomy instead of just a shitload of pain and cramping to double her over... but if you're lucky enough to avoid those two - brutally-efficient knockout that should leave no medical evidence visible.

[A Clockwork Pumelo]

Blood choke

TOO MUCH FAT.

actually, i'm kind of itching to try out my new can of mace :D

...but only if she hits me first, or pulls out a weapon :rolleyes: