Response, Reaction, Repose.

[Toothlessjoe]

a little drunker, yes, a little more foolish, a bit
less concerned, a lot more sentimental
than sentient, yes, yes, yes,

We don't even taste it anymore, not
feeling nor smelling nor seeing

those days gone awry in the complications of life, we
simply remember, recollect, relive

every day of life
our sorrows staged and sullied
by the present tensity, future imperfect--

It was brought to my attention today that I call
friends brothers, not comrades, not even friends--

what do I even mean in these words that I say?

I'm the self-conscious prick of a thorn long decayed and
pressed gently into a notebook, tossed irreverently
into a box
through which is sorted
after we die and
give our lives

to whom?

I don't know any longer
to whom this allegiance lies, but
I drink, and I swallow, and I
postulate my thesis
alone in this room
fearing death
and causality and listening

to the next best tune.

[chompchompchomsky]

You have an inconsistent tone- sometimes formal, then whimsical, then colloquial, which makes the poem seem a little hokey.
Cool sentiment, though.

[Toothlessjoe]

You have an inconsistent tone- sometimes formal, then whimsical, then colloquial, which makes the poem seem a little hokey.
Cool sentiment, though.

I only just found this reply. Durrrrrrrr.

Yeah, I just kinda like darting in and out of different tones. I tried to match it with how emotions dart around.