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View Full Version : Fucking vending machines

Lysergic Rain
02-03-2009, 06:26 AM
At my university your meal plan comes with a certain number of vending machine points so you can swipe your student ID and get junk food.

Well, here I am. Stoned as shit.

I try to buy some poptarts. Fucking thing beeps and then reads "offline...."
I'm like "shit." So I take out a dollar a try to put it into the machine and its like "fuck you" and that didn't work either.

So I go to another vending machine and try to buy a Gatorade. And fucking all of them say "sold out..." But the machine is like 6 Gatorades and 2 waters. So I'm pissed and I just hit all the fucking buttons without looking at them and they all say "sold out" and then I get to the water with out reaching it and I buy a water. Shit...

Now I really didn't want some bottled water. I have water already. Straight from the tap. So I go to another vending machine to buy a soda. I wanted something caffeine free so I can get some sleep tonight. There are only two caffeine free sodas in the machine and the rows are side by side. D4 and D5. The thing with D5 is that the soda was one spot back. So it would move forward and you would get nothing. So I press D4. I press fucking D4, and then fucking D5 moves and get no soda.

So I spent like $3 and all the vending machines said "fuck you" and now I'm drinking fucking water.


shit.
THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMNIT
02-03-2009, 06:43 AM
I'de at least attempt to destroy the machines. Holding in that much anger isnt healthy
pill popper
02-03-2009, 06:54 AM
I'de at least attempt to destroy the machines. Holding in that much anger isnt healthy

This

get a crowbar and fuck the machines up
Cliche Guevara
02-03-2009, 06:54 AM
Where exactly do you stick you stick your dick in?
Lysergic Rain
02-03-2009, 07:02 AM
you fuckers are right

I'm going to go fuck these vending machines up. They're asking for it
THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMNIT
02-03-2009, 07:19 AM
Damn right! They're laughing at you, go and kill those motherfuckers :mad:
Agent 008
02-03-2009, 07:26 AM
They are standing there, mocking you.
Borat
02-03-2009, 07:30 AM
You're going to fuck them up? Sounds like some serious "bidniz" is happening at West State University.
Agent 008
02-03-2009, 07:35 AM
You're going to fuck them up? Sounds like some serious "bidniz" is happening at West State University.

No shit nigga.
Borat
02-03-2009, 07:37 AM
West State University is good place. They just need to fix up their vending machines.
LSA King
02-03-2009, 11:22 AM
What always fucks me up is them old school vending machines that go up to 10 or past in number. I fucking always hit "1 + 0" and end up getting fucking 1 instead of 10 :mad: goddamn it that shit is so fucking anonying. We have 1 snack machine 4 coke machines in my barracks and that shit is alway sold the fuck out. Its only refilled like once a week. WTF there are 200+ people that live there you fucking tards come both monday and friday not just every monday :mad:
Agent 008
02-03-2009, 03:23 PM
What always fucks me up is them old school vending machines that go up to 10 or past in number. I fucking always hit "1 + 0" and end up getting fucking 1 instead of 10 :mad: goddamn it that shit is so fucking anonying. We have 1 snack machine 4 coke machines in my barracks and that shit is alway sold the fuck out. Its only refilled like once a week. WTF there are 200+ people that live there you fucking tards come both monday and friday not just every monday :mad:

If the vending machine is old enough, you may be able to change the price / get cashback.

Try 4 2 3 1, and see what sorts of options are unlocked.

If any are locked, and happen to ask you for a key, try 4 2 3 1 again.
Fetus-Smasher
02-03-2009, 05:22 PM
Don't resort to violence. Try touching the machine, maybe some 4play, tickle it. If that doesn't work (just like its a woman) just beat the shit outa it till you get what you want.
Duelist
02-03-2009, 07:49 PM
The thing with D5 is that the soda was one spot back. So it would move forward and you would get nothing. So I press D4. I press fucking D4, and then fucking D5 moves and get no soda.


shit.


you sunk my battleship
Shaggy
02-03-2009, 08:03 PM
And here I thought I was actually going to see some fornication involving snack foods...
sabian
02-03-2009, 08:13 PM
hahaha
remember that asshole who fucked his toaster?
ahahahaha
OneSadisticFucker
02-03-2009, 09:13 PM
I hate vending machines, they always rip you off, and half the time the shit in them is out of date.

I hope you fuck them up good.
Th0r
02-03-2009, 09:19 PM
Firstly where I live vending machines are shit. When I go to a vending machine do I want to buy an overpriced Banana, or a bottle of Water? Obviously not.

Also Gatorade is shit.