Help me destroy a car

[Dremack]

Hello all !

I have a fucking ass-hole prick shit Uncle that has done nothing but rage and yell at everything (including his own family) his whole life. He treats people with shit and we only go to his house sometimes on Christmas or once in a while.

Today, this angry diabetic shit clown insulted my mother when she went to give a present for his daughters birthday. He started raging and how no-one invited her, told her to get the fuck out, etc....


Seriously?????? Who the fuck does that? My mom started crying for a short while.

I was literally gonna go to this pricks house and beat the shit out of his face in front of his whole family and probably baseball bat the shit out of his car windows. But my mother stopped me

Can any one please help me get some revenge on this mother fucker?

I heard Linseed Oil will destroy a car engine. How much of it do i have to put in it? And what else would work?

I was also thinking spray painting and ruining the paint job on a late Halloween night. Please share whatever you guys have. This prick will suffer bad.

[33% God]

Crush up a light bulb to powder in a towel.

Place powder all along windshield wipers.

[Femme Fatale]

If it's winter time, break the heating, and the windows.
Steal the drivers seat/steering wheel,
lock the doors somehow, make them un-openable.

[Acacia]

Get a funnel and pour sand into his gas tank.

[Dremack]

Crush up a light bulb to powder in a towel.

Place powder all along windshield wipers.


oh yeah, I heard about that one. Will that make them unresponsive and shut down completely?

I actually would like to do more of that. actually much more. I know Halloween is gonna be the best night because I'll be wearing a mask, so even if he does look out the window of his driveway, He won't know it's me.

[Lurker_Man]

Put bricks under the axles. Remove wheels. Leave him with 1 wheel on his hood for the lulz.

[Dremack]

If it's winter time, break the heating, and the windows.
Steal the drivers seat/steering wheel,
lock the doors somehow, make them un-openable.

ahahahah. awesome joke FillYourHead :D , unless you're actually serious? rofl

I don't know much about cars, where would the heating be located?

I just want to do as much as damage as i possibly can. It's almost winter as well (yesterday was 40 degrees !)

more ideas guys.

I'll probably have pics of this If i bring my digital camera

[Chris Hansen]

Dude easy solution. 2 Litres of water in the gas tank. also if that doesnt work caulk his doors shut or glue down the wiper blades so when it starts to rain he cant see. there was a thread like this just a few days ago.

[Dremack]

Put bricks under the axles. Remove wheels. Leave him with 1 wheel on his hood for the lulz.

ROFL

this might actually be a sweet thing to pull of.

but apparently, I'm horrible with car knowledge and don't know wtf or where the fuck the axles are located O_O


edit: does any one know how to puncture a tire easily? What materials would i need?

[Lurker_Man]

Sugar in the gas tank.
Mortar in the exhaust.

[Femme Fatale]

ahahahah. awesome joke FillYourHead :D , unless you're actually serious? rofl

I don't know much about cars, where would the heating be located?

I just want to do as much as damage as i possibly can. It's almost winter as well (yesterday was 40 degrees !)

more ideas guys.

I'll probably have pics of this If i bring my digital camera

Well those were my most unrealistic ideas I suppose, I sort of assumed you could get a hold of his keys somehow, or just be willing to break a window and get into the car. A few were jokes, but could easily be serious hehe.
Oh you could also deflate his tires, and slide rocks or other hard objects into them, then inflate them, so when he drives it makes a horribly loud sound, like a mallet hitting a metal plate. (I saw that on the Totsepedia)

[Maddo]

The best stuff is the most subtle stuff, like placing glass in the wipers so it scratches the fuck out of his windscreen etc.

Or you could just go all out and cut his breaks...

[shopping cart for brains]

ROFL

this might actually be a sweet thing to pull of.

but apparently, I'm horrible with car knowledge and don't know wtf or where the fuck the axles are located O_O


edit: does any one know how to puncture a tire easily? What materials would i need?

Do you seriously not know where axles are?

Are you aware of this invention we normal people call a knife?

[33% God]

oh yeah, I heard about that one. Will that make them unresponsive and shut down completely?

I actually would like to do more of that. actually much more. I know Halloween is gonna be the best night because I'll be wearing a mask, so even if he does look out the window of his driveway, He won't know it's me.

No,he'll turn on the wipers and it'll cut the fuck out of his windshield.

[Dremack]

also about the sugar and water thingy

does it really work? I think i read 20 min ( i think it might have been these forums) that some pro dude told people to mix 1/3 water, 1/3 dish soap detergent, and 1/3 sugar.... let it dissolve and it would wreck it pretty bad.

other people are saying sugar won't do squat, water won't do squat, etc... that's why i was gonna go to Lowes and purchase a gallon or 2 of boiled linseed oil just to improve the overall success

[944]

ROFL



edit: does any one know how to puncture a tire easily? What materials would i need?

:facepalm::facepalm:

I'm gonna say....troll

...but a sharp knife

[Kwinnie Bogan]

This thread is hilarious. You guys have no fucking idea. It's like watching a blindman fumble around in a pantry.

[Dremack]

:facepalm::facepalm:

I'm gonna say....troll

...but a sharp knife


Not a troll, but just making sure. How would a sharp knife cut the tire tho? Wouldn't it just bend or break with pressure?

don't you need some special kind of stuff to puncture them? I think i read that somewhere

serious answers plz, anything that will coast about 3-4 thousand dollar or more in damages, just through the gas tank and maybe the light bulb powder thingy that 313 said before

[Paco]

This thread is hilarious. You guys have no fucking idea. It's like watching a blindman fumble around in a pantry.

My Troll Senses are Tingling.

[Kwinnie Bogan]

My Troll Senses are Tingling.

:facepalm:

[Maddo]

This thread is hilarious. You guys have no fucking idea. It's like watching a blindman fumble around in a pantry.

A pantry full of broken glass and mouse traps.

[Kwinnie Bogan]

I giggled.

[944]

Not a troll, but just making sure. How would a sharp knife cut the tire tho? Wouldn't it just bend or break with pressure?

don't you need some special kind of stuff to puncture them? I think i read that somewhere

serious answers plz, anything that will coast about 3-4 thousand dollar or more in damages, just through the gas tank and maybe the light bulb powder thingy that 313 said before

A good knife with a "tanto" tip (see pic) will have no problem going through the side of a tire. These knives are designed to go through body armer


http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/08/71/71/16/0008717116725_500X500.jpg

If you wanna do the most damage, just set it on fire

[Lurker_Man]

Not a troll, but just making sure. How would a sharp knife cut the tire tho? Wouldn't it just bend or break with pressure?

don't you need some special kind of stuff to puncture them? I think i read that somewhere

serious answers plz, anything that will coast about 3-4 thousand dollar or more in damages, just through the gas tank and maybe the light bulb powder thingy that 313 said before

Get a sharp knife and stab the side of the tyre.

Ps you shouldn't be looking and destorying his car since he can just claim on his insurance.
What you want to do is just cause enough damage to make his life shitty.

The light bulb on the wipers.
Paint over the lights.
Slash his tyres.
Smash the window on the drivers side.
Put a small amount of morter in the exhaust. It should make it make a gay sound if done correctly.

[Lurker_Man]

Oh also sandpaper his paint job.

[Syphilis]

Want to know what to do? Pour petrol over the car and light it up. Smash a window and pour some inside, too. Simple and effective.

[944]

Oh also sandpaper his paint job.

Or, just dump some brake fluid on it. Must be Dot3 Dot4 or Dot5.1, Dot5 wont do shit

[lethargic]

I think subtlety is the way to go. You don't want him to notice anything's been done to his car until he tries to turn it on or maybe even long after that. Sugar, sand, whatever in the gas tank is a pretty good idea. The lightbulb shards on his windshield wipers are even better. He could go weeks without noticing that one and then one day he'll hit his windshield wipers and fuck up his windshield.

I'm also surprised that nobody's mentioned cutting his brake lines. There's always the possibility that he could crash and die a horrible fiery death. :)

In the end, you should be careful because you probably want to keep suspicion off of you in case the police get involved. This is another advantage of doing something subtle to his car. By the time he calls the cops it's too late for them to figure anything out.

[Konglomo]

Make some thermite, place down the center of his car, get some magnesium and set that shit on fire.

[Maddo]

I think subtlety is the way to go. You don't want him to notice anything's been done to his car until he tries to turn it on or maybe even long after that. Sugar, sand, whatever in the gas tank is a pretty good idea. The lightbulb shards on his windshield wipers are even better. He could go weeks without noticing that one and then one day he'll hit his windshield wipers and fuck up his windshield.

I'm also surprised that nobody's mentioned cutting his brake lines. There's always the possibility that he could crash and die a horrible fiery death. :)

In the end, you should be careful because you probably want to keep suspicion off of you in case the police get involved. This is another advantage of doing something subtle to his car. By the time he calls the cops it's too late for them to figure anything out.

Ahem..

The best stuff is the most subtle stuff, like placing glass in the wipers so it scratches the fuck out of his windscreen etc.

Or you could just go all out and cut his breaks...

[lethargic]

Ahem..

Meh.

[Dremack]

I think subtlety is the way to go. You don't want him to notice anything's been done to his car until he tries to turn it on or maybe even long after that. Sugar, sand, whatever in the gas tank is a pretty good idea. The lightbulb shards on his windshield wipers is even better idea. He could go weeks without noticing that one and then one day he'll hit his windshield wipers and fuck up his windshield.

I'm also surprised that nobody's mentioned cutting his brake lines. There's always the possibility that he could crash and die a horrible fiery death. :)

In the end, you should be careful because you probably want to keep suspicion off of you in case the police get involved. This is another advantage of doing something subtle to his car. By the time he calls the cops it's too late for them to figure anything out.


good reasonable answer. I think I'll ninja-rape his Dodge Caravan slowly and internally without suspicion then. I'll skip the graffetti paint and the slashing tires part, since it would kinda be too suspicious that only his car got attacked. And I'm horrible when it comes to talking to the police :O

how do i cut off his brake lines? do i have to go under the car or sth?

I'm looking for the fastest complicated-free way to do this.

so far.... the easiest for me are:

-put either water or boiled linseed oil in the gas tank
- smash bulb to pieces and put that powder on windshield pipers
- put morter in exhaust (what is this stuff and what will it do?)

I'll also see if i can get paint and Merry Christmas the shit out of his headlights and his front side window. (This has got to be a spine chilling moment when done in the winter time)

and what do you guys mean about the sandpaper on his paint job? What is sand paper and what does it do?

Would like to know the coast of sand paper, morter and linseed oil. Any one know how much this stuff is gonna ring up? I don't wanna pay more than 25 bucks tho.

edit: I'm tired and sleepy. catch you guys tomorrow if more posts start coming in !

[Lurker_Man]

Mortar is the stuff builders use when they are building a house.
That stuff which goes between the bricks.

If you block it off it will stop emisions leaving the car resulting in it stalling after awhile. (I think)

[Lurker_Man]

Mortar is the stuff builders use when they are building a house.
That stuff which goes between the bricks.

If you block it off it will stop emisions leaving the car resulting in it stalling after awhile. (I think)

[Pringles]

This good stuff to do to people you hate on Halloween. I can't wait till then.
Bologna and mustard. Get mustard put it on a slice of bologna and put on the paint of the car. Paint should get fucked up by morning.

[DrGoogfan]

Hello all !

I have a fucking ass-hole prick shit Uncle that has done nothing but rage and yell at everything (including his own family) his whole life. He treats people with shit and we only go to his house sometimes on Christmas or once in a while.

Today, this angry diabetic shit clown insulted my mother when she went to give a present for his daughters birthday. He started raging and how no-one invited her, told her to get the fuck out, etc....


Seriously?????? Who the fuck does that? My mom started crying for a short while.

I was literally gonna go to this pricks house and beat the shit out of his face in front of his whole family and probably baseball bat the shit out of his car windows. But my mother stopped me

Can any one please help me get some revenge on this mother fucker?

I heard Linseed Oil will destroy a car engine. How much of it do i have to put in it? And what else would work?

I was also thinking spray painting and ruining the paint job on a late Halloween night. Please share whatever you guys have. This prick will suffer bad.

thermite

it will melt rite trhough the engine block. you can get it here (https://unitednuclear.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=16_17_69&products_id=208)

rdCsbZf1_Ng

[hysterics]

break of one his windows then chuck a gallon of paint all over his interior

http://cache.jalopnik.com/cars/images/bmw_revenge_2.jpg

[skyclaw441]

Get creative with this shit. I have 20 ways here.

1. Pour AB polyurethane foam in his car. Hard as a rock when it dries and foams like mad
2. Pour large amounts of horse jizz in the gas tank
3. When all else fails, brick to the windshield
4. Depending on where you live, you can drive it into different things, if you live in an area so inclined, put a brick on the gas and send it off a cliff after easing it into drive
5. Smear sticky stuff all over the interior
6. Paint the entire interior hot pink
7. Fill it with water after rolling down a window enough to let a hose in. Then let the water damage take effect
8. Hide a small fish in a vent if you can take out the face to it. Man, that car will stink.
9. Loosen the axles so the wheels might roll off any minute
10. Pour cement in the car
11. Pour cement in the gas tank
12. Pour Bondo in the gas tank
13. Pour cement all over the engine block
14. If you're good at chemistry, make a highly flammable substance with a low flash point and coat his engine block with it. With any luck, the engine block will combust.
15. If you're good at chemistry, make thermite, light it, and melt through the fucker's engine block
16. Paint a giant dildo on the side of the car
17. Cut and fuck with random shit in the engine when all else fails
18. Set it on fire (my jock classmates tried to do this to my friend's car after putting soap on the windshield, but they were retarded at put the soap on first which protected the car from ignition)
19. Put a radioactive substance in the car, although this will probably kill your uncle and not the car. But boy, that's one hot rod.
20. When all else fails, just fuck it up with blunt force.

[DrGoogfan]

Get creative with this shit. I have 20 ways here.

1. Pour AB polyurethane foam in his car. Hard as a rock when it dries and foams like mad


lemme guess. mythbusters

[Paco]

This good stuff to do to people you hate on Halloween. I can't wait till then.
Bologna and mustard. Get mustard put it on a slice of bologna and put on the paint of the car. Paint should get fucked up by morning.

fuck yea, i thought i was the only one who did this :thumbsup:

[imawolfrawr]

Fox urine in his vents if it's cold enough for the heater.

if it's hot as fuck and he rolls his windows up at night get a syringe and fill it with fox urine, poke the syringe through the weather stripping around the window and squirt. By the time he gets in his car it should smell fucking horrible and the only way to get it out is new upholstery

[skyclaw441]

lemme guess. mythbusters

You'd be correct. But it works, amirite?

[imawolfrawr]

or just rape him with a strap on that way it's just sodomy and not incest if your a moralfag.

[DrGoogfan]

You'd be correct. But it works, amirite?

youarerite

[slm33d]

Metal filings in the tank.
Bi carb soda in the tank
Cut the brake lines.
Pour brake fluid all over the car.

[SHANE14]

wait, he doesn't know what sand paper and no one has caught on?

[OmmEGGA]

If you want him to be stranded somewhere along the road, you can add about 5-6 cups of water in to his gas tank.This will let him drive few miles and then his car will start to struggle to run. Horrible misfires on all cylinder and gas pump will go out 90% of the time. If you absolutely want to destroy the engine, add sand in to the oil crank case (where you add oil in to the engine) I don't even wanna know the damage caused by it. If you want him to get killed or injured, cut the brake lines.

[lethargic]

wait, he doesn't know what sand paper and no one has caught on?

Maybe he's one of those kids that failed shop class. :p

If you want him to be stranded somewhere along the road, you can add about 5-6 cups of water in to his gas tank.This will let him drive few miles and then his car will start to struggle to run. Horrible misfires on all cylinder and gas pump will go out 90% of the time. If you absolutely want to destroy the engine, add sand in to the oil crank (where you add oil in to the engine) I don't even wanna know the damage caused by it.

Heheh...

[Yodabutter]

wait, he doesn't know what sand paper and no one has caught on?

This is what I was thinking. And I hope OP wasn't being serious about not knowing how to slit a tire... its kinda common sense.

One thing that wouldnt hurt him or cause much damage: break the door handles off. My drivers side door handle broke off one time and its a real pain in the ass.

[Guywhorocksyou]

Well depends on how much time OP has for this endeavor. I think if you had the time you could take all the wheels off the axels and just drop the car on the pavement when your done, after that make a hole in the gas tank so he loses all his fuel, after which you light the sob on fire and run like fuck, and now save those wheels. So the next time he does some stupid shit burn one on his lawn.

Now if you have little to no time just key the shit out of it, every pannel etc, spray paint, pour sugar in the tank, just cut shit man

[ratfrink]

Do you have the keys? Otherwise you probably won't be able to get into the gas filler without using a crowbar to open the lid, and then if the cap is locking you'll need to chisel it off or something.

If you don't have the keys, wedge a nail between the tyre and the ground. When he drives off, nail goes in, tyre very slowly goes down. Not expensive to fix a puncture but it's a pain in the arse if you do it several times.

If you do have the keys, open the bonnet and pour a handful of the finest sand you can find into the oil filler. It'll wear the engine out really quickly. You could also take a spark plug out and pour a glass of water into the cylinder, which could quite easily ruin his engine. But seeing as you apparently don't know what sandpaper is, then I doubt you'll be able to do this.

[Dumpster Slut]

sugar in the gastank

[adrien]

pop his hood and try and find the reservoir for the brake fluid. suck anything in there up with a plastic syringe and fill 'er up with some acetone or a strong solvent

bai bai braking power

[Syphilis]

Just torching it would be cheaper, easier, faster, and more effective than anything else that has been said. Really.

[Pringles]

Molotov everything. This should be the Halloween Night to do list.

[LavaRed]

Brick through the windshield? you do know what a brick is, right?
if not:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brick

[ratfrink]

pop his hood and try and find the reservoir for the brake fluid. suck anything in there up with a plastic syringe and fill 'er up with some acetone or a strong solvent

bai bai braking power

It would be easier to cut a flexi-hose or undo a bleed nipple. No need to have the keys to get under the bonnet (hood).

Cutting the brakes would be annoying but little else - it's not as if you take your car out of the garage, then immediately do 100mph. Most people will brake at the end of the driveway going at about 5mph, and if the brakes fail then you can just pull the handbrake. Hell I've driven around town with only the handbrake working (only once, and it was terrifying, but you can do it without crashing)

[not me]

Put di-hydrogen oxide in the radiator. Lulz ensues ! ;-]

[SLOWPOKE]

When it's a really frosty night and cold get some kiddy porn, stick it to the car and throw cold water over it. It'll freeze the kiddy porn to the car over night. Anyone sees that shit on his car is gonna trash it to fuck anyway. Plus if you fail in that at least you got to piss him off and know he's hated. If you can get hi-resolution cp then good on you and tell me where because kazaa and iMesh certainly haven't got hq.

[Doctor]

It's a troll you idiots.

[not me]

It's a troll you idiots.

And you're a Mud DoctorFarmer

[SLOWPOKE]

This guy is fucking trolling guys. You fucking idiots.

[Syphilis]

Locking this thread. It really shouldn't take 62 posts to tell somebody how to destroy a car.

Answer: fire.