BioMedical DIY

[Thor2axe]

So my father has a small tumor on his hand. I say small, because I have seen bigger. But it is at least the same width of his finger, just hanging off.

We think it is benign, as it has shown slow growth and fairly uniform growth. But none the less it is not a pleasant sight to see, and he wants it removed. We cant afford professional work, and he cant bring himself to do it alone, or stay still and let someone else do it.

Does anyone know of any anesthetics we could use so that he just cant feel it? Or are we going about this the wrong way, and you have another suggestion?

[kfc v lot]

Heroin + scalpel!

[MunkeyQ]

I'm going to move this to Carved Outta Wood as it seems a bit more appropriate there...more human body stuff.

[Thor2axe]

That does seem more apropriate, now that I think of it.

Im also open to illegal substances, though I'm trying to stay away from more 'hardcore' drugs, like heroin, or even morphine.

[HLC]

...So my father has a small tumor on his hand. I say small, because I have seen bigger. But it is at least the same width of his finger, just hanging off.

We think it is benign ... We cant afford professional work, and he cant bring himself to do it alone, or stay still and let someone else do it.

Does anyone know of any anesthetics we could use so that he just cant feel it? Or are we going about this the wrong way, and you have another suggestion?

Professionals would probably numb it by injecting Lidocaine, which is a cousin of Novocaine (working teeth) and Cocaine (working girls).

You should have antibiotics on board to ward off infection from the cutting procedure.
Plus antibiotics for the next few days of healing.

There's a very good chance the "tumor" is vascularized.
With possibly more blood vessels per square inch than skin.
So it may bleed like a motherfucker when you cut into it.
You need to be ready to sew it up fast, or better yet, cauterize it (sear the blood vessels shut with hot metal, like a heated (glowing) knife blade.
Of course, procuring a proper suture kit or medical cauterizing device is the best route.

If you have to sew or cauterize, you're gonna need some longer acting pain medication, like percocet / oxycodone.
I think, if one tolerates opiates well, Morphine is a good choice here.
But if you get street drugs, proper dosing is iffy.

Now if this all goes bad, you may end up with an enormous emergency room bill and possibly a scar that's ugly as hell, or in the worse case, an infection that results in some major cutting and wound care. (much more $$$$).
And what if it is cancerous?

You're basically trying to accomplish surgery like it was the year 1400, and your results may come out similar.

[Thor2axe]

That's pretty much my thoughts on the situation, but he will have none of it. Also, to help prove my point, can anyone link me to information on cancerous cells. Mostly, he doesnt understand that even if you cut it off, it will come back. Every time.

[Carbonbased]

Hummm
Id say local painkillers introduced with a 30 gauge needle, Lidocaine + epeiniferin to slow bleeding. Then take a #11 scalpel to it and there a ya are, place gauze on the site and wrap somewhat tightly to prevent bleeding, change bandage every 4 hours for the first day or when bandages become soiled with fluid. I'm not sure if antibiotics are really needed for this operation because the wounds site sounds like it will be small and you can probably get away with using a topical antibiotic, but if you want to play it safe, try these! (http://www.allivet.com/Fish-Antibiotics-s/162.htm) (I call them the no insurance Saturday night special ;))

[negz]

Anyone else remember that DIY medical procedures thread by that guy on Totse? His father taught him everything from slitting throats in case of allergic swelling to allow breathing, to cauterization, to what to do in the case of a torn open ball sack.

[Carbonbased]

what to do in the case of a torn open ball sack.
I remember that procedure, its called bullet to the brain;)

[ComradeAsh]

Bad idea, you won't be able to suture it properly and it'll scar really badly if not become infected and fucking painful.

[Irukanji]

I remember that procedure, its called bullet to the brain;)

Just....um....get a balloon and but the long bit off :)

Or O.D on heroin/murder/suicide(O.D after, not before, duh...)

[beergoggles]

This should have been moved to Bad Ideas...

But if you're serious maybe knock him out with some Xanax, and then give him oxy/morphine for pain. Just be careful with mixing the two drugs as this can cause some breathing problems.

But, like everyone else posting in this thread, we are not good medical advice. Go see a PROFESSIONAL!

:facepalm:

[Irukanji]

Xray...see if it has spread, assuming it is infact a cancerous growth, and not a boil, etc.

[The English Gentleman]

HTC very good, are you a med student? The only thing I would add is the obvious point that simple things such as a clean operating area, using a bromine or iodide solution on the area you will operate will dramatically reduce the chance of infection. Small things like this and PROPERLY sterile latex gloves will dramatically reduce the risk of complications.

[13579]

Anyone else remember that DIY medical procedures thread by that guy on Totse? His father taught him everything from slitting throats in case of allergic swelling to allow breathing, to cauterization, to what to do in the case of a torn open ball sack.

The Mighty Goat is who I think you're thinking of.

He cut/soldered a mole off his foot or something, tons of bleeding :P

His latest post before totse went down was him cutting chunks of his mouth out to make room for his wisdom teeth, the pictures were amazing.