ZeroMalarki
02-10-2009, 02:50 AM
Fuck! Why do we do it. I know there's the reason "We're too busy trying to make a good impression that we focus on that rather than remembering". But still.. Curse our inability to remember the names of the most beautiful members of the opposite sex.
Tonight, I was out at a club with a few friends and this beautiful girl and her friend sat down beside us. My friends and I (two of them taken guys and two girls) sat and chatted some shit whilst these teenagers in drag came up and chatted to this gorgeous girl. Meanwhile the girl gives me the eyes. I play cool as if I'm the most pimping motherfucker you ever did meet, pouring myself glasses of champagne from a bottle of free plonk I won at the bar, meanwhile acting like stand up comedian of the year and making more laughs than you've had warm baths.
Finally the kids in drag leave and I move in, talking to her friend first and getting them to join our group. Then I talk to the girl and she pats the seat beside her, I play hard to get for a second then when I see she really wants me to, sit down. We chat, from what we're doing to music. She's really into David Bowie. I speak honestly with a slight sugarcoating telling her I only got into Bowie when I smoked something funny with an old hippy. She laughs saying that Bowie doesn't need that. I tell her the herb just enhances the music, quote a little Bill Hicks and she tells me she wishes everyone thought like that. We kiss and her friend drags her home. She tells me her name one last time and demands she adds me to facebook.
In my drunk happy and horny state I thought this was the ticket. A blue eyed, brilliantly breasted brunette that liked the blunt. So much alliteration that it had to be right. And I don't think I remember her name right. Linda? Louise? Lauren? Bills? Mills? Dirty little thrills? Fuck knows.
Maybe I'll find it out another time. Maybe I'll make up another rhyme, cover myself in slime and punch motherfuckers like I'm back in my prime. Put you to your grave, ask your friend Dave whos gonna make you the slave, chain round your throat, hung by the scroat, then I'll use your tongue to paint my boat. I'm listening to the wu-tang clan, freestyling falls into the plan. Whos the drunk whos spick and span?
TLDR: I'm fucked, and laughing at the fumblings of a drunken mind. Join me and think of all those people you called the wrong name, or just forgot the name of and were turned off or just got completely turned away from you. Then just laugh about it, or hope whilst getting on with things. Here's to the tit wank you may never receive *raises a glass of water in aid of sobering up*
Tonight, I was out at a club with a few friends and this beautiful girl and her friend sat down beside us. My friends and I (two of them taken guys and two girls) sat and chatted some shit whilst these teenagers in drag came up and chatted to this gorgeous girl. Meanwhile the girl gives me the eyes. I play cool as if I'm the most pimping motherfucker you ever did meet, pouring myself glasses of champagne from a bottle of free plonk I won at the bar, meanwhile acting like stand up comedian of the year and making more laughs than you've had warm baths.
Finally the kids in drag leave and I move in, talking to her friend first and getting them to join our group. Then I talk to the girl and she pats the seat beside her, I play hard to get for a second then when I see she really wants me to, sit down. We chat, from what we're doing to music. She's really into David Bowie. I speak honestly with a slight sugarcoating telling her I only got into Bowie when I smoked something funny with an old hippy. She laughs saying that Bowie doesn't need that. I tell her the herb just enhances the music, quote a little Bill Hicks and she tells me she wishes everyone thought like that. We kiss and her friend drags her home. She tells me her name one last time and demands she adds me to facebook.
In my drunk happy and horny state I thought this was the ticket. A blue eyed, brilliantly breasted brunette that liked the blunt. So much alliteration that it had to be right. And I don't think I remember her name right. Linda? Louise? Lauren? Bills? Mills? Dirty little thrills? Fuck knows.
Maybe I'll find it out another time. Maybe I'll make up another rhyme, cover myself in slime and punch motherfuckers like I'm back in my prime. Put you to your grave, ask your friend Dave whos gonna make you the slave, chain round your throat, hung by the scroat, then I'll use your tongue to paint my boat. I'm listening to the wu-tang clan, freestyling falls into the plan. Whos the drunk whos spick and span?
TLDR: I'm fucked, and laughing at the fumblings of a drunken mind. Join me and think of all those people you called the wrong name, or just forgot the name of and were turned off or just got completely turned away from you. Then just laugh about it, or hope whilst getting on with things. Here's to the tit wank you may never receive *raises a glass of water in aid of sobering up*