My idea for the best pension scheme ever (borrowed from someone at work):
So, I take a one off payment of £100.
In return, you get a hand gun and four bullets. Once you turn 65, you are permitted to gun down two MPs, and two senior members of the government currently in place.
You will then be given a room (which may or may not be shared), hot water, heating, three meals a day, all the books you can read, and the chance to study, work out, or play team sports. You will also be exempt from paying council tax, have no need for money and, the only downside, your freedoms will be taken away; still, that doesn't matter all that much since you'll be too old to actually go on holiday anyway; also, most of the people your own age you knew will probably already be dead by now, so no biggie.
Certainly beats the pension scheme I was offered the other day, anyway.
All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason -- Immanuel Kant