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  #1  
Old 01-15-2011, 04:43 PM
MetaThink18 MetaThink18 is offline
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Default Best fuck you've ever had

Alright I have two.

First one was with this dude who had a cute face and body, nerdy (but I really like that) and had a really dark sense of humor. But what a kinky motherfucker. He was down to do anything and he definitely pushed my sexual limits. His dick was just the right size (not too big and not too small). I'm not too crazy about giving head but DAMN did I love blowing him. We wanted to tape ourselves doing it a couple of times, but because of possible implications we decided to record ourselves fucking instead. I swear even when I listen to it now (titled Devil's Trill on my iPod, in honor of Tartini's sonata) I get super wet.

The second one was with another girl. Now, I'd made it out with a couple of girls before her, but when she visited a couple of our mutual friends this past summer we talked and hit it off. I thought she was cool and kinda felt like she was hitting on me, but figured she was being friendly. This was at this house party that my friends were hosting. After some drinks and some weed we headed down to the basement to this smaller room with a cot where my friends and I used to blaze in high school. So we proceeded to talk and blaze some more and when I left to get a beer I came back and when I opened the door I slipped on something and landed on top of her. Well...we started making out, humping, and then fucking. I see her around at school a lot and SHIT it is awkward. But fuck was that good. First and only girl I've fucked but I don't regret and would do it again.

How about you all??
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  #2  
Old 01-15-2011, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

We're gonna need to hear that recording.
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Old 01-15-2011, 04:47 PM
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Arrow Re: Best fuck you've ever had

No one here has ever been fucked before.

Any story below this line is a complete fabrication from a virgin
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  #4  
Old 01-15-2011, 04:51 PM
Charles Manson Charles Manson is offline
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at this time i retract my previous statement. i found better

Last edited by Charles Manson; 03-02-2011 at 03:37 AM.
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  #5  
Old 01-15-2011, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

I got hit in the face by a drunk Persian bitch with a pornstar body love of my life, then we had a 4 some on the floor. the end.
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  #6  
Old 01-15-2011, 06:02 PM
Jubal Harshaw Jubal Harshaw is offline
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Tough question. I guess it's hard because I've had a lot of good sex.

Sex with my ex-girlfriend was pretty out of this world sometimes. Not just because she was the only girl I've ever loved, but we meshed really well in bed and did some kinky stuff. The anal was amazing, so was the deep throat.

One girl really liked getting roughed up, that was always a blast. Leaving bruises, making her cry...

My ex-almost-girlfriend was vanilla as hell but she was so tight and just got really into the whole experience. Sex with her was never bad. We had sex in the parking lot of a bar, once in the woods next to a stream, in front of my fireplace. I wish she was kinky.

That single mom I was banging: she also sucked dick very well. I think the best was the anal though, she would actually orgasm from it. She was kinky too, loved being tied up. I actually had 4 eye-hooks in my floor that I would tie her to. I used a vibrator on her for a good 30 minutes, getting her close to climax and then stopping or tickling her. We had some great times. Too bad she had a kid.

Then there are the girls I met from the Internet who came straight to my apartment to fuck. That was really exciting. I did that with 4 different women, two of which became long-term fucks. There was a fifth that I actually drove to fuck. I don't even know her last name.
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Old 01-15-2011, 06:04 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by PieGirl View Post
I don't know about the best. My ex was really good. He was very sort of intense and slow and caressing and it was wonderful. Turned out to be a freak though.
What do you mean "freak"? Was he creepy or something else...
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Old 01-15-2011, 06:04 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

there was this tight little 12 year old once I was tutoring in junior high when I was in Highschool...

Did more than teach her how to blow her trumpet
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  #9  
Old 01-15-2011, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by pooka View Post
What do you mean "freak"? Was he creepy or something else...
Let's just say he's still trying to get me back even though he dumped me.

in July.

And he's bipolar and all sorts.
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  #10  
Old 01-15-2011, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Something like that scene from American Psycho where Patrick Bateman is having a threesome and he is doing poses and shit in the mirror. Except there was no second chick. Oh, and there was no mirror either. Ah, and we were high as shit... and I wasn't making poses and flexing but I was watching some documentary about space in Discovery Channel that time. I came at the same time they started talking about supernovas.
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  #11  
Old 01-15-2011, 06:57 PM
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Mad Re: Best fuck you've ever had

experienced oldschool totse/ S&A member here (joined 1972)

best sex i ever had was on the bottom of the atlantic ocean, in a hijacked german submarine that had large hydraulic wheels with spinning rims so that i could roll up on the fishy bitches in style while i get my grove on
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Old 01-15-2011, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

All my sex has been mediocre.
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  #13  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:29 AM
The Jitterskull The Jitterskull is offline
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Quote:
Originally Posted by J.P.W View Post
All my sex has been mediocre.
Stop getting mediocre women
(This ISNT your fault by the way, don't think I'm blaming you or anything... no one can actually tell who is good or not)
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  #14  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:53 AM
Jubal Harshaw Jubal Harshaw is offline
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Jitterskull View Post
Stop getting mediocre women
(This ISNT your fault by the way, don't think I'm blaming you or anything... no one can actually tell who is good or not)
It is his fault. Men are in control of what happens during sex. We are responsible to provide an enjoyable experience and perform 90-plus percent of the work.

The only things a woman can do to effect the outcome are as follow: have a tight vagina, perform oral sex well, perform anal sex, make noise, allow you to perform perverted acts on/with her.

Aside from that brief list women have nothing to do with how good the sex is or is not.
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  #15  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:57 AM
The Jitterskull The Jitterskull is offline
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by Jubal Harshaw View Post
It is his fault. Men are in control of what happens during sex. We are responsible to provide an enjoyable experience and perform 90-plus percent of the work.

The only things a woman can do to effect the outcome are as follow: have a tight vagina, perform oral sex well, perform anal sex, make noise, allow you to perform perverted acts on/with her.

Aside from that brief list women have nothing to do with how good the sex is or is not.
Try taking a super loose vagina and making it fun. It just doesn't.

EDIT: What about the women who have NO concept of teeth vs penor?

Last edited by The Jitterskull; 01-16-2011 at 03:00 AM.
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  #16  
Old 01-16-2011, 03:05 AM
Jubal Harshaw Jubal Harshaw is offline
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Jitterskull View Post
Try taking a super loose vagina and making it fun. It just doesn't.

EDIT: What about the women who have NO concept of teeth vs penor?
See, these are things I already listed(I may have missed on or two items, no one is perfect). If her vagina is loose then the sex will lack luster, same with terrible fellatio skills. These are not within the man's control.

However the man can regain control or the girl can make up for these short comings in other areas. These areas include kinkiness and anal. Vagina is grossly over-sized, had 18 kids? Let him put it in your anus.

Your clumsy and your teeth scrape his penis? Just kneel there with your mouth wide open and let him face-fuck you!

The man can regain control by doing things as well. For example, the man can force the woman into a "doggy style" position and put her legs together(the woman can also do this on her own) this will make the vagina seem more narrow.
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Old 01-16-2011, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tunicate View Post
I got hit in the face by a drunk Persian bitch with a pornstar body love of my life, then we had a 4 some on the floor. the end.
More details plz.
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Old 01-16-2011, 11:55 AM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

What is this 'fuck' you guys are talking about? I must say i'm intrigued..
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  #19  
Old 01-16-2011, 12:06 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by Misguided Russian View Post
fishy bitches in style while i get my grove on
Beltaine ftw...
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Old 01-16-2011, 12:15 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

That one where that one thing happened with that person and shit was epic, yeah.
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  #21  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:39 PM
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Exclamation Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by Malice View Post
More details plz.
Not for you.
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  #22  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:41 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Got this bitch's number at the lake last summer. We texted for about 3 days until one day we just start talking to eachother dirty and sending eachother naked pictures. She tells me to come over and fuck her because she is super horny. I do.

To be honest she was the freakiest girl I've ever been with. She was half white half beaner. We got fucked up and fucked twice that night and once the following morning. She's a hot little peice of ass too. Smokes black tar though and lives too far away for me to get involved with her. Only time anything like that has ever happened to me. She loved to taste her own pussy off my cock.

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Old 01-16-2011, 07:52 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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Originally Posted by MetaThink18 View Post
Alright I have two.

First one was with this dude who had a cute face and body, nerdy (but I really like that) and had a really dark sense of humor. But what a kinky motherfucker. He was down to do anything and he definitely pushed my sexual limits. His dick was just the right size (not too big and not too small). I'm not too crazy about giving head but DAMN did I love blowing him. We wanted to tape ourselves doing it a couple of times, but because of possible implications we decided to record ourselves fucking instead. I swear even when I listen to it now (titled Devil's Trill on my iPod, in honor of Tartini's sonata) I get super wet.

The second one was with another girl. Now, I'd made it out with a couple of girls before her, but when she visited a couple of our mutual friends this past summer we talked and hit it off. I thought she was cool and kinda felt like she was hitting on me, but figured she was being friendly. This was at this house party that my friends were hosting. After some drinks and some weed we headed down to the basement to this smaller room with a cot where my friends and I used to blaze in high school. So we proceeded to talk and blaze some more and when I left to get a beer I came back and when I opened the door I slipped on something and landed on top of her. Well...we started making out, humping, and then fucking. I see her around at school a lot and SHIT it is awkward. But fuck was that good. First and only girl I've fucked but I don't regret and would do it again.

How about you all??
So are you a guy or girl? just wondered you sound like a guy but you said you sucked a dick?
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Old 01-16-2011, 07:53 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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So are you a guy or girl? just wondered you sound like a guy but you said you sucked a dick?
she's a girl
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  #25  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:59 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

my best sex isn't really a tale. it was just good sex. it involved ozric tentacles and multiple orgasims. my favorite sex story though was with my first girl friend. i put on a new hope cause i'm the man. it came to the part where han was confronted by greedo, and the moment when han shot greedo i stopped dead, turn around and said " fucking sick" while pointing at the tv. i can't believe she let me finish. nerds should have sex.
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Old 01-16-2011, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

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she's a girl
Ah. So she bi cool.

Anyways the best fuck i ever had was with a dog yeah that little dog fucked like a little freak
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:56 AM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tunicate View Post
Not for you.
It's for everyone.
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Old 01-17-2011, 03:00 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Alright, it was the two of us and our boyfriends at the time. I'd had sex with her boyfriend before they got together (we're still pretty much best friends). Everyone was drunk but me. Generally when people got drunk at my old apartment, someone had sex. It's just the way it goes, I guess. I had an open relationship, and she was supposed to have an open relationship, but my friend had told her that he was kind of uncomfortable with how much she and I liked each other

I had two groups of people I knew at that point- the ones that everyone wanted to be, and of course the wanna bes. These were the ones that everyone wanted to be. Anyway, my boyfriend and I ended up witnessing a fair amount of violence (I like getting hit and choked, but my friend was throwing his girlfriend against the wall). There was some switching off partners, some of us girls making out while we had sex with our respective boyfriends, and then I ate her out while she was getting fucked and sucking my boyfriend off. Nothing special.
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Old 01-17-2011, 03:21 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

Me, my hand, and when I was 12 or something.
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  #30  
Old 01-17-2011, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tunicate View Post
I had two groups of people I knew at that point- the ones that everyone wanted to be, and of course the wanna bes. These were the ones that everyone wanted to be. Anyway, my boyfriend and I ended up witnessing a fair amount of violence (I like getting hit and choked, but my friend was throwing his girlfriend against the wall). There was some switching off partners, some of us girls making out while we had sex with our respective boyfriends, and then I ate her out while she was getting fucked and sucking my boyfriend off. Nothing special.
If it was nothing special then why would you say it's the best you ever had?

Oh wait, you're just being an attention whore, my bad.

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  #31  
Old 01-17-2011, 03:56 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

At 2:34 AM on July 13th, 1979 I took a sip of purple stuff in the privacy of my bathroom. I then pranced in to the living room, ass naked and said "look at me, I'm beautiful." Then I went out the front door and headed down Palm Ave for a jog until I got to Dexter Middle School where I was arrested on the monkey bars for indecent exposure. I was booked at the Los Angeles county jail and drugged and beaten until I lost consciousness. I awoke strapped to a gurney somewhere in the basement of the jail. There where computers all around me and needles in my veins. They gave me a AAA blowjob. I woke up tied to a cactus plant up in the hills somewhere, staring at the stars, moaning and drooling all over myself.
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  #32  
Old 01-17-2011, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by poast-bortem! View Post
If it was nothing special then why would you say it's the best you ever had?

Oh wait, you're just being an attention whore, my bad.
I was being facetious, you unbelievable bore. Why are you so serious all the time?
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Old 01-17-2011, 04:03 PM
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Default Re: Best fuck you've ever had

I used hypnosis on the girl next door... we were both 10 years old at the time. I fucked her mind and her tight cunt, then threw her away like the average zoklet member in LLR throws away a wank tissue. She bet me I couldn't make her do what I wanted but she could me. Oh how I proved her wrong.
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Old 01-17-2011, 04:06 PM
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I was being facetious
You were being a slag.
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  #35  
Old 01-17-2011, 07:25 PM
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Arrow Re: Best fuck you've ever had

After great thought and reading some replies in this thread, I'll guess I'll contribute one that has forever left me blow away.


This takes place this summer, which for the most part was spent in a drunken haze whenever I wasn't working, or didn't HAVE to be sober. After a few weeks of binge drinking, your decision making cappabilities is tragicly altered. This is definetly proof of that. The story begins the night before when me and buddy decided that it would be fun just to drink until the morning light comes up because we had copious amounts of beer. Sadly, we happen to stumble upon some yellow jackets. If you know know what a yellow jacket is, it's basically like drinking 4 monsters on an empty stomach.


So, with the caffiene pumping through our veins, and still hammered, we decided since it's morning time now, that' we'd run a few errands and work on the car. That was pretty much the game plan to keep us awake until night time hit. We were both so desperate for sleep that the hours couldn't pass fast enough, and neither of us wanted to have a screwy sleep schedule.

Even the best laid plans go to hell, and that's just the direction that this night was about to take. We were invited to a garage party at a mutal friends house. There were a good handful of people, and the lack of sleep made getting drunk too easy. Just after a few drinks, I was ready to just about do anything that sounded like a good idea. Such as smoking some pot... I don't smoke pot, and that too, I'm sure altered my decision making skills.

Fast forward a little bit and in comes through the door about 10 girls. Hammered out of their minds with more booze to further the night of possible regrets and mistakes. Now, let me try and paint a picture here. It's summer time, and these girls just came from a 'white trash' party... Meaning, skimpy cut up shorts that their asses were falling out of and shirts that were too small for them... Just oh my gawd! Lucky for me, I happen to know some of them, so I was able to drunkely stumble into certain conversations to get to know the ones I didn't know.


As the party winds down comes to end because of the party holder being butthurt, nobody wanted to stop drinking. And this is where things get hazy and a lot of things happen that I don't understand. As I'm standing outside the garage in the dead of night, double fisting, one of the girls that I don't know approaches me. She was a smaller girl. Probably about a whole head shorter than me, but had the body you'd see in a high production value porn. She was wearing skin tight jeans the just barely hugged her hips. They were the type that would come to a stop just above her ass that stuck out just enough to make you want to worship it and it's firm full shape, a tank top that looked like it was about to rip apart because of her ample breasts, shorter blonde hair and a stomach that you could tell she was in great shape. In my drunken state, this girls body had me growing wood with every minute that passed. Her face though, I'll tell you, was FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKED UP.... But, when you're drunk. You don't pay attention to those minor details.


Now, like I said, in my now horny, drunken state this girl had just started a party in my pants. As she walks over while I think about the nasty things that would put a smile on my face tomorrow I finish a beer and toss it. The next thing I know, she's got her hand grabbing all over my currently excited self, and pressing her more than average tits into me. This takes me by such surprise, I'm not even thinking about anything. My mind is just blank and my dick just takes over from there. She's grabbing and rubbing with such grace, you could have sworn she did porn, as she pushes closer into me. Asking me if I like her rubbing my cock I really had nothing else to say but mumble the words, oh god yes. My hands just automatically attracted to her ass like magnets...

Next thing I know, by buddy and this girl that was on his arm are shuffling me and her into his car. Telling us to hurry up, and get the fuck in the car. They pile in and the girl that was just rubbing my shaft jump into the back seat, not knowing anything that was going on. As we take off, I've got such a hard on and am a little mad that A) I was just interrupted and B) I didn't grab any more beer. Distracted by those thoughts, I didn't see said girl move her head down near my lap. Next thing I know, I feel my belt being undone and then feeling of a warm wet mouth surround the tip of my dick. My immediate response was to just tilt my head back and place my hand on her head or try and grab her tits. She teased me for just a few seconds before damn near swallowing every inch of my, now rock hard, love cannon. She was a pro at giving head. Knowing just the right time to stroke her hand along my shaft, and just how to switch up from playing around the tip with her tongue, to sucking all the way down like a high powered vacuum. I couldn't help but let everyone else in the car know what was going on. And I didn't care. She was taking it all to her throat, and I was loving it.


Sadly, as the feeling that I was going to explode in her throat in the next few minutes, we reached our destination. We were at my buddy's house. After telling him to keep driving around, to which was futile we piled out of the car. As I'm standing in the middle of the street with my dick hanging out the girl grabs me right by my cock, and leads me like a dog on a leash. All the while tightening and loosening her grip while she strokes it ever so slightly. As we get into the house, I did not care if my buddy was getting his, too. Instead, I was just so shocked that I was being lead into the hosue with my dick in some girls hands. We didn't even make it into the main living room before she was taking of her shirt and shoving my face into her huge tits. They were the tits that just got bigger when she took off her shirt. Perky and with perfect nipples, I was in heaven.


We traded off from making out, sucking each other off, and playing with each others naughty parts. I was itching to fuck her, and I could feel she wanted the same. She undressed me by literally ripping my clothes off of me. Tearing my shirt off over her head, and ripping my boxers down. After which she spent another few minutes letting my poke around in the back of her throat. This time she was more into it than the car, just going from tip to base at the perfect pace without even a break for a breath. Again right as I knew I was going to blast my baby batter into her stomach directly, she stopped.


She led me over to a couch or something and gave me an amazing little strip tease as she took off her pants, showing me her absolutely perfect ass. An ass that was only complimented by tiny little booty shorts and just made me even more horny. And without warning, she just jumps on me and starts going to town. Bouncing up and down. Coming down so hard that I was forced inside of her with every inch that I had. Her huge tits bouncing around so crazy that I couldn't help but try and stabilize by grabbing each one in a hand. At that time, I really wish I had more hands, as there was plenty to go around. She was amazingly wet, and I could feel it gushing from her insides. She was fucking me like I couldn't believe, and knew at the rate we were going, I wouldn't last long. And I wanted this to last until the sun came up. So, I suggested we switch it up.

At the time, my buddy had gone off, and we didn't really want to be fucking right in his living room in case they were to come out. So, we set off through the house, of course, stopping to suck face some more and for me to stick my fingers inside of her to keep her nice and wet as we looked for a good place to fuck. Finally reaching what I knew what was a spare bedroom, again stopping outside the door to let her suck me off a little bit, we finally agreed that we both were too horny to stand it much longer. So, from her knees she looks up and me and tells me to open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur. And the rest is history and something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. A night to remember, for sure.

I really pray that that night doesn't ever get back to my girlfriend.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:35 PM
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We traded off from making out, sucking each other off...
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:36 PM
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Have you not sucked on a woman's naughty bits? They enjoy it. But yeah, bad wording. I was in a hurry. lol
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:46 PM
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I was just giving you shit.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:48 PM
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I know, as am I.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:54 PM
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I tried to message you on IRC.
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