HI
. I have been looking for the new totse for some time. For the last week I have been trying to use totse.info but it sucked dirty balls over there, after posting three times I was so bored I wrote an essay for them:
Good Evening.
In my many years of dicking around on the Web, I have never had as much fun as when I was dicking around with my buddies in Half Baked. There were so many memorable memes, jokes, and wars of influence to occupy my time I was always entertained. I would never play video games after school in grade 10, I would get as many posts on &T as a could before I had to do homework and go to bed (sue me, I am academically ambitious). But as all good things do, my time with &T ended. I grew weary of flood control and the slow pace of an increasingly inactive community, and I moved on to other means of wasting my time.
Years later, in my first year of University, I remembered good old Totse. I remembered slowdown, Blankdeed, EraseMeSad, MandatorySuicide, Aludin, Sprinkles, Jokke, and of course Mr. Happy. Hoping that maybe I could reconnect with the people who didn't wind up on my msn, I fired up the internet tractor and plugged Totse in: what I found was a website that had been murdered by its tyrannical leader, Jeff Hunter. Yet here I am a year later, and I have found what is probably the most accurate Totse clone available right now. Unfortunately this accuracy is empty. Totse.info lacks the feeling of life that &Totse had. To try and best explain the nature of the essence that Totse has lost, I will be drawing comparisons between this diminished vigour and the notable difference in demeanour between a pug dog in a lobster costume and a mildly retarded three-toed sloth.
=/=
For the purposes of these comparisons (and my argument), assume the mildly retarded three-toed sloth to represent &Totse in past incarnations, and the pug dog in a lobster costume to represent Totse in its totse.info incarnation. I have established this as a metaphorical device for several reasons. The first is the well known fact that four legged animals, especially mammals but not excepting amphibians, do not appreciate being strapped into clothing designed for the amusement of their malignant homo sapien overlords. Thus, a dog strapped into a lobster costume can be assumed to be lacking a certain lustre in his demeanour. The second half of the comparison shows numerous examples that demonstrate the merit of the use of the mildly retarded three-toed sloth for my argument. Most notably, the obvious bliss glassing over his Downs Syndrome eyes. One can almost see the subtle string of drool hanging from the corner of the sloth's mouth, bending lazily in the breeze and whispering, "this is magical!"
The juxtaposition of the animals shows allows the following conclusions to be drawn and interpreted. The sloth blissfully plucks at any food it comes across, it drools, it chuckles, and it wheezes slightly if it thinks too hard. Because of all of this, the sloth is not taken seriously within the animal community, but the sloth takes no mind at all. He and his sloth friends make their simple jokes at their own simple pace, they find humour in their unique brand of conversation, and they take pride in this individuality. Drooling along, inch by inch, day by day, the sloth is genuinely happy. The pug dog, on the other hand, takes a swing and a miss in attempting to be artistically didactic. The absurdity of the dog stems from its owner’s projection of what he or she believes to be absurd. If viewed from an emic perspective, the pug dog is reflective of our society’s understanding of out of the ordinary situations and their level of humour/propriety. However, since the owner is probably just a fucking idiot who likes to dress the dog up, this didactism is a failure. Nothing is gained from putting a dog in a lobster suit, it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t funny, and the dog isn't going to like it.
Thank you for your time.
A Short Essay Examining Allegory For the Transformation of Half Baked
Re: A Short Essay Examining Allegory For the Transformation of Half Baked
Re: A Short Essay Examining Allegory For the Transformation of Half Baked
