Archived: WAN's Bulgarian Assistant Manager Saga

[crazymike]

Originally Posted by water bottle

I read nothing of your post but I assume it was written on some sort of amphetamine

longtoasts

Shit, am I that obvious?

I guess its no coincidence that I have been told to shut the fuck up more times in the past few days than in my whole life up til now

[WAN]

Originally Posted by wolfmobster

Hmm, Bulgarian. A year later he's still gonna thank you only for sending him bread

i dont know what you meant by this post

[McMinster of the Piece]

Originally Posted by WAN

Hi.

My assistant manager is like, really cute and shit and I really like him. thing is, i am woefully socially inept, and I don't know how to approach a guy. Like I don't know how to make small talk, don't know how to flirt, in fact, when he's around, I am even too nervous to smile.

The only thing I can think of doing, is to bring him bread/pastry, see because I work in a bakery also and everyday I get 10 dollars worth of free products. I hope by keeping bringing him he will one day treat me to dinner as a form of saying thank you or something like that. Another advantage of this is that I can strike up a conversation with him asking him what kind of bread/pastry he likes. what do you guys think of this idea?

But the most pressing thing is how to let him know that i am interested but do it in a way that I can't be shot down/rejected because we have to work together and see each other. I have been considering picking up a few phrases in his native tongue (he's Bulgarian) to let me know I am interested but i read in this other thread this could be considered creepy. I am out of ideas. I don't know how to let him know I like him without putting myself in a vulnerable position.

Please help.

and i guess you assistant mamager is a 'hot whit boi'. looks like after nearly a decade you whill finally be smoking 'hot whit boi' poll


just show him your novel you been writing for a decade. He will jump on ur cock then. No creepiness at all.

[WAN]

Originally Posted by McMinster of the Piece

and i guess you assistant mamager is a 'hot whit boi'. looks like after nearly a decade you whill finally be smoking 'hot whit boi' poll


just show him your novel you been writing for a decade. He will jump on ur cock then. No creepiness at all.

editted

[ObscuredByClouds]

Keep working at it wan, give us updates

[p6867]

You: Hey, you want to go out after work?
Him: Sure, where?
You: How about (name of bar or other social setting near place of employment)
Him: Great.
Or
You: You: Hey, you want to go out after work?
Him: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
You: Ok, just trying to be social.

The only thing separating you from successful people is practice and self confidence.

[WAN]

Hi. so I like this assistant manager at work, who happens to be bulgarian. I talked about him incessantly with this girl at work, who happens to be very outgoing and talkative, and she told everyone, including him, that i like him. I think he likes me too, because he was trying to initiate a conversation with me the other day (but i just kept on walking past him; i am an idiot, don't ask me why i didn't stop to talk to him) and he gave me the eye when he walked out the door the other night.

today at work, he said hello to me, but i was too nervous to say anything back, so i LOOKED like i wasn't interested in talking to him. I think this discouraged him a bit, and he didn't try to have any contact with me today. I am thinking, I should do something about it. Maybe what I will do, is talk to that talkative girl again, and say, "You know, I think he has a girlfriend. I might as well give up on him", and she is BOUND to react to this, because I think she wants the two of us to get together. Hopefully she will run up to him and ask him for me if he has a girlfriend, and at the same time let him know that I am still interested in him.

what do you guys think of this idea?

[Masuvius]

I think eventually you are going to have to talk to this gentleman yourself. Relying on others for this seems.... infantile.

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Masuvius

I think eventually you are going to have to talk to this gentleman yourself. Relying on others for this seems.... infantile.

this will the be last time, I promise.

He did try to start a conversation with me but for some reason I didn't stop and talk to him (instead I just kept on walking. i was on my way to the washroom). I still kick myself for it to this day. but i promise next time he tries to talk to me, i will respond.

[HelloClarice]

you could talk to your friend again, or you could bite the bullet and just ask him out. the only thing he can do is say no and even though that's embarassing it isn't the end of the world. maybe you can get a group of people at your job to go out after work and invite him along, it gives you the chance to talk to him in an environment where there's no pressure.

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Captain Mandrake

you could talk to your friend again, or you could bite the bullet and just ask him out. the only thing he can do is say no and even though that's embarassing it isn't the end of the world. maybe you can get a group of people at your job to go out after work and invite him along, it gives you the chance to talk to him in an environment where there's no pressure.

that's a good idea.

[Masuvius]

If you want to know what I HONESTLY think: I think you are attracted to the fantasy of this man. I think you have worked a relationship through in your head, you are attracted to aspects of this guy that may or may not exist only within your own mind. I think when you are approached with the reality of him face to face, you crumble inside because you fear it's not going to ever be like it is in the fantasy you have created, you are afraid that the fantasy man you have enjoyed so much in your thoughts may not turn out to be as glorious as you imagined.

So inwardly you are rejecting making a connection, as it's safer to your fantasy to keep this this person interesting to you. Sure you SAY you want him, you tell others you want him, but you are unwilling to make the step you have made in your fantasies.

[WAN]

dude, i have no idea how you reached that conclusion but no, i entertain no fantasies in my head. i saw with my own eyes how he's made giggling like a little boy by those around him and this really drives me insane with desires for him.

[Masuvius]

Now ask yourself what about him makes you feel this way. Is it not something you have thought about that is attractive and interesting? Is it his looks? His personality? The thought of sex with this individual? The position of power over you? What exactly is the nature of this attraction?


You've already worked out something that makes you attracted to him, this would be your fantasy. There is nothing wrong with visualizing the relationship with him you are after. I'm not trying to insult you at all.

[p6867]

Originally Posted by WAN

Hi. so I like this assistant manager at work, who happens to be bulgarian. I talked about him incessantly with this girl at work, who happens to be very outgoing and talkative, and she told everyone, including him, that i like him. I think he likes me too, because he was trying to initiate a conversation with me the other day (but i just kept on walking past him; i am an idiot, don't ask me why i didn't stop to talk to him) and he gave me the eye when he walked out the door the other night.

today at work, he said hello to me, but i was too nervous to say anything back, so i LOOKED like i wasn't interested in talking to him. I think this discouraged him a bit, and he didn't try to have any contact with me today. I am thinking, I should do something about it. Maybe what I will do, is talk to that talkative girl again, and say, "You know, I think he has a girlfriend. I might as well give up on him", and she is BOUND to react to this, because I think she wants the two of us to get together. Hopefully she will run up to him and ask him for me if he has a girlfriend, and at the same time let him know that I am still interested in him.

what do you guys think of this idea?

Get rid of the part where he's a guy and your assistant manager and it sounds like the first time i liked a girl in 5th grade.

Not trying to be a dick, but nut up and flirt with the bro like an adult.

[Painzstake]

Originally Posted by WAN

Hi. so I like this assistant manager at work, who happens to be bulgarian. I talked about him incessantly with this girl at work, who happens to be very outgoing and talkative, and she told everyone, including him, that i like him. I think he likes me too, because he was trying to initiate a conversation with me the other day (but i just kept on walking past him; i am an idiot, don't ask me why i didn't stop to talk to him) and he gave me the eye when he walked out the door the other night.

today at work, he said hello to me, but i was too nervous to say anything back, so i LOOKED like i wasn't interested in talking to him. I think this discouraged him a bit, and he didn't try to have any contact with me today. I am thinking, I should do something about it. Maybe what I will do, is talk to that talkative girl again, and say, "You know, I think he has a girlfriend. I might as well give up on him", and she is BOUND to react to this, because I think she wants the two of us to get together. Hopefully she will run up to him and ask him for me if he has a girlfriend, and at the same time let him know that I am still interested in him.

what do you guys think of this idea?

Firstly don't ask questions through the gossiper (this annoys the shit out of me at least after the first few times), say how you like X about him and how shy you are when your around him (so the guy doesn't think your ignoring him, forget this if you want to approach him) and that is sure to be passed on.
If hes actively trying to talk to you, chances are he has no girlfriend. From what i can gather it seems like he wants to talk to you. So talk back! playing hard to get only works for so long... Just hang around one day until hes leaving and say you were going to grab a drink and relax after work, then ask if he would like to come. If hes any bit intelligent, and/or likes you he will go, even if he has stuff on. Then have a few drinks, it will help with the shyness and try to talk about stuff other than work. basically just enjoy your time with him and flirt a bit.

[WAN]

So I took the advice from zoklet and I mustered up the courage to actually talk to my Bulgarian assistant manager before he went home yesterday. Throughout the whole conversation (if you want to call it that. see reason below), he didn't make any eye contact with me whatsoever. But instead of leaving straight away, he walked over to this guy who was playing a game on his cell phone, and just stood there and watched.

I am suspecting he was being shy, and not actively trying to avoid me, for the following reasons:

1. He tried to initiate a conversation with me the other day, by saying, "how are you Jessica" whilst making steady eye contact. And it was late into the day, so it wasn't like I just started my shift.
2. He gave me the eye while walking out the door on the same day.
3. He already put on his hoody and was about to leave, but instead of leaving, he stayed a little bit and watched some guy play games. All the while my eyes were fixated on him, and I was about 95% sure he could see it in his peripheral vision (due to the way I faced him)


He actually looks at everybody in the eyes when talking to them. It was only with me that he didn't do that. This exception makes me wonder a little bit. He is an assistant manager, he should know better than to not look at someone in the eyes when talking to them. Also, before I started to like him, we used to talk about stuff outside of work, and he acted really naturally, looking at me in the eyes and everything.

ON the other hand, he is 32. I highly doubt that a guy who is 32 and is competent enough to be an assistant manager might get so shy around a woman that he is avoiding eye contact when she talks to him. so this makes me think that maybe he really doesn't want to talk to me outside of work.

I am all out of ideas. totse, what do you think? Is he being shy or does he simply not want to talk to me?

[plehem12]

sounds like youre hideously ugly and while he may be able to look at other employees and customers in the face, yours is way above his pay grade

[WAN]

Originally Posted by plehem12

sounds like youre hideously ugly and while he may be able to look at other employees and customers in the face, yours is way above his pay grade

you know, if you don't have anything to contribute, you should just keep your mouth shut. your post was neither funny nor meaningful. nor did it sting like you probably intended for it to.

[Daily]

Did you do that thing where you told someone gossipy that you like him?

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by WAN

does he simply not want to talk to me?

3char

[Number13]

Staff relationship is frowned upon, he was probably thinking he could lose his job.
FYI he is an asshole.

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by WAN

I highly doubt that a guy who is 32 and is competent enough to be an assistant manager might get so shy around a woman that he is avoiding eye contact when she talks to him.

I worked in a camera shop and the assistant manager there was a fucking nerd.

[virgil caine]

ask him for his phone #then send him naked pictures

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by virgil caine

ask him for his phone #then send him naked pictures

Jeez, she doesn't want to blind the guy!

[love free stuff]

Originally Posted by Shrike

Jeez, she doesn't want to blind the guy!

lmao

[dephdiddy]

Originally Posted by WAN

He actually looks at everybody in the eyes when talking to them. It was only with me that he didn't do that. This exception makes me wonder a little bit. He is an assistant manager, he should know better than to not look at someone in the eyes when talking to them.

ON the other hand, he is 32. I highly doubt that a guy who is 32 and is competent enough to be an assistant manager might get so shy around a woman that he is avoiding eye contact when she talks to him. ?

your doubts are based on?

i was a hiring and firing manager, as well as lead man in a sanitation company and worked mostly with people whos language i couldnt speak fluently. yeah, im that damned good. but i still have trouble keeping eye contact but i have adhd and my attention (eyes shift) but i communicate well.

[Masuvius]

Like the previous post said Superior/subordinate relations are HIGHLY frowned upon often to the point of termination. And it's usually not the superior that gets terminated.

So anyway, I'm proud of you for getting the courage up enough to talk to him. Good job!

So the way I see it, there are one of two things going on, and maybe both. First, he likes you as eye candy, doesn't want to date you or hook up with you, most likely because he wants to keep you around and not see you terminated (or himself).
Or second, he might already be in a committed relationship, he may not advertise his relationship status to everyone, he might be keeping his personal interests entirely separate from his professional interests.

Either way what you described sounds like he's avoiding you. If he had any intention of hooking up with you, he would have followed you out of the building at the end of the work day, and made small talk with you along the way. The fact that he was preparing to leave and delayed in doing so (also the avoiding eye contact) is an indicator that he doesn't want to lead you on.

I'm sure you hate my responses because they are not what you want to hear. But I'm just telling you how I see it from the information I'm getting from you. Don't shoot the messenger.

On a side note workplace romances in my experiences, very rarely turn our well. There is the gossip factor, the competition factor, petty jealousies, and a bunch of other factors that make these type of relationships have a low chance of success. You can keep trying if you want to, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. It's a nice fantasy for you (and even perhaps him) but I think some casual workplace flirting is about as far as you might be able to take this.

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Masuvius

So anyway, I'm proud of you for getting the courage up enough to talk to him. Good job!

thanks dude!

Either way what you described sounds like he's avoiding you. If he had any intention of hooking up with you, he would have followed you out of the building at the end of the work day, and made small talk with you along the way. The fact that he was preparing to leave and delayed in doing so (also the avoiding eye contact) is an indicator that he doesn't want to lead you on.

but how does delaying leaving translate into him not wanting to lead me on? shouldn't it be the other way, as in, if he was in a big hurry to leave as i tried to have a small talk, that means he's not interested?

[Masuvius]

Well if he was delaying to talk with you, that's one thing, that would show intent. But he was delaying to see some game on a phone of one of the other co-workers, sounds like he was intentionally looking for an reason to excuse himself from the situation.

Sure it might have been an awesome game or something but we men are pretty simple in that possible sex trumps stupid phone game any day of the week.

Also the big thing here is the lack of eye contact, you have to assume that word has spread about your attraction. For a guy we'd consider this a sure thing ( as it likely is in your case) which should give him confidence to meet your adoring gaze, knowing you are all wet for him. Which to me would mean that he's either very socially inept (doubtful considering his position), or uninterested in taking the step from subordinate employee to lover.

I was also under the impression that he and you also end the work shift at the same time, though I see I could be wrong about that. If that's not the case I guess it's worth trying a second time, when he gets off his shift make an excuse to go to your car or something outside and try the small talk again.

"Oh you going home already? I was just going to head to my car to get XXXX, I'm headed that direction myself, I'll follow you out.."

It would be really hard to drop a line like that, and him still not get the hint that is implied.

[Captain Falcon]

Quick, fuck him in the ass!

[yawanur]

Originally Posted by dephdiddy

i was a hiring and firing manager, as well as lead man in a sanitation company and worked mostly with people whos language i couldnt speak fluently. yeah, im that damned good.

quoted for lulz

[Hydroponichronic]

Originally Posted by WAN

you know, if you don't have anything to contribute, you should just keep your mouth shut. your post was neither funny nor meaningful. nor did it sting like you probably intended for it to.

No, it was funny. You just fail to see it.

[Captain Falcon]

Okay, don't be mean, faggot. WAN, you've gotta be more expressive.

[Jenkem]

i read one of your other stories, did you ever bring him the food from your other job?

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Masuvius

Well if he was delaying to talk with you, that's one thing, that would show intent. But he was delaying to see some game on a phone of one of the other co-workers, sounds like he was intentionally looking for an reason to excuse himself from the situation.

First of all I just want to say that dude you sound like you have a lot of experience and know what you are talking about, after having read your posts. Now, as for him looking at some game on a phone, the thing is, he already put on his hoody and was about to leave, if he really wanted to excuse himself from a conversation with me, he could have just said, "well, I am going home. see you tomorrow!!" but he didn't. Instead he stayed. The way I see it, though I could be terribly wrong, is that he wanted to have a small talk with me, but was reluctant to show interest, due to the way I acted earlier before (I will explain later). See on the day before, which was Tuesday, I just started work, and as he walked down the stairs, he called my name, "Jessica", in a tiny voice. Then I just froze, cause I was so nervous and didn't know how to act, and I didn't even make eye contact, didn't say his name back either, and just stood there. He must have taken this to mean a lack of interest.

I am not perceiving things how I wish them to be, though. Why i suspect he was delaying departure in order to talk to me is because last week, which was the Wednesday from the previous week, he gave me a look while on his way out. During the day, he also tried to initiate conversation with me, by saying "Jessica, how are you?" but both times I failed to respond (I know, I am stupid). He must have thought I wasn't interested.

Also the big thing here is the lack of eye contact, you have to assume that word has spread about your attraction. For a guy we'd consider this a sure thing ( as it likely is in your case) which should give him confidence to meet your adoring gaze, knowing you are all wet for him. Which to me would mean that he's either very socially inept (doubtful considering his position), or uninterested in taking the step from subordinate employee to lover.

Yeah, I feel very unsure about the lack of eye contact, too. Right now I chalk it up to trepidation/hesitation on his part, due to my previous lukewarm reactions to his showing of interest.

I was also under the impression that he and you also end the work shift at the same time,

dude, you are fucking good. Our shifts do end approximately at the same time. how did you know?

though I see I could be wrong about that. If that's not the case I guess it's worth trying a second time, when he gets off his shift make an excuse to go to your car or something outside and try the small talk again.

"Oh you going home already? I was just going to head to my car to get XXXX, I'm headed that direction myself, I'll follow you out.."

It would be really hard to drop a line like that, and him still not get the hint that is implied.

I plan on making small talk with him again. I shan't give up, I really like this guy. If he is truly shy and inexperienced with women, so much the better, I will only like him more.


I will also include the conversation I had with him, just for your benefit, Masuvius.

Me: "going home?"
him: "yes"
Me; "I heard your mom's here (from Bulgaria)"
Him: "yes"
Me: "are you gonna take her sight seeing".
Him" Yes. it's been raining but it's supposed to be sunny on the weekend"
me: "when was the last time you saw your mother?"
him: "last year"
Me: "can I ask how long you have been in canada?"
him: "15 years"
Me" "how old are you?"
him: "32".

then he just stood next to some guy who was playing games on his cell phone. All the while I was looking at him.

Next time I talk to him, He is probably going to be avoiding eye contact again. Then I will say to him, "are you being shy or you just don't want to talk to me". this will force him to respond to me, then I will say, " you know, you should give me some encouragement. It takes a lot of courage for me to come up to you and talk to you like this". then depending on what he says, I hope to work in this:" I am intimidated by your good looks, you know". then take it from there. what do you think of this?

thank you so much for all your all very helpful responses, dude.

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Captain Falcon

Okay, don't be mean, faggot. WAN, you've gotta be more expressive.

heh, thanks
can you give a more detailed response, as in, how to be more expressive?

Originally Posted by Jenkem

i read one of your other stories, did you ever bring him the food from your other job?

yep. I brought him cinnamon buns. he expressed his gratitude, then said I could have some if I wanted to. Then on the same night, after he had gone home, I checked the fridge, the buns were still there. it wasn't until some time later the second day that the buns were gone. I figure it didn't click with him that i liked him. but on the same night, as I walked past him, I looked at him, and for some reason, he looked up (he was helping a customer), and our eyes met. he looked a little surprised.

[Captain Falcon]

Cut the bullshit. Tell him you want to catch a coffee with him. Just step it up!

[WAN]

Originally Posted by Captain Falcon

Cut the bullshit. Tell him you want to catch a coffee with him. Just step it up!

that would be like moving too fast, given our dynamics. but thanks for trying to help

[Captain Falcon]

Originally Posted by WAN

that would be like moving too fast, given our dynamics. but thanks for trying to help

No, you're too timid. Trust me, I'm a pro.