This Break Up Fucking Sucks

[r.bonesmith]

So yeah, call the waaahhhmbulance, I'm single again.

I broke up with her. After 5 years. A lot of different reasons. I love her, will probably keep on loving her forever, that sucks. I never get over women. I don't think anyone does. I will continue loving her for the rest of my life. That's very sad because it won't cause anything but pain.

I feel like she is always slightly ashamed of me, and that I am always punished for past mistakes. She never wanted to do anything fun, or just hang out, or get a beer at a bar. Always with the staying home and being so mature. I want to travel. I want to go see places and do things.

The thing is, she will do these things, fun things, with other people. I was out of town a few weeks ago to take care of my sick grandmother and she invited her friends over to our place for pizza and wine. WTF? How come I'm never included in these activities? She goes out maybe once a month and I'm never a part of it.

Also, she doesn't want kids which is just, I dunno, I want kids. I don't understand how someone can not want to have kids. To just grow old and die, without leaving a legacy behind? That seems sad.

I'm very sad and I wish I had not broken up with her, but I think it was the right choice. We fought a lot anyway.

Spent hours on the phone with her last night. I was initially writing a big long email to her but then she got online so I just broke the news to her over instant message and then we talked on the phone. I know IM breakups are fucking lame and cowardly but it's not what I was planning to do and we did talk on the phone. I laid everything out and made it clear that this is how I felt.

I'm worried about turning into foreveralone.jpg but I know logically it won't happen. It's just completely traumatic knowing that my best friend and lover is now no longer either.

Break ups feel wrong the same way washing a stab wound from a rusty knife feels wrong. You know you need to clean it out or you will get a horrible infection, but it hurts so bad and it's so hard to bite the bullet and bring yourself to do it. I know that breaking up with her is a good thing because we have been around the same issues over and over that neither one of us is willing to compromise on, but it hurts so fucking bad to do bring yourself to do it.

I miss her so much it's not even funny.

The worst part about break ups? The lethargy. You get so depressed and you just want to not do anything. I sat and stared out a window today for 2 hours, not moving, just sitting and feeling depressed.

I'm going to drag myself out of the house and go to the gym in a little bit.

We are still living together and I don't really know anyone in town I can crash with (not my home town). I'm out of town for the moment but I don't know how things are going to work out when I get back in town. I guess I'll sleep on the futton until I get something worked out/get all my stuff packed up and get the fuck out of dodge.

[Number13]

Did you ever tell her that you wanted to do those things?
You should have brought them up it is your fault, I don't feel sorry for you, please go get drunk and never post again.

[r.bonesmith]

Go be a cunt someplace else.

[Habby]

Originally Posted by r.bonesmith

I love her, will probably keep on loving her forever, that sucks. I never get over women. I don't think anyone does. I will continue loving her for the rest of my life.

You get dependent over time. What you're going through now isn't too much unlike a drug withdrawal. But you'll get over it like most and probably look back and laugh at how much of a pussy you were.

I don't understand how someone can not want to have kids. To just grow old and die, without leaving a legacy behind? That seems sad.

If you've had an effect on anybody or anything then you're leaving something behind. You don't need to have kids for that.

We are still living together

Wait, what?

[r.bonesmith]

I'm gonna move out as soon as I get back into town and have a chance to get my stuff. If you had read my post you would have realized that I'm out of town at the moment so how am I supposed to move out my shit?

[kingOfCrash]

How old are you, OP? It sounds like you did the right thing, unless you're 35+.

[L33tz]

5 years?

hahhahahahahahahahahaha.

this is your fault.

you did what you should have done about 5 years ago.

[BITCH TITZ]

why were you IMing and emailing her if you still live together wtf? do you have separate rooms?

[a334jv2df]

Ugh I broke up with my girl half way through a lease. Fucking sucked. There's nothing worse (besides being an addicted hobo) then not being able to actually live in your house. For those 6 months after the break up I pretty much spent the entire day with friends (neither of us needed to work), got shitfaced at the bar for a few hours, then stumbled home when I thought she'd be asleep. Worst is when I'd come home and she'd be with another man. Then you (at least me) felt the need to spend the next day finding some idiot hoe to bring "home". But, wait, you can bring her home, but not fuck her because I didn't want my ex to do that to me. It turns into one big fucking stupid game. You should have posted this before you dropped her. If it were my call, I'd rather have sucked it up for another 6 months and broke up with her near the end of the lease. Do your parents still live in your "home town"? You're gonna be reacquainted with them...

johnny hobo and the freight trains ~ only two of my best friends are actual people - YouTube

johnny hobo and the freight trains ~ only two of my best friends are actual people - YouTube
Video: click to display

[kingOfCrash]

Originally Posted by BITCH TITZ

why were you IMing and emailing her if you still live together wtf? do you have separate rooms?

He's out of town.

[BITCH TITZ]

Originally Posted by kingOfCrash

He's out of town.

well that makes sense.

[The American Gentleman]

sounds the chemistry was never there man, far from soulmate material. you don't have to forget it ever happened, just move on and don't linger on the past!

[L33tz]

this forum is full of women i don't know what you guys meant when making that thread, just look at this thread for examples.

[HelloClarice]

OP you did the right thing. my divorce was due to a lot of the things you mentioned, it was hard but i know it was for the best.

[r.bonesmith]

Originally Posted by HelloClarice

OP you did the right thing. my divorce was due to a lot of the things you mentioned, it was hard but i know it was for the best.

Thanks man. It totally sucks. I've been through breakups before but you always forget how much they suck until it happens again. It's like being punched in the face, you know it hurts, but then it happens and suddenly you remember with extreme clarity how much it fucking hurts to get your head bashed.

I can see how people end up in loveless and unhappy marriages for their entire lives. It's so much easier to deal with the slight discontent for the rest of their lives than it is to deal with the extreme pain of going through a breakup.

You hope that eventually shit will get better and you will find someone who will make you happy for the rest of life . . .

but in the back of your skull, right at the base were it connects to your spine you have a sinking realization that it might not happen. How many people actually find true love in their lives?

Maybe people who settle for slight discontent are smart. Maybe they got shit down. Maybe they know that they aren't actually worth true love and happiness and that they will never find it.

Thinking back over all the fucked up shit I have done in my life. . . I have done a lot of fucked up shit. I've stolen, I've beaten the shit out of people for no reason. I've fucked over people who love me. I have turned people away when they are in desperate need and have no other place to go. I've been abusive, violent, psychopathic, ruthless, vain. I am on speaking terms with all seven deadly sins.

Obviously I'm Emmo as fuck right now.

[InspiredByMe]

This is relevant.

http://i.imgur.com/9CeLU.gif

[HelloClarice]

it doesn't sound like you were dealing with slight discontent though - it sounded more like miserable.

[Mutant Funk Drink]

Originally Posted by r.bonesmith

So yeah, call the waaahhhmbulance, I'm single again.

I broke up with her. After 5 years. A lot of different reasons. I love her, will probably keep on loving her forever, that sucks. I never get over women. I don't think anyone does. I will continue loving her for the rest of my life. That's very sad because it won't cause anything but pain.

I think I know what you mean. As much as I hate girls I've been with in the past for things they did to me, especially my last ex girlfriend, I still have a place for each one of them in my heart. The aspects of them that I loved never leave me. That might be why I've never fallen in love again the same way I did the first time, because the first time I only had room in my heart for that one girl. Sure, there are other reasons why I don't experience romance anymore, but having those past experiences stick in my heart like needles in a pin cushion can be subconsciously agonizing.

I feel like she is always slightly ashamed of me, and that I am always punished for past mistakes. She never wanted to do anything fun, or just hang out, or get a beer at a bar. Always with the staying home and being so mature. I want to travel. I want to go see places and do things.

Boys and girls, men and women aren't very good mates for each other these days. Both the man and the woman have their own ambitions which almost always comes between them.

I'm actually facing kinda the reverse of your situation right now. My girlfriend is ALWAYS doing things. If she's not at work, she's participating in some activity, or volunteering somewhere, or having fun at some concert or some shit. I've done shit like that for most of my life, but I'm at a point in my life where I need to balance the work with the play. I make time for her, but she doesn't make a lot of time for me anymore. Because of that, whenever we get to see each other, maybe a few hours ever 2 weeks, she always gets bored because she always expects to dos something fun and exciting each time. We can never just "hang out" like we should at this point in our relationship. Sometimes I'd like to just watch TV with her or something, or FUCK, but she's so event-oriented that I don't think she can really stand it. I used to do a lot of things with her, but at some point I have to focus on the rest of my life and stop blowing the little money I have on stupid shit.

The thing is, she will do these things, fun things, with other people. I was out of town a few weeks ago to take care of my sick grandmother and she invited her friends over to our place for pizza and wine. WTF? How come I'm never included in these activities? She goes out maybe once a month and I'm never a part of it.

LOL! Same situation here, man.

But what gets me even more is my girlfriend and her family. Now I generally hate families for the most part, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have some sort of connection with her family in some way. I've always been as kind and polite to her family as possible. Genuinely, I might add. But she does whatever she can to keep me separate from her family. I'm not really sure why, either. Her family is "weird" in her eyes, but so is every other family.

Like yesterday; it was Valentine's Day, after all, so I wanted to get my girlfriend some flowers. I bought some flowers the day before that I thought she'd like. I put them in a vase and added some really nice greenery. I was really excited, so before I had to go to class the next day, I drove to her house to drop them off and leave them for her. I saw that her mom's car was there, so I rang the doorbell and nobody would answer. So I decided I'd come back after school and give them to her in person after she gets home from work. I came back and rang the doorbell and knocked several times. I KNOW they were all home, but even though her mom/dad/sister/brother were there, for some reason it took about 3 minutes for someone to answer the door, and it was her. And she wouldn't even let me in the house. You know, I don't let things bother me very often, but it sucks dick not being welcome somewhere. Especially for no good reason. I always feel like she's embarrassed of me, but I don't know why. Meanwhile it seems her sister's boyfriend is over at her parents' house all the time and they like him.

And yeah, she does a lot of thing with other people and NEVER includes me. Maybe every once in a great while if I ask, but she rarely includes me voluntarily. I, on the other hand, usually try to include her with me and my best friend when we're doing something.

Also, she doesn't want kids which is just, I dunno, I want kids. I don't understand how someone can not want to have kids. To just grow old and die, without leaving a legacy behind? That seems sad.

Yeah, my girlfriend doesn't want kids and neither do I. Which is a good thing, for now. But she says she wants to get her tubes tied at some point, and I'm not sure that's a good idea. I'll probably change my mind on children someday.

I'm very sad and I wish I had not broken up with her, but I think it was the right choice. We fought a lot anyway.

Spent hours on the phone with her last night. I was initially writing a big long email to her but then she got online so I just broke the news to her over instant message and then we talked on the phone. I know IM breakups are fucking lame and cowardly but it's not what I was planning to do and we did talk on the phone. I laid everything out and made it clear that this is how I felt.

Breaking up is usually for the best, though we don't usually feel that way at the time. I wouldn't want to do a text breakup either, though if I do breakup with my girlfriend, I'd LOVE to send her a list of my grievances laid out in order.

I'm worried about turning into foreveralone.jpg but I know logically it won't happen. It's just completely traumatic knowing that my best friend and lover is now no longer either.

Break ups feel wrong the same way washing a stab wound from a rusty knife feels wrong. You know you need to clean it out or you will get a horrible infection, but it hurts so bad and it's so hard to bite the bullet and bring yourself to do it. I know that breaking up with her is a good thing because we have been around the same issues over and over that neither one of us is willing to compromise on, but it hurts so fucking bad to do bring yourself to do it.

I miss her so much it's not even funny.

Is this the first girl you've ever been with? This shit seemed pretty traumatic for me the first time, but these days I kinda expect my relationships to turn sour. And other peoples' relationships too.

The worst part about break ups? The lethargy. You get so depressed and you just want to not do anything. I sat and stared out a window today for 2 hours, not moving, just sitting and feeling depressed.

Haha, the first time I was dumped, I spent 2 weeks in my room just staring at the walls and didn't leave to eat or bathe. I was pretty jacked in the head. xD

I'm going to drag myself out of the house and go to the gym in a little bit.

We are still living together and I don't really know anyone in town I can crash with (not my home town). I'm out of town for the moment but I don't know how things are going to work out when I get back in town. I guess I'll sleep on the futton until I get something worked out/get all my stuff packed up and get the fuck out of dodge.

Unless you have something else lined up in your life, getting the fuck outta dodge might be a good thing.

[L33tz]

Look.

I'm rarely helpful.

But listen well.

It was all an illusion.

That is all.

[1983]

Zoklet isn't all the best place to be emotional dude... That being said don't be surprised if when you come back she's sucking the biggest blackest cock she can find or fucking your best friend bareback.

It's a real shame that you live so far away because her shit would not be tight if I rolled through town... Unless she was a fat or has a face that looks like a can of worms then no dice, I'd rather just spank it.

Something you should try though is going to a counsellor and try to work things out between you both and get to the root of the problem and work through your differences.
Like some people have said if you don't voice your concerns they'll never get through.

For having kids rubbers break all the time so sneak one into her.

Al

[r.bonesmith]

No this isn't my first breakup just the longest relationship I've had. 5 years. The other serious girlfriend I had was 2 years and that was a much worse break up. I spent all day crying after that one. She kept trying to be friends with me and calling me just to chat and stuff. Eventually I asked her to leave me alone because seeing her or talking to her just made me feel shitty. She wouldn't listen so I asked one of my female friends (been great friends since junior high) to call her up and tell her to fuck off.

There have been other girls and other break ups of course but past a certain point in life you stop counting flings and short term relationships as actual girlfriends or actual breakups. Those were just girls I was dating and then it ended.

I remember when my relationship with my first serious girl ended I thought maybe it would have been easier if I had been the one to break it off instead of her. But now that I'm the one breaking up with a serious girlfriend . . . No, it hurts just as much to be the one breaking up with someone.

Whats dumb about this is I moved to another town to be with her. Completely leaving behind whatever support network I had. Last time this happened I went out and got fucking smashed with my buds and hit on every fucking chick at every fucking party I went to. I was depressed for fucking months but I made a fucking effort, I went out every weekend, to a bar, to a house party, I powered through it. You get by with a little help from your friends. . . .

Shit has changed now though. I moved away. One of my best buds moved to bumble fuck Ohio. My other one is still in the hometown and has his own serious girlfriend (with all the drama that comes with it) and the rest of my friends graduated college, moved away to various places, or just stopped hanging out and going to parties. My last best bud moved to fucking Portland and is a hipster in a garage band who delivers pizza, still parties like he's 19, but I'm 26 now, you know? I don't really want to party like I'm 19 anymore.

And me? I'm in a fucking bumble fuck land locked town with 30 thousand people in it. I don't have any friends in this fucking town, it's fucking hard to meet people. I don't know what it is about this town that makes it so hard to meet people. I think with such a small town everyone is very protective about their personal life because shit gets around you know? People in this town seem to make enemies for life, drama that started in fucking kindergarten still affects people who live in this town at the age of 30.

Like I said I'm out of town right now taking care of my grandmother, she fractured her hip. I get back home to my ex-girl and the apartment we share on Monday which means I'll probably find used condoms sitting in the toilet from her first "single" weekend in 5 years.

I dunno, fuck. I don't think I can take that. I'm going to try to be like a fucking Ninja. Get in, get all my shit, get out and gone in a few hours. I won't even bother sorting my shit into boxes, I'll just stuff everything into giant duffle bags and sort shit out wherever I end up landing once I get the fuck out.

Thanks for listening guys. I know it's lame to look for emotional support on the interbutts but I don't have much choice.

[1983]

Go to a pool hall and burn a night at the table or even just walking around town. Keep active and put other shit in you head and try not to think about it.

You know there's other chicks out there and you know you'll run across one. You just gotta keep going until the right one comes along.

If anything buy so free weights and throw yourself into a workout regime. Sometimes physical pain will mask emotional pain and working your body hard will get you looking better and after a while feeling better.
Make sure you keep up a good diet and try to lay off unnatural sugars and country music.

Do what you have to do to keep yourself in the good. And I hope you and your granny gets better.

Al

[a334jv2df]

Originally Posted by 1983

Make sure you keep up a good diet and try to lay off unnatural sugars and country music.

Gotta disagree with the country music part. I'm in the best shape of my life, grew up in the north east, and hate niggers!

Woop woop bam bam who likes a nigger?????!?!?!

[1983]

Country music actually has the highest suicide rate... I like country myself but if I'm in a bad way I can't be around it.

Al

[Habby]

Country's fine. Just stay away from that alcohol stuff.

[JeffreyH]

Protip: next time, when there are annoyances, talk to your partner and work them out, don't let them build up over time.

If you cannot reach compromise, either get out, or keep tapping that without getting attached.


Don't make life more complicated than it should be.

[Nero]

fag

[Drox]

Relationships aren't worth it.

You get pussy for a while then the breakup comes and you feel like absolute shit for months/years.

What a rip.

[psycho_8b]

I know it's hard mate. I had a rough one last year too... Broke up with a 3 year girlfriend, jumped straight into a guaranteed-to-fail 'relationship' with another girl which, surprise surprise, fell to shit and got me dumped via text message! My apologies for the long story ahead but it serves to prove things get better eventually.

I broke up with the first one for the right reasons. We both changed a lot and work was taking me piece by piece. I drifted into my own world and spent a lot of time alone. Then I eventually realised I'd fallen out of love with her and had to end it. I wanted to break up with her for the right reasons than stay with her for the wrong. Sad but true. However, If I said I don't still think about her and hope she's well, I'd be lying.
The second was a nightmare but that mother fucker called love (or in this case probably infatuation) was the monkey on my back. I felt shitty after she dumped me and it took a while to go from indifference to anger to hatred for her and eventually to where I am now: I pity her because of who she is and why she's the way she is, which I won't go into.

The way I got through it was to throw myself into work, which had gone tits up a few months previous due to my manager leaving me to run the show while I was still green. Not to mention short staffed! But I ploughed into it head first and decided I was going to win. I got so much done and made so much headway. It was brilliant.
When I wasn't working, I was chilling with friends, going to parties, meeting new people, going on dates, going to new laces and trying new things. Eventually everything started smoothing out... Work got easier, I actually enjoyed my free time again and I met a girl who I've been with for about 4 months now.

The only advice I can offer you is that which you already know: Time is the key, you won't be alone forever, if you did it for the right reason it is the right thing to do, get a hobby, get your mind off of it blah blah blah. But like my old man always said "life has a funny way of working out for the best."

Trust me mate. It'll get better

[cheech]

Originally Posted by r.bonesmith

So yeah, call the waaahhhmbulance

I've already dialled nine-wah-wah.

OT: I know you've probably heard this 2000000x times but time will make heaps of a difference. Just hang in there and stick with what youve chosen for the next 2 weeks. Just find a way how and it'll get better.

[Mirana]

The only option is to kill her and eat the remains, this way she'll be with you forever.