When people with low self-esteem aren't wrong

[Zanick]

Everybody knows that dreaded situation when you find yourself alone with somebody that happens to be somewhat ugly, or obese, and so on, and they begin to talk about it. They appear to be fairly accurate in their observations:

"I'm too fat for anybody to love me."

"I wish I weren't such a butterface."

And you want to say something like, "No, that's not true. You're a beautiful person, inside and out. Anybody can see that." They might feel like shit, but it's not your fault anymore because you successfully avoided saying something awful, truth or not. But at the same time you would rather not lie about something so obvious because you'll feel like a jerk. You just can't have both.

What do you say to these people?

[Duke Zion]

I tell her after sucking my balls to make me a god damn sandwich

[reject]

"Before diagnosing yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes".

[AoxomoxoA]

Yeah, this issue came up back when I was in therapy. One of the psychologists was trying to shove that "everybody is special" bullshit down our throats and I said to him "Hey, I thought a self-esteem was something you earned and not something that you have by default and uhh, even then some people have shitty genetics. It's life" so I got shunned and I wasn't allowed to speak for the rest of our group session because I was being a "negative nancy". God, I hated that place. They had amazing gourmet style food though.

[hooloovoo]

The truth is nearly everyone is attracted to something different, and more often than not it's social/personality issues that keep someone from finding "love."

But the types of people who make those statements would probably be hurt by that as well- although maybe less so.

[Duke Zion]

Originally Posted by aoxomoxoa

Yeah, this issue came up back when I was in therapy. One of the psychologists was trying to shove that "everybody is special" bullshit down our throats and I said to him "Hey, I thought a self-esteem was something you earned and not something that you have by default and uhh, even then some people have shitty genetics. It's life" so I got shunned and I wasn't allowed to speak for the rest of our group session because I was being a "negative nancy". God, I hated that place. They had amazing gourmet style food though.

I bet you creepy demeanor has something to do with that

Slag fails at therapy and understanding basic human interaction, back to TRT chat where you belong

[AoxomoxoA]

Originally Posted by Duke Zion

I bet you creepy demeanor has something to do with that

Slag fails at therapy and understanding basic human interaction, back to TRT chat where you belong

What the fuck are you talking about? LOL.

I love how you accuse me of following you.

[Duke Zion]

Originally Posted by aoxomoxoa

What the fuck are you talking about? LOL.

I love how you accuse me of following you.

Just have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up

[Zanick]

nigs taken over my thread.

[Duke Zion]

Originally Posted by zanick

nigs taken over my thread.

They tend to come where they are not wanted

[L33tz]

tell them to stop whining

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by Duke Zion

I bet you creepy demeanor has something to do with that

Slag fails at therapy and understanding basic human interaction, back to TRT chat where you belong

Originally Posted by aoxomoxoa

What the fuck are you talking about? LOL.

I love how you accuse me of following you.

stop whining, nigs

on topic folks, on topic puh-leez

[p6867]

If you're too fat, work out. If you're ugly, become successful. I see plenty of ugly dudes with hot wives because their ugliness is offset by the fact that they're interesting and successful.

[Marsh]

Originally Posted by aoxomoxoa

God, I hated that place. They had amazing gourmet style food though.

First time I've ever heard food at the loony bin referred to as "gourmet style" LAWL.

[komokazi]

Slag arguing with himself, lulz.

[L33tz]

just ignore them

[AoxomoxoA]

Originally Posted by Marsh

First time I've ever heard food at the loony bin referred to as "gourmet style" LAWL.

That was the best fucking food I ever ate.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by p6867

If you're too fat, work out. If you're ugly, become successful. I see plenty of ugly dudes with hot wives because their ugliness is offset by the fact that they're interesting and successful.

That would be a reasonable and positive lifestyle change for somebody experiencing these problems, but if you were to give this advice to a person suffering from low confidence and a negative perception of their own body image, you would likely be viewed as insensitive.

[p6867]

you have to say these things politely. That's the trick.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by hooloovoo

The truth is nearly everyone is attracted to something different, and more often than not it's social/personality issues that keep someone from finding "love."

But the types of people who make those statements would probably be hurt by that as well- although maybe less so.

Actually that sounds like the best explanation I've heard to date. Somebody who believes themselves objectively hideous may be delighted to know they need to change their personality, because that is something that can be actively worked on or at the very least, feigned entirely.

[bumble]

Originally Posted by zanick

That would be a reasonable and positive lifestyle change for somebody experiencing these problems, but if you were to give this advice to a person suffering from low confidence and a negative perception of their own body image, you would likely be viewed as insensitive.

This is why you just go ahead and change the subject matter or talk about the qualities that you percieve as good in them.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by bumble

This is why you just go ahead and change the subject matter or talk about the qualities that you percieve as good in them.

But then they still have no closure about whatever is making them upset.

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by p6867

If you're too fat, work out. If you're ugly, become successful. I see plenty of ugly dudes with hot wives because their ugliness is offset by the fact that they're interesting and successful.

When you put it like that, it sounds easy, but in reality it's nowhere near that simple. I dunno if you've ever had the experience of being really fat and unfit and trying to exercise every day, or working some shit job for crap pay so that you get experience for your cv and maybe in a few more years it will let you get a good job...

It's actually pretty fucking hard to stick at that shit for months and years on end. I don't understand how people do it, how they have the energy or can just switch off their minds like that.

[Irukanji]

OP, don't be such a faggot. Tell them that yes, they are indeed a fat, worthless, unlovable retard. Make sure to emphasise all the main points, and then when they start crying, tell them to get some mental help and stop being worthless cunts.

I believe only narcissists will even bring the topic up. If you don't bring it up, why do they feel as if their sufferings and internal pain need to be inflicted onto you? If it so hurtful for them, then they should either change what the problem is, or they should see a psychiatrist and get some xanax or something and stop being bitches. People who say it only want what they want to hear said back to them, being the responses OP said he "wanted" to say. They want to inflate their ego by using their low emotions to leech off your higher emotions, to bring them up whilst you go against what you might want to say.

[Darkhunter]

Originally Posted by Irukanji

OP, don't be such a faggot. Tell them that yes, they are indeed a fat, worthless, unlovable retard. Make sure to emphasise all the main points, and then when they start crying, tell them to get some mental help and stop being worthless cunts.

Agreed. Seriously if they didn't want the opinion of you, and the fact by the time they asked you this question they should know your views about things, then they wouldn't ask you that question. If you are talking to a fatass that is ugly then don't sugar coat it because a) They wont fix themselves and b) Those insults against them just hurt them more.

If they can accept what they are then they'll stop caring eventually.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by Irukanji

OP, don't be such a faggot. Tell them that yes, they are indeed a fat, worthless, unlovable retard. Make sure to emphasise all the main points, and then when they start crying, tell them to get some mental help and stop being worthless cunts.

I believe only narcissists will even bring the topic up. If you don't bring it up, why do they feel as if their sufferings and internal pain need to be inflicted onto you? If it so hurtful for them, then they should either change what the problem is, or they should see a psychiatrist and get some xanax or something and stop being bitches. People who say it only want what they want to hear said back to them, being the responses OP said he "wanted" to say. They want to inflate their ego by using their low emotions to leech off your higher emotions, to bring them up whilst you go against what you might want to say.

Empathy is my curse, while it may take me far in the field of psychiatry, it won't necessarily help me in life. Hence this thread. It hurts. When people bring that negativity out into the open, it hurts, a lot. For some reason I feel the need to help. Still, I deplore the idea of causing further pain. But at the same time I know you're right about this overall: I am a faggot, and this aspect of my personality is seriously detrimental to my own well-being.

Originally Posted by Darkhunter

Agreed. Seriously if they didn't want the opinion of you, and the fact by the time they asked you this question they should know your views about things, then they wouldn't ask you that question. If you are talking to a fatass that is ugly then don't sugar coat it because a) They wont fix themselves and b) Those insults against them just hurt them more.

If they can accept what they are then they'll stop caring eventually.

I agree with that last part, however I don't know if the aforementioned is necessarily the most thoughtful response. There has to be a way to be polite and direct, some combination words in some order I'm not aware of at this point in my life.

[p6867]

Originally Posted by Shrike

When you put it like that, it sounds easy, but in reality it's nowhere near that simple. I dunno if you've ever had the experience of being really fat and unfit and trying to exercise every day, or working some shit job for crap pay so that you get experience for your cv and maybe in a few more years it will let you get a good job...

It's actually pretty fucking hard to stick at that shit for months and years on end. I don't understand how people do it, how they have the energy or can just switch off their minds like that.

I've never been fat, but I used to have asthma. Then I started running until i didn't anymore.
I worked a shit job for 3 years through college. A shitty full time job and graduated early. Most people are just lazy.
What the hell is a cv?

[Darkhunter]

Originally Posted by zanick

I agree with that last part, however I don't know if the aforementioned is necessarily the most thoughtful response. There has to be a way to be polite and direct, some combination words in some order I'm not aware of at this point in my life.

Being polite just sets them up for failure. Being direct is the better way.

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by p6867

I've never been fat, but I used to have asthma. Then I started running until i didn't anymore.
I worked a shit job for 3 years through college. A shitty full time job and graduated early. Most people are just lazy.
What the hell is a cv?

I don't think asthma is a thing you can just 'run off'. A CV or curriculum vitae is what Britishers call a resume.

And yes, I am lazy as fuck. That's why I said I don't understand how people keep the exercising and going to work shit up for long periods of time. I'd much rather just eat and watch stuff online.

[Duke Zion]

Originally Posted by Shrike

I don't think asthma is a thing you can just 'run off'. A CV or curriculum vitae is what Britishers call a resume.

And yes, I am lazy as fuck. That's why I said I don't understand how people keep the exercising and going to work shit up for long periods of time. I'd much rather just eat and watch stuff online.

Amen

[p6867]

Originally Posted by Shrike

I don't think asthma is a thing you can just 'run off'. A CV or curriculum vitae is what Britishers call a resume.

And yes, I am lazy as fuck. That's why I said I don't understand how people keep the exercising and going to work shit up for long periods of time. I'd much rather just eat and watch stuff online.

they test to see if you have asthma through a breathing test. If you run enough and are in good enough shape, their asthma test will come back negative. So regardless of my reactive airway disease, (asthma) I have above human average respiratory function because i worked it off. If some fucking pussy can't work off being overweight, they deserve whatever happens to them. Die alone. I have childhood asthma and i have one lung that has staples in it from being shot, am a pack a day smoker and still have better than average respiratory function because i work my ass off.

If some people aren't willing to work hard, the rest of us shouldn't feel bad. No matter how hard of a hand you'r dealt in this world, short of being crippled and mentally infirm, you can overcome.

[Rolf]

Originally Posted by zanick

What do you say to these people?

Belittle them and crush their souls until they are either driven to suicide or self-improvement; regardless of the outcome said fool shall have made world better, proclaims Rolf.

Originally Posted by zanick

"I'm too fat for anybody to love me."

Less time spent whining more time spent jogging might help with this, answers Rolf.

Originally Posted by zanick

"I wish I weren't such a butterface."

Rolf wishes ex-wife of Rolf did not take the Rolfcopter in divorce settlement, replies Rolf.

Originally Posted by Shrike

It's actually pretty fucking hard to stick at that shit for months and years on end. I don't understand how people do it, how they have the energy or can just switch off their minds like that.

Get a job involving physical exercise then spend free time reading, or get a job involving mental challenges and spend free time playing sport, demands Rolf.

Originally Posted by p6867

they test to see if you have asthma through a breathing test. If you run enough and are in good enough shape, their asthma test will come back negative. So regardless of my reactive airway disease, (asthma) I have above human average respiratory function because i worked it off. If some fucking pussy can't work off being overweight, they deserve whatever happens to them. Die alone. I have childhood asthma and i have one lung that has staples in it from being shot, am a pack a day smoker and still have better than average respiratory function because i work my ass off.

If some people aren't willing to work hard, the rest of us shouldn't feel bad. No matter how hard of a hand you'r dealt in this world, short of being crippled and mentally infirm, you can overcome.

As asthmatic that had to be hospitalized numerous times when younger, Rolf agrees entirely with this statement, proclaims Rolf. Sufficient fitness will counter asthma and there are international-level athletes that are technically asthmatic, so using "asthma" as excuse for being overweight and lazy bag of fat is not a suitable excuse, it is simply lazy bag of fat unwilling to change it's hideous state, states Rolf.

[Darkhunter]

Originally Posted by Rolf

Rolf wishes ex-wife of Rolf did not take the Rolfcopter in divorce settlement, replies Rolf.

Roflcopter - YouTube

Roflcopter - YouTube
Video: click to display

[cronic5]

I tell people the fucking truth. I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. If someone is going to bring it up, I am most likely going to make it sound much, much worse just for trying to get sympathy.

If you are an ugly fuck, don't whine about it, that just makes you an asshole.

[Mirana]

Originally Posted by cronic5

I tell people the fucking truth. I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. If someone is going to bring it up, I am most likely going to make it sound much, much worse just for trying to get sympathy.

If you are an ugly fuck, don't whine about it, that just makes you an asshole.

The worst kind of people are those who aren't born like mutants, they are just fat/stupid or lazy to get a better wardrobe and take care of themselves. Always just are negative as shit.

You only get to go through the "life sucks" phase when you're a loser in high school. Not when you're 25 and still at home.

[delysid]

Just tell her you don't give a fuck about it.

[Zanick]

What about ugly people? You can deal with fat, but ugly is forever. I know a guy who naturally looks like Michael Jackson.

So what do I tell the naturally ugly person? I can be straightforward, but my words can't make them less hideous.

[felonious_monk]

yeah i hate when people say things like that. it's like what are you supposed to say to that? those kinds of people just make it worse for themselves, because nobody wants to hang out with them if they're just going to make themselves feel uncomfortable

[STD]

true story, low self esteem chicks are so honest about why they suck (lol) that it turns me off

[Delia]

tell them that whatever they don't like about themselves 2 work on. if they feel fat then work out & stop eating so many ding dongs. if they just feel plain ugly well then go shopping & buy some sexy clothes instead of always wearing sweat pants & t-shirts. and go get some makeup learn 2 put it on correctly & then go 2 a hairstylist & get a new doo. instead of sitting feeling sorry 4 themself & waiting 4 someone 2 reassure them that they r in fact decent looking, the person needs 2 take their own steps in changing the way they look & feel.