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Old 03-19-2012, 08:55 PM
jator jator is offline
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Default I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

I want my own country. To go about this there are two ways I can think of doing it. Of course you could take one over with an army. But armies cost a ton of money, especially for one, or a few, people to come up with. Even then you would likely be hiring out some mercenary army, who, when shit hits the fan, would have no reason to remain loyal to you other than the money. What if some other guy has more of it?

I believe it would have to be done through some sort of diplomatic means (i.e. Hitler). You guys have any ideas for what countries it would be easy to do something similar to what he did? That way I could start working on learning their language and customs. It is beginning to look less impossible in the U.S. than it did at one time but I still don't think I could pull it off in the next 20 years (possible timeline, probably longer).

Anyone have any ideas on how to do this though? Maybe even an interest in doing so yourself? I could always use a right hand man, though I already have some ideas, and you would surely have to prove yourself quite trustworthy.

You would obviously have to make yourself appear quite trustworthy to the people. They would have to feel you have nothing but your best interests at hand. Indeed, you would have to be quite the actor, better than any of these clowns we see on t.v. (U.S. politicians, mind you- some are not horrible).

It would need to be a country in turmoil, start (or join) some radical political party that just appears to have the answers. Probably some nationalist party that would tell the population not only that they need to do these things to turn themselves around but that they have the right to be the best damn place on earth. Depending on how far you wanted to take the whole thing maybe even reason for expansion.

I almost wish I was arab as SOMEONE will eventually unite many of those countries; and I doubt it would be some white guy. I'm rambling, but what say you?

and ehh..sorry not sure if this is better here or der politik or something?
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  #2  
Old 03-19-2012, 09:07 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

3rd world armies are usually just pyramid schemes Get like 12 million dollars and you could take over some shitty land locked african country. Mauritania is really poor and getting really into islam, but they have a significant christian population in the north, if you set up a west friendly government there and cracked down on islamic fundamentalism they'd have to develop new planes to accomadate the free money and supplies the CIA would give you. That's always been my dream.
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:12 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

You could probably just buy Lesotho or Grenada or something along those lines. If you want a larger country with more power... well, good luck.
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:22 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

I'm still open to doing it in Guatemala. Closer to the US and I already know the language and customs.
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Old 03-20-2012, 12:57 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

I like how its all BOLDS in this thread...
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Old 03-20-2012, 01:11 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Get close to the leader, have him deposed. Be sure to have a steady clique to help you maintain your grip. Get the propaganda running, and subtly deal with dissent.
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Old 03-20-2012, 01:14 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jator View Post
I want my own country.
i'd bomb your country, slam some meth and then rape all the survivors at gun-point.

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Old 03-20-2012, 01:19 AM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by p6867 View Post
3rd world armies are usually just pyramid schemes Get like 12 million dollars and you could take over some shitty land locked african country. Mauritania is really poor and getting really into islam, but they have a significant christian population in the north, if you set up a west friendly government there and cracked down on islamic fundamentalism they'd have to develop new planes to accomadate the free money and supplies the CIA would give you. That's always been my dream.
I don't think the Mauritanians would react very well to an angry pasty American ex GI coming in telling them what to do. You think Khadafy had it bad. Hell, they wouldn't even like me.
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Old 03-20-2012, 02:03 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

I'm not angry bro, i'm awesome. And everyone loves a winner, once you take a few villages get everything rolling, and give the teenagers something to do you're in great shape. But yeah, fucking white people countries all have too much money and people who care about them too pull this kind of shit off. White people used to run mauritania, and it's the best off the country ever was.
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  #10  
Old 03-20-2012, 02:28 AM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Lol...nothing will unite the Africans like Neo colonialism. They'll stop killing each other, kill you, make the Rt. Hon Sir Buttfuck Me Quick Kill the Honkies president, then resume killing each other. Hell, I'm African American, and they'd probably chop me up as soon as they see me living in the presidential palace trying to run their shit. Now, if we get a native puppet regime, a guy who doesnt eat people and ride through the streets in the limo firing an RPG at civilians, and won't turn, and can bullshit/lull the people, we're golden for a while. If you want to play the role of crooked, old school westerner in Africa, you have to get a native face.

Also, I'd like to know how exploiting a country's populace and resources makes them better off. European colonialism is why Africa is so pitiful now.

Last edited by Tachosomoza; 03-20-2012 at 02:40 AM.
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  #11  
Old 03-20-2012, 03:23 AM
jator jator is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by p6867 View Post
3rd world armies are usually just pyramid schemes Get like 12 million dollars and you could take over some shitty land locked african country. Mauritania is really poor and getting really into islam, but they have a significant christian population in the north, if you set up a west friendly government there and cracked down on islamic fundamentalism they'd have to develop new planes to accomadate the free money and supplies the CIA would give you. That's always been my dream.
I like where you're coming from this is basically what I've been thinking.

Now just have to figure out a way to come up with the money...easier said than done. Unless there's some government in place that it wouldn't be too hard to become buddy buddy with (again everything seems to come back to $$).

Well what kinda fundraiser should we get goin? Does anyone else here actually go to college or make decent money (or at least are on their way to making decent money someday?) I'm really not against pooling resources with a few even, trustworthy people in order to gain control of a large quantity of land and people then enforce my will on them.

Lez do dis!
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  #12  
Old 03-20-2012, 03:45 AM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jator View Post
I like where you're coming from this is basically what I've been thinking.

Now just have to figure out a way to come up with the money...easier said than done. Unless there's some government in place that it wouldn't be too hard to become buddy buddy with (again everything seems to come back to $$).

Well what kinda fundraiser should we get goin? Does anyone else here actually go to college or make decent money (or at least are on their way to making decent money someday?) I'm really not against pooling resources with a few even, trustworthy people in order to gain control of a large quantity of land and people then enforce my will on them.

Lez do dis!
So, you're going to just waltz into a country with millions of people, depose the government, and ignore the UN/international community? And that's if the people don't laugh at you and put your head on a spike. They're jockeying for power internally, do you really think they're going to let some foreigner, much less a Westerner, come in and run their shit? Honestly, sometimes I swear you people have potato mash for brains.

I don't even know why I responded to this troll thread.

Last edited by Tachosomoza; 03-20-2012 at 03:48 AM.
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  #13  
Old 03-20-2012, 03:46 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Leave the women at home please...
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  #14  
Old 03-20-2012, 03:49 AM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Nauru seems like a pretty nice place to take over.
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Old 03-20-2012, 08:20 AM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tachosomoza View Post
So, you're going to just waltz into a country with millions of people, depose the government, and ignore the UN/international community? And that's if the people don't laugh at you and put your head on a spike. They're jockeying for power internally, do you really think they're going to let some foreigner, much less a Westerner, come in and run their shit? Honestly, sometimes I swear you people have potato mash for brains.

I don't even know why I responded to this troll thread.
I mentioned in the original post it would take at least 20 (probably more) years.

Next time try being literate asshole.
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Old 03-20-2012, 06:03 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tachosomoza View Post
Nauru seems like a pretty nice place to take over.
I came in here to say this. Rampant unemployment, only 10000 people. The country was spending 30% of it's GDP to operate ONE 747 to ferry people to the island. Any decent dictator is going to want to form a personality cult pretty quickly.
The only problem is there's basically nothing in Nauru besides small amounts of phosphate mining.
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  #17  
Old 03-20-2012, 08:38 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

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Originally Posted by jator View Post
I mentioned in the original post it would take at least 20 (probably more) years.

Next time try being literate asshole.
I hope this is in no way discouraging, but you're never going to be the dictator of anything except for... fuck, I don't know. There's a joke in there somewhere. Figure it out.

Do you really think somebody here is jumping at the opportunity to be your right-hand man (aka bitch)?
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  #18  
Old 03-20-2012, 08:42 PM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Lol...p6867 was inebriated.
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  #19  
Old 03-21-2012, 10:21 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

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Originally Posted by water bottle View Post
I hope this is in no way discouraging, but you're never going to be the dictator of anything except for... fuck, I don't know. There's a joke in there somewhere. Figure it out.

Do you really think somebody here is jumping at the opportunity to be your right-hand man (aka bitch)?
I only offered up the right hand man deal to try an get some bitches to spew some information (this is not a super cereal thread).

I believe it is not an entirely impossible scenario- to become supreme leader of some shit hole.

Just gotta find the right place at the right time and be beyond prepared to take advantage of the situation.

I realize that odds are I will never become a dictator of any country but it's still interesting to talk about and debate how one could go through the motions of walkin to the top.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:23 PM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

There's people ready to pull you down at every step. 3rd World politics is a brutal game.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:33 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Didn't the British do this to the Chinese with Opium?
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Become a dictator through sorcery

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Old 03-22-2012, 05:27 AM
Tachosomoza Tachosomoza is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

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Originally Posted by skygear View Post
Didn't the British do this to the Chinese with Opium?
They got a big war too.
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Old 03-22-2012, 03:59 PM
jator jator is offline
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

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Originally Posted by Tachosomoza View Post
They got a big war too.
Ya but that kinda opens up another line of thought (not that it worked for the brits) but perhaps enslaving some society by putting opiates or something in their water supply (if you could somehow gain a monopoly on water in an area you would already have da powa anyway- another possibility?) and then being like "you bitches can't live without me or you'll be too sick to provide for your families."

Also yes I agree 3rd world politics are brutal. That was why I was discussing ways to raise an army (through money obviously) and wondering what a good way to ensure loyalty would be. Some mix between love and fear seems like a good idea but tough to say where exactly you wana fall on that spectrum.

Maybe I could try and unite some countries in southern (perhaps more central) America. I'm not sure if the U.S. would really allow something like that. I'd probably have to pretend it would be some extension of Israel or something and then have to find a way to get Netanyahu and some Israelis to agree they want me in power there.

Then AIPAC (and other jew lobbies) could perhaps be used to help raise a large sum of funds?
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:09 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)



Just quit. I'd try to foment a rebellion in my homeland.
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  #26  
Old 03-22-2012, 04:25 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

Quote:
Originally Posted by jator View Post
I want my own country. To go about this there are two ways I can think of doing it. Of course you could take one over with an army. But armies cost a ton of money, especially for one, or a few, people to come up with. Even then you would likely be hiring out some mercenary army, who, when shit hits the fan, would have no reason to remain loyal to you other than the money. What if some other guy has more of it?

I believe it would have to be done through some sort of diplomatic means (i.e. Hitler). You guys have any ideas for what countries it would be easy to do something similar to what he did? That way I could start working on learning their language and customs. It is beginning to look less impossible in the U.S. than it did at one time but I still don't think I could pull it off in the next 20 years (possible timeline, probably longer).

Anyone have any ideas on how to do this though? Maybe even an interest in doing so yourself? I could always use a right hand man, though I already have some ideas, and you would surely have to prove yourself quite trustworthy.

You would obviously have to make yourself appear quite trustworthy to the people. They would have to feel you have nothing but your best interests at hand. Indeed, you would have to be quite the actor, better than any of these clowns we see on t.v. (U.S. politicians, mind you- some are not horrible).

It would need to be a country in turmoil, start (or join) some radical political party that just appears to have the answers. Probably some nationalist party that would tell the population not only that they need to do these things to turn themselves around but that they have the right to be the best damn place on earth. Depending on how far you wanted to take the whole thing maybe even reason for expansion.

I almost wish I was arab as SOMEONE will eventually unite many of those countries; and I doubt it would be some white guy. I'm rambling, but what say you?

and ehh..sorry not sure if this is better here or der politik or something?
we could maybe starting by buying a ghost town. that way we are our own police and can guns anywhere. If we are strong and well-armed enough the cook county and state police would have to leave us alone. ex. Chicago pd...
they dont want war, lol we could probably join the national police frat and then....
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:26 PM
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Default Re: I wana become a dictator (lets become a dictator)

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Originally Posted by Tachosomoza View Post
Get close to the leader, have him deposed. Be sure to have a steady clique to help you maintain your grip. Get the propaganda running, and subtly deal with dissent.
you CANT just get close to a leader...try to get close to obama...were better off with a ghost town
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