Lesson by example: how to advertise your Daihatsu Feroza
"Let me start off by saying this Feroza is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). If it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Daihatsu would look like Tom Selleck.
It was never intended to drive to Rundle Mall so you can pick up that adorable Abercrombie & Finch shirt that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Home & Garden. That's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favour and stop reading right now.
This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or Bluetooth (real men don't even know what the hell Bluetooth is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 4cylinder 1.6L engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a fire extinguisher in the back. You know what the fire extinguisher is for? Fire! The Feroza also has a removable roof so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the back and drive with ease. It's saved my bacon more than once.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2800, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $200 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 240000km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me; it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name.