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  #1  
Old 02-17-2010, 07:44 PM
Giant Floating Space Cock Giant Floating Space Cock is offline
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Default Asshole boyfriend

So there's this friend I have who's a girl. I like her and i'd fuck her given the opportunity, but i'm not too obsessed over getting her. We once almost hooked up while we were stoned and she was practically asking me to kiss her... but I didn't because she has a boyfriend who I knew I would see almost every day. I would have gone for it if I knew what a cheating asshole he is. Yeah, he cheats on his girlfriend but nobody tells her because it's not their business.

I'm fine with just staying friends with her because she's one of my closest friends, however I fucking hate her boyfriend. Not because he's her boyfriend, but because he's such a dick I often fantasize about punching him in the face whenever I see him. I really regret not hooking up with his girlfriend just so I can have that satisfaction when he pisses me off. Because i'm such close friends with this girl I also happen to be around her boyfriend a fair amount of time. What are ways I can out-alpha male him and make him look like a dick in front of a girl he doesn't deserve?
  #2  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:09 PM
SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase is offline
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Fuck Her.
  #3  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:18 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Beat the shit out of him with a pipe. Nothing makes somebody look like an asshole as much as being stomped.

mike
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  #4  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:27 PM
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Grin Re: Asshole boyfriend

Fuck him then her. Then him again.
  #5  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:40 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

It sounds like she was ready to cheat on her ass of a boyfriend with you. Why should you be concerned with the fact that she's in a poor relationship when it doesn't even seem like she cares?
  #6  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:50 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

if it makes you feel better guys like this have self esteem problems.
  #7  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:55 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Confront him about the issue and tell him, as a good friend to her, you'll ter her if he doesnt shape up. In which case he might attack you and then you have your chance to kick his ass.
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  #8  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:59 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

It's pretty funny how he's a cheating asshole because he fucks other chicks, but because this chick is all over you it's okay. Sure, you said no, but from what you've said she would've gone along with it if you hadn't. Both of them are scumbags, so that balances it out. Sleeping with her would not be cheating.
  #9  
Old 02-17-2010, 10:38 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wood View Post
It's pretty funny how he's a cheating asshole because he fucks other chicks, but because this chick is all over you it's okay. Sure, you said no, but from what you've said she would've gone along with it if you hadn't. Both of them are scumbags, so that balances it out. Sleeping with her would not be cheating.
Word
  #10  
Old 02-17-2010, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

If you werent a little bit obsessed with her, you wouldnt come on here asking for advice, you would have just went for it given the chance.
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  #11  
Old 02-17-2010, 11:28 PM
SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase is offline
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Out of anything you could have done to her, you chose obsession.
  #12  
Old 02-18-2010, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Punch him in the face, tell her he cheats, and walk off with the most content feeling you have ever experienced.
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  #13  
Old 02-18-2010, 03:26 PM
Giant Floating Space Cock Giant Floating Space Cock is offline
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Why the fuck do I even bother making threads here? I have more fun just trolling like the rest of you cunts.
  #14  
Old 02-18-2010, 03:36 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant Floating Space Cock View Post
Why the fuck do I even bother making threads here? I have more fun just trolling like the rest of you cunts.
because you really don't know need advice for this topic from the internet.

Im sure you already know what everyone would tell you, either fight him, fuck her, tell her how you feel, or tell him how you feel, or forget about both of them.
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  #15  
Old 02-18-2010, 03:44 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Press a shotgun to his temple, and pull the trigger.
  #16  
Old 02-18-2010, 03:48 PM
Giant Floating Space Cock Giant Floating Space Cock is offline
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by backseat footjob View Post
because you really don't know need advice for this topic from the internet.

Im sure you already know what everyone would tell you, either fight him, fuck her, tell her how you feel, or tell him how you feel, or forget about both of them.
That's the best advice in this whole thread, thanks. I love the hilarious troll posts I really do, but I just wish more people could give serious advice. There are other ways to out-man somebody than just fighting them.

Yeah you're right about the topic, but it's nice to vent and get a few different perspectives/ideas.
  #17  
Old 02-18-2010, 03:51 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant Floating Space Cock View Post
That's the best advice in this whole thread, thanks. I love the hilarious troll posts I really do, but I just wish more people could give serious advice. There are other ways to out-man somebody than just fighting them.

Yeah you're right about the topic, but it's nice to vent and get a few different perspectives/ideas.
yeah my honest advice would be to talk to her about it and tell her that you don't like the way things are. But that's just what i would do in your situation.
  #18  
Old 02-18-2010, 04:10 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

P.I.H.B.
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  #19  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:11 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

You're out of fucking luck, either steal her from him (which still might not work, believe me) or fight him. Nothing else is going to cut it. She likes the douchebag and nothing you do is going to change it. Many women are like this, that is one of the many reasons women are stupid.
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oh, very. So mad that i have over $ 400 mill rolling in liquid funds in my bank account and 20 billions dollars worth of companies, too. so mad
  #20  
Old 02-20-2010, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Dress up like a girl and try to seduce him in front of his girlfriend.

No wait, I have a better idea.

GHB the fucker and then dress up like a girlfriend and have sex with him making sure his girlfriend will walk in on you.
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  #21  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:12 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

1) GTFO out of the forums.

2) Let your balls drop.
  #22  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:17 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Fuck them both for maximum drama.
  #23  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:23 AM
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Mad Re: Asshole boyfriend

Do a rape on her with your giant floating space cock.
  #24  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Have satisfaction that his girlfriend wanted to get with you. He got pwz0r3d.
  #25  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:32 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger View Post
Do a rape on her with your giant floating space cock.
I also recommend this.
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Originally Posted by captain falcon
oh, very. So mad that i have over $ 400 mill rolling in liquid funds in my bank account and 20 billions dollars worth of companies, too. so mad
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  #26  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:41 AM
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Arrow Re: Asshole boyfriend

First, convince at least two of the other people that know he cheats on her to testify to this and have them available to call or record them saying they've witnessed this or know of it. If you can get some of the girls he's cheated with to do so, even fucking better.

Next, wait until the girl in question and asshole boyfriend are together and you're around them. Tell him right to his face in front of her that he's a scumbag asshole and then tell her that he's been cheating on her and you have names of other people that have known about this and are willing to back you up on the allegations. Call them or play the recording of them if necessary.

Then tell her how you feel about her and that you really wanted to be with her the night the two of you nearly kissed but didn't out of respect for someone who didn't even deserve it. Tell her you're tired of seeing him treat her like that and tell him to fuck off. If he tries to pull shit on you, hit him in the face with a tire iron.

Take the girl out for a nice dinner afterward and eat her poon.
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  #27  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:47 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

OP--you will most likely get nowhere trying to "out-asshole" the guy, which is what will happen if you follow most of the "advice" proffered here.

How about this? Act like a mature adult.
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  #28  
Old 02-21-2010, 12:57 AM
SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase SteveMcQueenFmousCarChase is offline
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

And fuck her.
  #29  
Old 05-03-2012, 06:33 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unwyred View Post
Next, wait until the girl in question and asshole boyfriend are together and you're around them. Tell him right to his face in front of her that he's a scumbag asshole and then tell her that he's been cheating on her and you have names of other people that have known about this and are willing to back you up on the allegations.
Okay.
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  #30  
Old 05-03-2012, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

Lanny Rulez

Last edited by Stun Cunted; 07-24-2012 at 12:12 AM.
  #31  
Old 05-03-2012, 07:12 AM
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Default Re: Asshole boyfriend

I gotta admit; I lolled. Hahaha
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