DIY Frenectomy.

[Myxomatosis]

How exactly would I go about doing this?

I want my tongue to be long and shit. Like a snake's tongue.

I want to freak women out

[Spatula Tzar]

The proper way to slice the tongue is with a laser. Since I doubt you have a medical grade laser on hand, or the skill to use it on yourself while in severe pain, you'll have to settle for a knife. This is a type of wound which would require either stitches or cauterization as well. If you're determined, practice suturing on a cow tongue for a while first. Otherwise, best get a professional to do it for you.

There's another way to lengthen your tongue though. Since the organ is a muscular hydrostat--a group of muscles squeezing themselves to change shape--all you need are some simple exercises. Stick your tongue out as far as you can, and hold it there. Then reach back as far as you can in your mouth and hold. Keep this up as often as you can remember. The latter can be done in public, and no one will know.

After stretching, the frenulum will burn slightly, exactly like any other muscle you've been exercising. If it's too sore to continue, rest for a day and start again. Soon you should be able to feel the back of your throat with your tongue. Things will progress quickly from there. The sensation will be so interesting, you'll be doing this exercise twenty times a day. Shortly after, you'll be able to reach all the way into your nasal cavity.

From this will come with a longer, stronger, and more flexible tongue.

[Myxomatosis]

Originally Posted by Spatula Tzar

The proper way to slice the tongue is with a laser. Since I doubt you have a medical grade laser on hand, or the skill to use it on yourself while in severe pain, you'll have to settle for a knife. This is a type of wound which would require either stitches or cauterization as well. If you're determined, practice suturing on a cow tongue for a while first. Otherwise, best get a professional to do it for you.

There's another way to lengthen your tongue though. Since the organ is a muscular hydrostat--a group of muscles squeezing themselves to change shape--all you need are some simple exercises. Stick your tongue out as far as you can, and hold it there. Then reach back as far as you can in your mouth and hold. Keep this up as often as you can remember. The latter can be done in public, and no one will know.

After stretching, the frenulum will burn slightly, exactly like any other muscle you've been exercising. If it's too sore to continue, rest for a day and start again. Soon you should be able to feel the back of your throat with your tongue. Things will progress quickly from there. The sensation will be so interesting, you'll be doing this exercise twenty times a day. Shortly after, you'll be able to reach all the way into your nasal cavity.

From this will come with a longer, stronger, and more flexible tongue.

And this longer tongue - will it freak the women out?

[13579]

Originally Posted by Spatula Tzar

There's another way to lengthen your tongue though. Since the organ is a muscular hydrostat--a group of muscles squeezing themselves to change shape--all you need are some simple exercises. Stick your tongue out as far as you can, and hold it there. Then reach back as far as you can in your mouth and hold. Keep this up as often as you can remember. The latter can be done in public, and no one will know.

After stretching, the frenulum will burn slightly, exactly like any other muscle you've been exercising. If it's too sore to continue, rest for a day and start again. Soon you should be able to feel the back of your throat with your tongue. Things will progress quickly from there. The sensation will be so interesting, you'll be doing this exercise twenty times a day. Shortly after, you'll be able to reach all the way into your nasal cavity.

From this will come with a longer, stronger, and more flexible tongue.

Are...you serious? I can't tell...

Always looking for a way to maky my lady happier

[moron]

Originally Posted by Spatula Tzar

From this will come with a longer, stronger, and more flexible tongue.

Are you serious? That's pretty cool, might give it a shot....

[Myxomatosis]

My tongue will be built

Bitchez love built tongues

[Spatula Tzar]

Yes, I'm serious. I've been doing it for years, and it works very well.

[patrickyugo]

lookup artic laser

[JustinBieberz]

Originally Posted by patrickyugo

lookup artic laser

Not quite strong enough to burn through tissue in a reasonable amount of time

[13579]

Originally Posted by patrickyugo

lookup artic laser

Friend of mine has one, we used it to start a large bonfire at my house.

[m.060.mm]

Originally Posted by Spatula Tzar

This is a type of wound which would require either stitches or cauterization as well.

For what it's worth, internet anecdata says that a.) this can be done at home with a blade, resulting in modest pain and modest bleeding that quickly ceases. The impression I get is that it's the shock of seeing a decent amount of blood, but pressure quickly alleviates the bleeding. (Assuming you've done it right and haven't nicked any important arteries.)

Originally Posted by Spatula Tzar

After stretching, the frenulum will burn slightly, exactly like any other muscle you've been exercising. If it's too sore to continue, rest for a day and start again.

I think the frenulum is connective tissue, not muscle. Also, in my experience at least, there isn't pain until the next day. I haven't done exercises - this is just with.. use.