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  #1  
Old 05-08-2012, 03:28 AM
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DJ Meaty Cheeks DJ Meaty Cheeks is offline
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Default touch from ex

So an ex of mine has agreed to give me therapeutic touch, at the average going prices because I've got serious touch hunger and psychological issues that TM helps with.

We've been good friends for a long time, and save one tragically isolated incident, there's been no casual sex. We've talked about it several times, and she generally says she's just not down for it. Says it wouldn't be fair to bond like that with someone who isn't going to be her kid's father. (I didn't sire the kid - single moms - ) But she is single right now, and I'm desperate. I don't want to do anything unethical, and I want to remain friends; think there's any way I could talk my way into making some massages into some handjobs or more? Or is it just not worth even bothering?
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  #2  
Old 05-08-2012, 07:33 AM
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Mirana Mirana is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

You're doing it wrong. Don't pay that bitch SHIT.

If you wanna get laid shes gotta know you have money to buy her things if you want sex.

lmao "average going prices"
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  #3  
Old 05-08-2012, 07:53 AM
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Default Re: touch from ex

does it involve her sucking your dick?
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  #4  
Old 05-08-2012, 07:30 PM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by slicknickns View Post
does it involve her sucking your dick?
I wish. She's broke as hell so desperate for $$$.
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  #5  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:56 PM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Yes you are wasting your time.
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  #6  
Old 05-09-2012, 12:04 AM
RealGangstaAssNigga RealGangstaAssNigga is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpheus View Post
We've been good friends for a long time
Lol, a good friend of yours is charging you for a massage. My female friends wouldn't hesitate if I just asked politely. You suck.
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  #7  
Old 05-09-2012, 07:56 AM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by RealGangstaAssNigga View Post
Lol, a good friend of yours is charging you for a massage. My female friends wouldn't hesitate if I just asked politely. You suck.
Ya tell me something I don't know brah.
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  #8  
Old 05-09-2012, 08:01 AM
BITCH TITZ BITCH TITZ is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

ur lucky no matter how many times I even call or text my ex drunk as fuck she doesn't answer I wish I could get a touch from ex but wouldn't pay for it
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  #9  
Old 05-10-2012, 05:12 AM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by BITCH TITZ View Post
ur lucky no matter how many times I even call or text my ex drunk as fuck she doesn't answer I wish I could get a touch from ex but wouldn't pay for it
Well she has yet to actually give me a massage, supposedly next week though, and I believe her, that she's not just feeling sorry me in that I'm such a terrible anxious loser that I can't even go in for a professional massage. I've tried - and I chicken out every time, I get this visceral repulsion.

Awkward erection part should be lulz though since there's no way in hell I'll be able to stay flaccid as my body still remembers every time mmm yeah. I can't seem to avoid the vain hope she'll feel sorry for me and stroke me off, even though I know it won't happen and it's probably for the best.

What I should do is go downtown and find me a methed out hooker who'll do $10 handjobs.

Fuck man.
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  #10  
Old 05-10-2012, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Mmmm yeah, I can always dream like an idiot.
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  #11  
Old 05-10-2012, 07:58 AM
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Kwinnie Bogan Kwinnie Bogan is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

Im in downtown right now, the methed out hookers are $30..
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  #12  
Old 05-10-2012, 09:34 AM
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpheus View Post
idiot.
Yep, first thing you got right in this thread.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kwinnie Bogan View Post
Im in downtown right now, the methed out hookers are $30..
AUD vs USD is fairly close these days, and $30USD is a bit high for a BJ from a low quality hooker (generally not meth, but heroin here,) but a rather good rate for Full Service. For a handjob, who the FUCK would bother hiring a hooker for a handjob, other than quadriplegics or hand-amputees??
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Old 05-10-2012, 06:02 PM
Leshrac Leshrac is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

If you're in the US, order scopolamine from mexico.

8 to 10 mg in a glass of whatever you'll gladly offer her for kindly visiting you and things get rolling.

She'll be an obedient sex slave for about 24 hours, pass out and wake up (generally) after 24-30 hours with no memory (scopolamine zaps out the portion of the brain allowing someone to remember things).

Advice 1) NO ALCOHOL or it will have completely opposite effects, the chick will go batshit insane on you.

Advice 2) DO NOT EVER GO OVER 12 mg or risk having to deal with a dead body. Lethal dose is usually around 16-20 but females have a lower tolerance level.

Advice 3) Bring her back at her place before the effects wear off and order her to relax and sleep.

If all goes right she'll even phone you when she wakes up to apologize for not coming (your part of the job being to convince her she "dreamed up" the part where she came to your place).
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:49 AM
NTP NTP is offline
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Facepalm Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshrac View Post
If you're in the US, order scopolamine from mexico.

8 to 10 mg in a glass of whatever you'll gladly offer her for kindly visiting you and things get rolling.

She'll be an obedient sex slave for about 24 hours, pass out and wake up (generally) after 24-30 hours with no memory (scopolamine zaps out the portion of the brain allowing someone to remember things).

Advice 1) NO ALCOHOL or it will have completely opposite effects, the chick will go batshit insane on you.

Advice 2) DO NOT EVER GO OVER 12 mg or risk having to deal with a dead body. Lethal dose is usually around 16-20 but females have a lower tolerance level.

Advice 3) Bring her back at her place before the effects wear off and order her to relax and sleep.

If all goes right she'll even phone you when she wakes up to apologize for not coming (your part of the job being to convince her she "dreamed up" the part where she came to your place).
Lol yeah it MIGHT work until the part where she wakes up. She will remember being totally coherent while you offer he a drink and next thing she knows she wakes up.
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  #15  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:10 AM
Leshrac Leshrac is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by NTP View Post
Lol yeah it MIGHT work until the part where she wakes up. She will remember being totally coherent while you offer he a drink and next thing she knows she wakes up.
The good thing about that drug is that the affected person can not realize they've been drugged.

It fucks around with the perception of reality. Whatever you'll end up seeing/doing while high on that will seem perfectly normal and coherent, even if in reality you have squat control over what goes on.

It's pretty interesting shit and I've experienced with it a few times, ran a sort of "clinical trial" of sorts on friends who were willing to test it and it worked on 6 cases out of 7. One couldn't even remember we emptied his bank account for shits and giggles.

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  #16  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:14 AM
Miley Highrus Miley Highrus is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

How quickly one can go from paying for sex to be accused of poisoning/rape.
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2012, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: touch from ex

dont chase replace
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  #18  
Old 05-25-2012, 06:19 AM
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DJ Meaty Cheeks DJ Meaty Cheeks is offline
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Default Re: touch from ex

Well nothing happened save an ok massage. For a badly obese woman whose big career plan is 'sell my friendship for money' (ie only one step up from prostitution, which she would have done several times in her life if she wasn't so obese) you'd think she would have solicited me or something. Damn I'm a stupid looser.
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