Fuck the giddy stage

[Tinted Glass]

I've noticed a pattern in myself recently. It seems as if relationships are only good and feel like they're going right during the first few weeks or so. Then the comfort sets in and nobody is trying to impress the other one anymore. Unfortunately, because of some past events, I'm insecure and question whether or not the person I'm with likes me as much, or cares as much as they once did, when logically, the reverse is true. They care more now that we've been together longer and established ourselves as a couple.

I want to break this pattern in my brain. I don't want to fuck up every relationship I have because I'm constantly questioning if I'm loved and/or cared about.

It feels like there is half of me that understands that yes, we are together, we don't have to be in constant contact and fawning over each other to be happy, but there is still the part that wonders why we don't talk as much as we did in the beginning.

The reason I'm even bothering posting this here, is the majority of you are males. I keep getting the same shit from my female friends, and I realize their advice won't help because at the core, we all pretty much are the same.

So, what I'm wanting here, is advice, ideas, suggestions, I mean anything really.

I'm making myself crazy with constantly worrying. Fucking cell phones have been murder on relationships in my opinion.

As females, we all seem glued to ours. Males seem to be able to leave it in the car or another room for hours and not even miss it.

Help?

[36fuckin5]

This is likely the result of a much deeper issue. Figure out what that is, fix it, then you can move on.

[Tinted Glass]

Originally Posted by 36fuckin5

This is likely the result of a much deeper issue. Figure out what that is, fix it, then you can move on.

Yeah I'm obviously damaged, but the question is, can I have both?

Is it possible to hang on to him while I'm fixing myself?

[36fuckin5]

Probably not in any healthy way.

[Mirana]

You're probably just not that interesting of a person if you run out of things to talk about. You should be more interesting.

[Ghost Buster]

Women care too much about their relationships. I blame Disney.

Also OP you seem to be answering your own questions. I'd tell you you're an insecure retard but apparently you already know that so I'm not sure what advice you hope to get. Stop being an insecure retard.

[Psychotogen]

Consulting the internet your first instinct? Great idea.

[Blunderstar]

Originally Posted by Tinted Glass

I've noticed a pattern in myself recently. It seems as if relationships are only good and feel like they're going right during the first few weeks or so. Then the comfort sets in and nobody is trying to impress the other one anymore. Unfortunately, because of some past events, I'm insecure and question whether or not the person I'm with likes me as much, or cares as much as they once did, when logically, the reverse is true. They care more now that we've been together longer and established ourselves as a couple.

I want to break this pattern in my brain. I don't want to fuck up every relationship I have because I'm constantly questioning if I'm loved and/or cared about.

It feels like there is half of me that understands that yes, we are together, we don't have to be in constant contact and fawning over each other to be happy, but there is still the part that wonders why we don't talk as much as we did in the beginning.

The reason I'm even bothering posting this here, is the majority of you are males. I keep getting the same shit from my female friends, and I realize their advice won't help because at the core, we all pretty much are the same.

So, what I'm wanting here, is advice, ideas, suggestions, I mean anything really.

I'm making myself crazy with constantly worrying. Fucking cell phones have been murder on relationships in my opinion.

As females, we all seem glued to ours. Males seem to be able to leave it in the car or another room for hours and not even miss it.

Help?

Holy shit, a talking duck.

Okay, seriously, here's the truth. Your boyfriends don't actually care about you. The only reason they're with you is a combination of lonliness, the social desire to be in a relationship, and the fact that they can unload their protein into your mouth and whatnot. You're nothing to them, even if they won't admit it. How's that for an answer, Daisy?

Haha, goddamn, you don't believe me, do you? You think there's something more to your little disney-driven relationships. You make me sick. Just look online - look at all of the "tits of gtfo" posts. Look at all of the misogynsim and PUA guides. Then there's the guys who really do quest for a real relationship - but they've just been influenced by this society to think that way. They're all young, as well - you'll never find an intelligent 30+ male trying to find his true love. It's all bunny.meatballs and abbods being driven by their hormones. If they really believed in true love, they wouldn't exclude the possibilities of finding it in a man or fat chick. I honestly would love the ideal fairytale relationship to exist - but men aren't programmed that way. That isn't nature.

I'd love for you to finally see the truth, Tinted Glass. But you won't. Denial is what gives our lives meaning. Fuck, I could go on about this forever - the idea that you'll finally be persuaded into seeing the truth, sending your life into a spiral of feminist man-hating is pleasing to me, but... I've lost interest.

I'll tl;dr everything so far for you though, and put your mind at ease...

Originally Posted by Tinted Glass

I don't want to fuck up every relationship I have because I'm constantly questioning if I'm loved and/or cared about.

You're not.

Everything is pointless, don't you see? It's all a massive joke. See the funny side, Daisy. Stop putting so much thought into relationships, because there's no real logic or reasoning behind them. That's all there is to it.

[Ghost Buster]

Originally Posted by Blunderstar

Holy shit, a talking duck.

Okay, seriously, here's the truth. Your boyfriends don't actually care about you. The only reason they're with you is a combination of lonliness, the social desire to be in a relationship, and the fact that they can unload their protein into your mouth and whatnot. You're nothing to them, even if they won't admit it. How's that for an answer, daisy?

Girls date guys for the same rational.

[Tinted Glass]

Originally Posted by Ghost Buster

Women care too much about their relationships. I blame Disney.

Also OP you seem to be answering your own questions. I'd tell you you're an insecure retard but apparently you already know that so I'm not sure what advice you hope to get. Stop being an insecure retard.

More looking for advice on how to stop being such an insecure retard.

Originally Posted by Psychotogen

Consulting the internet your first instinct? Great idea.

Notice the part where I mentioned talking to my female friends about it.

[Proots]

Quack, quack, quack?


Couldn't resist, either. Welcome back! I suffered from that problem for a bit, too. Not everything you described, but - I liked the idea of meeting someone new and the excitement and elation you feel as you have fun together and get to know one another.

As soon as things would plateau, I'd break it off - which, is foolish because now that I look back on it, I'm sure I made a mistake a time or two.

The truth is, you just need to stop getting worked up. Don't think that many steps ahead. Take a deep breath, relax and be glad you're with someone you like. As long as they enjoy your company - and don't do anything to prove otherwise, what do you have to be worried about?

[Akagi]

Originally Posted by Blunderstar

...Then there's the guys who really do quest for a real relationship - but they've just been influenced by this society to think that way. They're all young, as well - you'll never find an intelligent 30+ male trying to find his true love.

I'm going to be 30 in a couple of months. So while I technically don't meet the age range, I'm otherwise an exception.

If they really believed in true love, they wouldn't exclude the possibilities of finding it in a man or fat chick.

Can't find it in a man because I'm heterosexual and incapable of feeling drawn to another male in that capacity. I'm currently with a fat chick. We knew each other for several years prior before she was fat, and recently we've been seeing each other. She had expressed a desire to lose weight & get back in shape again. I've got a few extra pounds myself that I'm trying to lose so it's no huge deal. While the person can't be repulsive/there has to be some physical attraction there, I'm more into their personality & character than their looks. Looks don't do all that much for me because I realize how superficial & transient they are and how often negative personality traits correlate with good looks/men tripping over their dicks around them all the time feeding their ego & cultivating bad characteristics.

[Tinted Glass]

Originally Posted by Proots

Quack, quack, quack?


Couldn't resist, either. Welcome back! I suffered from that problem for a bit, too. Not everything you described, but - I liked the idea of meeting someone new and the excitement and elation you feel as you have fun together and get to know one another.

As soon as things would plateau, I'd break it off - which, is foolish because now that I look back on it, I'm sure I made a mistake a time or two.

The truth is, you just need to stop getting worked up. Don't think that many steps ahead. Take a deep breath, relax and be glad you're with someone you like. As long as they enjoy your company - and don't do anything to prove otherwise, what do you have to be worried about?

Haha thanks, yeah, I'm not sure how long I'll be back this time, can't be too long before they turn my internet off again.

I'm thinking maybe a couple new hobbies would help out as well. Girls tend to fixate much more on relationships than guys I've noticed.

[moron]

Originally Posted by Tinted Glass

relationships are only good and feel like they're going right during the first few weeks or so

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

[Proots]

Originally Posted by Tinted Glass

Haha thanks, yeah, I'm not sure how long I'll be back this time, can't be too long before they turn my internet off again.

I'm thinking maybe a couple new hobbies would help out as well. Girls tend to fixate much more on relationships than guys I've noticed.

Hobbies are great. The problem is - a lot of people make relationships their hobby. And like anything, if you focus too much on it and obsess and scrutinize, of course that's going to put a negative spin on things.

Try getting into books. Nothing occupies the mind better than reading a book.

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Do they get drunk, beat you and throat rape you at 5AM like your daddy used to?

[Sir Cornwell]

How do you feel about scientific evidence that hormones/oxytocin/adrenaline follow a predictable path in a relationship? That the many people keep switching up partners for the fresh rush it brings are just addicts?

That obsessing over another person just like a junkie over smack is just as wack?

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell

How do you feel about scientific evidence that hormones/oxytocin/adrenaline follow a predictable path in a relationship? That the many people keep switching up partners for the fresh rush it brings are just addicts?

That obsessing over another person just like a junkie over smack is just as wack?

I've heard many people tell me; "But if you don't live for these feelings and emotions, then why live at all?".

Yes, junkies. Socially conditioned junkies as well. Their addictions are used to control them, drive them into wage slavery, fight wars and so on. By the people who are also junkies, and are only trying to stay on top for evolutionary reasons, controlled by their genes.

And the people that seemingly aren't? Generally, they are freaks, which exposes them to the argument "yeah, they are weird because they can't get laid (as much)".

Which is why my goal is to be "normal", as in clearly capable of pursuing what they think is important, but instead doing my own thing. At the very least that would confuse them, which is fun, but also might prove to myself that free will does exist after all. Also, make the world slightly less boring for myself, as it is pointless either way.

Through every work of fiction, humans have been trying to convince themselves that something bigger and more important is going on; starting from religion, and ending with video games, where big stuff happens and the main character is really important. Yet it's only an illusion. Life is so brief, that nothing really matters. If you think otherwise, ask Steve Jobs. Imagine how he felt before he died. He seemingly had everything - money, power, and in a fictional universe that would kick ass. But in real life, does it matter? If he was a penniless homeless guy out in the streets, or only working 3 days a week earning enough to live on, what difference would it have made?

Many desire to overcome their biology. Get control over their bodies - things like mind uploading, get control over their feelings and emotions, take control of their lives. But if you take away our biology, is anything left at all?

Even today, so many are living in a state of ennui it's really disturbing. Most don't show it to others in social situations, but when left alone for any period of time? And what is the real "them" - the one defined through social context, or the one you would see if they were left in isolation, or in a situation where they are not pressured into anything by the context (like in social situations) - say, posting on a message board, where they are completely socially free to do anything and to define themselves as anything?

"Life is just a dream".

[Sir Cornwell]

Life may be a dream but...

*JeffreyH makes a mistake/bad decision becomes pregnant says, "This can't be happening, it must be a dream, a nightmare. If I just wait I'll wake up". Then he finds hisself alone, shunned, a single mother living in a trailer park. Waiting to wake up*

[moron]

Originally Posted by JeffreyH

socially conditioned junkies