Doesn't seem dumb to me. If a guy spends time to write a misinformed/idiotic article on one art form, not valuing his opinion on other art forms makes sense. This is a man who gave Gigli more stars than The Usual Suspects. If you enjoy him, that's fine, but many of us think he's a misinformed moron who's lucky to have anyone take him seriously.
I feel Prometheus is going to bomb like The Thing did.
Following the plethora of viewers whi didn't liked the Prometheus prequel, it is obvious that the history is repeating again. The same thing happened with The Thing prequel.
Months before the release of it, people started wondering if it was a prequel or a sequel, and at the end The Thing was unable even to equalize revenues for the investment.
Which brings us today at the premiere of Prometheus, first people wondering if it is a prequel, or a standalone moive, and at the end a lot of viewers admitiing they didn't liked it a lot, or evn worse, saying it was a waste of time and money.
Let's see how bad / good the revenues will be...
Who cares what you feel, you are a person who puts weight in the opinions of other people. Go blow a french dude and let us watch our movies.
I thought the cinematography and design of the movie was great. There was some issues with the script however that made for some lol moments. The 3d was good as well. Overall I thought it was a good movie. I think the whole "Alien prequel" thing kinda hurt the movie. Although it is in the same universe as Alien, and it also takes place before it, it's not exactly a direct prequel. It has more to do with the origin of the Xenomorphs and a little back story on the Space Jockey. Perhaps Prometheus 2 will more directly tie into the first Alien movie, which I can't wait for by the way.
This was literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
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"Crazyass could be a disease ridden orphan with shit for genes but because he's white you instantly accept that his are superior to yours?" - FON
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Zero character development, zero plot development, nothing. Seriously, not a single event actually contributed to anything meaningful in the film. A random string of events were glued together.
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"Crazyass could be a disease ridden orphan with shit for genes but because he's white you instantly accept that his are superior to yours?" - FON
What the fuck is going on here?
So they spend 200+ million making this goddamn movie, and it's just... no better than Weekend At Bernies?
Guess I'll stick to my torrents instead of going to the theaters
What the fuck is going on here?
So they spend 200+ million making this goddamn movie, and it's just... no better than Weekend At Bernies?
Guess I'll stick to my torrents instead of going to the theaters
Shut up, comparing this to Weekend at Bernie's? Americans are so fucking stupid.
Zero character development, zero plot development, nothing. Seriously, not a single event actually contributed to anything meaningful in the film. A random string of events were glued together.
While I do agree it was lacking in character development, I don't know about the rest. This was basically the origin story of the Xenomorphs (along with humans I guess too) tied together with some awesome visuals. Both of those were pretty awesome to me.
While I do agree it was lacking in character development, I don't know about the rest. This was basically the origin story of the Xenomorphs (along with humans I guess too) tied together with some awesome visuals. Both of those were pretty awesome to me.
That's why I was so excited to see it. The origins of Xenomorphs is an awesome concept to explore...except it's done so terribly I can't appreciate it.
If someone walked up to you on the street and said "Oh yeah, Xenomorphs? They're genetically engineered by another race" and then walked away, that is the "awe" I experienced from the story.
There were some things I liked, I don't mean to sound like I'm hating on it too much unnecessarily. The two pilots and the captain. Those three were badasses but had pretty much zero screen time. Michael Fassbender also portrayed David brilliantly. But the downsides were too damn much. I'll break some of it down. Be warned, this will probably be long. I was looking forward to an Alien-level quality movie and was sorely disappointed.
1. The script was terrible. Absolutely terrible. I know Vickers had an agenda and they had to point that out somehow, but the way they did it was terrible.
She tells Shaw and her fuckbuddy that if they encounter alien life to not touch or communicate with it and to simply report back immediately. THIS IS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA. For a bunch of scientists, these guys are jackasses. They immediately accuse her of having an "agenda". All she was doing was telling them to do what ANY scientific expedition to find alien life would do. Observe briefly, then get out. Plan, then do it again. Gradually get more data. Not "take off your fucking helmet in an environment that could easily become uninhabitable again at the blink of an eye".
There are countless instances of poor storytelling similar to this throughout the movie.
2. The "agenda" was goddamn retarded. Oh, her dad was onboard to meet the aliens? Wow, what a conspiracy. They make out her and David to be conspiring to do all this evil shit (which David does; why the fuck did he contaminate fuckbuddy? It didn't help with the search at all); All of that conspiracy and tension resolved in the old man making about five minutes of screen time before being senselessly killed (like everyone else). There was no point to that. They brought him into the film to instantly be killed and to achieve nothing else. And the whole agenda plot, which I thought would redeem the film, was bullshit.
3. Also on topic of pointless things, the geography and biology guys were killed near the beginning. Perfect. That had to be done. That was the sign to the audience that shit was getting real. The crew didn't know but the audience did. Great. That's tension for you. Well done...
...then the geography guy comes back for NO fucking reason whatsoever. If he had shown up immediately after getting infected and before anyone else had, it would be good. They'd be like "hey, where you been-OH FUCKING JESUS" and yeah, so on and so forth. But no, after they already know shit is fucked up he randomly appears partway through the movie and kills some random people before getting killed. I guess they realized they had too many people left and had to get rid of them before the end so they threw in a random, pointless attack.
4. Shaw is retarded and a cunt. She convinces the captain and crew to sacrifice themselves to stop the alien from destroying Earth (one of the few good parts), and then IMMEDIATELY DOES SOMETHING THAT WILL RESULT IN THE DESTRUCTION OF EARTH.
She takes a ship full of weapons of mass destruction and flies to the alien homeworld. This race, which has left humans alone finally for whatever reason, is going to see a human piloting a ship full of bio-nukes straight at them. She will be immediately killed and it will likely be interpreted as an attack on them from Earth. So convince people to die for Earth and then immediately undo their sacrifice. Because "you deserve to know why they hate you." I agree with David, it doesn't fucking matter. They probably hate humans because we're a god-awful species. There are a billion reasons to hate us. Like writers that penned this movie.
5. Everyone in this movie has insane daddy issues. "why did they abandon us buhuhuhuhuh". Who. Fucking. Cares. Will science hopefully explain our origins one day? Sure, it's a fascinating topic. But at this point, they all know aliens engineered them. Okay. Cool. Does it really matter why they don't like them? Not really. Everyone was overreacting unnecessarily. It didn't seem plausible anymore.
6. Every potentially good feature of the movie turned out to never happen. David experiencing emotions? Hinted at, never addressed. Vickers having a meaningful agenda? Nope. The alien at the beginning in the same position as Shaw and so commits suicide (which you could spin into something about human spirit, etc etc)? Nope, he does it to impregnate the planet (which is dumb).
There is basically no plot, no character development, no literary devices whatsoever, and nothing anyone does makes any sense. In conclusion, fuck this movie.
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"Crazyass could be a disease ridden orphan with shit for genes but because he's white you instantly accept that his are superior to yours?" - FON
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Which, in itself doesn't help the issue. Smart people pirate movies and watch them for free. Therefore, only dumb people pay to see movies.
Because of this, movies are then made for dumb people (target audience) and thus, you have nothing but dumb movies.
WHERE DOES IT END!?
Well, I don't know I hardly ever watch anything from Hollywood. There's millions of movies from all over the world that are epic. Why should I care about the NWO's propaganda machine?
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Motherfuckers Gonna Drop The Pressure
Well, I don't know I hardly ever watch anything from Hollywood. There's millions of movies from all over the world that are epic. Why should I care about the NWO's propaganda machine?
You aren't interested in what the rich kykes from America want you to believe through a poorly put together film?
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STRANGE PROOTS, KILL WHAT'S INSIDE OF YOU.
I watched this yesterday. It was meh overall. The overall narrative was pretty good but the characters all seemed quite disposable and I was indifferent when they died.
This movie was shittier than Terminator: Salvation. Fucking Cowboys and Aliens would have been a better prequel to Alien. It felt like it was written by a 5th grader.
Male Scientist: "What it must be like to create life?"
Female"Scientist: "Is this about me not being able to have children?"
This movie was shittier than Terminator: Salvation. Fucking Cowboys and Aliens would have been a better prequel to Alien. It felt like it was written by a 5th grader.
Male Scientist: "What it must be like to create life?"
Female"Scientist: "Is this about me not being able to have children?"
lololol this
I looked up the writer. He's a shithead.
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"Crazyass could be a disease ridden orphan with shit for genes but because he's white you instantly accept that his are superior to yours?" - FON
This movie was shittier than Terminator: Salvation. Fucking Cowboys and Aliens would have been a better prequel to Alien. It felt like it was written by a 5th grader.
Male Scientist: "What it must be like to create life?"
Female"Scientist: "Is this about me not being able to have children?"
You facepalm, but I've had conversations like this and worse in real life. But then again, I'm a known asshole among my friends and acquaintances and they consider everything I say as some underhand attempt to hurt their character. I'm not really like that all the time though. Just when they deserve it. But that doesn't stop them from stereotyping me as a global asshole all the time.
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Motherfuckers Gonna Drop The Pressure
Which, in itself doesn't help the issue. Smart people pirate movies and watch them for free. Therefore, only dumb people pay to see movies.
You don't like sitting in a theater with a 100 other people and having your mind move with thoughts as to what happens next with plot or why a character acts a certain way? Are you really that fucking arrogant and full of yourself? Your Greekness should shame you.
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"slicknickns I appreciate the content but dude, lay off the meth and give your dick a rest." http://www.zoklet.net/bbs/showpost.php?p=3696966&postcount=2165
"Greatest thread ever! Never fapped so much." - Oct
You don't like sitting in a theater with a 100 other people and having your mind move with thoughts as to what happens next with plot or why a character acts a certain way? Are you really that fucking arrogant and full of yourself? Your Greekness should shame you.
No, no, no - you misunderstand me, proots.
I was only posing the problem as Snoopy sees it. I go and see movies all the time.
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STRANGE PROOTS, KILL WHAT'S INSIDE OF YOU.
Okay, I didn't watch the movie but it does look pretty bad. I read this TR FAQ on it and yeah. Just yeah. For those of you that didn't see it and want to I'll put some of the highlights behind this spoiler.
...which explains a lot of things -- including why the Engineers started hating us.
And why's that?
Because we killed Jesus.
...
Seriously.
What does this have to do with Jesus?
In the movie, Noomi says the Engineers died 2000 years ago, and if you accept the idea that the black goop responds to feelings, something must have upset the Engineers 2,000 years ago. The theory continues that this event, and the event that made the Engineers start wanting to beat us to death with Michael Fassbender is one and the same -- the Engineers took a look on Earth circa 0 A.D. and saw all the fighting and sent a representative to tell everybody to chill out.
And then humanity crucified him, and the Engineers freaked the fuck out, triggering Goopocalypse.
Yes.
That's fucking insane.
It is. But what's more insane is that Space Jesus was actually part of the Prometheus script at one point before Ridley Scott took it out.
Okay, I see two problems with this: 1) Jesus was never referred to a giant bald pale blue dude.
True, although might explain why everybody thinks a Middle Eastern Jew born in the first century was white.
2) If Ridley took it out, then this theory shouldn't matter, right?
Except that he didn't replace it with anything. As the movie stands, we have no idea why the Engineers started hating us or got themselves killed 2,000 years ago. This is the only answer I've heard suggested -- and it works out remarkable well with the author's theory on the black goop. Basically, there's a weird, Space Jesus-sized hole in the plot, and once you learn that potential answer, it's hard to see an alternative, because the movie's only answer is random insanity.
So yeah, this script sounded bad. Not as bad as the first one that got leaked almost half a decade ago that had the xenomorphs being genetically engineered ants made by two homosexuals in space. But still preeetttty bad. Though I do look forward to seeing that abortion scene when I do finally see it!
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Okay, I didn't watch the movie but it does look pretty bad. I read this TR FAQ on it and yeah. Just yeah. For those of you that didn't see it and want to I'll put some of the highlights behind this spoiler.
So yeah, this script sounded bad. Not as bad as the first one that got leaked almost half a decade ago that had the xenomorphs being genetically engineered ants made by two homosexuals in space. But still preeetttty bad. Though I do look forward to seeing that abortion scene when I do finally see it!
This review was hilarious. Thanx fo the lulz...
Here is another review criticizing Prometheus in a serious way:
Personally, I enjoyed it. Got jewed for the 3D showing (15 bucks!) but I'm not complaining (maybe i enjoyed it or maybe i just have money)
Dialogue was definitely weak, but that's not why I went to see this movie. I only saw Alien when I was a kid so I don't even know if it had "great dialogue"
Character development wasn't great either. Like... were the guy and girl scientist dating the whole time? Or just from when he kissed her? And really, Charlize Theron had to be a royal cunt the whole fucking movie? (except the part where she bangs the old Wayne Brady )
I thought the graphics were real good. real real good. I'm not too knowledgeable about all the tech behind it, but it looked pretty to me.
Fairly suspenseful, definitely kept me intrigued. Nothing too scary but I'm also hard as a mothafucka
Overall I'll give it a 7/10 maybe 7.5/10. But keep in mind, I only got 2 C's in all of school so my standards are high.
This movie was shittier than Terminator: Salvation. Fucking Cowboys and Aliens would have been a better prequel to Alien. It felt like it was written by a 5th grader.
Male Scientist: "What it must be like to create life?"
Female"Scientist: "Is this about me not being able to have children?"
Female Scientist: "Why would they create humans, then want to destroy them?"
David: "Because "fuck you", that's why. Now let me go poison your boyfriend so he'll get you pregnant with a squid baby."
I think the real reason the Engineers wanted to destroy humanity was because, after 10,000 years of evolution, people are still dumb enough to try to pet mutant, alien, acid worms.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by p6867
My perspective when I was younger and enlisting could be summed up with a Mike Tyson quote, just as most things in life can, "I just want to conquer people and their souls"
Fuck causes, fuck right and wrong; I want someone to step to me with an AK and I want to put them the fuck down.
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Female Scientist: "Why would they create humans, then want to destroy them?"
David: "Because "fuck you", that's why. Now let me go poison your boyfriend so he'll get you pregnant with a squid baby."
I think the real reason the Engineers wanted to destroy humanity was because, after 10,000 years of evolution, people are still dumb enough to try to pet mutant, alien, acid worms.
This.
"What are you doing?!"
"Come on, I'm a biologist. What's the worse that can happen?
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"Crazyass could be a disease ridden orphan with shit for genes but because he's white you instantly accept that his are superior to yours?" - FON
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"Come on, I'm a biologist. What's the worse that can happen?
lulz, this is the same chucklefuck who ran away when he heard "there's a life form reading in the next room". Now he wants to try to pet random snake-worm it's a fucking cat? The only thing I'm sad about is that it didn't break both his fucking arms.
And that fucking captain...
Pilot: "Hey, Cap? You know that crew member who we know, emphatically, died a terrifying and painful death in that cave?
Captain: "Yeah?"
Pilot: "Well his mangled, twisted, corpse is currently resting outside the cargo bay sitting in this weird, horrific, yoga pose."
Captain: "WELP BETTER LET HIM IN"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by p6867
My perspective when I was younger and enlisting could be summed up with a Mike Tyson quote, just as most things in life can, "I just want to conquer people and their souls"
Fuck causes, fuck right and wrong; I want someone to step to me with an AK and I want to put them the fuck down.