Being the nice guy

[BitterConflict]

Originally Posted by crazzyass

If you're being nice to get pussy then you're neither nice nor honorable.

Naw, bro. I tried to get a girlfriend this way and she wasn't interested. It really hurts because we had several making out sessions and cuddling sessions. And I thought it would be appropriate to ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She declined and said that I was too good for her. I was hurt. I wanted nothing but her love and affection.

I should've fucked her that night, but I wanted something more, and apparently she didn't want that.

Actually, I should've raped her.

Fucking women don't know what they want.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

Naw, bro. I tried to get a girlfriend this way and she wasn't interested. It really hurts because we had several making out sessions and cuddling sessions. And I thought it would be appropriate to ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She declined and said that I was too good for her. I was hurt. I wanted nothing but her love and affection.

I should've fucked her that night, but I wanted something more, and apparently she didn't want that.

Actually, I should've raped her.

Fucking women don't know what they want.

The bolded really proves my point.

[BitterConflict]

I was hurt because I treated her so well. And she just wanted me to be her friend that just listened to her problems.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

I was hurt because I treated her so well. And she just wanted me to be her friend that just listened to her problems.

You treated her well and she didn't want to fuck you silly? What a bitch!

She probably expected that you were a genuinely nice person that wanted to listen to her problems for the sake of listening and helping, but she was wrong too, eh?

I reiterate: you're not actually being nice if you're only being "nice" because you want to fuck her/get a relationship out of it.

[WAN]

^I think bitter was saying that a lot of girls only want to cry on the shoulders of nice guys thus turning them into emotional tampons. These girls then turn around and fuck assholes//alpha, dominant type of guys without giving guys who care about their problems a chance.

[BitterConflict]

I could've fucked her, but I gambled and lost.

Yeah. Niceness comes out when people don't expect anything at all for doing good deeds.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by WAN

^I think bitter was saying that a lot of girls only want to cry on the shoulders of nice guys thus turning them into emotional tampons. These girls then turn around and fuck assholes//alpha, dominant type of guys without giving guys who care about their problems a chance.

No, I get what he's saying, but I've never witnessed this firsthand and every example I've heard seems to be:

"I bought her dinner and she still wouldn't let me fuck her, even after listening to her talk for ten whole minutes! Fucking cunt!"

It revolves around the idea that women owe these guys sex because the guys bought them dinner or gave them ten minutes of their time. When they don't, at all. And expecting that sex because you "bought it" doesn't make you nice, it makes you kinda sexist.

I have girls come to me upset and help them through their problems just like I would any friend. I don't expect sex, they didn't come to me for sex. They were upset and needed to talk to someone. If they wanted to fuck they'd be like "hey...wanna fuck?" not "I really need to talk to someone right now". And Bitter (plus other guys) apparently interpret that as "need to talk? Oh she must like me!" when she never said anything to that effect.

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

I could've fucked her, but I gambled and lost.

Yeah. Niceness comes out when people don't expect anything at all for doing good deeds.

Dude, if that's all your obsessed with then I'm not surprised she didn't want to bone you. And I said again, it's not being nice if there is an ulterior motive. Try being more genuine, it'll get you further. "Hey, wanna fuck?" has gotten me more pussy than mindgames ever will.

[BitterConflict]

You're right.

It's that false sense of entitlement that gets people like me nowhere.

[BitterConflict]

She didn't pull away when I tried to kiss her, though.

We made out several times and she seemed to really enjoy them.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

You're right.

It's that false sense of entitlement that gets people like me nowhere.

Yep.

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

She didn't pull away when I tried to kiss her, though.

We made out several times and she seemed to really enjoy them.

Emotional vulnerability much? Trying to enter into any sort of relations with someone during an unstable period for either person is a mistake anyways. Trying to kiss her was a mistake to begin with.

My rule is to take everything at face value. Everything. You guys kissed. That's all it means. A kiss. She doesn't want to bear your children, she just wanted a kiss.

Not to mention, a lot of girl feel pressured in that situation, especially if they're emotionally vulnerable. She didn't want to pull back from the kiss and hurt your feelings. She's doing the best she can in a shitty situation.

And don't think I'm attacking you, man, I went through the same heartache with a girl until I realized I was the one with the wrong attitude.

[BitterConflict]

Originally Posted by crazzyass

Emotional vulnerability much? Trying to enter into any sort of relations with someone during an unstable period for either person is a mistake anyways. Trying to kiss her was a mistake to begin with.

My rule is to take everything at face value. Everything. You guys kissed. That's all it means. A kiss. She doesn't want to bear your children, she just wanted a kiss.

Not to mention, a lot of girl feel pressured in that situation, especially if they're emotionally vulnerable. She didn't want to pull back from the kiss and hurt your feelings. She's doing the best she can in a shitty situation.

And don't think I'm attacking you, man, I went through the same heartache with a girl until I realized I was the one with the wrong attitude.

Yes, I'm sensitive.

But why did she continue and kissed me more? She got super comfortable letting me rub her legs while biting her lips. She even called me babe. I felt like it was appropriate to spill my spaghetti, but I was sure wrong.

I hate it how girls do this. Trying to act nice so I won't get my feelings hurt. I would be happier if she pulled away from that kiss and friend-zoned me that instant.

I remember another girl rejected me in high school and said she didn't feel that way about me and was more straightforward. And as a result, I'm still friends with her and we talk occasionally. My point is that I didn't get hurt nor attached to her.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

Yes, I'm sensitive.

But why did she continue and kissed me more? She got super comfortable letting me rub her legs while biting her lips. She even called me babe. I felt like it was appropriate to spill my spaghetti, but I was sure wrong.

I hate it how girls do this. Trying to act nice so I won't get my feelings hurt. I would be happier if she pulled away from that kiss and friend-zoned me that instant.

I remember another girl rejected me in high school and said she didn't feel that way about me and was more straightforward. And as a result, I'm still friends with her and we talk occasionally. My point is that I didn't get hurt nor attached to her.

Hey man, I agree everyone should be more upfront. Women included. I just wanted to point out that some issues can come from unreasonable expectations on your part and that not assuming anything will get you further.

Shit, I've fucked lesbians who just wanted to try it with a dude for the sake of trying it. Reading into it too much would burn me, but I tried to stay aloof. Open conversations where neither side feels pressured to lie are the best ones that lead to the best situation for both parties.

[BitterConflict]

How do I stop having unreasonable expectations for women and life in general?

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

How do I stop having unreasonable expectations for women and life in general?

Good question. I'm still learning how to do it. Frankly, I think it's the key to being happy, and as such it's a process that takes time.

Basically, more self-awareness I think. Check yourself to see what you're expecting out of something and see how your expectations match with reality. Adjust accordingly. It's not unlike a math equation or scientific model. You test something and then adjust the model if it behaves differently from what you expected.

Before long, you can predict events and know how to play them to get what you want. Not in a personally manipulative way, though.

For instance, everything at face value. If you meet a girl you like, make your intentions known immediately by asking her on a date, straight up. If you keep hanging out with her trying to "make her fall in love" or subtly win her heart, it probably won't happen. You'll buy her things or be there for her thinking it's winning you brownie points while the girl thinks you're just a really good friend, which is the vibe you've given off if you're hanging out and being friend-y with her.

[BitterConflict]

This is why I still lurk and poast here. Thx for giving me this advice.

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

This is why I still lurk and poast here. Thx for giving me this advice.

No problem. Good luck with everything.

[High School Janitor]

When you have specific approaches like this what you're really doing is being failure and the ones who fall for it are also failing. Your first mistake is when you start viewing a woman as a problem instead of a human. Shes a human with a vagina you have a penis. Unless shes a slut or drunk, or both, youre going to have to put in work. You shouldnt have an approach you should just do you. Its that simple. If you still fail after that you need to get some life experience under your belt or hit the gym or maybe develop a little confidence or something, take a look in the mirror and adjust accordingly. Just be you dude.

[trolly]

Originally Posted by Issue313

So I met an interesting girl, sorta new age sort, probably got mental problems like most new age people. I admit she's bonkers, but I have a slight crush on her, she's got a positive attitude, and is thin at least (she claims not to need to eat). I messages her a few days ago asking if she wanted to hang out; "too busy". She messages me yesterday being really sweet and hinting that she needed a lift to Galway. I never answered. I've been in the position of driving unemployed loser girls around in the hopes of getting to know them better before, and it always ends with me either rejecting the girl (once, cos I knew she was crazy in a nasty way) or (more usually) them rejecting me. I think I'm just too nice and soft, and girls don't respect guys who do shit for them. I'll do anything for a friend, but I'm fed up with being a nice guy, these cunts don't deserve it.

Anyway, my question is does being a "nice guy" EVER work for ANYONE?

If you asked her to hang out, and she didn't want to hang out with you. And now she's calling you for a ride, it means she only sees you as a utility to get rides around and you don't want to be known as that guy, so you tell her no. If she doesn't respond to hanging out with you or tries to reschedule a date if she's busy, then that means she's not interested in you, you need to drop her and move on.

[trolly]

Originally Posted by crazzyass

Good question. I'm still learning how to do it. Frankly, I think it's the key to being happy, and as such it's a process that takes time.

Basically, more self-awareness I think. Check yourself to see what you're expecting out of something and see how your expectations match with reality. Adjust accordingly. It's not unlike a math equation or scientific model. You test something and then adjust the model if it behaves differently from what you expected.

Before long, you can predict events and know how to play them to get what you want. Not in a personally manipulative way, though.

For instance, everything at face value. If you meet a girl you like, make your intentions known immediately by asking her on a date, straight up. If you keep hanging out with her trying to "make her fall in love" or subtly win her heart, it probably won't happen. You'll buy her things or be there for her thinking it's winning you brownie points while the girl thinks you're just a really good friend, which is the vibe you've given off if you're hanging out and being friend-y with her.

On the other hand, I dated 13 girls in the past 2 months, by saying straight up, "Wanna go on a date with me?" It always ended in a kiss or a hook up, but (that's not what I want).

I have taken the opposite approach, and "going slow" with a girl right now to see where that would take me. From what I see, it's going well, and she is slowly growing to like me more (I can see the progression).

So we all need to experiment different approaches in life

[crazzyass]

Originally Posted by trolly

On the other hand, I dated 13 girls in the past 2 months, by saying straight up, "Wanna go on a date with me?" It always ended in a kiss or a hook up, but (that's not what I want).

I have taken the opposite approach, and "going slow" with a girl right now to see where that would take me. From what I see, it's going well, and she is slowly growing to like me more (I can see the progression).

So we all need to experiment different approaches in life

Hey, absolutely. Whatever works, works. That's always been my motto. I can only speak from personal experience. Though it sounds to me that in this case you're still making your intent clear. If you guys are "going slow", it implies that you're going on dates and doing things that make it obvious that there is romantic desire. In that case, slow is almost always better. I absolutely agree.

I'm referring more to girls that, say, you happen to hang out with in groups or speak with in a capacity that is perfectly normal and could not be construed as romantic, but because you see her that way it seems romantic to you. And you're really nice and buy her things and do all this to gain her affection, but she just sees you as a friend because of the context everything is in. Or if she needs someone to talk to, a lot of guys take that as "oh she must really like me" and get outraged when she doesn't return the feelings. She literally just needed a friend to talk to. That's more what I'm hitting on. I think you're doing it right.

[Synopix]

nevar warkz.

[dreamcastsega]

Originally Posted by BitterConflict

Yes, I'm sensitive.

But why did she continue and kissed me more? She got super comfortable letting me rub her legs while biting her lips. She even called me babe. I felt like it was appropriate to spill my spaghetti, but I was sure wrong.

I hate it how girls do this. Trying to act nice so I won't get my feelings hurt. I would be happier if she pulled away from that kiss and friend-zoned me that instant.

I remember another girl rejected me in high school and said she didn't feel that way about me and was more straightforward. And as a result, I'm still friends with her and we talk occasionally. My point is that I didn't get hurt nor attached to her.

Once you were kissing and cuddling,etc you should of took it a little further and seen her reaction. Be more aggressve with out being a creep,sometimes the girl will reject you but other times you might get luck. If you go to grab her ass or tits and she reject you so be it.

Make it be known that your looking to have sex. Also it's a bad idea to ask a girl to be your gf if you never had sex with her. Just let things flow naturally and see where it goes,defining things with girls can be a problem. It also can screw up her head or making her think o I have the upper hand.

[LSA King]

Honestly, even if you're a nice guy in general, be a dick. I'm telling you it works as shitty as it is and women respond to it. Don't ask me why, but I got sick and tired of the fake ass dating game bullshit long ago and just started rejecting nicities with women not even trying to fuck them. Really I wished they would just get the fuck out of my face at the time, and strangely enough somehow that brought them more and more intrigued to talking to me.


Don't question the logic behind it because it makes no damn sense besides the assumption women just naturally hating not being the center of attention. Try the bad boy shit out for awhile and don't ruin it with the thought, "man this is going to get me laid" or "I'm going to fuck the shit out of this bitch", just naturally reject them and they'll eat it up.

*EDIT*

Add some confidence with that. You can't play the bad boy routine if you're not confident in not giving a shit, else you'll be sniffed out without an after thought.