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Old 12-30-2009, 02:04 AM
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Confused I think my dog wants to have sex with me

She's always doing stuff trying to seduce me, like sniffing at my crotch, licking me and I swear to god, that nasty bitch put her tail strait in the air and I get a bird's eye view of her anus. She barks at me, gets jelous when I pet other dogs and whenever I look at a cat she freaks out and tries to kill them!

I really don't know what to do. I mean, we aren't related or anything, but we live in the same house so things might get a bit awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it in a heart beat if we didn't live together. She's sexy as hell

Last edited by SHH; 12-30-2009 at 02:08 AM.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:07 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Wha...?

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Old 12-30-2009, 02:08 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

haha, try the peanut butter crotch thing.. that's really weird though- why do you say shit like this?
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:08 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Build her a dog house and move her outside.

Problem solved.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:13 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

I got humped by a big black labrador once. I was wearing pants, unfortunately. I was only about 9 so the dog outweighed me by a small margin.
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  #6  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:20 AM
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Arrow Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by SHH View Post
I really don't know what to do. I mean, we aren't related or anything, but we live in the same house so things might get a bit awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it in a heart beat if we didn't live together. She's sexy as hell
Fuck her. Also sex =/= relationships. Also she is your partner anyway, canine buddy and all. So there is no 'problem'. I am assuming this is 'serious; given the thread it is in, fuck sarcasmish trolling
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:21 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Generic Box Of Cookies View Post
I got humped by a big black labrador once. I was wearing pants, unfortunately. I was only about 9 so the dog outweighed me by a small margin.
I went to a really weird party I wasn't comfortable with and didn't know many of the people around, was just there because my girlfriend told me to come to this place and there was a dog there (an un-neutred pitbull) and I was sitting on the couch and I just started playing with it and befriending it like I would any other dog- I'm quite the dog person, I've got that good energy Cesar Milan would say. But anyway, it was humping my leg and I had no idea it was even though everyone else saw it.

Anyway I got pulled to the side and the dude that owned the house is a professional cage fighter. And he was kind of a big faggot about it, He was like

"Yo man, I don't know you at all but I'm just here to make sure you're not some kind of weird dog fucker because I don't know what you did to him, but he was humping your leg. I don't know if you know who I am but I'm a professional MMA fighter and I REALLY like to hurt people.. just so you know. So you better not be some kind of weird faggot."

Thank god I have people skills and was really completely oblivious to the fact that the dog humped my leg or it could've been a big scene.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:22 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

my cat would murder your dog.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:25 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

he isnt a very good pro cage fighter if hes a cocky fucker like that. kinda funny. shoulda falcon punched him.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:27 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Star Wars Fan View Post
Fuck her. Also sex =/= relationships. Also she is your partner anyway, canine buddy and all. So there is no 'problem'. I am assuming this is 'serious; given the thread it is in, fuck sarcasmish trolling
This coming from a nigger who claims to be intelligent....
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  #11  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:31 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by The Phreak View Post
he isnt a very good pro cage fighter if hes a cocky fucker like that. kinda funny. shoulda falcon punched him.
Oh yeah, I know.. you won't see him on spike TV anytime soon. He's just local midwest, tri-state area "pro-fighter" but yeah he'd still kick my ass. I'm 6'3 and I still look up to him a little bit- he must be like 6'4-6-5 and probably weighs the same as me but he's more cut and I probably have a little more goo around the core than him. I wouldn't fuck with him, but yeah, he's still probably only 190 pounds even though he's tall as hell.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:35 AM
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Arrow Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
This coming from a nigger who claims to be intelligent....
Going to prove me wrong, faggot?

Oh wait. That was that silence. Your lack of an argument. Paleskin.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:35 AM
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Mad Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuman30 View Post
Oh yeah, I know.. you won't see him on spike TV anytime soon. He's just local midwest, tri-state area "pro-fighter" but yeah he'd still kick my ass. I'm 6'3 and I still look up to him a little bit- he must be like 6'4-6-5 and probably weighs the same as me but he's more cut and I probably have a little more goo around the core than him. I wouldn't fuck with him, but yeah, he's still probably only 190 pounds even though he's tall as hell.
Shut up.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuman30 View Post
"Yo man, I don't know you at all but I'm just here to make sure you're not some kind of weird dog fucker because I don't know what you did to him, but he was humping your leg. I don't know if you know who I am but I'm a professional MMA fighter and I REALLY like to hurt people.. just so you know. So you better not be some kind of weird faggot."

Thank god I have people skills and was really completely oblivious to the fact that the dog humped my leg or it could've been a big scene.
Wow. I think I'd troll him if I wasn't intimidated by that bullshit. I think I'd tell him I was a lolicon or something just to see how he reacted. And prepare to run/fight lol.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:38 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by SHH View Post
Shut up.
You shut up, you're the one who made a faggot thread. faggot. I'll kill you.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:39 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

I fapped.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:42 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Star Wars Fan View Post
Going to prove me wrong, faggot?

Oh wait. That was that silence. Your lack of an argument. Paleskin.
Now calm down jungle bunny i'll get your daily sustanence of chikahn an waddymelon now thats a good nig nog
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:43 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Star Wars Fan View Post
Wow. I think I'd troll him if I wasn't intimidated by that bullshit. I think I'd tell him I was a lolicon or something just to see how he reacted. And prepare to run/fight lol.
You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag.
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  #19  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:44 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Well since you're getting IOIs already, it's unlikely you'll end up CB'd, but I've seen it happen to AFCs who have no idea what they're doing. First, you want to send some negs her way, but then back it up with C&F to keep her guessing. While she's still disoriented and out of her comfort zone, get some NLP going, make sure you keep EC while you're doing this, and maybe throw in some Kino to keep her interested. Keep up the Kino, C&F, and then go for the KC. FMAC man, all there is to it.

Oh, and if you run into any LMR don't let up.
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  #20  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:45 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by SHH View Post
She's always doing stuff trying to seduce me, like sniffing at my crotch, licking me and I swear to god, that nasty bitch put her tail strait in the air and I get a bird's eye view of her anus. She barks at me, gets jelous when I pet other dogs and whenever I look at a cat she freaks out and tries to kill them!

I really don't know what to do. I mean, we aren't related or anything, but we live in the same house so things might get a bit awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it in a heart beat if we didn't live together. She's sexy as hell
do it amn she wants you, fuck her reall good and make her pussy all wet inside
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  #21  
Old 12-30-2009, 02:47 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
Now calm down jungle bunny i'll get your daily sustanence of chikahn an waddymelon now thats a good nig nog
I'm waiting faggot.

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag.
FAIIILLLLLL. Paleskin.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:55 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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I'm waiting faggot.



FAIIILLLLLL. Paleskin.
HERPA DERP Well how about some cotton picking . It's a nice day for some pickin.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:57 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by SHH View Post
She's always doing stuff trying to seduce me, like sniffing at my crotch, licking me and I swear to god, that nasty bitch put her tail strait in the air and I get a bird's eye view of her anus. She barks at me, gets jelous when I pet other dogs and whenever I look at a cat she freaks out and tries to kill them!
I really don't know what to do. I mean, we aren't related or anything, but we live in the same house so things might get a bit awkward. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it in a heart beat if we didn't live together. She's sexy as hell
No wonder u r so fucked uo, all whiney and crying about bein suicidal and shit. You are thinking about fucking your dog. You need to get some help, dude.
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  #24  
Old 12-30-2009, 03:10 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Star Wars Fan View Post
I'm waiting faggot.



FAIIILLLLLL. Paleskin.
www.niggermania.net
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Old 12-30-2009, 03:16 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
HERPA DERP Well how about some cotton picking . It's a nice day for some pickin.
You must be butthurt, not following through your troll

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
Oops! This link appears to be broken.
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Search on Google:
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Old 12-30-2009, 03:45 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by Star Wars Fan View Post
You must be butthurt, not following through your troll



Oops! This link appears to be broken.
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So it works on my computer?
Once again i suppose us white folk are keeping yur internet down
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Old 12-30-2009, 04:59 AM
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Thumbs Up Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
So it works on my computer?
Once again i suppose us white folk are keeping yur internet down
your computer has the cache burnt into your hard drive because you are addicted to that site like the faggot you are, looking to masturbate to stories of black men raping little white bitches like you
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Old 12-30-2009, 07:32 AM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Bahahahaha silly nig nog you are. The only thing I like seeing black men in is prison. Now you're a silly nigger so back into your cage.
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Old 12-30-2009, 07:39 AM
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Grin Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by slm33d View Post
Bahahahaha silly nig nog you are. The only thing I like seeing black men in is prison raping white bitches like me. Now you're a silly nigger so back into your cage.
Fixed.
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Old 12-30-2009, 03:23 PM
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Exclamation Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Off to BC...

*SWOOOOSH*
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  #31  
Old 12-30-2009, 03:29 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

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Originally Posted by kuman30 View Post
I went to a really weird party I wasn't comfortable with and didn't know many of the people around, was just there because my girlfriend told me to come to this place and there was a dog there (an un-neutred pitbull) and I was sitting on the couch and I just started playing with it and befriending it like I would any other dog- I'm quite the dog person, I've got that good energy Cesar Milan would say. But anyway, it was humping my leg and I had no idea it was even though everyone else saw it.

Anyway I got pulled to the side and the dude that owned the house is a professional cage fighter. And he was kind of a big faggot about it, He was like

"Yo man, I don't know you at all but I'm just here to make sure you're not some kind of weird dog fucker because I don't know what you did to him, but he was humping your leg. I don't know if you know who I am but I'm a professional MMA fighter and I REALLY like to hurt people.. just so you know. So you better not be some kind of weird faggot."

Thank god I have people skills and was really completely oblivious to the fact that the dog humped my leg or it could've been a big scene.

that's the type of faggot who you follow to the store and when he walks back out to his car you shine a spot light in his face and demand his money and hold a toy gun to his back while a broski in front is shinning a spotlight in the front. Watch him tremble...
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  #32  
Old 12-30-2009, 03:36 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

HB does not need a thread with so many moronic posts in it. We are not a trash can, remember? With that said, op, you should probably not put your dick in the dog's vagina, as this could cause her pain. Do the peanut butter thing, if anything.
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  #33  
Old 12-30-2009, 03:44 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Lol at those who give serious answers in a troll thread.
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  #34  
Old 12-30-2009, 04:01 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

This went through 2 forums before it got here, and no one infracted the off-topic posts. I feel so helpless.
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  #35  
Old 12-30-2009, 04:10 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

You can still infract your dog though.
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  #36  
Old 12-30-2009, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: I think my dog wants to have sex with me

Maybe the dog is using OP's account ?
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