Why women should have sex with their men even when they don't feel like it

[Mutant Funk Drink]

Here's an interesting blog entry that was written by a woman on why women should have sex with men even when they aren't in the mood.

http://modernreject.com/2010/12/have...-feel-like-it/

Having sex in marriage is important. Necessary. Crucial.

Women need sex to feel emotionally connected. Men need sex to feel loved and desirable.

But as most married women will tell you, marriage sure slows down the frequency of sex and sexual mood. Whether it be long work days, stress, children, or other daily distraction–a woman’s sexual impulse can be sucked right out.

All too often in marriage, women find themselves saying “no” to sex much more than “yes.” There is even the mythical male who turns down sex with his wife… a very rare breed, indeed.

I have heard it said before that women should just go ahead and have sex, even when they don’t feel like it. I agree with that sentiment and here’s why:

I know some people might think this idea sounds downright archaic and misogynistic. But, here I am–a modern woman–telling other women to just get busy, even when the urge isn’t there.

Reason being, marriage convinced me of the male need for sex. Dennis Prager has discussed this topic on his radio show quite frequently. He refers to women pulling the old famous sex shutdown line: “I don’t feel like it.” His response to that excuse makes me smile. To paraphrase him:

Women have somehow hijacked sex and planted this notion in their minds that sex is always suppose to be romantic, or glamorous, or that they must be totally 100% “in the mood” in order to have it. If these prerequisites aren’t met, well then, no sex.

I took a pre-marriage class with my husband and one of the week’s topics was sex in marriage. A sex expert (such a cool job title by the way) and counselor taught us that, on average, men need sex 2 to 3 times per week–not want sex twice a week, but actually need sex (you’re welcome gentlemen. I’m spreading the word).

For men, sex is a stress release, a wanted distraction from their busy lives and responsibilities. It is also how they feel loved from their wives, which, if you ask me, is sorta important.

On day 13 of turning down your husband, men don’t only feel pent-up stress, but they also begin to feel unloved and undesirable.

My friend Carrington just wrote a post challenging women to say “yes” to sex more. I have practiced this and, let me just tell you that it makes a difference in my marriage. The hubster and I have better quality and more frequent sex now than ever (too much detail? Sorry, hope you’re not blushing).

If I’m not up for being intimate in that exact moment–usually 11:00 o’clock at night after a day of being covered in toddler slime, then I will reschedule for another time. Which is a reminder to men–timing is important. Don’t ask her at the end of a very long, tiring day. Ask her when she feels most in the mood, when the iron is hot, so to speak. For more tips, gentlemen, on improving your sex life, check out this post.

Ladies, commit to trying to say “yes” at least three times in a row. Set the mood. Take a shower. Pray. Lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes away from little ones (I highly recommend this one). Do whatever you need to do to say “yes.”

The more I go ahead and have sex, even when I don’t feel in the mood, the more God has actually blessed our sex life. And guess what, when I say “yes” more, I’m much more apt to get “in the mood” faster, too. In fact, I have the “I’m not in the mood” thought run through my mind rarely these days.

So, when he asks, pounce on him. Or heck, don’t wait for him to ask… pounce first, ask questions later.

Do you agree or disagree? Do you think women should say “yes” even when they might not be in the mood? Have you practiced this? What has made a difference in your married sex life?

Holy shit! And a chick wrote that? That's awesome.

Now I don't think a woman should have sex when she truly doesn't want to have it, but in my experience, most of the time they don't want to have it because they are too lazy to humor the man every once in a while.

Anyone else have a different take on this? I just thought I'd share this with you all.

[ChinaCat]

Lol I'm a guy and this is relevant I'm often tired and lazy and like it when she initiates cause it makes me get into it instead of just passing out


Of course alot of it has to do with how much I drink which although makes
Me want to pass out sooner also helps for her when I can't come cause I'm so drunk so I'll last as
Long as it takes for her to come and then I can pass the fuck out

[WAN]

not really relevant but a lot of times when i do feel horny, i don't fap or do anything about it, because it would be too much work

not worth it

[Iehovah]

Sounds like the author can't make up her mind.

She makes it sound like it should be treated as an unavoidable chore that should be done for the sake of keeping the man happy. He can fuck the lump on the bed, right? Kind of sociopathic, but apparently that's not what she really meant...

Instead, she goes on to say to make it sexy, fun, romantic, pounce on that randy bastard, pushing the same stereotype that she's telling women not to cling to. What the fuck? Make up your mind, you stupid bitch.

[Little Miss Sunshine]

You all need to start praying.......

Dear Lord, grant me a partner who doesnt a blow a load in thirty seconds in bed and rubs like clit like he is drilling for oil, while thinking that he turns me on by saying "let's do it".

Amen

[HelloClarice]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine

You all need to start praying.......

Dear Lord, grant me a partner who doesnt a blow a load in thirty seconds in bed and rubs like clit like he is drilling for oil, while thinking that he turns me on by saying "let's do it".

Amen

Amen!

i agree with the article for the most part - i think the point the author is trying to make has more to do with just not shutting down the idea of sex automatically. there are times when i haven't been in the mood in the beginning, but after a few minutes i'm more than happy to be having sex. however, i'm lucky enough to have a partner who is open about sex and who actually gives a fuck about whether or not i get off. it really can be a chore if you're with someone with little skill or a bad approach.

[Idiot]

Fucking stupid article.

Why women should have sex with their men even when they don't feel like it?

They should because they don't want to get raped.

I have NEVER had a girl say no to me, I'm so serious. I'm the first string quarter back for my college(a big ten school), I'm on the honor roll, and my parents are in the yacht club, no one would ever believe how aggressive I get with women. Those dumb bitches all keep their mouths shut.

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine

You all need to start praying.......

Dear Lord, grant me a partner who doesnt a blow a load in thirty seconds in bed and rubs like clit like he is drilling for oil, while thinking that he turns me on by saying "let's do it".

Amen

Instead of praying to a non-existent god why don't women learn not to settle for abusive semi-literate retards who are incapable of thinking about others' needs? I swear every woman in the world seems to go for whatever god awful scumbag creep they come across that makes them feel abused/neglected/exploited like their worthless fathers did. And self-help charlatans tell these messed up people to listen to their 'instincts' when their instincts are what attracts them to horrible humans in the first place.

[jerome]

i try to tell this to all these girls i know that complain to me about not wanting to fuck their boyfriends. the part how males don't feel like they desire them if they keep getting turned down in bed. they don't really get it when i tell them tho.

[HelloClarice]

Originally Posted by Alpheus

Instead of praying to a non-existent god why don't women learn not to settle for abusive semi-literate retards who are incapable of thinking about others' needs?

that's half of zoklet right there

[Little Miss Sunshine]

Originally Posted by Alpheus

Instead of praying to a non-existent god why don't women learn not to settle for abusive semi-literate retards who are incapable of thinking about others' needs? I swear every woman in the world seems to go for whatever god awfule scumbag creep they come across that makes them feel abused/neglected/exploited like their worthless fathers did. And self-help charlatans tell these messed up people to listen to their 'instincts' when their instincts are what attracts them to horrible humans in the first place.

Holy wall of crap!

Buying into the Psych101 BS? None of that applied to me, I was just stuck in a relationship where the man was inexperinced/didn't care.

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine

Holy wall of crap!

Buying into the Psych101 BS? None of that applied to me, I was just stuck in a relationship where the man was inexperinced/didn't care.

Inexperienced or didn't care?

There is a big difference between the two. Did you try to help him out at all? Offer constructive criticism? Give him some lessons/hints?

And how do you even get "stuck" in a relationship where one party doesn't care?

[slicknickns]

Thank you for introducing me to that wonderful woman's blog OP

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine

Holy wall of crap!

Buying into the Psych101 BS? None of that applied to me, I was just stuck in a relationship where the man was inexperinced/didn't care.

Buying into it? I've fucking watched it in action. They even made a name for the most severe form of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_PTSD

Not that anyone will ever get anywhere if they expect their partner to be psychic, motherfuckers got to communicate. I hate it when women expect their guys to be psychic - people are never going to get what they want if they don't explain what they want. And if that doesn't help then you dump them, simple as that.

[HelloClarice]

Originally Posted by Alpheus

Buying into it? I've fucking watched it in action. They even made a name for the most severe form of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_PTSD

Not that anyone will ever get anywhere if they expect their partner to be psychic, motherfuckers got to communicate. I hate it when women expect their guys to be psychic - people are never going to get what they want if they don't explain what they want. And if that doesn't help then you dump them, simple as that.

i agree with this. i've learned from experience it's best to be direct - don't worry too much about hurting anyone's feelings.

[The Pat-Man]

daddy issues are lols

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Originally Posted by HelloClarice

i agree with this. i've learned from experience it's best to be direct - don't worry too much about hurting anyone's feelings.

Are you really from Florida? I refuse to believe there are any sane women left in this state.

[HelloClarice]

Originally Posted by Alpheus

Are you really from Florida? I refuse to believe there are any sane women left in this state.

ha. but yeah, i'm from FL.

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by HelloClarice

ha. but yeah, i'm from FL.

Do you know what a camel is?

[dysik]

only thing i agree with in the OP is that very little women understand the male NEED for sex. it is not just a WANT it is a NEED for sex. we dont think about sex every 7 seconds because we WANT to. its a fucking biological function we cannot control. to deprive someone of something they NEED for a healthy happy life because "your not in the mood" is fucking cruel, your just asking him to treat you like shit in return/cheat on you..

ive never been in a relationship which has gone on long enough to see a huge decline in the frequency that we have sex (after the initial few months of course, which are usually a fuckfest) but there is obviously a flipside too. if you as a male arent putting on a good enough show to keep her coming back for more.. your doing something wrong, either learn to cuddle or eat pussy, those are your options.

[Little Miss Sunshine]

Originally Posted by Alpheus

Buying into it? I've fucking watched it in action. They even made a name for the most severe form of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_PTSD

Not that anyone will ever get anywhere if they expect their partner to be psychic, motherfuckers got to communicate. I hate it when women expect their guys to be psychic - people are never going to get what they want if they don't explain what they want. And if that doesn't help then you dump them, simple as that.

Yes, I studied psychology enough to understand what you were getting at. But my point was, men, love to blame the woman for not wanting to engage in sex. Look what happened in this thread. I make a joke about men being bad to bed and I am being accused of having daddy issues, not communicating, expecting men to read my mind...how about I add to the list....low sex drive,always tired and she is a prude.

You guys are exhausting.

[Iehovah]

Originally Posted by dysik

only thing i agree with in the OP is that very little women understand the male NEED for sex. it is not just a WANT it is a NEED for sex. we dont think about sex every 7 seconds because we WANT to. its a fucking biological function we cannot control. to deprive someone of something they NEED for a healthy happy life because "your not in the mood" is fucking cruel, your just asking him to treat you like shit in return/cheat on you..

Quit the bullshit, kid. The man that tells you he NEEDS to have sex, who tells you he is so little in control of his thoughts that it's all he thinks about every day is not a fucking man at all but a hormonal teenager - and no, they don't NEED it either. They just feel like they do.

Learn the fucking difference between need and want. The hormones make your acne-ridden 16 y/o ass want it all the time. You do not NEED it, and in fact, if you got it as much as you WANT it, you would probably end up with HIV and a host of other alphabet STDs in an alleyway somewhere.

So yeah, the man that tells you he NEEDS it is just a fucking liar trying to guilt trip his woman into giving more of it. There are people with genuine medical problems that could be considered to need it, but that is the extreme exception, not the rule. Get your head the fuck out of your cock.

No, there is no excuse for cheating. You define that boundary at the start of your marriage, or better yet, you don't marry the kind of woman at all if you feel your marriage should have a steady supply of sex.

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine

Yes, I studied psychology enough to understand what you were getting at. But my point was, men, love to blame the woman for not wanting to engage in sex. Look what happened in this thread. I make a joke about men being bad to bed and I am being accused of having daddy issues, not communicating, expecting men to read my mind...how about I add to the list....low sex drive,always tired and she is a prude.

You guys are exhausting.

You seem to be missing the point. Nobody is blaming you for not being interested in bad sex. It's just that sex can get better; people tend to get better at things if they practice and receive both positive and negative feedback, as well as suggestions on what they could do to improve. To rephrase - it's a process that requires both partners to put some effort in.

A lot of women don't participate in it, however, and just lose interest in sex. And that is a problem.

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by Iehovah

Quit the bullshit, kid. The man that tells you he NEEDS to have sex, who tells you he is so little in control of his thoughts that it's all he thinks about every day is not a fucking man at all but a hormonal teenager - and no, they don't NEED it either. They just feel like they do.

Learn the fucking difference between need and want. The hormones make your acne-ridden 16 y/o ass want it all the time. You do not NEED it, and in fact, if you got it as much as you WANT it, you would probably end up with HIV and a host of other alphabet STDs in an alleyway somewhere.

So yeah, the man that tells you he NEEDS it is just a fucking liar trying to guilt trip his woman into giving more of it. There are people with genuine medical problems that could be considered to need it, but that is the extreme exception, not the rule. Get your head the fuck out of your cock.

No, there is no excuse for cheating. You define that boundary at the start of your marriage, or better yet, you don't marry the kind of woman at all if you feel your marriage should have a steady supply of sex.

But then all the above can be applied to women needing affection. Or anything short of the basic biological functions required for survival.

[Iehovah]

Originally Posted by JeffreyH

You seem to be missing the point. Nobody is blaming you for not being interested in bad sex. It's just that sex can get better; people tend to get better at things if they practice and receive both positive and negative feedback, as well as suggestions on what they could do to improve. To rephrase - it's a process that requires both partners to put some effort in.

A lot of women don't participate in it, however, and just lose interest in sex. And that is a problem.

Pump and dump is not practice, or you'd find a lot of guys with a lot more skill.

It's a two-way street, and when a guy is expecting to be satisfied for satisfaction's sake, then he IS part of the problem.

[Little Miss Sunshine]

Originally Posted by JeffreyH

You seem to be missing the point. Nobody is blaming you for not being interested in bad sex. It's just that sex can get better; people tend to get better at things if they practice and receive both positive and negative feedback, as well as suggestions on what they could do to improve. To rephrase - it's a process that requires both partners to put some effort in.

A lot of women don't participate in it, however, and just lose interest in sex. And that is a problem.

This is turning into a circular argument based on assumptions.

To rephrase- I am not missing any points and you are not Dr. Phil.

[JeffreyH]

Originally Posted by Iehovah

Pump and dump is not practice, or you'd find a lot of guys with a lot more skill.

It's a two-way street, and when a guy is expecting to be satisfied for satisfaction's sake, then he IS part of the problem.

I agree.

Not sure why Sunshine is getting so defensive.

[mizled]

Dudes, if you're worth fucking, she'll want to do it.

If you're sitting around feeling unattractive and unloved...

..well, maybe it's time to find someone more sensitive to a modern mans needs and with a more liberal sense of aesthetics.

[Iehovah]

Originally Posted by JeffreyH

But then all the above can be applied to women needing affection. Or anything short of the basic biological functions required for survival.

You'd be correct if you were to simply ignore the part of the standard wedding vows that dictates "to love and to cherish". It's considered such a reasonable desire to be satisfied that it's part of the wedding vows. The man needs it as well as the woman (don't call sex affection, it can be a form of it, but it's otherwise not)

Yet a lot of marriages go without it. Frankly, they probably shouldn't BE marriages at that point, but some people are fucking dumb and would rather torture themselves and each other.

Then it comes back to the sex issue. If you haven't talked about it, then you really have nobody to blame but yourself when it happens and you're left in limbo. Ideally, that shit happens BEFORE marriage.

If you have talked about it and she doesn't care, sounds like another reason to stop torturing yourself and get a divorce.

[Lollygagger]

And bitches are surprised when the guy cheats on or leaves them.

[dysik]

Originally Posted by Iehovah

Quit the bullshit, kid. The man that tells you he NEEDS to have sex, who tells you he is so little in control of his thoughts that it's all he thinks about every day is not a fucking man at all but a hormonal teenager - and no, they don't NEED it either. They just feel like they do.

Learn the fucking difference between need and want. The hormones make your acne-ridden 16 y/o ass want it all the time. You do not NEED it, and in fact, if you got it as much as you WANT it, you would probably end up with HIV and a host of other alphabet STDs in an alleyway somewhere.

So yeah, the man that tells you he NEEDS it is just a fucking liar trying to guilt trip his woman into giving more of it. There are people with genuine medical problems that could be considered to need it, but that is the extreme exception, not the rule. Get your head the fuck out of your cock.

No, there is no excuse for cheating. You define that boundary at the start of your marriage, or better yet, you don't marry the kind of woman at all if you feel your marriage should have a steady supply of sex.

firstly, you just assume im am a teenager because its the only way that your argument could hold any water. well sorry mate but you are wrong.

how is sex NOT a need for a man? fucking is pretty much our primary biological function, i would put it up there with eating, breathing and shitting. our entire brain structure is centered around getting a root. its fucking evolution man, get real. what is the point of surviving ourselves if our children wont live on... sex is therefore AS IMPORTANT as our own survival.

and the study about men thinking about sex on average every 7 seconds was not done on "raging boner 16 yr olds" but men of all ages. so basically your full of shit.

i love it when people think that just because humans have built a fairly complex society and environment for themselves, they are no longer just another animal but some sort of higher being who does not have to give in to their biological urges

[Iehovah]

Originally Posted by dysik

firstly, you just assume im am a teenager because its the only way that your argument could hold any water. well sorry mate but you are wrong.

I assume you are a teenager because you use the same ridiculous arguments a teenager who sincerely believes this bullshit would use. My personal slight on your supposed adulthood may not hold water, but my argument certainly does. You being a hormonal teenager or very stupid adult does not change it.

how is sex NOT a need for a man?

You do not require sex to go on living. To class it in the same category as things you DO require to go on living, food, water, shitting (if you don't, you'll die), breathing, those things are critical system processes. If they don't work, you better have a fucking medical system to back you up because you are heading straight for the grave.

Sex? You'd have to be a damn fool or a hormonal teenager to believe that.

The point of surviving? It is what you make it. You presume some sort of intended destiny for mankind, be it God, or the Almighty Unipasta. For all you know, we're meant to die out like the fucking dodo bird... as a species. Put it this way - if I were to castrate your sorry ass right this minute, your inability to procreate would have shit for an affect on the human species.

and the study about men thinking about sex on average every 7 seconds was not done on "raging boner 16 yr olds" but men of all ages. so basically your full of shit.

Haven't heard it, don't believe it... more specifically, I believe you probably didn't read the article and interpreted only the way you wanted to. Hate to break it to you, but people really don't stop every 7 seconds to think about sex. I sure as fuck don't converse with elderly ladies and think about sex, nor do I ponder it as I sit there discussing bullshit politics with some asshole on Der Politik. Whole hours go by without thinking about sex as I go to work, school, or some other shit.

This leads me to believe that you refer to some sort of average based on things people think about in their free time or something like it. Repost the link, perhaps?

i love it when people think that just because humans have built a fairly complex society and environment for themselves, they are no longer just another animal but some sort of higher being who does not have to give in to their biological urges

Yet here you are thinking you have a purpose in the form of a cock.. You do not. Whether you do or do not is insignificant. Your inability to get laid will change the world not a whit.

More importantly, if the world really did work like that (and it doesn't, because humans have gone and fucked up the natural order), then we would be obligated, to a man, to keep on breeding and breeding every day.

Can you say 'Overpopulation Hell'?

[Shrike]

We're not obligated to breed, but it's in our genes and nature to want to procreate. A man wants to fuck as many women as possible to spread his genes, and a woman hits 30-35 and gets broody if she doesn't have kids. The biological clock is actually a thing, it's not some bullshit like "oh lol manflu".

The problem is that we've increased our food production and healthcare/standards of living so rapidly in the last 100 years, but of course as human beings we haven't really changed at all. You think we're significantly different to people 5,000 years ago? That's why we're getting so fat as a population, the urge to eat all the fucking food is inbuilt in us from when we were hunter-gatherers and you needed to eat what was available because it was not in reliable supply. And that's why there's now 7 billion and counting of us motherfuckers on this planet, cos we're breeding at the same rate, but we live so fucking long and don't die in childbirth and from measles etc.

Having sex is a pretty huge part of life, being a man. Now of course with modern contraceptives that doesn't always equal kids, but most people will want to have kids nonetheless. They don't want to end up 70 years old and have no kids to come and see them and feel like they wasted their life. Cos even if they did do nothing except shit out a couple of kids, their kids might do something great.