Alright Zoklet help me shit

[Miley Highrus]

I've been constipated for over 24 hours now and its getting old. This is the second time in my life and let me tell you its hell. I tried just about everything.

I drank lots of coffee,water, and prune juice. I took twice the recommended dose of exlax and still nothing.

Anyone have any unconventional ways? Last time I just got really pissed off and pushed til I was like blacking out from the pressure almost or something.

[Mirana]

Sometiems in the corner of my eye, I can see smoke engulfing. But I turn around and tehre's nothing

[IIIII]

Originally Posted by Unwires

Last time I pushed til I was like blacking out from the pressure almost or something.

That's what killed Elvis.

Enema, before your shit gets so compacted it forms a plug.

[Miley Highrus]

Originally Posted by IIIII

That's what killed Elvis.

Enema, before your shit gets so compacted it forms a plug.

Well I've stopped eating cuz I didn't want it to pile up more all I had since then is a small bowl of Mac and cheese. Where the fuck do u get an enema

[IWD]

Originally Posted by Unwires

I've been constipated for over 24 hours now and its getting old. This is the second time in my life and let me tell you its hell. I tried just about everything.

I drank lots of coffee,water, and prune juice. I took twice the recommended dose of exlax and still nothing.

Anyone have any unconventional ways? Last time I just got really pissed off and pushed til I was like blacking out from the pressure almost or something.

24 hours isnt shit. (lolpun)

I used to be an opiate addict (still am, not using, whatever) and one time when I was doing hydromorphone I couldnt take a shit for 11 days. THAT was hell, but either way, constipation is hell and can kill you.

Here is what you do.

If you can afford or access this stuff, get some sodium docusate (little pink gelcaps usually). Take twice the recommended amount of 1, and drink a litre of water with them. That way, tomorrow you will be able to shit. If you want to get it done faster, buy some KY lube, and pull that shit out (lolpun) with your index finger until the plug is broken up, and then the rest will come.

/gross post.

Oh yeah, try smoking a cigarette while youre attempting to shit.

[IWD]

If you are in a REALLY shitty situation ( lolpun, as in, you havent shit a week from now) then seriously, take some meth. Meth is horrible for you, but one use is better than dying from constipation. You will shit anything inside of you out instantly no matter how large.

[IWD]

Originally Posted by Unwires

Well I've stopped eating cuz I didn't want it to pile up more all I had since then is a small bowl of Mac and cheese. Where the fuck do u get an enema

That time I went 11 days, I had to get one. It was shitty (lolpun).

You go to emerge. Explain it to the nurse. You wait in a room, a nurse comes in, you drop your pants and lie on your left side. She inserts a little tube thing in your ass (its tiny, but thats not the uncomfortable part surprisingly) and then it sprays this soapy water up your ass. It is VERY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. You wait 5 minutes, and then you will run to the bathroom. If you still cant shit, god forbid (its so uncomfortable, SO UNCOMFORTABLE) then they do it again, and if you STILL cant shit, I guess they put a glove on and break it apart with their hands and pull it out. I never got to that point thank god. It seems embarassing, but when you are constipated to a certain extreme you wont give a shit about that (lolpun) you will just want that shit out of you.

Shit sucks man.

[Vox Ducis]

Drinking a lot of milk and eating chilies should help you shit.

You can add ground cayenne pepper on a 4 cheese pizza or make a chicken/vegetable soup using the hottest chili puree you can find.

[Dionysus]

Magnesium.

[Malice]

Suck it up and buy an enema for situations like this. That's what I did.

This one: http://www.drugstore.com/goodhealth-...acity/qxp72138

[Mayweather]

Originally Posted by Malice

Suck it up and buy an enema for situations like this. That's what I did.

This one: http://www.drugstore.com/goodhealth-...acity/qxp72138

http://www.zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=251228

[adhesive tape]

Originally Posted by IWD

24 hours isnt shit. (lolpun)

I used to be an opiate addict (still am, not using, whatever) and one time when I was doing hydromorphone I couldnt take a shit for 11 days. THAT was hell, but either way, constipation is hell and can kill you.

Here is what you do.

If you can afford or access this stuff, get some sodium docusate (little pink gelcaps usually). Take twice the recommended amount of 1, and drink a litre of water with them. That way, tomorrow you will be able to shit. If you want to get it done faster, buy some KY lube, and pull that shit out (lolpun) with your index finger until the plug is broken up, and then the rest will come.

/gross post.

Oh yeah, try smoking a cigarette while youre attempting to http://www.zoklet.net/bbs/images/icons/m833bd.gifshit.

This. I have shit out rocks that looked like a Geodude with blood on it. I've practically cried from how hard it was to shit. Buy some fiber capsules. Take like 4-5 of them and you will be shitting Yoo-hoo. I know a dude who's been shooting dope for 20+ years, he only shits once every 2 weeks. Constipation is pretty serious shit (lol). Eat lots of fruit, raw veggies, stuff with fiber in it and three Dulcolax tabs. If that doesn't make you shit, see a fucking doctor. But honestly 24 hours is nothing to worry about, once you hit the 6 day mark then you can start worrying.

[HLC]

math students work it out with a pencil

[Miley Highrus]

I'm sick of this shit i wanna stick something up there and break it up what would be good?

[Haiti's Space Agency]

Prunes shit loads of fiber, and exercise. Go for a nice jog play some hoops whatever if you don't shit by bed time after a days diet of fiber and excercise then laxatives or stool softeners.

[Miley Highrus]

Originally Posted by Haiti's Space Agency

Prunes shit loads of fiber, and exercise. Go for a nice jog play some hoops whatever if you don't shit by bed time after a days diet of fiber and excercise then laxatives or stool softeners.

Past that part bro

[The Pat-Man]

keep eating too man you gotta get the train rolling, sit on the toilet backwards, go for a run, smoke a cigarette, lots of coffee.

[SoulButter]

Originally Posted by Unwires

I'm sick of this shit i wanna stick something up there and break it up what would be good?

Highlighter.

[Struwwelpeter]

Constipation is a good thing. Don't believe the hype about not being constipated.

[Fox Paws]

Magnesium sulfate, aka epsom salt.

Failing that, they also sell laxative green tea at the grocery store, it's pretty effective

[Miley Highrus]

I'm free!!!! I grabbed the skinniest pen I could and was about to start shoving it up there but it felt like it was coming out. But barely, I pushed as hard as I could thinking I was for sure shitting out my intestines and ploop!
I think fear drove it out of me lol.

[Malcolm Equis]

lol this faggot couldnt hold his shit in for 1 day

[Miley Highrus]

Originally Posted by Malcolm Equis

lol this faggot couldnt hold his shit in for 1 day

Honestly if it wasn't for work I would of been a lot less motivated but feeling like that at work is torture. Not to mention it feels like I gotta shit always so I'm just waiting for that one time where I shit my pants because obviously I cant run to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

[Derision]

Take 1 or 2 stool softeners, eat apples, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes.

[reggie_love]

For a less drastic option: eat a bigass, really leafy salad. Romaine with lots of crunchy white part in it. The fiber and moisture can really get things moving again.

[reject]

One time on opes I went 8 days without shitting.

It was so solid and big when I finally did it ripped my ass and there was blood when I wiped.

That was not fun.

[Kinkou]

one time i didn't pewp for 3 days and i was so concerned (after trying coffee then rehydrating) i used epsom salt that night, the smallest dose they suggest......

i had diarrhea the next day, all day. don't do drugs kids, like epsom salt. its just another word for bath salts. lawl!

[backseat footjob]

take a shot or two of olive oil.

[The Big LeBronowski]

put on a glove when ur shitting and push until u can feel it but it wont come out and stick ur hand in the gaping hole and pull out shit until u get enough clumps that the big shit just falls out

[Kinkou]

drink plenty of water & some coconut water or gatorade or whatever floats your boat.... you are probably already dehydrated & anyway you get that shit out you will be even more dehydrated afterwards. especially if you try the epsom salt.

[meateor]

I've always had a really sensitive digestive system. When I was on vicodin I didn't shit for just over a week. Passed that shit the old fashioned way.

Blood.


Blood everywhere.

[YoureATowel]

Your threads always make me

I don't understand how not shitting for one day freaks you out. If you DON'T EAT.. you DON'T SHIT. Its pretty simple. One bowl of mac n cheese isn't going to give you mounds of shit.. jesus.

[Rainycity]

Since im mildly lactose, i eat icecream and smoke weed, then eat mcdonalds. Then shit just pours out.

[bumble]

OP, I donno if this has been suggested yet but exercise. I know that sounds weird but it really helps me whenever I'm constipated, it kinda "shake things" up inside. Also, drink more hot stuff, tea, coffee, whatever. It'll get it moving.

Edit: ALSO look for a home enema kit. Or, you can do a "DIY" enema if you'd like, but this is probably dangerous but I've done it. If you have a turkey baster or a "bulb syringe" (that thing they use to get baby boogers out.) It will work. Just squirt A LITTLE bit of water, like, first notch on a measuring cup little, up your butt. That'll usually get the turd moist enough to come out. Lay on your side when you do this. It WILL hurt a little, but it works.

[IWD]

Originally Posted by reject

One time on opes I went 8 days without shitting.

It was so solid and big when I finally did it ripped my ass and there was blood when I wiped.

That was not fun.

Yeah... that happens all the time to people that commonly do opiates. Thats what shitting is. Its better that way too. It will toughen your bitch ass up. Also, who wants a bunch of nasty wet and soft shit all over their choda?

[ThaTermeneter]

help im EPSOM SALTING

[Proots]

Provided you drink enough water and eat enough fruit, you'll never be constipated again. Exercising/staying active helps, too.

[General Butt.Naked]

24 hours is not anything that requires a thread dude. Even 2 or 3 days wouldnt warrant one. Seriously. Take laxatives. At this point, I dont think most people would consider it an annoyance, much less life threatening. If its a big deal to you, there are a number of products meant for this exact thing. Now if this had been a week or something, I could see you asking for advice....

But some of us have gone 3 weeks, and we figured it out.

[ThaTermeneter]

I don't get how you can't poo
all of you that have trouble are heroin
heads etc?

I don't eat that healthy IMO but I still have
nice pleasant moist shits

[Xlite]

1: Insert small chunk of bar sope in your anus
2: Wait patiently a few minutes.
3: Prepare for your asshole becoming a hose.
4: Paint your walls with shit juice.