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  #1  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:25 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Banged GF's roommate

Okay, so I went out to a nightclub with my girlfriend and her friends and got shitfaced. I wanted to go home and so did her roommate. GF wanted to go to eat with the other girls that came. So I drove her roommate back to their room where she asks if I want to come in and wait for GF.
So, I get into their room and this bitch strips down to her underwear and gets into bed. I'm like sweet eye candy. So I got on the bed(outside the covers) waiting for GF to get home. This chick then gets back out from under the covers and says "It's so hot." and proceeds to take off her bra and smash me in the face with it accidentally. She rolls up with her back against me and starts squeezing my cock. I started playing with her nipples. She turns around and faces me and kisses me. She unzips my jeans and I couldn't control myself any longer I slid off my jeans and before I could get both of my legs out she was sucking on my cock. She asked me if I had any condoms, I told her I didn't. She walked over to a handbag and grabbed out a fresh pack of condoms took one out and put the pack back into the bag. She sucked my dick for a little longer then we got down to it. After cleaning up I got a phone call from GF. She was heading back to her room.

The girl who I had just banged was freaking out telling me not to say anything. I told her no problem I'll keep quiet if you keep quiet.
GF arrived, nothing unusual the perfect crime, I thought to myself. My GF suggested that we go sleep at my house. Ok so we were about to leave when GF asks if I had any condoms. No, I replied.
She walked over and grabbed the same bag the other girl had got the condom from. Pulls out the packet of condoms with one missing with a confused look on her face. She walked directly towards the bin.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFU CKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUC KFUCK

She started making fun of her roommate about how she knows about the guy she boned(Innocently GF thought it was someone else). I made an excuse and left without this GF.

GF just called me and told me she knows.

Long story short, flush your condoms.
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  #2  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:26 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

long story short you're a fucking liar.
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  #3  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:30 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

ITT: Truth and Jealousy.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

I'm not sure to laugh at this or what. I can't decide if you're just a fucking idiot or a piss poor troll. I'm leaning towards both.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:31 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
ITT: Truth and Jealousy.
Why would I be jealous that you had sex? She could have weighed 300 pounds for all I know.
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  #6  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:33 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

They are both petite asians.

I was owned by alcohol/self.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
They are both petite asians.

I was owned by alcohol/self.
Are you Asian?
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Most excellent.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:37 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

mix.
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Last edited by uncutdiamond; 01-05-2013 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:38 AM
Azure Azure is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

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Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
No fucking way. I'm white.
Fucking traitor.
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  #11  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:39 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Are you going to post anything on topic? Or continue being a jealous redneck Amerifag.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:41 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

LOL self owned.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:42 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

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Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
Are you going to post anything on topic? Or continue being a jealous redneck Amerifag.
I was kidding bro, I'm cool with Asians.

Even fictional ones.
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  #14  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:44 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

I live in Thailand dude, there is way more pussy than you could poke a cock at.
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:46 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
I live in Thailand dude, there is way more pussy than you could poke a cock at.
Just make sure you don't get one that has a dick. I hear it's hard to tell sometimes. Be wary if a "girl" is too eager for anal. Be safe.
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  #16  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:46 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
I live in Thailand dude, there is way more pussy than you could poke a cock at.
Most them are also trannies.

So back to your story. Did the broad break up with you, or is she still being naive?
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:50 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
I live in Thailand dude, there is way more pussy than you could poke a cock at.
Then your girlfriend should know that too and made sure you never went with anyone of the competition.

Oh and long story short: Pics or it didn't happen. Never post a story like this without pics...Nobody is going to believe you!
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  #18  
Old 04-01-2010, 03:57 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Azure View Post
Just make sure you don't get one that has a dick. I hear it's hard to tell sometimes. Be wary if a "girl" is too eager for anal. Be safe.
I speak the local language and chill with locals. You can tell by A. body, B.voice and C. disposition. If all of these fail my Thai friend said PROTIP: you touch them on the arm(tricep) and if its soft go for it, otherwise run home backwards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marijuanasaurus View Post
So back to your story. Did the broad break up with you, or is she still being naive?
She broke up with me and the girl I banged isn't answering the phone.
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Old 04-01-2010, 04:00 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
I speak the local language and chill with locals. You can tell by A. body, B.voice and C. disposition. If all of these fail my Thai friend said PROTIP: you touch them on the arm(tricep) and if its soft go for it, otherwise run home backwards.



She broke up with me and the girl I banged isn't answering the phone.
LOL double pwned
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  #20  
Old 04-01-2010, 04:02 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

I'll just go out, get wasted and find another one.
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  #21  
Old 04-01-2010, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

wash rinse repeat
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  #22  
Old 04-01-2010, 04:13 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
I speak the local language and chill with locals. You can tell by A. body, B.voice and C. disposition. If all of these fail my Thai friend said PROTIP: you touch them on the arm(tricep) and if its soft go for it, otherwise run home backwards.



She broke up with me and the girl I banged isn't answering the phone.
Good man at least you won't be caught off guard.
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  #23  
Old 04-01-2010, 04:15 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Anyone else have any similar stories?
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  #24  
Old 04-01-2010, 05:17 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

I must say, this intrigued me.
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  #25  
Old 04-01-2010, 05:21 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
Anyone else have any similar stories?
DAMNIT!! I typed out this great story kinda similar to yours on my iphone but since Im all fucking blazed it took too long and I was logged out due to inactivity or something.Happens ALL the time!!!

anyways.

I do have a story pretty similar to your's.

alright,when I was seventeen I selling weed and was the pimp of the school yada yada.

Well I had three girls I was fucking at the same time.Not literally lol.Just three girls that put out.

well,I was out with girl 2 and she wanted to smoke and then fuck.I just ran out earlier that day of my personal stash.

Also earlier that day I sold girl 1 a sack.

So being the "Pimp" I was And not wanting to smoke my "business weed" I called it, I called up girl 1 and asked if she would loan me a bowl because I ran out.lol.she says sure come over.

So I pull into the driveway and tell girl 2 that I'll be out in a minute and leave my vehicle running.

I walk in and girl 1 is looking GOOOOOD! showing some MEGA cleavage.She walks up all sexy holding a bag in her hand and says to me "You gotta do me a favor if you want some of this"

and I try to tell her I gotta meet some friends but she wasnt having it.I didnt even finish my sentence before she was kissing my neck and squeezing/grabbing my dick!!! She works her way down to her knee's and starts giving mea blowjob.She was REALLY into it too! She was using her best moves I could tell.

( I knew what she was trying to do...Get me all horny and make it impossible to leave without fucking her)

But I was wise to her game so I just let her continue sucking my dick.So I started complimenting her telling her she "was doing such a good job" and that "I have never had a better blowjob" blah blah blah.well,eventually I get to the point where Im going to cum and she EVEN lets me blow on her face!

I pull my pants up and tell her "Thanks" and grab te weed and leave.

I get into my car,drive to my favorite smoke spot with girl 2 smoke her up and then proceed to fuck girl 2 in the back of my SUV.

I drop girl 2 off and head to my best friends house to tell him what the fuck just happened.

I felt like the baddest motherfucker alive!

I think thats KINDA similar,but I didnt get caught.
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  #26  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:06 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Bullshit.

On the basis:
A. the girl waiting in the car would have had to wait a long time(or you are a 2 stroker).

B. the chick that was inside the house didn't follow you out/invite you to smoke there.
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  #27  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:30 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

yeah no girl would just give you a bowl of weed AND suck your dick on top of it. she said "you gotta do something for me" not vice versa.
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  #28  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:34 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

UPDATE: EXGF's roommate called shes going to come and see me today at 9.30
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  #29  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:38 AM
Sir Cornwell Sir Cornwell is online now
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

So. Your ex is not busy? Hmmmm.
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  #30  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:45 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell View Post
So. Your ex is not busy? Hmmmm.
Free man, but there is a reason I have selected this new meat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nutsack View Post
She angry?
Oh yeah she is pissed

Quote:
Originally Posted by nutsack View Post
That house is going to be a bitch fest thanks to you
Man, I don't even care I told the new girl to blame it all on me.
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  #31  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:46 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knuckles View Post
DAMNIT!! I typed out this great story kinda similar to yours on my iphone but since Im all fucking blazed it took too long and I was logged out due to inactivity or something.Happens ALL the time!!!

anyways.

I do have a story pretty similar to your's.

alright,when I was seventeen I selling weed and was the pimp of the school yada yada.

Well I had three girls I was fucking at the same time.Not literally lol.Just three girls that put out.

well,I was out with girl 2 and she wanted to smoke and then fuck.I just ran out earlier that day of my personal stash.

Also earlier that day I sold girl 1 a sack.

So being the "Pimp" I was And not wanting to smoke my "business weed" I called it, I called up girl 1 and asked if she would loan me a bowl because I ran out.lol.she says sure come over.

So I pull into the driveway and tell girl 2 that I'll be out in a minute and leave my vehicle running.

I walk in and girl 1 is looking GOOOOOD! showing some MEGA cleavage.She walks up all sexy holding a bag in her hand and says to me "You gotta do me a favor if you want some of this"

and I try to tell her I gotta meet some friends but she wasnt having it.I didnt even finish my sentence before she was kissing my neck and squeezing/grabbing my dick!!! She works her way down to her knee's and starts giving mea blowjob.She was REALLY into it too! She was using her best moves I could tell.

( I knew what she was trying to do...Get me all horny and make it impossible to leave without fucking her)

But I was wise to her game so I just let her continue sucking my dick.So I started complimenting her telling her she "was doing such a good job" and that "I have never had a better blowjob" blah blah blah.well,eventually I get to the point where Im going to cum and she EVEN lets me blow on her face!

I pull my pants up and tell her "Thanks" and grab te weed and leave.

I get into my car,drive to my favorite smoke spot with girl 2 smoke her up and then proceed to fuck girl 2 in the back of my SUV.

I drop girl 2 off and head to my best friends house to tell him what the fuck just happened.

I felt like the baddest motherfucker alive!

I think thats KINDA similar,but I didnt get caught.
Reminds me of the time I got domed up by two girls.

I felt like the king of the world.
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  #32  
Old 04-01-2010, 06:56 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Marijuanasaurus: expand
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Old 04-01-2010, 06:58 AM
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Post Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
Bullshit.

On the basis:
A. the girl waiting in the car would have had to wait a long time(or you are a 2 stroker).

B. the chick that was inside the house didn't follow you out/invite you to smoke there.
Fucking hater.

Your story sounds like it came from "Cosmopolitan" the "how she caught me cheating" section and his from grasscity.com, "dude, life is great" thread.
So what the fuck is this, pot calling the kettle black?



And speaking of bullshit, just like psycho_8b said, where are the pictures?
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  #34  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:03 AM
iSocrates iSocrates is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

mariuanarex made a better story bro.
but urs was cool to
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  #35  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:06 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janitor/rapist View Post
Fucking hater....So what the fuck is this, pot calling the kettle black?
Sarcasm? FAGGOT
Quote:
Originally Posted by janitor/rapist View Post

Your story sounds like it came from "Cosmopolitan" the "how she caught me cheating" section.
You seem like such an avid reader knowing both the genre and apparently the section.
FAGGOT
Quote:
Originally Posted by janitor/rapist View Post
where are the pictures?
This is a fair point but I was not ready at the time.
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  #36  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:08 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
Marijuanasaurus: expand
I think I posted it here once. Im too lazy to tell the whole story.
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  #37  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

I knew you were lying by the time I got to the second paragraph.
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  #38  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:12 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncutdiamond View Post
GF just called me and told me she knows.

Long story short, flush your condoms.
Man... That's the oldest trick in the book.

Tell someone that "you know", and have them confess.

You should've denied everything.

I mean, how could she know it was you? If her roommate was a bitch and told her, then it's your word against some bitch's word. Unless she made some kind of forensic analysis on the evidence, she had nothing on you.
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  #39  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:16 AM
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

Hey! Maybe she sucked the juice out of the rubber and said, "Ah-ha! I recognize his taste."
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  #40  
Old 04-01-2010, 07:19 AM
uncutdiamond uncutdiamond is offline
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Default Re: Banged GF's roommate

They live together, and I want the new model.

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Last edited by uncutdiamond; 04-01-2010 at 07:28 AM.
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