Archived: 40 days

[nuclearrabbit]

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you where I've been for the past few weeks.

Some of you may know I'm active army. Well we do a lot of dumb shit like go to the field for weeks at a time. Most recently my unit took a trip all the way across Germany to Grafenwoehr's Camp Aachen for some training. It's onyl about 270 miles away but the drive there, phew, damn,

Day 0; convoy out. Everything this whole day has been confusing as fuck. Vehicle load plans, finding everyone, packing my shit, coordinating with my LT... Damn. We finally roll out at 1800 and, of course, 1 mile down the road one of the vehicles in my convoy popped its radiator. Get that fixed and roll on. A couple hours of driving later; we're lost. About 50km outta the way which ended up being 100k going back the other way. Halfway there we stop for refueling. This little gas station has some Germans inside who look scared shitless as dozens of US soldiers raid their shelves.
We finally arrive the next morning just as the sun comes up. I sleep 'til noon.

Day 1; PMCS my vehicle. Mechanics are retarded. Find my wife whose unit is also in the field for training.

Day 2; Had a sick guy needin' a medic as I walked out of the shower. Saved him. Drove my LT around all day. From our camp to the north of the base. Down to the south end and again back up to the north. Hours of driving.

Day 3; The rest of my unit arrives. We unpack and start setting up our aid station. Everything everywhere.

Day 4; Same as above. Cover railhead, nobody gets crushed by the M113's coming off the train.

Day 5rained 30ccs of red wine looking fluid from a patients knee. Awesome. Can't sleep because motherfuckers are snoring. Want to drop NPA's in 'em.

Day 6; running CAT5 cables over the roof of our command post.

Day 7; Cover Mk 19 range. Wake up at 0330, roll out and set up. Hear the grenades flying downrange. Pieces of frag keep flying downrange after they explode. One firer hit the barrel of a tank at 800m. Had to cease fire for deer on the range. Getting in to night time, the grenades make nice flashes that light up downrange. Someone either stole a casing or we lost it in the dunnage but SGM came out and yelled at everyone over accountability of brass. Rumor starts that we'll have to stay at the range overnight. Hook thermal sights to the grenade launchers, lingering smoke downrange and amazing echoes. Tracers from another range fly past the moon. Finish up the range and get back to sleep at midnight.

Day 8; My wifes unit leaves. Took a skin staple in my arm, practices sutures on a banana, drained that guys knee again and gave someone an IV.

Day 9; Mk 19 range again. Snowing when we roll up. Tossed around dud fired grenades. Rode in the back of a M113 with the worlds shittiest driver. The chock block I was sitting on pretty much went up my ass. (The driver was the guy whose knee we drained all the time.) The night portion of the range was cancelled, back home at 0100.

Day 10; Unnecessary medical procedures. Sliced a guy open with a scalpel and stapled him back together. Gave my CO an injection. Cool?

Day 11; One of our medics gets promoted to CPL. I go through the AT4 range. Can't see shit with the gas mask and night vision, shooting in the dark.
We finished the day portion of the range early so I went back to the aid station for most of the day. I put an NPA in myself and gave my LT an IV. Tried to give myself an IV but I just bled all over.

Day 12; Tried to give a girl an IV but she had no veins. More slicing and suturing for no good reason. As we were cleaning the blood off one guy's back someone drew a big sharpie penis.

Day 13; Got woken up an hour early because of poor planning on the other company's fault. Packed up my ruck sack and went out to the M249 range for a long stay. Gave out a dozen pairs of hearing protection. Range control rolled by and checked my shit. I got to fire the SAW at night with night vision. Killed my target. Slept on a stretcher in the back of the MedEvac truck. Cold as hell and couldn't sleep because radio guard was in the same truck. Drank a gallon of water throughout the day.

Day 14; Up at 7, frozen. Shave half my face off. Get checked by range control again. Fucking bored. Gave the LT running the range some cough syrup. He got fucked up on it, lol. Some 1 star general came through but didn't do shit. I never even saw him. Demo shots on another range shoot my truck. Tons of tracers all around that night. Fell asleep to the sound of a distant .50 cal tearin' shit up.

Day 15; Not so cold this morning. Gave out a bandaid. Really. Got told by some E5 "Nein." to giving an IV for no reason. Saw a fox trying to find food in the dumpster. Ran 800m down a hot range in full battle rattle to put out a fire. Didn't look that big or so far away. It was. The last shooter of the day fired a tracer in to the berm along the side of the range and it lit right up. Swatted and extinguished the fire. Range still hot. Drive back to the camp, hop out the HMMWV and roll my ankle so bad I threw off my helmet and body armor, puked and almost passed out from the pain. Dragged all my shit back from the motor pool. Got to sleep at 2330.

Day 16; Ankle all fucked up.Tried to aspirate a cyst on a guy's face, didn't get shit.

Day 17; Qualified on the M203 grenade launcher. Easy. Read The Boneman's Daughter in one sitting. Watched an army girl get hit on relentlessly. Line company idiots. Almost ran over deer on the way back.

Day 18idn't plan to go to a range this day but volunteered for M500 shotgun at the last minute. Rode in the convoy as gunner, that was cold as fuck with all the wind in my face. Waited forever for the range to go hot because we couldn't communicate with range control or anyone without a functional radio. Got told I didn't qualify by 1 target before they changed the standard. Kicked off the range because there's not enough ammo for everyone. Gay. Someone fell getting out of their truck and yelled "Medic!" for a twisted ankle. Slept in the truck for about an hour, full battle. Kinda comfortable if you find the right position. Played with an electric muscle stimulator when we got back to the camp. Gnarled my face up awesome. Got woken up to give a guy some maalox. People suck.

Day 19; Not a damn thing. Army guys are annoying to be around. Notice the bruise at the base of my thumb from where I pinched it between a recoiling shotgun and my body armor. Oops. Guy came in with an infected finger that he had smashed in a .50 cal machine gun. Two of our soldiers who're fuckin' eachother being disgusting in the barracks. Bitches aren't allowed where the guys sleep. Woken up at 2300 for a bandaid. Scrubbed that guys cut with gauze. Fucker.

Day 20; Morning PT canceled because it's snowing. Didn't sleep for shit. Breakfast and lunch were awful, DFAC makes up for it by having Chinese for dinner.

Day 21; Everyone at the buddy team live fire range needs hearing protection, tylenol, something. I'd been hoping someone would get shot. Well, I guess I caused this. One of my soldiers tore his ACL and meniscus running on the range. I went exploring through all the tunnels and shit. Get a break and come home to see my wife for 4 days.

[nuclearrabbit]

Day 22; Back on a bus headed for the field. Hot as hell. Leave my base at 1730. Missin' my wife bad. The bus gets pulled over, hah. Get to the gate at 2300 and roll up to the camp at 2330. Midnight formation. Get woken up at 0100 for a cyst on a guys back. I tell him to come back later.

Day 23; Up at 0550 to ruck out to the urban ops site 5 miles away. Kicked a snail. Take 90 minutes because people want to go slow and be pussy. Depressed. Explore the tunnels under the MOUT city. Modern Army Combatives (Gay wrestling) waiting for the ride back to camp.

Day 24; Sham out of PT. Hip hurts, probably from the ruck march the day before last.

Day 25; Hip hurts doing a run for PT. Got off work at 1300. Pack for the 3 day long range tomorrow.

Day 26; Rolled my ankle for the 3rd time, the second was at Ramstein during the break. Threw all my shit in a track, had to move it to a truck. Ride out to range control and sit there forever. Fall asleep. Wake up at the engineer qualification range. Exploraventuring. Standing outside, uncovered and unprepared for a 120lb detonation. Cool. I'm scared to POOP in the woods. Slept in the cold ass truck.

Day 27; Colder than fuck. Can't feel my toes, think my bladder's frozen. Sittin' in the truck all day. Guy wants to have me check his STD. Haha, fuck that. Feelin' a little homesick. Felt the ground shake before I heard the shockwave. Really gotta crap. Saw a LIZERD. Relent. Dug a hole and crapped in the woods. Sergeant Major yelled at me and my driver for not being ready to roll if someone calls for a medic. They don't have a radio to call us. Watched another army girl get hit on. My driver wanted to sleep with me in the back of the truck. Fine.

Day 28; Cold as fuck. Engineers doing demo while I'm outside again. Napped on top of the ammo supply point bunker. Ride back to base in a smelly and dusty track. Unpacked, showered, chilled.

Day 29; One of our girls has a miscarriage in the latrine. I might have to go to sapper school. Gave our little sister medic an IV and froze her arm with a pressure infuser.

Day 30; PT hurt my ass, everything's sore. My CO saw pterodactyl porn. Gave some IVs, tried myself again but I must have Hancock skin because the needle would not pierce me no matter how hard I pushed. Hooked two 1L saline bags together and took it like it's my job. Chugged a liter of water, got light headed and pissed forever.

Day 31; Really fucking sore at PT. Ass hurtin' and legs sore. Waddled around. Practiced knots. Got an injection of sterile water, that shit hurts. Made a "Fuck you" stencil.

Day 32; Guy comes in with a 102.5 fever. He's almost cooking his own brain. Stuck him with an IV and looked in his throat. Strep. I'm the only person in the aid station when 1SG tells me to get ready for an incoming patient with shrapnel wounds to the face from his weapon exploding. Guy never comes because they took him straight to the German hospital. It wasn't even as serious as it sounds, he had a piece of brass stuck in his cheek. Drank 2 liters of rehydration salts and set up a tent.

Day 33; Fucked around trying to make a broken firewire HD work. Lost one of my privates. She was sleeping 'til noon. WTF? Saw a guy with a tower of power on his arm, damn. Pulled outta my bunk after work for a guy complaining of chest pain. When they told him the medic was coming he left. Asshold.

Day 34; Unstable platform gunnery. Policed up tons of brass 'cause I had nothing better to do. Marked my territory in the woods. Slept in the truck a little, my female driver snored like crazy. The range was on fire so we left. The trees on the side of the road look like a black and white photo from all the dust that settles on them. Chow hall stayed open late for me.

Day 35; Start rucking at 0630, 50lbs on my back. Hit the turnaround point in the woods and roll my ankle for the fucking 7th, hopefully last, time. My own pace for the ruck was good but I kept having to fall back to the rear of my company. My feet and hips were hurtin'. The last mile wasn't so bad but the 3 before that sucked the worst. Not too many fall outs. Finished in 3 hours and 20 minutes. If I didn't have to stop and wrap peoples feet or other dumb shit I'd do under 3. After the ruck we stood in formation forever, my legs and arms went numb. CO's got huge blisters over his whole heel. SGM serves beer. My feet are worn down smooth and shiny. Got a blister on top of a blister. 3-4 infantry does a 34 mile ruck with 34 pounds. Fuck that. Off at 1530, motherfuckers snore like wildebeests.

Day 36; Feet and hips sore. No food 'cause the DFAC is closed. Pack up our aid station, PMCS our vehicles and load everything in the trucks. Raining. Climb all over the trucks. Foot hurts like a motherfucker, might be broken. Found a big snail and two live 40mm grenades in the back of our truck. God damnit.

Day 37; Limp around all day waiting to leave. SP at 1100, 35 minutes later the same truck that broke down coming to Graf does the same leaving. Hit a stau near Nurnberg. Some German guy in a little car flicks me off, I swerve my HMMWV at him. Fucker. Waved to some kids. Fell asleep driving, my LT yelled at me but I can't hear her anyway. Finally home at 1930. Locked out of my room. Gay.



That's from the journal sort of thing I kept while I was out there. Teal deer you're gay.

[Mantikore]

i was expecting bel air

[loveaddict]

<3 you.

[nuclearrabbit]

Originally Posted by nutsack

What was your original mos?

Why do you ask?


Me chillin'.


Some dud 40mm grenades.


Boolats.


My foots.


Badass.


The ASP.


lol


Colonel, Sergeant Major and the range cadre.


Target got his head torn off with det cord.


M113 with Mk 19 grenade launcher.


SAW brass.


SAWs.


It was cold.


Ammo.

[Dfg]

inb4terroristswin.


Man, that's a long fucking read.

*Puts on his imaginary glasses*

[kfc v lot]

Fuck me!

Looks like fun at the m113..
If only this thread was elsewhere I'd give thanks

[SYCunny]

Man the fuck up. You sound like an immature little bitch.

[Cunto McFadyen]

I didn't know Ummerica was at war with Germany?

[TruthWielder]

Awesome thread.

This is a wonderful natural look at army life. Thanks nuclear. Btw in the pic of you you look about 10 years old.

[Actor]

You got a penis launcher?

[nuclearrabbit]

Originally Posted by loveaddict

<3 you.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

Originally Posted by TruthWielder

Awesome thread.

This is a wonderful natural look at army life. Thanks nuclear. Btw in the pic of you you look about 10 years old.

Yeah, I know. I act about 5.

[SYCunny]

why are all of you slobbering all over this faggot's cock?

[nuclearrabbit]

Originally Posted by SYCunny

why are all of you slobbering all over this faggot's cock?

Easy access, I guess.

Originally Posted by SYCunny

Man the fuck up. You sound like an immature little bitch.

Man the fuck up? I'm in the army.

[SYCunny]

Originally Posted by nuclearrabbit

Easy access, I guess.



Man the fuck up? I'm in the army.

The u.s. army is for gay boiz.

[Animal Farm Pig]

I'm so glad I got my ass out of the Army. That sounded like 40 days of total shit.

[Kwinnie Bogan]

It was still an interesting read, but you owe us 3 days
I wish to elaborate, but I must do this later.

[TruthWielder]

Originally Posted by SYCunny

The u.s. army is for gay boiz.

I'd love to hear your little faggot ass say that to a soldiers face, or worse, mine.

[nuclearrabbit]

Originally Posted by KwinnieBogan

It was still an interesting read, but you owe us 3 days
I wish to elaborate, but I must do this later.

I went to Ramstein, made sweet sweet love down by the fire with loveaddict and uhhh... yeah. x 3 days.

[SYCunny]

Originally Posted by TruthWielder

I'd love to hear your little faggot ass say that to a soldiers face, or worse, mine.

and who are you? some faggot living in your momma's basement? I'd say it to you, but I dont associate with faggots, so ill say it to you over this message board. You are a faggot along with most of the u.s. army.

[loveaddict]

Originally Posted by SYCunny

The u.s. army is for gay boiz (lol fag).

lol, the majority of soldiers in the Army follow the "Don't ask, Don't tell, Don't demonstrate" rule.

Plus, Nuke's married. To me. He only acts gay.....

[TruthWielder]

Originally Posted by SYCunny

and who are you? some faggot living in your momma's basement? I'd say it to you, but I dont associate with faggots, so ill say it to you over this message board. You are a faggot along with most of the u.s. army.

Its alright buddy, I understand how small your prick must feel when you realize that it would take the combined might of the rest of the world to match our military, but please, go ahead and type the word faggot as many times as you want. It wont change the sheer fact that you're an insignificant little turd who would sooner jump off a cliff as stand up to anyone, let alone a US soldier.

[SYCunny]

Originally Posted by TruthWielder

Its alright buddy, I understand how small your prick must feel when you realize that it would take the combined might of the rest of the world to match our military, but please, go ahead and type the word faggot as many times as you want. It wont change the sheer fact that you're an insignificant little turd who would sooner jump off a cliff as stand up to anyone, let alone a US soldier.

Well I'm glad you have your national pride to help your ego because rumor around here is you're gay.

Although your gay military may be strong, that doesn't change the fact they like cocks. Like those really gay buff body builders that get weak in the knees at the sight of a fly. Stop sidestepping the issue.

[TruthWielder]

Originally Posted by SYCunny

Well I'm glad you have your national pride to help your ego because rumor around here is you're gay.

Although your gay military may be strong, that doesn't change the fact they like cocks. Like those really gay buff body builders that get weak in the knees at the sight of a fly. Stop sidestepping the issue.

Lol yeah, "around here". You're a serf kiddo. You know nothing about me and less about this community. I just realized you're the same idiot that made that lame troll thread about killing your dog. Perhaps you're still trolling now. Way to be a waste of bandwidth.

[SYCunny]

Originally Posted by TruthWielder

Lol yeah, "around here". You're a serf kiddo. You know nothing about me and less about this community. I just realized you're the same idiot that made that lame troll thread about killing your dog. Perhaps you're still trolling now. Way to be a waste of bandwidth.

says the guy replying to the "troll."

you are even dumber then you look.