Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you where I've been for the past few weeks.
Some of you may know I'm active army. Well we do a lot of dumb shit like go to the field for weeks at a time. Most recently my unit took a trip all the way across Germany to Grafenwoehr's Camp Aachen for some training. It's onyl about 270 miles away but the drive there, phew, damn,
Day 0; convoy out. Everything this whole day has been confusing as fuck. Vehicle load plans, finding everyone, packing my shit, coordinating with my LT... Damn. We finally roll out at 1800 and, of course, 1 mile down the road one of the vehicles in my convoy popped its radiator. Get that fixed and roll on. A couple hours of driving later; we're lost. About 50km outta the way which ended up being 100k going back the other way. Halfway there we stop for refueling. This little gas station has some Germans inside who look scared shitless as dozens of US soldiers raid their shelves.
We finally arrive the next morning just as the sun comes up. I sleep 'til noon.
Day 1; PMCS my vehicle. Mechanics are retarded. Find my wife whose unit is also in the field for training.
Day 2; Had a sick guy needin' a medic as I walked out of the shower. Saved him.
Drove my LT around all day. From our camp to the north of the base. Down to the south end and again back up to the north. Hours of driving.
Day 3; The rest of my unit arrives. We unpack and start setting up our aid station. Everything everywhere.
Day 4; Same as above. Cover railhead, nobody gets crushed by the M113's coming off the train.
rained 30ccs of red wine looking fluid from a patients knee. Awesome. Can't sleep because motherfuckers are snoring. Want to drop NPA's in 'em.
Day 6; running CAT5 cables over the roof of our command post.
Day 7; Cover Mk 19 range. Wake up at 0330, roll out and set up. Hear the grenades flying downrange. Pieces of frag keep flying downrange after they explode. One firer hit the barrel of a tank at 800m. Had to cease fire for deer on the range. Getting in to night time, the grenades make nice flashes that light up downrange. Someone either stole a casing or we lost it in the dunnage but SGM came out and yelled at everyone over accountability of brass. Rumor starts that we'll have to stay at the range overnight. Hook thermal sights to the grenade launchers, lingering smoke downrange and amazing echoes. Tracers from another range fly past the moon. Finish up the range and get back to sleep at midnight.
Day 8; My wifes unit leaves.
Took a skin staple in my arm, practices sutures on a banana, drained that guys knee again and gave someone an IV.
Day 9; Mk 19 range again. Snowing when we roll up. Tossed around dud fired grenades. Rode in the back of a M113 with the worlds shittiest driver. The chock block I was sitting on pretty much went up my ass. (The driver was the guy whose knee we drained all the time.) The night portion of the range was cancelled, back home at 0100.
Day 10; Unnecessary medical procedures. Sliced a guy open with a scalpel and stapled him back together. Gave my CO an injection. Cool?
Day 11; One of our medics gets promoted to CPL. I go through the AT4 range. Can't see shit with the gas mask and night vision, shooting in the dark.
We finished the day portion of the range early so I went back to the aid station for most of the day. I put an NPA in myself and gave my LT an IV. Tried to give myself an IV but I just bled all over.
Day 12; Tried to give a girl an IV but she had no veins. More slicing and suturing for no good reason. As we were cleaning the blood off one guy's back someone drew a big sharpie penis.
Day 13; Got woken up an hour early because of poor planning on the other company's fault. Packed up my ruck sack and went out to the M249 range for a long stay. Gave out a dozen pairs of hearing protection. Range control rolled by and checked my shit. I got to fire the SAW at night with night vision. Killed my target. Slept on a stretcher in the back of the MedEvac truck. Cold as hell and couldn't sleep because radio guard was in the same truck. Drank a gallon of water throughout the day.
Day 14; Up at 7, frozen. Shave half my face off. Get checked by range control again. Fucking bored. Gave the LT running the range some cough syrup. He got fucked up on it, lol. Some 1 star general came through but didn't do shit. I never even saw him. Demo shots on another range shoot my truck. Tons of tracers all around that night. Fell asleep to the sound of a distant .50 cal tearin' shit up.
Day 15; Not so cold this morning. Gave out a bandaid. Really. Got told by some E5 "Nein." to giving an IV for no reason.
Saw a fox trying to find food in the dumpster. Ran 800m down a hot range in full battle rattle to put out a fire. Didn't look that big or so far away. It was. The last shooter of the day fired a tracer in to the berm along the side of the range and it lit right up. Swatted and extinguished the fire. Range still hot.
Drive back to the camp, hop out the HMMWV and roll my ankle so bad I threw off my helmet and body armor, puked and almost passed out from the pain.
Dragged all my shit back from the motor pool. Got to sleep at 2330.
Day 16; Ankle all fucked up.Tried to aspirate a cyst on a guy's face, didn't get shit.
Day 17; Qualified on the M203 grenade launcher. Easy. Read The Boneman's Daughter
in one sitting. Watched an army girl get hit on relentlessly. Line company idiots. Almost ran over deer on the way back.
idn't plan to go to a range this day but volunteered for M500 shotgun at the last minute. Rode in the convoy as gunner, that was cold as fuck with all the wind in my face. Waited forever for the range to go hot because we couldn't communicate with range control or anyone without a functional radio. Got told I didn't qualify by 1 target before they changed the standard.
Kicked off the range because there's not enough ammo for everyone. Gay. Someone fell getting out of their truck and yelled "Medic!" for a twisted ankle. Slept in the truck for about an hour, full battle. Kinda comfortable if you find the right position. Played with an electric muscle stimulator when we got back to the camp. Gnarled my face up awesome. Got woken up to give a guy some maalox. People suck.
Day 19; Not a damn thing. Army guys are annoying to be around. Notice the bruise at the base of my thumb from where I pinched it between a recoiling shotgun and my body armor. Oops. Guy came in with an infected finger that he had smashed in a .50 cal machine gun. Two of our soldiers who're fuckin' eachother being disgusting in the barracks. Bitches aren't allowed where the guys sleep.
Woken up at 2300 for a bandaid. Scrubbed that guys cut with gauze. Fucker.
Day 20; Morning PT canceled because it's snowing. Didn't sleep for shit. Breakfast and lunch were awful, DFAC makes up for it by having Chinese for dinner.
Day 21; Everyone at the buddy team live fire range needs hearing protection, tylenol, something.
I'd been hoping someone would get shot. Well, I guess I caused this. One of my soldiers tore his ACL and meniscus running on the range. I went exploring through all the tunnels and shit. Get a break and come home to see my wife for 4 days.