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  #1  
Old 02-24-2009, 11:48 PM
personspersona personspersona is offline
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Default Best ways to kill yourself

I remember I saw this thread some months ago in totse when I was lurking there, I thought it would be good to make it again here.

Imagine you want to end your life, but you want to do it with style. If i died I wouldn't want my family to say ''he died because he was some depressed pussy emo cunt'', hell no, I would like them to say ''he died because he was some crazy fucker''

So here we post ideas for a kickass suicide, I have some examples here:

1) Get a fuckload of guns and cocaine, go to a shopping mall and snort all the cocaine you can, then start a massive killing spree, which will end with the cops killing you.

2) Spend all what you have in sex, drugs and rock n' roll, and have unprotected sex, mix all the drugs with the alcohol, you should drown on your vomit.

3) Motorcycle stunt jumping, need to say more?

Your turn, try to be creative.
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  #2  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

I wouldn't go on a killing spree because then everyone's gonna hate you. What I would do is rob places - big targets that would get me a good haul. Then fun around with the funny and when I eventualy fail at a robbery or if they eventual figure out it was me and they come to take me down, shoot myself (not before I burn all the money).
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  #3  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:13 AM
Yodabutter Yodabutter is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

I would snipe a bunch of niggers from a tall building. Then wait until they found me and jump off the building. But I would bring a hang glider and glide to the top of another building at a smaller height and shoot some more niggers from there. Keep repeating until I run out of buildings to glide to or a helicopter shoots me. This is all hypothetical of course.
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  #4  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:14 AM
AlCapon3 AlCapon3 is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

1. go to an pretty high platform
2. make a noose out of chicken wire
3. wrap it around neck. tie other end to pole
4. super glue hands to ears
5. jump off
6. people come and think you pulled your head off you body
7. laugh your way to hell
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  #5  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:28 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

1. Place your neck on railroad tracks.
2. Masturbate.
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  #6  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:29 AM
Yodabutter Yodabutter is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knikola View Post
1. Place your neck on railroad tracks.
2. Masturbate.
lol
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  #7  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:30 AM
personspersona personspersona is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knikola View Post
1. Place your neck on railroad tracks.
2. Masturbate.
lol, that's a good one.
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  #8  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:41 AM
Uriah Heep Uriah Heep is offline
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Thumbs Up Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Turn an armadillo into a cool hat. then, get a big wooden spoon, and go fight as many bears as you can.

Now thats bad ass.



PS. you may want some drugs to summon the courage to actually go face to face with bears.

PSS. Video tape it.

Last edited by Uriah Heep; 02-25-2009 at 12:44 AM.
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  #9  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:48 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

I could probably think of about 2,000 ways to kill yourself and publish it.
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  #10  
Old 02-25-2009, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

it has to be the way the black guy did it in Death Vally The Revenge Of Bloody Bill.
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  #11  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:33 AM
enkrypt0r enkrypt0r is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knikola View Post
I could probably think of about 2,000 ways to kill yourself and publish it.
You would make a killing...... PUN!
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  #12  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:41 AM
OneSadisticFucker OneSadisticFucker is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yodabutter View Post
I would snipe a bunch of niggers from a tall building. Then wait until they found me and jump off the building. But I would bring a hang glider and glide to the top of another building at a smaller height and shoot some more niggers from there. Keep repeating until I run out of buildings to glide to or a helicopter shoots me. This is all hypothetical of course.
This ^

I'll have to remember it if I ever want to die.
No one can beat it.
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  #13  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by enkrypt0r View Post
You would make a killing...... PUN!
ZING!
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  #14  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:53 AM
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Cool Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Get my pilots license rent out a small single engine aircraft fly below radar and have the plane rigged with enough explosives to tear apart and release pamphlets saying "Fuck Obama" Go into a steep climb, jump out and try to hit the presidential office.

*Boom*

Name instantly goes in the history books.


Al
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  #15  
Old 02-25-2009, 02:57 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

1. get realistic toy gun
2. go in police station point at cops
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  #16  
Old 02-25-2009, 03:11 AM
Jo Nathen Jo Nathen is offline
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Exclamation Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Learned from health class in high school.......

Cut vertically up your arm and hit some veins.

Then, stick your bloody arm in the toilet.

Keep flushing.

(I dont thinking you'll be posting results after you have tried)
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Last edited by Jo Nathen; 02-25-2009 at 04:00 AM.
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  #17  
Old 02-25-2009, 03:18 AM
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Thumbs Up Re: Best ways to kill yourself

First, hijack a private plane. If you don't die there, go to a bank and hold it up. Get everything in the safe and all teller stations. If you dont die after picking up that 250,000, go across town to the next bank and rob that exactly the same as #1. If you don't die there, go to a gun store and load up on rifles and handguns. Go take off in your plane for the caribbean while shooting out of the planes window attempting to kill everyone.

If you didn't die, then enjoy your new life with all of your money.
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  #18  
Old 02-25-2009, 03:26 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yodabutter View Post
I would snipe a bunch of niggers from a tall building. Then wait until they found me and jump off the building. But I would bring a hang glider and glide to the top of another building at a smaller height and shoot some more niggers from there. Keep repeating until I run out of buildings to glide to or a helicopter shoots me. This is all hypothetical of course.
I would do this too.
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  #19  
Old 02-25-2009, 03:44 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Killdozer.
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  #20  
Old 02-25-2009, 03:58 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Ok, you're going to need a gun.

1. Use your gun to obtain a high end car like a Ferrari or a Lamborghini or something.

2. Drive to a bank and rob it.

3. Eat all of the money you just got by robbing the bank.

4. Pick up an underage, overweight hooker.

5. If they aren't doing it already, go find a cop and get him to chase you.

6. Continue the chase until there a a bunch of cop cars behind you and you are certain that people are watching you on live TV.

7. Drive the car (hooker and all) over a cliff.


You will die in a Ferrari with a fat child hooker in the seat next to you and you will have a stomach full of money.

Pure win right there.
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  #21  
Old 02-25-2009, 04:08 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Highway "accident".
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  #22  
Old 02-25-2009, 09:48 AM
dog with shifty eyes dog with shifty eyes is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Alright for this method, youll need alot of spoons and 2 bottles of jenkem (piss and shit in a bottle until it gets full, then let it ferment for a good 3-4 months, the more time you let it ferment the better it is).

What I would do is make a Warlock costume (a good one dough, put in some good work since you wanna die like a motherfucking badass) with the staff and everything, then go into a crowded place like Times Square and pretend to throw some spells at people with a really serious face, like you have to really scream it out loud. After each spell you just throw a spoon with all your strengh on the person you wanted to throw the spell on.

Then comes the good part: when the cops start chasing you (obviously they wont shoot you), just run around (since theres alot of people I doubt youll get caught within 10 minutes) until you find the fucking hugest badass truck there is (the cooler it looks the more internets you win) and highjack it GTA style. Since theres too much traffic, just drive at full speed on the sidewalk but dont try to avoid anything (especially niggers).

If you're not dead yet, start your quest to the White House, but throw spoons at every car you encounter (you still have spoons left right?). So basically you're leaving a trail of spoons (you ain't scared of those faggot cops are you) while going to the White House.

If you manage to reach the White House, ram your truck inside the gates and into the building, then look for the president and try to kill him with a spoon.

If you're fucked anywhere on your way to the White House (you're out of gas and you're in a really remote place where only one car passes every 10 hours) just drink the 2 bottles on jenkem and youll die.

So basically, people will remember you as a crazy badass motherfucker that started by throwing spoons and casting spells on people, but then tried to assassinate the president.

All this dressed as a Warlock.
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  #23  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:13 AM
cumstain cumstain is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

lol but would you really drink ur own shit and piss to die? Id just rather do all that and then plug a veing full of colombias purest straight in and go to coke heaven for like 30 seconds untill I die in a epeleptic cocaine induced fit.
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  #24  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:58 AM
dog with shifty eyes dog with shifty eyes is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by cumstain View Post
lol but would you really drink ur own shit and piss to die? Id just rather do all that and then plug a veing full of colombias purest straight in and go to coke heaven for like 30 seconds untill I die in a epeleptic cocaine induced fit.
Fuck you id drink it
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  #25  
Old 02-25-2009, 11:06 AM
EmptySet EmptySet is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

This guy got it right!

"The Ultimate Suicide"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCXmYMPEAlc
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  #26  
Old 02-25-2009, 04:57 PM
Steal_Everything Steal_Everything is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Crash a plane into the World Trade Center.
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  #27  
Old 02-25-2009, 05:06 PM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Get some cheese wire and go to the top of a tall building, tie one end around some thing and tie the other end around your neck. You should now super glue your hands to your head and let the glue set; once the glue has set jump from the building.

This will make a cool looking death because it'll look like you ripped your head off with your own 2 hands.

EDIT: Fuck go beaten to it.

Still, do it faggot...
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  #28  
Old 02-25-2009, 11:53 PM
macnolias macnolias is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Go and fuck yourself to death!
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  #29  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:01 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

go to the shittiest part of nyc or dc and just start yelling a bunch of racial shit
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  #30  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:05 AM
Kombineanarchy Kombineanarchy is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knikola View Post
1. Place your neck on railroad tracks.
2. Masturbate.
1.) In Gaming Voice "Godlike"
2.) I would take over a concord and fly it into a tall building in bangkok... and the concord would be filled with love dolls!
Hypothetically Of course
3.) Fill Concord With Bound leaflets of "TO SHAKE OFF MORTAL COILS"

Last edited by Kombineanarchy; 02-26-2009 at 12:16 AM. Reason: `1morthing
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  #31  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:09 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse....=manly_suicide
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  #32  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:19 AM
Kombineanarchy Kombineanarchy is offline
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Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stendhal Syndrome View Post
Just The classics... Sigh
NJ though!
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  #33  
Old 02-26-2009, 12:22 AM
Kombineanarchy Kombineanarchy is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by I pee in your cornflakes View Post
1. get realistic toy gun
2. go in police station point at cops
While "Shouting DONT BE A HERO PUNK!"
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  #34  
Old 02-26-2009, 10:43 PM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Posting in Epic thread
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Mark Zuckerburg is a faggot.

http://zoklet.net/bbs/showpost.php?p=2252485&postcount=34 - Where My Avatar Came From
http://bbs.zoklet.net/bbs/showpost.php?p=4601933&postcount=142 - Myers Being A Faggot
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  #35  
Old 02-26-2009, 10:51 PM
Mogli Mogli is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

MURDER/SUICIDE!
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  #36  
Old 02-26-2009, 11:05 PM
Fool's Gold Mouthpiece Fool's Gold Mouthpiece is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

I'd catch a bus with a bunch of primary school kids on board heading over to school that day. Then I'd stand up, call for attention, pull a shotgun out of my coat and blow my brains all over some kid's lunch.

Permanent mental scarring, anybody?
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  #37  
Old 02-26-2009, 11:05 PM
eS 1 eS 1 is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

1) Somehow get AIDS.
2) Get into a helicopter over a large city.
3) Jump into the blades of the helicopter and make it rain AIDS infected blood.
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  #38  
Old 02-27-2009, 12:12 AM
dog with shifty eyes dog with shifty eyes is offline
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

You can also swallow pickles until you die.
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  #39  
Old 02-27-2009, 04:09 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fool's Gold Mouthpiece View Post
I'd catch a bus with a bunch of primary school kids on board heading over to school that day. Then I'd stand up, call for attention, pull a shotgun out of my coat and blow my brains all over some kid's lunch.

Permanent mental scarring, anybody?
Naw.... do the ten ways video posted except do it ontop of a priamry school at recess. Sub cliff for top of school
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http://zoklet.net/bbs/showpost.php?p=2252485&postcount=34 - Where My Avatar Came From
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Old 02-27-2009, 04:18 AM
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Default Re: Best ways to kill yourself

Live via streaming video so we can watch it.
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