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  #1  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:03 AM
refugee refugee is offline
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Question The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

So I've finally accepted the saying, because I've finally realized the one woman I have ever been in Love with. I was with a girl I will call Caty, and we were perfect for each other. We had the same opinions, ideals, sex cravings, and the same exact feelings for each other. We had no awkward silence between us and could talk for hours. We had the same outlook on the world and which drugs should be used, etc etc...

Too good to be true right?

Wrong. We were about 3 months into our "relationship"(it was never "established" but we had agreed we would only sleep with each other, went on dates etc) when we had a broken condom scare. I offered to drive to the clinic and buy a D.A.P but she refused saying that she would have felt it and how she knows her body. She was wrong.

I got a call about a month later where I picked up and she started crying immediately. Long story short, I flipped out on her and demanded an abortion, which she went through without me (i paid for the abortion) because I was working. I was an overall ass to her and though she wanted to keep things going, I couldn't handle the thought of sex after that.

We stopped talking for a long time and things were sour for a long while. For the last 3-4 months I have been unable to think about anyone else but her. Even in the middle of another relationship, all I could do was compare her to Caty. I had been feeling so bad as to the way I treated this one girl and I can honestly say for the first time, I miss a girl. Even my roommate was laughing because hed never heard me say that.

Recently I emailed her apologizing for the way I acted and handled the situation, to which she responded explaining how she didn't blame me and how she holds no grudges. We've been talking ever since and it's been going great. I think I've found a girl that I am INSANELY in love with without knowing while I was actually with her.

She is coming out for her birthday to visit me and a friend (her best friend and my roommate) on april 19th. How should I approach this? My friend gave me some great advice but I need all the help I can get. Im in love, is what I am told, and I guess that's what I feel too. It's just so strange to me. I never have feelings, and now there's a rush of them. I'm a bad dude, I do bad things and don't care about anything. I mean fuck I walk around with a gun, why am I even feeling like this?

Basically, How can I make this girl understand how I'm feeling while getting her to feel the same?
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  #2  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:20 AM
Nero Nero is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Tell her everything you just told us?
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  #3  
Old 02-25-2009, 10:27 AM
Rykoshet Rykoshet is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Is your roommate a boy? If so, he's fucking her.

Otherwise just tell her how you feel, you big fucking baby.
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Old 02-25-2009, 01:00 PM
KingFisher9 KingFisher9 is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

I think you should just link her to this thread haha

But I know what you mean. I feel the same way about my last relationship. It was only 4 month long and it ended 2.5 month ago and still everyday and all day this girl is constantly on my mind. I'm just hoping with time it will go away, but in your situation you need to tell her because obviously you don't want it to go away.
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Old 02-25-2009, 03:35 PM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Quote:
Originally Posted by refugee View Post
but she refused saying that she would have felt it and how she knows her body. She was wrong.

I got a call about a month later where I picked up and she started crying immediately.
I almost gagged at this point. This is another breaking of the SEX=BABIES rule from the other thread. Oh, and fuck women's intuition and feelings. I don't wanna shoot you down, I know how love feels, but think it over.

Me and my GF had the exact same situation. And she too was all like "oh, I don't feel anything, it's nothing" but I convinced her to take the fucking pill because game theory says that taking the pill only costs us money and NOTHNG else, while not taking the pill is taking a huge gamble at forking over moeny for the next 18 years to some fucking brat.
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Old 02-25-2009, 03:40 PM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by Rykoshet View Post
Is your roommate a boy? If so, he's fucking her.

Otherwise just tell her how you feel, you big fucking baby.
God, I fucking hate you, you miserable piece of shit. Way to give some input. You will die alone and sad because no one will ever truly love you.

Anyway, I would just see how things play out, it seems like you have a decent chance. And...you're a "bad dude"? What?
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  #7  
Old 02-25-2009, 04:26 PM
The English Gentleman The English Gentleman is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Go in for the kill, possibly with romantic flowers...
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  #8  
Old 02-25-2009, 08:59 PM
refugee refugee is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by 000 View Post
Anyway, I would just see how things play out, it seems like you have a decent chance. And...you're a "bad dude"? What?
Im hoping so man I really am. But after how I treated her I dont know how willing she will be to jump back into it with me.

ah the only reason I mention that is because I break the law severely on a day to day basis. I sell drugs, rob places, pull scams, and a lot of other things Id rather not disclose here. She is a very law abiding person besides her drug use, making me think she wouldn't be too excited about being in love with/dating a criminal.

I don't know, I just feel a person with a past/present like mine does not deserve someone as amazing as her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidIce View Post
I almost gagged at this point. This is another breaking of the SEX=BABIES rule from the other thread. Oh, and fuck women's intuition and feelings. I don't wanna shoot you down, I know how love feels, but think it over.

Me and my GF had the exact same situation. And she too was all like "oh, I don't feel anything, it's nothing" but I convinced her to take the fucking pill because game theory says that taking the pill only costs us money and NOTHNG else, while not taking the pill is taking a huge gamble at forking over moeny for the next 18 years to some fucking brat.
yeah she apologized for that specific mistake, but I should have forced her to take it, like you said, it was a gamble. So basically I have thought it over and because she honestly apologized for not listening to me and not doing the right thing. I know i can trust her if the situation were to arise again.

Last edited by refugee; 02-25-2009 at 09:02 PM.
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  #9  
Old 02-25-2009, 09:07 PM
Genesis93 Genesis93 is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

lol i doubt u have a gun dude
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  #10  
Old 02-26-2009, 01:07 AM
Surprise Buttsecks Surprise Buttsecks is offline
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Thumbs Down Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by refugee View Post
I'm a bad dude, I do bad things and don't care about anything. I mean fuck I walk around with a gun, why am I even feeling like this?
OH SNAP, NOT A GUN?

Seriously, what the fuck? If you actually think like this, please kill yourself.
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  #11  
Old 02-26-2009, 02:52 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by Surprise Buttsecks View Post
If you actually think like this, please kill yourself.
Or make a profitable romantic movie
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  #12  
Old 02-27-2009, 12:00 AM
refugee refugee is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by Surprise Buttsecks View Post
OH SNAP, NOT A GUN?

Seriously, what the fuck? If you actually think like this, please kill yourself.
fool, it's different when you're not living in a suburb with mommy and daddy. So before you judge how I live, maybe take a trip out here and see why I live the way I do. Sound good?

Quote:
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lol i doubt u have a gun dude
don't matter what you think guy.

Last edited by refugee; 02-27-2009 at 12:03 AM.
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  #13  
Old 02-27-2009, 03:43 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

As long as your trapped within maya or material existance you will never enjoy life because you will lack the quality of grattitude.

True grattitude that is; which is grattitude without condition; material consciousness lacks this quality.
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  #14  
Old 02-27-2009, 09:32 PM
refugee refugee is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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As long as your trapped within maya or material existance you will never enjoy life because you will lack the quality of gratitude.

True gratitude that is; which is gratitude without condition; material consciousness lacks this quality.
so i cant pay rent and be happy? Do I come off as materialistic in my post? because to be honest with you man, the only reason i do what i do is to eat and have a roof over my head. My list of posessions is pretty damn small

TV
Bed
Snowboard
skateboard
dresser/clothes

Am I still livin "maya"?
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:38 PM
Surprise Buttsecks Surprise Buttsecks is offline
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Thumbs Up Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by refugee View Post
fool, it's different when you're not living in a suburb with mommy and daddy. So before you judge how I live, maybe take a trip out here and see why I live the way I do. Sound good?
This is the internet, no one can confirm how much of a tough guy you are.
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  #16  
Old 02-27-2009, 11:31 PM
Roll Fizzlebeef Roll Fizzlebeef is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by refugee View Post
I'm a bad dude, I do bad things and don't care about anything. I mean fuck I walk around with a gun.
Refugee is a pretty cool guy, eh carries a gun and doesn't afraid of anything.

Honestly please don't ever say anything like this ever again.

"Badasses" don't need to tell other people how badass they are.
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  #17  
Old 02-28-2009, 02:35 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

If you want a normal life, ditch the drugs. It's too hard to balance both.
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Old 02-28-2009, 02:48 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by refugee View Post
so i cant pay rent and be happy? Do I come off as materialistic in my post? because to be honest with you man, the only reason i do what i do is to eat and have a roof over my head. My list of posessions is pretty damn small

TV
Bed
Snowboard
skateboard
dresser/clothes

Am I still livin "maya"?
Of course; i am living in maya; im just aware of it whilst most people arent.

I wasnt speaking of "happy" i was talking about grattitude; wasnt that what the OP is about?

Im absolutly sure you take those possesions for granted sometimes; and when you go without them your grattitude for them grows through the awareness.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-2009, 08:28 PM
refugee refugee is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by Captain_nonsense View Post
If you want a normal life, ditch the drugs. It's too hard to balance both.
cant do it. too much money in it for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roll Fizzlebeef View Post
Refugee is a pretty cool guy, eh carries a gun and doesn't afraid of anything.

Honestly please don't ever say anything like this ever again.

"Badasses" don't need to tell other people how badass they are.
bitch, am i bragging about it? no. you fucking idiot. I was merely stating to show the major difference between how she lives her life, and how i live mine.
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  #20  
Old 02-28-2009, 09:11 PM
Surprise Buttsecks Surprise Buttsecks is offline
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Confused Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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bitch, am i bragging about it? no. you fucking idiot. I was merely stating to show the major difference between how she lives her life, and how i live mine.
Are you getoffmylawn?
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  #21  
Old 03-01-2009, 01:54 AM
Tinted Glass Tinted Glass is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Fully embrace your second chance.

Most females wouldn't give you one.

I sure as hell wouldn't.

As gay as it sounds... just have a long ass heartfelt talk.
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  #22  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:20 AM
refugee refugee is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Are you getoffmylawn?
im no indian.
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:18 PM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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im no indian.
holy shit i gotta link him this post
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:02 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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holy shit i gotta link him this post
do it. should be as much fun as back on totse.
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Old 03-02-2009, 06:32 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Get her pregnant then demand another abortion.
That'll show her.
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  #26  
Old 03-03-2009, 01:01 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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but she refused saying that she would have felt it and how she knows her body. She was wrong.
tl;dr but that's fucking stupid LMAO
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  #27  
Old 07-06-2009, 11:12 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

major long overdue update!

just got down to california three days ago, and I was already able to fuck her last night. She is on BC and I used a condom, no leaks. Beautifully done!
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  #28  
Old 07-06-2009, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

You know... if you really knew you are a "bad man", you wouldn't even try to hold on to her. This is the conundrum that all "bad men" must face. Because of the lifestyle they live, they detach themselves from anyone they could possibly care about. Having someone around you care about not only puts the loved ones' lives in jeopardy, but it also puts their "work" in jeopardy also. Its a circular life of isolation, which causes bitterness, which causes them to be even worse than they started off. This is why real "bad men" can do bad things without a second thought. At some point they hit that mentality where they really don't care about anything anymore.
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Old 07-06-2009, 06:47 PM
JustAnotherAsshole JustAnotherAsshole is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by Captain_nonsense View Post
If you want a normal life, ditch the drugs. It's too hard to balance both.
That.

Criminal careers are not compatible with a normal life (For very long, anyway). It may work for a little while, but if you want to survive as a criminal, you have to live like a criminal. There's not always room or time for things like normal relationships and the like.
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  #30  
Old 07-07-2009, 10:05 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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That.

Criminal careers are not compatible with a normal life (For very long, anyway). It may work for a little while, but if you want to survive as a criminal, you have to live like a criminal. There's not always room or time for things like normal relationships and the like.
fuck. i know this man, I was just updating that I slept with the broad. I've come to terms with the fact I'm not meant to be normal, thing is, I'd like to be, but I'm too used to being a criminal. I'm to used to taking whatever I want without a moments thought. From money to women (well women it's become more easy than anything) I've always taken with no thought of consequence. I'd like to get a close circle of criminals together as friends rather than keep the semi current ones I have.
I'm not cut out for the life of most others, so keep your heads low, cause I don't really care about this life.
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  #31  
Old 07-07-2009, 06:00 PM
postdiluvium postdiluvium is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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fuck. i know this man, I was just updating that I slept with the broad. I've come to terms with the fact I'm not meant to be normal, thing is, I'd like to be, but I'm too used to being a criminal. I'm to used to taking whatever I want without a moments thought. From money to women (well women it's become more easy than anything) I've always taken with no thought of consequence. I'd like to get a close circle of criminals together as friends rather than keep the semi current ones I have.
I'm not cut out for the life of most others, so keep your heads low, cause I don't really care about this life.
Where exactly are you from? Its just so weird for someone to admit they do bad things. Especially on an Internet forum. People don't even admit they do bad things in jail. Even in jail everyone knows others are there for a reason, but its like some kind of unwritten law that you shouldn't ask a person why they are there. This is where I was born and grew up:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2137913/posts

I actually currently live one town away from it now. You don't strike me as anyone I grew up around and/or with. Like really... "a close circle of criminals"? Like are you guys going to be the Anti Justice League or something?
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Old 07-07-2009, 07:16 PM
HTS HTS is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Tell her everything you just told us?
Honestly I'd go with this, but it seems creepy after 4 months without talking.
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Old 07-07-2009, 07:38 PM
vnorberto vnorberto is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

only stupid people say " you dont know what you have until its gone"

smarten up and you wont find yourself in any situations like this in the future?
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:15 PM
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Where exactly are you from? Its just so weird for someone to admit they do bad things. Especially on an Internet forum. People don't even admit they do bad things in jail. Even in jail everyone knows others are there for a reason, but its like some kind of unwritten law that you shouldn't ask a person why they are there. This is where I was born and grew up:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2137913/posts

I actually currently live one town away from it now. You don't strike me as anyone I grew up around and/or with. Like really... "a close circle of criminals"? Like are you guys going to be the Anti Justice League or something?
now I'm not going to give away who I am, or where exactly where I am from but it ranged growing up from 619, 760, and 909 areas. The reason I can "admit" that I am a criminal is because I don't have shit to worry about online. I keep my business on the low end, because I may admit I've done things, but i'm never about to open my mouth and retrace the steps so if i DO get caught up, I can't get charged with even more. I should be in jail, and if I were I'd keep my fucking mouth shut, but out here in real life, I know what I can and can't say.

and as for oakland, I didn't grow up in north, I grew up in southern cali, right off the border in chula then hopped around until this day. I actually got out of cali to avoid prosecution, and thankfully, charges got dropped or I would not be here still.

nah a close circle of criminals would be called a "gang" or something of the sorts in my book. Not like the blood and crip bullshit, but just some fools who know how to obtain money in the easiest way possible. condescending fuck
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:18 PM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Honestly I'd go with this, but it seems creepy after 4 months without talking.
we were talking the whole time, we just happened to be 1200 miles away from each other.

and I already slept with her, so this thread is useless now
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  #36  
Old 07-07-2009, 11:18 PM
postdiluvium postdiluvium is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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condescending fuck
Hahaha... awesome. Sureno?
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:41 AM
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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Originally Posted by refugee View Post
and I already slept with her, so this thread is useless now
and here i was thinking this thread was about you being in LOVE
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:15 AM
Syphilis Syphilis is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

I read the first post, nothing else.

It's not "love". Get over it.

Women do not say what they really mean.

She probably got emotionally messed up over the abortion.

The problems in your relationship are like cancer. Easy to fix when small, but when you let them get big, it's kinder to just get pumped full of morphine and get put out of your misery.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:16 AM
RayLewisIsMyHero RayLewisIsMyHero is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

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I read the first post, nothing else.

It's not "love". Get over it.

Women do not say what they really mean.

She probably got emotionally messed up over the abortion.

The problems in your relationship are like cancer. Easy to fix when small, but when you let them get big, it's kinder to just get pumped full of morphine and get put out of your misery.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:19 AM
Syphilis Syphilis is offline
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Default Re: The saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"

Oh, wait, this thread is old.

Meh.

My advice still stands.

Don't let her hold anything in the past over your head.
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