You can get books off Amazon for 1p

[The Risen Ghost of Hitler]

Buy then they all have 2.75 delivery charge. It's a bloody con!

[ShutMeUp]

Amazon sell groceries now

I'm gonna buy a gallon of Kool-aid just bc i've never had it before

[The Risen Ghost of Hitler]

Why buy a gallon if you've never tried it before, it might be disgusting.

[ShutMeUp]

I have friends who like it, they'll drink it if I dont

[Full Frontal]

I'm going to order 2lbs of American cheese off Amazon.

[constantinople]

kool-aide is amazing.

get:
lemonade
pink lemonade
blastin black cherry

none of the invisible ones-those all suck. and lemon lime is pretty bad too. be wary of it.

orange is all right. rasberry is dope.

grape is epic beyond all imagining

[elf omg]

I have to add more water to my kool-aid

[Full Frontal]

Why aren't you Ashley anymore?

[elf omg]

I'm still Ashley.

[Full Frontal]

[beergoggles]

Originally Posted by Ocular Gyric Crisis

I'm going to order 2lbs of American cheese off Amazon.

I'm American and I'll tell you straight up that shit is gross.

[Full Frontal]

What kind of cheese do you like?

[beergoggles]

Originally Posted by Ocular Gyric Crisis

What kind of cheese do you like?

Provolone, mozzarella, parmesan, cheddar, pepper jack.

[ShutMeUp]

i hate the individually-wrapped sliced plasticy American cheese. that sucks

[Midnight Sun]

Originally Posted by ShutMeUp

i hate the individually-wrapped sliced plasticy American cheese. that sucks

american cheese basically describes most americans

plasticy, fake, and bleached.

i am like fine gorgonzolamoldy but tasty

[elf omg]

Originally Posted by ShutMeUp

i hate the individually-wrapped sliced plasticy American cheese. that sucks

that's cheese food product

[ShutMeUp]

it's an insult real cheese

[Full Frontal]

Originally Posted by beergoggles

Provolone, mozzarella, parmesan, cheddar, pepper jack.

Ah well there's why. You prefer sharper cheeses (or the milder extreme with mozzarella.)

[Shrike]

Hmm, they're only selling dry foods though on Amazon UK. I want this stuff!

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-M...=cm_cr_pr_pb_t

I'm not usually one to give in to the hype. But everyone keeps talking about this "tuscan milk" and how it's the new macarena. It's texas holdem, low carbs, and reality TV all rolled into one. But this is one fad that is sure to last.

I bought my first gallon, and not being one for moderation, I ended up drinking the whole gallon one morning. I was just going to drink a glass before work, then be on my way. One glass turned into two. Two turned into a bigger glass. Next thing I know I was sprawled out on my living room floor next to the empty gallon.

I stumbled up and made my way out the door, only to arrive at work and meet an angry boss. He said he was letting me go, and I was "no longer a part of the vision". I was angry. And very much dissapointed. I loaded my things into my car and drove away.

On the way home, my car started sputtering. All the lights came on, and my engine fell out while going down the freeway. I pulled to the side of the road, and started walking. I certainly wasn't going to call a tow truck, I can't afford it now.

I then got the bright idea to call my girlfriend. Upon answering, I could hear a man's voice in the background. She was out of breath, and certainly had just come back from a long jog. I asked if she would come and pick me up, and she said she was "indisposed at the moment". I then became more angry, and asked her why not. She promptly dumped me.

With my belly still full of Tuscan Milk, I plodded on towards my home. I started pondering why she was leaving me, and entertained the thought that it must have something to do with that man in the background. Who was he? Why was he there? Then it dawned on me. The truth, as I had then thought, had arrived.

It's that damn tuscan milk! I foolishly blamed the milk for my problems. I lost my job, my car broke, and my girlfriend left me. All in one morning! I thought the milk was the cause.

Hours later, I arrived at my home. "Nice" I thought, as I spotted the 30 day notice. The thought of now getting kicked out my house kind of made me smile. At this point, nothing could get worse, right? It's not like a gang of ninjas is going to come in and kill my family or something.

If you didn't catch the sarcasm in that last paragraph, a gang of ninjas did indeed come in and kill my family. Got em all. But still, I dont blame the milk now.

You might ask, "why Jeremy? why are you so jovial?". The answer to that, my friends, is because I'm days away from becoming a millionaire. This whole situation will be erased. With my millions, everything will change.

Fired from my job? Now I don't need one.
Car broke down? I'll buy a lexus instead.
Kicked out my house? To heck with renting, I'll buy a new one.
Family dead? I'll buy a new one.
Girlfriend left? You get the picture.

All my problems are solved!

A few days ago I recieved an email from the prince of Nigeria. I appears their government is collapsing. And they need to move 100 million dollars out of there, STAT. So they researched, searching the world for a top secret, financial mercernary to give the money to, and found me. They must have heard about my skills. So they contacted me. I get, as a commission, ten percent of the take. If you think about it, that's a pretty good deal for someone who is saving your country.

I've given them the neccessary banking information to the proper agents, and everything should be transferring soon. I will hang out in the park, where I now live, and wait for that phone call. Once I recieve the phone call, the money went through, and you are looking at a ten millionaire. I think I'll go purchase some new duds, and maybe head down to vegas and bet ten thousand a hand. I'll fly to miami and dig my toes in the sand, or jet off to Hawaii for some fun in the sun.

I'm here at the library surfing amazon, and wanted to order some milk. For some reason my ATM wouldn't go through, kept saying insufficient funds, even though there is money in there. Must be some mistake. I'm off to the bank to ask them what's up, but first I thought I'd tell you all about the milk that saved my life.

[Full Frontal]

Originally Posted by Shrike

Hmm, they're only selling dry foods though on Amazon UK. I want this stuff!

http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-M...=cm_cr_pr_pb_t

[Shrike]

[Full Frontal]

Until you edited it, I thought you actually wanted that milk.

[Shrike]

Naw bitch I get ordinary Tesco's semi-skimmed.

[Full Frontal]

I have a cow.

...


...


...


...at least I wish I did.

[xilikeeggs0]

swaptree.com

[Shrike]

My dad actually grew up on a dairy farm, my grandparents were farmers. They had farm cats and an aga and used to skim the cream off the top of the milk and drink that

[Full Frontal]

Originally Posted by Shrike

My dad actually grew up on a dairy farm, my grandparents were farmers. They had farm cats and an aga and used to skim the cream off the top of the milk and drink that

That sounds so awesome. I <3 cows. I think it's because I read The Far Side when I was a kid.

[Fza]

I want a mini cow.

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by Ocular Gyric Crisis

That sounds so awesome. I <3 cows. I think it's because I read The Far Side when I was a kid.

I dunno, I find them a bit weird up close, they're really fat and strange. But obviously they're part of the countryisde, so.

[Full Frontal]

One time me and a friend were at Apollo Bay. The property we were staying was next to one with a lot of cows on it. We wanted to go through it go on our hike and we got surrounded by cows. They formed a circle around us.

We were both shitting bricks but we slowly came to realize we could walk in any direction and they'd move back accordingly to keep the circle.

[Shrike]

My dad (I seem to talk about him a lot lol) made up a stupid rhyme thing to reassure my brother when he was like 6 and we'd walk in the country.

Cows can't be bothered
Sheep are scared of everything

There was also some other line about geese but I can't remember how it went (we would have to walk through a farmyard full of mental geese).

[elf omg]

http://www.amazon.com/Gourmet-Ultra-...owViewpoints=1

[virgil caine]

i saw a ps1 game on there for 1 cent and 3.99 shipping

[Retard Synrdome]

Bloddy 'ell guv'na!