how to mess up someone's house?

[yellowjello]

Basically, SWIM wants these people to move out (at least for a few months).
Ideas so far are:

Arson - but if an accelerant is used the cops will know it is arson and carry out an investigation and it's pretty risky. if no accelerant is used, there is no guarantee enough damage will be caused.

Flooding (leave the water on and plug the drain) - will this cause enough damage?

Somehow getting them evicted (difficult to do because their landlord is pretty lenient).

Termites - takes years for termites to cause significant damage.

Somehow getting their utilities shut off - that won't last long though.

Any ideas?

[CHughes1.618]

Put a bunch of aerosol containers (hairspray, cleaning supplies) in their microwave, a bunch of silverware, and some wood, take the back off the microwave - rip off the heat sensor automatic shutoff component, turn on microwave for popcorn. Wait. BOOM. Half of house gone.

[Rainycity]

Mold, the slow but deadly killer, cockroaches, just get a bunch and watch them multiply.

[Xlite]

Paint his walls with different kinds of shit.

[CHughes1.618]

Originally Posted by Xlite

Paint his walls with different kinds of shit.

You're a fuckin moron, still.
What kind of "shit" should he paint the walls with?

[reject]

Dog shit, cat shit, horse shit, human shit and so on.

[Xlite]

Originally Posted by CHughes1.618

You're a fuckin moron, still.
What kind of "shit" should he paint the walls with?

Congratz, you just replaced the faggot in my sig.

Anyways, are you a fucking retard plant?

Obviously there's plenty different kinds of shit.

Donkey shit, homo shit like yours, baby shit which is nasty and very smelly.
Horse shit, elephant shit, bug shit, giraffe shit, hamster shit etc.

Plenty of options, just be creative.

[Deadlock]

I swear the responses on Bad Ideas get worse daily.

You really want someone to move out, be an annoying fuck. Play loud music 'till the cops come, host drunken parties at odd hours, get a dog and let it shit on their lawn. Just everything you can think of to make yourself a pest. Ding-Dong Ditch (Nigger Knock) during the middle of the night often. Go out and gun (rev) your car occasionally at odd hours. Pop in for a "friendly visit" often.

Eventually you'll break them, and they'll start looking for a new place. Everyone knows an intolerable neighbor is hell.

[Rainycity]

Originally Posted by Deadlock

I swear the responses on Bad Ideas get worse daily.

You really want someone to move out, be an annoying fuck. Play loud music 'till the cops come, host drunken parties at odd hours, get a dog and let it shit on their lawn. Just everything you can think of to make yourself a pest. Ding-Dong Ditch (Nigger Knock) during the middle of the night often. Go out and gun (rev) your car occasionally at odd hours. Pop in for a "friendly visit" often.

Eventually you'll break them, and they'll start looking for a new place. Everyone knows an intolerable neighbor is hell.

you could do lots of things you dont need zoklet to tell you/

[reject]

I think there's only one solution:

You're guna have to shag a deaf bird. 24/7 non stop.

They'll soon be gone.

[1983]

Well old boy I hear that crumbs are a real Jim Dandy to get out of a carpet and not using a coaster can cause small rings on the surfaces of furniture.

That or you could look through the possible hundreds of posts before this one with the same goal in mind old bean, most of them started by you and find out exactly what you're looking for. Whot Whot!

Fuck I hate people more and more every day.

Al

[Captain Falcon]

I'm going to present a systematic plan for you to fuck your neighbors off their house, so here is what you do:

First, infiltrate their ranks by becoming friends with them. not really, but let them know you aren't a homicidal druggy bitch

Secondly, offer them some sort of gift that they will fucking hate later on, like a blunt ass knife.

Third, throw a thermonuclear explosive into the wife/daughter/mother's pussy and run the fuck out of there.

[CarpeNemo]

I imagine sprinkling all the carpets in the house (plus points if the carpets are installed, and not throwdowns) with itching powder/fiberglass dust (obtained from shaking insulation) would drive a lot of people insane.

I assume mail-bombing the house with various types of sex magazines would also do wonders. Or planting child porn and then tipping off the cops about it.

Of course, you could always just break in when they're gone and write a message on the wall in pigs blood or the like - "I'll be back - when you are". A dead animal in the backyard could help with that.

[ShadyLady]

Originally Posted by CarpeNemo

A dead animal in the backyard could help with that.

Or an excessively barking dog. Although, they could always do what my friend, Bozo the Clown did to his neighbor's excessively barking dog- feed the dog a nice treat that will make it..... DIE.

[adhesive tape]

Poop on their couch and cum on their toothbrush.

[Retard Synrdome]

Shit on their floor.

[Daily]

Just use a lighter to set fire to their bushes or some shit.

[Zanick]

Somehow get a carrot peeler down to the base of your scrotum. Go for a good run/swim/workout etc. until you're good and sweaty. Apply makeup as a disguise so you look like an elegant Japanese woman. Then go and press your sweaty, bloody testicles up against their window, screaming. After a few mornings of repeating this they'll most likely move out. Good luck.

[Sandy106]

If you really want to go all out, you could try sneaking in their house, blow out the pitot light on the oven (assuming its gas) and light a candle in another room.

If you want less damage than that, a few molotovs thru the window should get the point across.

[Zanick]

Have you tried asking them politely to leave? I'm sure they would at least consider moving if they knew that their neighbor disliked their company.

[SKUV]

Surprised it hasn't been said: Burning cross on their front lawn.

[reject]

Originally Posted by Daily

Just use a lighter to set fire to their bushes or some shit.

Hardcore.

[Sey]

Put a note in their mailbox inviting them to a dinner party at your place. They come to the door and you and a group of friends are dressed in full on KKK attire. They won't come back.

[Daily]

Originally Posted by Zarniwoop

Hardcore.

I know.

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by CHughes1.618

Put a bunch of aerosol containers (hairspray, cleaning supplies) in their microwave, a bunch of silverware, and some wood, take the back off the microwave - rip off the heat sensor automatic shutoff component, turn on microwave for popcorn. Wait. BOOM. Half of house gone.

What? Wouldn't we die if we turn it on?

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by Rainycity

Mold, the slow but deadly killer, cockroaches, just get a bunch and watch them multiply.

How would we get the mold in their house though?

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by Deadlock

I swear the responses on Bad Ideas get worse daily.

You really want someone to move out, be an annoying fuck. Play loud music 'till the cops come, host drunken parties at odd hours, get a dog and let it shit on their lawn. Just everything you can think of to make yourself a pest. Ding-Dong Ditch (Nigger Knock) during the middle of the night often. Go out and gun (rev) your car occasionally at odd hours. Pop in for a "friendly visit" often.

Eventually you'll break them, and they'll start looking for a new place. Everyone knows an intolerable neighbor is hell.

The problem with this is, I'm not their neighbor.

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by CarpeNemo

I imagine sprinkling all the carpets in the house (plus points if the carpets are installed, and not throwdowns) with itching powder/fiberglass dust (obtained from shaking insulation) would drive a lot of people insane.

I assume mail-bombing the house with various types of sex magazines would also do wonders. Or planting child porn and then tipping off the cops about it.

That's a good idea (the itching powder fiberglass stuff). Would that really cause a problem for them, or would it be barely noticeable? Also, couldn't they easily clean it?

And what would happen if I planted child porn and told the cops? What would the cops do..

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by Day "fuck weeks" Lee

Just use a lighter to set fire to their bushes or some shit.

They don't have bushes, plus that wouldn't really make them leave because their house would still be livable.

[yellowjello]

Originally Posted by Sandy106

If you really want to go all out, you could try sneaking in their house, blow out the pitot light on the oven (assuming its gas) and light a candle in another room.

If you want less damage than that, a few molotovs thru the window should get the point across.

What would this do?? Why light a candle in another room? I don't understand what the oven has to do with the candle.

[Captain Falcon]

^Explosion, dumbass, like in Shooter, you leave on the gas so the candle makes an explosion when the gas reaches it.

But the best way is probably to sabotage stuff in such a way that it is clearly easier for them to exit stage right than to fix it: find some way to get their house to grow mould, wash their walls with paint thinner, hammer cracks into the support beam, subtly create holes in their roof and fuck with their shingles so when it rains, the water comes through, put gopher go in their plumbing, shit in their plumbing, piss in their plumbing then fuck the wife

[SKUV]

You know OP, the multi-quote button is a nice feature. Just saying....

[CarpeNemo]

Originally Posted by yellowjello

That's a good idea (the itching powder fiberglass stuff). Would that really cause a problem for them, or would it be barely noticeable? Also, couldn't they easily clean it?

And what would happen if I planted child porn and told the cops? What would the cops do..

Likely, it would be a while before they figured out what was causing all that itching, and it's a pain in the ass to get rid of. It'll leave rashes and shit all over you from the burning and scratching.

And I'd assume that they would get in trouble with the law and likely added to a child predator list, and be forced to relocate to an area with less child population.

Oh, and if they're not your neighbor, why the fuck do you care?

[Zanick]

- Mail them anthrax.

- Grow weed on the side of their house and then report them for possessing the plants after you harvest it.

- Kill them with an ax. Do it to every owner of the house and everyone that enters it ever. It'll make a great ghost story for stupid neighborhood kids who'll dare each other to sneak in and spend the night like little fucks, until you kill them anyway.

[ZX9R]

Poop in the desk.

[uiy23500]

Do what the government and/or police do to drive people away. Use ultra sound. The right frequency for a long periods of time pointed at their home can cause suicidal depression. If they notices they feel fine until they come home and then just want to die they might move out. Especially if you send them an anonymous warning letter from a concerned neighbor that the place was haunted by the ghosts of people that committed suicide and the depression radiated from these ghosts cause the consecutive previous owners to commit suicide too.

Or you can use police/gov trick #2 – using low level microwaves transmitters to the brain to make people think Satan is telling them to kill themselves. They used to do this a lot to make people go shoot up schools and malls to gain supporters for gun control. If they don’t fall for it, tell some other neighbors you are Satan and you demand that they kill these neighbors. If they don’t, keep telling new people and eventually someone is bound to fall for it.

[ZX9R]

Have you pooped in the desk yet?

[A2L5C19F]

Cockroaches and rats would work but that is if you REALLY hate them cause this will DESTROY THEIR LIVES, my uncle DEMOLISHED his house to get rid of an infestation. He burnt it down and claimed it on the insurance though which almost got him arrested lol.

[totse]

Just one extremely foul substance, butyric acid. It's the chemical in human vomit that gives it its horrible smell and induces a vomiting reflex. Popular with people who sabotage abortion clinics and anti whaling people.

[Dandamano]

Facebook+house party invites+booze+teenagers = one fucked up house