Anxiety
i started having anxiety attacks and think its to do with shoplifting.
shoplifting does not make me feel bad i feel no guilt & feel a rush when its over.
but when i have time to stop and think about it that is when the anxiety starts and i just have this awful feeling come over me.
i am scared because when i shop i look for things i plot. If i cant afford something i think "i will come back for that later"
when i do i keep getting away with it and each time i fear getting caught. at the start of the day i go early so with the attitude that i could possibly get caught and might not get back until late. So i leave early in case i am caught and gone a few hours no one in my family will find out if i am back before it gets late.
each time i get bigger and bigger things the risks seems high but it feels so easy to walk out unchallenged and get away with it.
the reason i started i guess is because i wanted to get back at the store when they i felt wronged.
When i had money i brought a video cam and 24 hours later the priced dropped by $100 i kicked up a stink but they did not give a fuck
so far i got the $100 back i got $115.
now i feel i paid them back but i still feel the need to carry on
seeing bluray disc ,xbox games etc sitting on the shelf its like they are begging for you to take them. The shop puts its trust in the eas system and tags and crap but its so easy to walk out with the item
it is just as easy as stealing candy from a baby. "not that i would steal candy from a baby".
now i dont know what to do. I just hate feeling this anxiety.
i guess i am just looking for some help because i dont want to feel this fucked up
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