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  #1  
Old 03-01-2009, 01:20 AM
Dr Z Tream Dr Z Tream is offline
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Confused How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Ok. So me and my girlfriend tried buttsecks tonight for the first time cos shes blobbing like that film about the giant blob that blobs around till Steve McQueen sends it to the blobbing Artic.
So I'm trying to stick my junk up there but there is no give and she's complaining that it hurts. I push again and she say it hurts more sp i give up.

Anyway, I wanna buttfuck her at some point in our relationship but she was pretty unwilling to give me the go ahead. It took me about 2 hours to convice her it was a good idea and now that it hasn't worked she's gonna figure I'm gonna stop suggesting it.

Anyway, I need to convince her to start stick stuff up her ass every few days to loosen it up down there. Starting off small like pens and cigarettes and working her way up to Lion bars and carrots.

Because hb/bc is full of pimp daddys Im here asking for advice. How should I go about getting her to loosen up her butt button?
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  #2  
Old 03-01-2009, 01:24 AM
rabbit boy rabbit boy is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

You did remember to lubricate, right?
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  #3  
Old 03-01-2009, 01:27 AM
Dr Z Tream Dr Z Tream is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

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Originally Posted by rabbit boy View Post
You did remember to lubricate, right?
Yeah man. I lubed up my dick and her ass and she still complained. WTF?
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:28 AM
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

just tell her she needs to loosen it up if she wants the pleasure...and if she doesnt comply just hold her down and shove it in
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:31 AM
xian xian is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

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Originally Posted by Dr Z Tream View Post
cigarettes

I foresee this going well.
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  #6  
Old 03-01-2009, 01:39 AM
danmega danmega is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

try hot dogs. if that doesn't work, horse tranquilizer
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  #7  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:04 AM
Craigslist.org Craigslist.org is offline
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Thumbs Up Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Duct tape and threats.
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  #8  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:07 AM
X61 X61 is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

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  #9  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:16 AM
Method of Madness Method of Madness is offline
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Exclamation Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Set an example and stick stuff up your ass first
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  #10  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:19 AM
El Monstruo El Monstruo is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Disgusting.
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  #11  
Old 03-01-2009, 03:10 AM
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NamelessNom4d NamelessNom4d is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Let her fuck you in the ass with a strap on dildo.
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  #12  
Old 03-01-2009, 04:56 AM
elf omg elf omg is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amyl_nitrite
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  #13  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:08 AM
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Thumbs Up Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

You're like Jerry Seinfeld, you have a new girlfriend every week.

I've never understood why any man would want anal sex with a woman, and why any woman would want that either. I just don't get it. There has to come a day where you wake up and say to yourself, "Ya know, it's time for something different."

But how do you get to that day?

Last edited by Morb; 03-01-2009 at 05:14 AM.
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  #14  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:11 AM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Make her eat an entire orange without chewing it. When she digests it, it should rip the arse off her.
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  #15  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:28 AM
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

You never ask....never.
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  #16  
Old 03-01-2009, 07:33 AM
CanadianCossack CanadianCossack is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morb View Post
You're like Jerry Seinfeld, you have a new girlfriend every week.

I've never understood why any man would want anal sex with a woman, and why any woman would want that either. I just don't get it. There has to come a day where you wake up and say to yourself, "Ya know, it's time for something different."

But how do you get to that day?

Lol quit mistakening a girlfriend for a fuck buddy. THat's what seinfeld was a player. he met his women at his comedy show or picked up tramps from the bar
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  #17  
Old 03-01-2009, 07:51 AM
Mantikore Mantikore is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

just sneak it in while going doggy style
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  #18  
Old 03-01-2009, 07:53 AM
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Thumbs Up Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianCossack View Post
Lol quit mistakening a girlfriend for a fuck buddy. THat's what seinfeld was a player. he met his women at his comedy show or picked up tramps from the bar
Seinfeld kept claiming that he was looking for the right woman to marry, he wasn't looking for a fuck buddy.

What made it funny is he instantly discarded any potential life-mate because of some insignificant little thing. He wasn't trying to be a player, he just didn't understand that his standards were too high while at the same time being too shallow.
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  #19  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:04 PM
Dr Z Tream Dr Z Tream is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morb View Post
You're like Jerry Seinfeld, you have a new girlfriend every week.

I've never understood why any man would want anal sex with a woman, and why any woman would want that either. I just don't get it. There has to come a day where you wake up and say to yourself, "Ya know, it's time for something different."

But how do you get to that day?
Nah man. I've been with this girl for quite a few months now. It's just the first time I've wanna to hit the dirt track.

And anals more about a change of scenery rather than more pleasure. If you go on holiday every year to Spain you sometimes want a change. If you go to Germany, chances are it's not going to be as nice as Spain but it's nice to explore the rest of the world. Ya dig?
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  #20  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:19 PM
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Z Tream View Post
Nah man. I've been with this girl for quite a few months now. It's just the first time I've wanna to hit the dirt track.

And anals more about a change of scenery rather than more pleasure. If you go on holiday every year to Spain you sometimes want a change. If you go to Germany, chances are it's not going to be as nice as Spain but it's nice to explore the rest of the world. Ya dig?
Why Spain? Go to the Canary Islands or Tahiti or something awesome. Then there won't ever be a need to go to Germany.
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  #21  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:22 PM
Craigslist.org Craigslist.org is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

inject her with novacane till that area is numb then fuck the shit out of it....... literally.
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  #22  
Old 03-01-2009, 05:43 PM
Frank Frank is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

She needs to relax. I suggest PCP.
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  #23  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:12 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Tell her SHH said to let you bumfuck her. Let her know I'm sort of a big deal
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  #24  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:12 PM
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Just...no.
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  #25  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:15 PM
elf omg elf omg is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wires View Post
Just...no.
You're too uptight. ^^
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  #26  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:16 PM
Dr Z Tream Dr Z Tream is offline
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Thumbs Down Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

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Originally Posted by wires View Post
Just...no.
Feminism fail.
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  #27  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:22 PM
Jeff The Hunter Jeff The Hunter is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Just sneak it in during doggy style, remember yes means no, and stop means more. With that in mind once you do finish she will love you forever, and will beg you to fuck her ass in the future.
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  #28  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:24 PM
elf omg elf omg is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff The Hunter View Post
Just sneak it in during doggy style, remember yes means no, and stop means more. With that in mind once you do finish she will love you forever, and will beg you to fuck her ass in the future.
It's true for some women.
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  #29  
Old 03-01-2009, 06:27 PM
Jeff The Hunter Jeff The Hunter is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

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Originally Posted by HandOfZek View Post
It's true for some women.
Yea, if it doesn't work, the worst thing that'll happen is that she'll be butthurt for a few days...
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  #30  
Old 03-01-2009, 10:39 PM
CanadianCossack CanadianCossack is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HandOfZek View Post
It's true for some women.
It's every woman's secret fetish.
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  #31  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:05 PM
slowdown slowdown is offline
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Smile Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Do some role playing whips and chains and stick this in her butt:
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  #32  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:09 PM
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Thumbs Up Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HandOfZek View Post
You're too uptight. ^^
This is the first thing you've ever said that actually made me laugh.

I don't even know if it was intentional or not, but it's still pretty fucking good.
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  #33  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:27 PM
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

If that means I'm uptight, then yes I am!
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  #34  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:48 PM
Yeah, I'm a leopard Yeah, I'm a leopard is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

wires only ever has sex in the missionary position. Lights off, no talking.
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  #35  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:52 PM
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constantinople constantinople is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

YIAL never has sex. Ever.
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  #36  
Old 03-01-2009, 11:54 PM
Craigslist.org Craigslist.org is offline
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Smile Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wires View Post
If that means I'm uptight, then yes I am!
try your pinky then work your way up to your big toe.
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  #37  
Old 03-02-2009, 12:00 AM
Yeah, I'm a leopard Yeah, I'm a leopard is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by constantinople View Post
YIAL never has sex. Ever.
Only ever with girl's who'll wear one of these:
Quote:
Originally Posted by slowdown View Post
stick this in her butt:
to play into the leopard fantasy. It's an admittedly short list.
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  #38  
Old 03-02-2009, 12:01 AM
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constantinople constantinople is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah, I'm a leopard View Post
Only ever with girl's who'll wear one of these:

to play into the leopard fantasy. It's an admittedly short list.
There is a kid at my school who wears a tail to school every single fucking day. I want to show this picture to him so badly.
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  #39  
Old 03-02-2009, 12:07 AM
Yeah, I'm a leopard Yeah, I'm a leopard is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by constantinople View Post
There is a kid at my school who wears a tail to school every single fucking day. I want to show this picture to him so badly.
...If that kid has been able to get away with wearing that everyday without being beaten up, it only shows another failing in the American public school system.
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  #40  
Old 03-02-2009, 12:17 AM
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constantinople constantinople is offline
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Default Re: How do i convince my girlfriend to stick stuff up her ass?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah, I'm a leopard View Post
...If that kid has been able to get away with wearing that everyday without being beaten up, it only shows another failing in the American public school system.
No. Someone ripped it out of his pants during a pep-rally and started "whipping" him with it. The kid got pissed and punched the guy who took it in the face. The kid who got punched kicked the furfag down the bleachers.
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