I liked a girl, then moved on, now I'm back - Read + Post Thoughts/Experiences

[ShyStar]

The scenario is this, back in mid 2007 I made friends with a girl I had known of around the place. I had seen her places but never had anything to do with her so I decided I'd make first contact to get to know her better. It was innocent, she seemed to be really nice. That was the case, we hit it off straight away...but just as friends.

Eventually I started to discover I was developing strong feelings for her and asked her if she'd want to go out as more than just friends and see how it went. At this stage she was, I suppose, in a crush situation with someone else and declined saying she didn't want to fuck up what we had together, which was good, I understood, I was hurt but accepted her decision and we continued to be good friends after a short period of time of awkwardness (brought on by me entirely).

It's been a little over 12 months now since I asked her.

Some significant changes to both our lives have been made but I won't go into them - they are independent changes that we have acheived ourselves but we have been there for each other for in various ways.

One thing of significance was me falling for a girl at my work at one stage she was all that was on my mind...and I spoke to her about this new girl, long story short I lucked out, perhaps for the best.

Now, somehow, for whatever reason my targets are set again on my friend. It frustrates me but I know how wonderful she is. On days we won't see each other we'll text one another. Nights when we are both out she'll ask me to go dancing with her (I refuse to...it's one of my rules, not in a shitty pub to a shitty band/"dj"...she understands it, it's more of a joke asking me now and trying to drag me to the dancefloor), and we make sure we're both alright.

The other night I went out she was drunk and I was hanging out with randoms, one of which she has a disliking towards. It didn't sink in until 2 days afterwards but she winked at me a few times throughout the night and at one point she linked our arms together so she could parade me around. I caught on slow, I put this down to that we're still "friends"...Do you think the situation has changed?

We're planning on getting on the booze together one night until we are both smash drunk. I am looking for some actions to take that she can green or red light on me that start out small and progress where she wants it to.

Looking for advice please help.

Sorry it was a long post it is important to me.

[BSTH]

well.. if something is up.. She should be the one making the first move. You are in no position to crack onto her considering you're the one that got 'rejected' in the first place... It just seems a bit... clingy? i dunno?

But watch it, doing something sexual or making a move may ruin your friendship with her if she does not wish to further on the relationship.. Example: I have some female mates who are just naturally flirty. Kiss me on the check, get touchy with me, dance with me etc.. but i know if i went in for the kill it would be a disaster.

But, if she is interested, and you two are gonna get mega pissed soon... I'm guessing some fireworks will be let off that night. But if nothing happens and she keeps on flirting with you, talk to her. Tell her how you feel and how you want to go further with her, but also ensure her that if she choses not to date you that your friendship will not change.

[Sleep Is A Curse]

lol she was drunk, If i took every thing that drunks did seriously there would be a lot more dead people.

[ShyStar]

Originally Posted by Sleep Is A Curse

lol she was drunk, If i took every thing that drunks did seriously there would be a lot more dead people.

Sorry I should probably have left that word out, we always get drunk when we're out and she's never done that sort of thing before. Me and her both are down to Earth people, nothing much changes when we're drunk except how well we can walk. Call me a prick but I know we'd work out perfectly, she couldn't be naive to that. We're both maturing into adults and are looking for better fits than that of those we went for previously with people.

Anyhow carry on.

[Sleep Is A Curse]

lol honestly, I think when you think someone is perfect for you you're deluding yourself.

Give it a go, i'm not dissuading you but detach yourself from that notion that shes perfect for you. while I'd love to eat my words I usually don't when someone thinks they're perfect for someone and vice versa.

[ShyStar]

Originally Posted by Sleep Is A Curse

lol honestly, I think when you think someone is perfect for you you're deluding yourself.

Give it a go, i'm not dissuading you but detach yourself from that notion that shes perfect for you. while I'd love to eat my words I usually don't when someone thinks they're perfect for someone and vice versa.

I know she's perfect for me lets leave it at that, whether I'm that for her no one knows that but her.

[Sleep Is A Curse]

GO FOR IT!