Ok kids, I have seen a lot of posts lately of folks taking large amounts of acetaminophen (aka APAP, paracetamol; brand name Tylenol) when getting high off opiates. There are numerous instructions on the internet but folks seem to struggle with a basic Google search.
Below are instructions on how to complete a Cold Water Extraction (CWE) in order to get rid of nasty stuff. This is incredibly easy – even your retarded cousin could probably complete this successfully. Really, if you do not learn how to do this you are either:
1. Lazy as fuck
2. More stupid than your cousin
3. Are dying to get on a liver transplant list
Now, the general guideline is one should not consume more than 2g (2000mg) of APAP per day. If you exceed this amount by a little, you should be fine. However, given that many of us consume our fair share of chemicals, it is a good idea to keep your liver as healthy as possible so I would highly advise it.
The below method will work with any opiate that contains APAP, aspirin, or ibuprofen (someone correct me if there are any exceptions).
You will need:
• Pills of your choice
• A glass container/cup - Why glass? Because glass does not react with the solution and it gets cold fast. Plastic sucks, you will be waiting a long time.
• A glass or metal bowl large enough to hold the glass container
• Filter of some sort. I use coffee filters because they are cheap but you could go out and buy a high quality lab filter
• Thermometer (nice, but not absolutely necessary)
For this example I am using 50 Tylenol 1’s. Each pill contains 325mg APAP, 8mg codeine, and 15mg caffeine. In Canada one can buy Tylenol 1’s over-the-counter (sorry Americans). Now, 50 pills equals 16250mg of APAP (16.25g) – more than enough to make me sick as a dog or land me in the hospital; however, I want that 400mg of codeine. Clear?
**NOTE: this method does not remove the caffeine so be warned if you are sensitive to it. I’m a heavy coffee drinker so it doesn’t bother me.**
STEP 1: Make Solution
• Grind pills. Use whatever method you want as long as it turns it into a powder with no chucks. I’m using a plain old coffee grinder.
• Put powder in glass container.
• Add hot water – note I said “hot,” not “boiling.” Boiling water will destroy the codeine. If it uncomfortable to the touch, it is hot enough. I generally use 2mL of water per pill; therefore, for this example I am using 100mL of water.
• Mix well.
STEP 2: Make ice water bath
• Put codeine solution container in bowl and surround with as much ice as you can.
• Fill bowl with cold water.
• Put in freezer.
STEP 3: Wait
• Find something to occupy your time – pick your nose, look up porn, screw your girlfriend, whatever. Myself, I’m downing a nice grapefruit cocktail. Why? Because grapefruit juice is said to potentiate opiates. Ask a biochemist why this happens because I can’t explain it.
• Wait until the solution is really cold but not frozen. I try to aim for 1-3C (33-37F). If you don’t have a thermometer; well, you’re have to guess. If you have a frozen layer on your ice bath you are probably pretty close.
• Why is this important? Well, APAP and the like do not dissolve well in cold water while opiates have no problem. Hence, if the solution is close to freezing the APAP will separate out while the opiate will remain in the solution.
STEP 4: Filter
• Grab your filter – I’m using 3 plain coffee filters stacked on each other. Soak the coffee filter in the ice bath water to get it cold and squeeze excess water out.
• Filter solution – some folks use the wait and let it drip method which takes forever. Personally, I’m not that patient. I fold up the edges of the filter to form a pouch and VERY gently squeeze the water out. If you squeeze too hard the filer will rip and you will have to start the filtration over again.
• Squeeze all water out. The solution should be CLEAR – no milky colour or white chunks. If it is not clear, repeat the filtration.
• Discard the nasty APAP putty. Throw it away, build a sculpture, whatever.
• TOTAL TIME = 45min
STEP 5: Enjoy
• You have a few options here – 1. Drink solution 2. Plug it in your bum 3. Dry for future use
• If you really want to impress your friends drink the solution straight. If you don’t gag, then you are a true man. Personally, I’m comfortable with my masculinity and mix it with a strong flavoured beverage such as orange or cranberry juice. I add a few tbsp of sugar to the drink because even with the strong juice, it is bitter as fuck. Or...
• Grab a large syringe (with no needle stupid) and your Astrolube and plug it. Don’t worry, this does not make you gay and if you are gay; well, you probably have more than enough Astrolube to spare. Or...
• Dry over very low heat. Again, too much heat destroys the opiate. Pour solution in a wide pan in order to increase the surface area. Either use a hair dryer or put it in your over on the lowest setting. DO NOT put it out in the sun – sunlight breaks down opiates. Personally, I don’t trust my oven so I put it on the lowest setting plus crack the door open a little. Wait till it is dry and scrape up the white residue. If you use codeine and are good at chemistry, you can take your dried product and convert it to morphine.