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Old 03-16-2010, 12:20 AM
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Default How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

SWIM wants to kill his neighbor’s excessively barking dog in the least suspicious way. The idea would be to poison the dog with something that is poisonous to dogs but won’t make it look like the dog was purposely poisoned (so no burger dipped in antifreeze). The dog would be better off dead than with its owners. SWIM really does not want to do this but it is the last resort since every legal option has been exhausted (HOA, Animal Control, etc) & the neighbors still won’t keep the dog quiet.

SWIM would plan on throwing the doggie poison over the fence in the middle of the night & pray like nothing else that no one sees what he is doing. The houses are very close together & there is too much risk of someone seeing if SWIM tried to poison the dog during the day. The idea would be that the neighbors would put the dog out in the morning when they wake up, the dog ingests the poison & dies before they’re even done with breakfast.

The catch is that the poison will need to work very quickly before the neighbors catch on that something is wrong with the dog & take it to the vet (there is a 24 hour animal hospital that is a 1 minute drive down the street). It’s a small lap dog, possibly a terrier.
SWIM would like this to look as least suspicious as possible as he as repeatedly complained about the dog barking & would look like the most obvious person who poisoned the dog.

Any ideas?
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:21 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

How about kidnap it and let it free.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:24 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by DaSkipper View Post
How about kidnap it and let it free.
SWIM has already considered that.

Someone in the neighbors house is ALWAYS home (a bunch of people live there). They keep their blinds & windows open & are always looking out the window so there is no way to take the dog w/o them seeing. Even though they're home they just ignore the dog barking & make no attempt to quiet it.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

I remember we had a bunch of wild cats living in our house a few years ago and my dad crushed up a bunch of diluadids to put it in there food so they might either die or nod off so we could catch them, turn out they sensed it and wouldent even eat it.......what a waste.



I dident even get high after I tried to snort the cat food.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:28 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
SWIM wants to kill his neighbor’s excessively barking dog in the least suspicious way. The idea would be to poison the dog with something that is poisonous to dogs but won’t make it look like the dog was purposely poisoned (so no burger dipped in antifreeze). The dog would be better off dead than with its owners. SWIM really does not want to do this but it is the last resort since every legal option has been exhausted (HOA, Animal Control, etc) & the neighbors still won’t keep the dog quiet.

SWIM would plan on throwing the doggie poison over the fence in the middle of the night & pray like nothing else that no one sees what he is doing. The houses are very close together & there is too much risk of someone seeing if SWIM tried to poison the dog during the day. The idea would be that the neighbors would put the dog out in the morning when they wake up, the dog ingests the poison & dies before they’re even done with breakfast.

The catch is that the poison will need to work very quickly before the neighbors catch on that something is wrong with the dog & take it to the vet (there is a 24 hour animal hospital that is a 1 minute drive down the street). It’s a small lap dog, possibly a terrier.
SWIM would like this to look as least suspicious as possible as he as repeatedly complained about the dog barking & would look like the most obvious person who poisoned the dog.

Any ideas?
SWIM should buy poison and a BB gun.

Poison + BBs = Dead dog. No one will ever know.... Wait, maybe you should use darts instead, and some pentobarbital. Maybe some chocolate liquor will do the trick.

Yes, either posioned BBs, or chocolate liquor.

Either that or just yell at the dog to stfu, I bet then people will take notice.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:29 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marijuanasaurus View Post
1. Get poison.
2. Inject it into your own eyes.
3. Fuck off you piece of shit
Stfu, Pussysaurus.
  #7  
Old 03-16-2010, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
SWIM should buy poison and a BB gun.

Poison + BBs = Dead dog. No one will ever know.... Wait, maybe you should use darts instead, and some peptobarbital. Maybe some chocolate liquor will do the trick.

Yes, either posioned BBs, or chocolate liquor.

Either that or just yell at the dog to stfu, I bet then people will take notice.
Someone would see. The houses are very close together. There's always people out & about in the neighborhood. Park & a school nearby. SWIM obviously doesn't want to get caught killing the dog.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrY View Post
I remember we had a bunch of wild cats living in our house a few years ago and my dad crushed up a bunch of diluadids to put it in there food so they might either die or nod off so we could catch them, turn out they sensed it and wouldent even eat it.......what a waste.



I dident even get high after I tried to snort the cat food.
ur famly sounds realy stupid. u should go on ur own iland or somthing so other ppl dont hafta deel with ur stupidness

ok so op heres wut u do. put a hole in the fense *****AXIDENTLY***** and then let the dog com in ur yard. then kidnap it and drive it far away 2 a randim nayberhood so it cant find its way home and away from bizy streets. then let it free so som1 will eventualy take it home and give it a good plase 2 live
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Oh yeah. Give it Chocolate. Lots of it.

They'll never realize it was SWIM and when the people find it (Since you said theres a lot of people in the house, this will be fine) they'll just assume one of them did it but realize no one would ever confess to this.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

How about SWIM go over to the neighbors house and beat the shit out of them! Or maybe SWIM's afraid of teh dawg!
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  #11  
Old 03-16-2010, 12:35 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marijuanasaurus View Post
1. Get poison.
2. Inject it into your own eyes.
3. Fuck off you piece of shit
Flames were expected. But until you listen to an excessively barking dog for years on end you won't get it. That kind of shit will make a person lose it & do things they normally wouldn't do... like poison a dog.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:37 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by DaSkipper View Post
Oh yeah. Give it Chocolate. Lots of it.

They'll never realize it was SWIM and when the people find it (Since you said theres a lot of people in the house, this will be fine) they'll just assume one of them did it but realize no one would ever confess to this.
Most logical idea so far.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
Someone would see. The houses are very close together. There's always people out & about in the neighborhood. Park & a school nearby. SWIM obviously doesn't want to get caught killing the dog.
Do it at night. If you can't, pull some serious shit.

1. Try digging a hole in the wall that divides you from their home. Get the dog to come through it, trap it, and then close the hole up. Make sure most of the hole is on YOUR side, remember, dogs can crawl through small places. Do whatever to the dog, and dispose of it properly.

2. Invite them over for dinner. Have kids you payed money to sneak into their yard and give the dog large doses of x (chocolate, etc).

3. Go up to their house, knock on the door, and tell them to shut their dog up.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Hershey bars. Hell, it's nearing Easter, get a bunch of Cadbury eggs.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:45 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Ask bunny.meatball.

He is very good at that kind of thing.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:47 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Try this instead

http://www.google.com/products/catal...wAg#ps-sellers
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:48 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

ur a moron dude, if you've called animal control and other legal alternatives CLEARLy you'll be the main suspect when the dog mysteriously dies.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:49 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

http://www.peteducation.com/article....+1659&aid=1030
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:49 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Cliche Guevara View Post
ur a moron dude, if you've called animal control and other legal alternatives CLEARLy you'll be the main suspect when the dog mysteriously dies.

That's why SWIM wants to poison the dog in the least suspicous way possible, with a common household item that can kill dogs but not being considered an obvious poison. Also, SWIM hasn't complained about the dog barking in over a year.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElReyDel$$$ View Post
SWIM tried that. It doesn't work.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Swim tried to kill a dog with a novadose of chocolate and they enjoyed it and lived no vet attention was needed.

swim went and got 80% dark chocolate "that is what is so called lethal to dogs" swim gave them 6 bars of it cost me $5

Swim fed it to them they woofed the whole lot.

48 hours later they are still alive. weeks passed weeks turned in to months and the fuckers are still alive.

The easiest least cruel way to get ride of them is to capture them take them in your truck remove the collars drive 100 miles away and let them loose.
either that or take them to the pound or animal rescue.

there are other dog poisons out there "garlic" "Onions" "Anti freeze" "vodka"
google the word harmful food for dogs there are plenty of website warning pet owners of the dangers of harmful foods and drink that would kill a dog.
Such sites can be used to your advantage.

swim would get a big pot melt 1kg of dark chocolate 80% coco solids add some vodka anti freeze onions and garlic with raisins and some Valium and some meat mix it up in to a big mixture and feed it to the dogs.

if that does not kill a dog nothing will
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:51 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
That's why SWIM wants to poison the dog in the least suspicous way possible, with a common household item that can kill dogs but not being considered an obvious poison. Also, SWIM hasn't complained about the dog barking in over a year.
LOOK at this:

http://www.peteducation.com/article....+1659&aid=1030
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:55 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post

Chocolate particularly Baker's chocolate seems like the way to go.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:56 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Maybe a string or fishing wire in canned dog food? Itll tie the intestines
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:57 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
Chocolate particularly Baker's chocolate seems like the way to go.
Didn't you read that other guy's post?

Get some vodka. Pour it in the dog's bowl at night.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:58 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ElReyDel$$$ View Post
Maybe a string or fishing wire in canned dog food? Itll tie the intestines
THAT'S an idea!
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:59 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
Didn't you read that other guy's post?

Get some vodka. Pour it in the dog's bowl at night.
Maybe it was a large dog & he didn't give it enough chocolate?

Doesn't hurt to try it.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:00 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Id recommend from a sock or shirt or something. That way if an autopsy is done they will think its more than likely from their clothes and wont suspect you
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:03 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Welcome to Bad Ideas, please check your morals at the door.

Besides, the OP is right. You have no idea what it is to have a neighbor with a dog that barks 24/7 at the least provocation. I do, so STFU
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:03 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
You know what? Fuck this, I think I'm gonna fucking report this shit because now it's sounding really fucked up.

ShadyLady, how about you just kill yourself and let the dog bark its ass off?

Instead of being a damned retard, maybe you should just fucking move.
SWIM owns the house & can't sell it b/c of the bad housing market & the barking dog nearby. Moving isn't an option. The dog is neglected & would be better off dead than with it's owners.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:04 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Stop being a little bitch and don't snitch. Kill the fucker at like 3 am.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:06 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ElReyDel$$$ View Post
Welcome to Bad Ideas, please check your morals at the door.

Besides, the OP is right. You have no idea what it is to have a neighbor with a dog that barks 24/7 at the least provocation. I do, so STFU
Uhh, yeah, I do, but I leave the damn dog alone so it doesn't fucking bark whatsoever. Maybe the OP should buy a dog and see what happens. Get a pitbull or a rottweiler.

Maybe you dumbasses should think outside that cold, little head of yours and try consulting the neighbors first.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:09 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
SWIM owns the house & can't sell it b/c of the bad housing market & the barking dog nearby. Moving isn't an option. The dog is neglected & would be better off dead than with it's owners.
So how come you don't fucking tell the neighbors to tell it to stfu? Are you too humble?

Try yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" when it barks and see what the owners think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaSkipper View Post
Stop being a little bitch and don't snitch. Kill the fucker at like 3 am.
Stfu nigger; go suck a dick you little pussy.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:10 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
Uhh, yeah, I do, but I leave the damn dog alone so it doesn't fucking bark whatsoever. Maybe the OP should buy a dog and see what happens. Get a pitbull or a rottweiler.

Maybe you dumbasses should think outside that cold, little head of yours and try consulting the neighbors first.
The dog barks at everything that isn't an inanimate object. SWIM hasn't used his backyard in years b/c of the barking. SWIM tried reasoning with the owners (didn't work), complaining to HOA (didn't work) & complaining to Animal Control (didn't work).
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:12 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
So how come you don't fucking tell the neighbors to tell it to stfu? Are you too humble?

Try yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" when it barks and see what the owners think.

SWIM tried that already.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:14 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
The dog barks at everything that isn't an inanimate object. SWIM hasn't used his backyard in years b/c of the barking. SWIM tried reasoning with the owners (didn't work), complaining to HOA (didn't work) & complaining to Animal Control (didn't work).
What does your block look like? Does it look like this:

house1|house4
______|______
house2|house3
______|______
house5|house6

?

If so, get houses 1,3,5 to build a fence blocking house 2's sight.

It will save more if houses 1,3 pitch in, right?
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:15 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by Treefingers.s View Post
What does your block look like? Does it look like this:

house1|house4
_____
house2|house3
_____
house5|house6

?

If so, get houses 1,3,5 to build a fence blocking house 2's sight.

It will save more if houses 1,3 pitch in, right?
HOA won't allow that.
  #38  
Old 03-16-2010, 01:16 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
The dog barks at everything that isn't an inanimate object. SWIM hasn't used his backyard in years b/c of the barking. SWIM tried reasoning with the owners (didn't work), complaining to HOA (didn't work) & complaining to Animal Control (didn't work).
drug the dogs then break the fence make it look like they escaped. then sent them 100,s of miles away or report them as strays after you remove their tags
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:20 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

Are you positive that you've exhausted all of your legal options? See if your municipality has any noise laws specific to pets, then simply call the police and ask for the owners to be fined under that law. If you can afford to, seek the assistance of a lawyer specializing in local bylaw and see if they have any recommendations. You mention that the houses in your area are fairly close together. Surely there are other neighbors that are frustrated by the dog's constant noise too? Perhaps speak with them if you know them and see if they would join you in calling the police/animal control. That, or write a letter on behalf of the neighborhood and have everyone who dislikes the noise sign it.

I know you mention having not complained in over a year. Perhaps you should try one last time before attempting to kill the dog. Speak to the owners politely, but firmly and raise your concerns about the dog's behavior. If they don't seem to care/ refuse to correct the situation, threaten legal action, as well as calling in animal control again.

Remember, its not the dog's fault that it has shitty owners, so avoid taking your frustrations out on the dog if at all possible. The dog only behaves that way because it is permitted to, and has received no training or human contact. The dog probably barks because they leave it in the yard all day and pay no attention to it, so it barks to seek attention.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:24 AM
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Default Re: How to poison neighbors dog w/o getting caught

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Originally Posted by ShadyLady27 View Post
HOA won't allow that.
Do whatever with the poisoning, just don't do the fucking intestine idea. That's the one that got me pissed off.

Huh. Try getting high with the dog. Make the dog like you.
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