Tired of life (not suicidal)

[Mathrio]

Before I start let me just say that english is not my first language. Some word choices might seem odd, that's just me being french and being to lazy to search for the proper word to fit in that sentence.

Yes, i'm tried of living. Actually, I should say i'm bored of living. Life is boring as hell. I'm 21 and I feel like my happy days are in the past, what's left ahead of me just seems so bland... Study some more, than get a job, pay bills, retire, do nothing for 10-20 years if i'm lucky, then die a relieving death.

When I was young I wanted to be immortal. Knowing my life was finite made me angry at the world. Now, 10 years laters (because face it, before 10 you don't know shit), I don't think death can come soon enough.

Why do I feel this way? Well let's see, I feel like I failed my life.

First there's the love side of my life. If I had to give myself a grade for that I'd give myself I fucking D minus. It's so bad, it's actually starting to be funny. I'm 21 and i've never kissed a girl, I held hands once but nothing more. My last contact with girls goes back to when I was 16 or even younger i'm not even sure. I've been in love many times, except it's always a one way "lust", not because those girls don't love me back but because I don't even bother to ask them. I'm too fucking shy and self-aware for that. I know some of you think: well get off your ass and ask them it's easy, just initiate a conversation and go from there. I know it's that easy, but I still won't do it. Why? Because i'm a pussy and I'd rather not know what a girl thinks about me than be rejected. Love sucks, you get so anxious about meeting someone then when you actually do you get angry at each others and split up and then you feel like shit for i don't know how long because i've never actually broke up with a girlfriend because i've never had any.

I was going to make a sort of list but right now i'm realizing that most of my problems revolve around relationships. Other aspects of my life that sucks are my tinnitus (lovely illness for those who are not familiar with it, look it up). I've had it for less than a year and I don't see how i'll even enjoy my future with that shitty hissing sound in my head all the time. Thank god I don't hear it during the day, if it becomes worse I'll have to take actions. I don't know what i'll do yet, either kill myself or become an alcoholic or drug addict, something to make reality not suck.

Anyways, I don't know why i'm putting this on zoklet. With luck I'll get a tl;dr or murder/suicide. I know my post doesn't even make sense. It started all "i'm gonna make a list of the things that suck in my life" and ended like a bad 80s movie. What i'm hoping for this thread to be is a thread where people let their hearts out. It's important to tell your problems to someone and if like me you're too much of a pussy to speak to your friend of family about it then the internet (this thread specifically) is the place to go.

TL;DR

I'm a fucking loser and my life sucks. My future will probably be shit and I really don't care if I die in the next 10 years.

[THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMNIT]

drugs/hookers, have a nice day

[SKUV]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

I know my post doesn't even make sense.

Yeah it does. And at least you are not in my situation, yeah I've kissed a girl before, but other than that I've done nothing and I'm almost 19.

I'm a pedophile, and even though I didn't and don't plan on acting out on it, a while back I was so desperate that I thought about trying to take as many hallucinogens as possible, hoping to make myself go insane and be able to hallucinate a little girl.

But then I realized I couldn't even afford all of those drugs even if I really did go through with it.

But, even with all of that shit, along with basically being socially dead, I still feel positive about life. Just like you, I am also young, and neither of us really know what the future is going to be like. It seems boring now, but a lot of shit can and will happen. And life doesn't have to be all about relationships, if you want your life to be less bland, find some kind of hobby, or just make yourself go out and do something. Chances are you might find a girl that complements the way you are, but you will never know if you don't even go out and do something for yourself.

So as I said, life isn't all about romantic relationships, so don't let that drag you down, as that's probably why you feel like your life is so boring, you think that's all you need, so everything else probably doesn't feel the same.

[Bleeding Kansas]

Sounds like you need some pussy. Really though, rejection, or even depression can be better than that numbing apathy you're suffering through as I type this. I guess my major problems in life revolve around relationships as well. I'm not just talking about my love life, I mean friendship as well. I just turned 19, like today, this very fucking morning, and I'm scared my life will only get worse like you. Earlier in my teens I had more friends then I could really keep up with, now I don't hang out with anyone. You see, I moved too much. I keep grasping at the idea of moving back to the place I used to live and attending college in the area. I think that everything will be great after I do that, and I will have plenty of friends, but in the back of my mind I'm anything but sure. It seems like a childish thing to do, but no one on Zoklet would know the specifics anyway. The only thing that keeps me going now with all this isolation is the thought that I might one day soon be back where I had the most fun, getting a quality education and recovering some of the best friends I ever had.

Its all as sad as it sounds. So there you go I hope me "letting my heart out" helps you in some way, but I don't see how it could. I've been up for a pretty long time so please forgive any typos.

[Bleeding Kansas]

I'm not tired of life, but It seems I'm setting myself up for epic failure.

[Mathrio]

I don't think i'm socially dead. In fact, I feel like I am nothing without my friends. I hate being alone, I'd rather sleep all day and wait for the evening, so i can get together with my friends. In fact that what I do.

My everyday life, right now, goes like this:

-Wake up at 4-5 pm.
-Computer stuff until 7-8 pm
-Start asking what my friends are doing around that time.
-Go out with friends until 1-2 am.
-Watch sitcoms/cartoons until 6-7 am.
-Go to sleep

I only have classes on monday afternoon and thursdays, so I have a lot of free time, which I put to no use. I sleep it. I realized today that I actually sleep 12+ hours a day. I'm guessing being dead is pretty much like when you sleep and you don't remember dreaming, and I like it a lot. As boring as my life will be at least death will be enjoyable. I'm still not suicidal I swear.

Thanks for your responses though, I will definitely try to hit the gym like I did before I busted my knee doing squats. Lose some weight and start fucking bitches. Then life might be ok. I hope.

Edit: It's almost 7 am, i'll probably go to bed soon, even though I don't want to. Or maybe I'll stay up as late as i fucking want because I have nothing to do tomorrow. (or today, i don't know anymore)

[Bleeding Kansas]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

I don't think i'm socially dead. In fact, I feel like I am nothing without my friends. I hate being alone, I'd rather sleep all day and wait for the evening, so i can get together with my friends. In fact that what I do.

My everyday life, right now, goes like this:

-Wake up at 4-5 pm.
-Computer stuff until 7-8 pm
-Start asking what my friends are doing around that time.
-Go out with friends until 1-2 am.
-Watch sitcoms/cartoons until 6-7 am.
-Go to sleep

I only have classes on monday afternoon and thursdays, so I have a lot of free time, which I put to no use. I sleep it. I realized today that I actually sleep 12+ hours a day. I'm guessing being dead is pretty much like when you sleep and you don't remember dreaming, and I like it a lot. As boring as my life will be at least death will be enjoyable. I'm still not suicidal I swear.

Thanks for your responses though, I will definitely try to hit the gym like I did before I busted my knee doing squats. Lose some weight and start fucking bitches. Then life might be ok. I hope.

Edit: It's almost 7 am, i'll probably go to bed soon, even though I don't want to. Or maybe I'll stay up as late as i fucking want because I have nothing to do tomorrow. (or today, i don't know anymore)

Yeah man, having friends is so important to me. I never had trouble making intelligent, cool friends. I was always friends with upperclassmen my whole high school career, but I moved around so much in my teen years I never really had time. Girls were never a problem either, I might not be super good looking, but I'm certainly not shy. the idea of making new friends gets kind of old when you enter the fourth high school in your fourth and final year of high school. The few I did make that last year are spread out all across the Texas and the country at different universities or the military. Like I said, the only thing that keeps me going is thinking that it will get better.

[Mathrio]

My father just had a talk with me about my grades and what I plan to do in the future.

Made me realize i'm a mess, my grades are subpar and I just don't work hard enough. I know i'm smarter than most people, I also know i'm lazier than most people. I wish I could just get a year off to get my life back on track. Sadly it's never gonna happen.

[Ed Lister]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

Before I start let me just say that english is not my first language. Some word choices might seem odd, that's just me being french and being to lazy to search for the proper word to fit in that sentence.

Yes, i'm tried of living. Actually, I should say i'm bored of living. Life is boring as hell. I'm 21 and I feel like my happy days are in the past, what's left ahead of me just seems so bland... Study some more, than get a job, pay bills, retire, do nothing for 10-20 years if i'm lucky, then die a relieving death.

When I was young I wanted to be immortal. Knowing my life was finite made me angry at the world. Now, 10 years laters (because face it, before 10 you don't know shit), I don't think death can come soon enough.

Why do I feel this way? Well let's see, I feel like I failed my life.

First there's the love side of my life. If I had to give myself a grade for that I'd give myself I fucking D minus. It's so bad, it's actually starting to be funny. I'm 21 and i've never kissed a girl, I held hands once but nothing more. My last contact with girls goes back to when I was 16 or even younger i'm not even sure. I've been in love many times, except it's always a one way "lust", not because those girls don't love me back but because I don't even bother to ask them. I'm too fucking shy and self-aware for that. I know some of you think: well get off your ass and ask them it's easy, just initiate a conversation and go from there. I know it's that easy, but I still won't do it. Why? Because i'm a pussy and I'd rather not know what a girl thinks about me than be rejected. Love sucks, you get so anxious about meeting someone then when you actually do you get angry at each others and split up and then you feel like shit for i don't know how long because i've never actually broke up with a girlfriend because i've never had any.

I was going to make a sort of list but right now i'm realizing that most of my problems revolve around relationships. Other aspects of my life that sucks are my tinnitus (lovely illness for those who are not familiar with it, look it up). I've had it for less than a year and I don't see how i'll even enjoy my future with that shitty hissing sound in my head all the time. Thank god I don't hear it during the day, if it becomes worse I'll have to take actions. I don't know what i'll do yet, either kill myself or become an alcoholic or drug addict, something to make reality not suck.

Anyways, I don't know why i'm putting this on zoklet. With luck I'll get a tl;dr or murder/suicide. I know my post doesn't even make sense. It started all "i'm gonna make a list of the things that suck in my life" and ended like a bad 80s movie. What i'm hoping for this thread to be is a thread where people let their hearts out. It's important to tell your problems to someone and if like me you're too much of a pussy to speak to your friend of family about it then the internet (this thread specifically) is the place to go.

TL;DR

I'm a fucking loser and my life sucks. My future will probably be shit and I really don't care if I die in the next 10 years.

Totally sounds like you are having an existential crisis. Bro.

[Mathrio]

Originally Posted by Ed Lister

Totally sounds like you are having an existential crisis. Bro.

I totally agree. Does it go away on its own or do I have to do something about it?

[Ed Lister]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

I totally agree. Does it go away on its own or do I have to do something about it?

Usually it will go away but if it doesn't then don't worry, you now have a reason to pursue (most likely) doomed creative ventures, travel worldwide without thinking where you are going or what you are doing and generally be a fuck up for most of your twenties.

Enjoy it, you'll never get another free pass like this.

[ShadyLady]

You people are fucking losers. My life rocks! Godosomedrugs.

[Ed Lister]

Originally Posted by ShadyLady

You people are fucking losers. My life rocks! Godosomedrugs.

Shut the fuck up.

[I Still Needmoney]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

My father just had a talk with me about my grades and what I plan to do in the future.

Made me realize i'm a mess, my grades are subpar and I just don't work hard enough. I know i'm smarter than most people, I also know i'm lazier than most people. I wish I could just get a year off to get my life back on track. Sadly it's never gonna happen.

This is exactly my problem too: I have the ability to do well, providing that I try hard enough for it, but I'm too much of a lazy fuck who puts things off until last minute.

I suppose in the end if I don't work for it, I don't deserve it. I dunno, I've just had a major lack of motivation and productivity ever since I left college...

[Captain Beyond]

At least you're honest to yourself. And yeah, although relationships are a part of life, they're not the most important.

Some sort of creative output would do you a world of good. Making something with your own hands from your own imagination is a great way to feel you're not wasting your life. With some motivation to do anything things will start moving faster and life will become interesting again.

[Yggdrasil]

You need to find yourself some kind of purpose for life, even if that feeling of purposefulness is temporary. How long do you have until you complete your (undergrad I imagine?) degree? Perhaps you could take a year or two off working with the peace corps helping the poor somewhere? In my mind at least, doing selfless things like that make me feel better.

About your girl troubles... and you might not want to hear this, but... perhaps you're gay and you don't even know it? I remember before I admitted to myself that I was gay that I'd feel frustrated at my lack of intimacy with women, though as soon as I realized to myself that I was in fact gay I realized how silly I had been, and how there were signs of it written all over the wall in bold. The whole time I always had a circle of mostly female friends, I felt attraction to some guys I knew, got off to gay porn, etc.

It seems silly to not realize you're gay even when you're doing all this kind of stuff, but being earnest about your sexual orientation begins by being honest with yourself, and for a lot of people getting over that first mental hurdle is something very, very difficult to do. Often people don't jump that hurdle till they're middle-aged, with families and careers, by which time coming clean could involve hurting others, not to mention your own credibility.

Back to your problems, OP, I would also recommend you try gardening or get a pet. I enjoy caring for plants and the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when your plants are healthy, when they start growing new shoots etc is pretty good. Pets are like that too, but they keep you company, and can reciprocate the affection you might not be getting from others in your daily life. And no, I'm not suggesting bestiality

[Duelist]

"amor fati"

you just gotta roll with the punches man you are who you are,

you haven't failed shit man, not yet. not till your dead.

[Yggdrasil]

Also, tu es Québécois, OP?

[I Still Needmoney]

Jon Bon Jovi feels your pain:

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/...with-life.html

[Lord hang man]

You're probably just looking for something to validate your life. I found something like that relatively recently and it's hip hop, I was similarly run down by life until I started rapping. The thing is to realize that you're always changing, and that you need to always be changing. Bob Dylan said that if you realize that, you'll always kind of be alright. I say that if you are always changing and always needing to change, that means you're always where you need to be.

FOkkin' ZEF

[Twin Gats]

Originally Posted by SKUV

Yeah it does. And at least you are not in my situation, yeah I've kissed a girl before, but other than that I've done nothing and I'm almost 19.

I'm a pedophile, and even though I didn't and don't plan on acting out on it, a while back I was so desperate that I thought about trying to take as many hallucinogens as possible, hoping to make myself go insane and be able to hallucinate a little girl.

But then I realized I couldn't even afford all of those drugs even if I really did go through with it.

But, even with all of that shit, along with basically being socially dead, I still feel positive about life. Just like you, I am also young, and neither of us really know what the future is going to be like. It seems boring now, but a lot of shit can and will happen. And life doesn't have to be all about relationships, if you want your life to be less bland, find some kind of hobby, or just make yourself go out and do something. Chances are you might find a girl that complements the way you are, but you will never know if you don't even go out and do something for yourself.

So as I said, life isn't all about romantic relationships, so don't let that drag you down, as that's probably why you feel like your life is so boring, you think that's all you need, so everything else probably doesn't feel the same.

You arent alone dude, i went to my lil sisters bday a couple days ago, a whole house filled with 15 year old girls, ohh man. Hey, if they have tits and ass they are good for me.

But anyways, op, best thing to do in this situation is start talking to people. Im sure you have homeless people in your town. Talk to them. Ask them what gives them a will to live. Depression is purely a matter of perspective.

[Mathrio]

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil

About your girl troubles... and you might not want to hear this, but... perhaps you're gay and you don't even know it? I remember before I admitted to myself that I was gay that I'd feel frustrated at my lack of intimacy with women, though as soon as I realized to myself that I was in fact gay I realized how silly I had been, and how there were signs of it written all over the wall in bold. The whole time I always had a circle of mostly female friends, I felt attraction to some guys I knew, got off to gay porn, etc.

It seems silly to not realize you're gay even when you're doing all this kind of stuff, but being earnest about your sexual orientation begins by being honest with yourself, and for a lot of people getting over that first mental hurdle is something very, very difficult to do. Often people don't jump that hurdle till they're middle-aged, with families and careers, by which time coming clean could involve hurting others, not to mention your own credibility.

To be honest, I really don't think i'm gay. I tried jacking off to gay porn, it just didn't cut it. I do enjoy trap porn though and handjob porn with focus on cumming (is that considered gay?). I wouldn't mind being gay though, I'd just have to find a way to put a child on this earth. I know i'm not gay.

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil

Also, tu es Québécois, OP?

Yes I am why?

Originally Posted by MegaKush

You arent alone dude, i went to my lil sisters bday a couple days ago, a whole house filled with 15 year old girls, ohh man. Hey, if they have tits and ass they are good for me.

But anyways, op, best thing to do in this situation is start talking to people. Im sure you have homeless people in your town. Talk to them. Ask them what gives them a will to live. Depression is purely a matter of perspective.

That's also part of my frustration. I never had a girlfriend at that time, I feel like I missed the point where girl are so fucking tight, I'll never have that chance again unless i'm a pedo, which I don't wanna be. oh well...

As for the homeless people, there's one homeless person in my whole town that I know of. I'm not even sure he's homeless, it's more like he's into simple living. He seems happy.

[loose fur]

how can you go 21 years without kissing a girl? I don't see how thats possible.

sometimes I feel like I never kissed or fucked a girl who wasn't a 2 bit whore, then I try to imagine a girl who isn't a 2 bit whore and my mind goes blank.

[Bleeding Kansas]

Originally Posted by loose fur

how can you go 21 years without kissing a girl? I don't see how thats possible.

Yeah, I forgot to ask this. How the fuck, man?

[Mathrio]

I touched lips with a girl once or twice, was never a kiss. If the person you kiss doesnt kiss you back it's not really a kiss is it?

[Ed Lister]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

I touched lips with a girl once or twice, was never a kiss. If the person you kiss doesnt kiss you back it's not really a kiss is it?

Sure it is. Wait, was she dead?

[Mathrio]

Nope she was alive, she still is. She used to be a pretty and innocent little girl, now she's an attention whore borderline slut.

[Metaflux]

Alright man I'll respond to your post under one simple condition, you at least consider the points I have to make... I've been going to school for Human Services and taken a few classes in solution-based therapy and other stuff so I'll try my best to help. So the focus about solution-based therapy is realizing that your already performing on some minor scale the solutions to your problems. That there isn't some secret answer that will solve all your answers and issues. Also one major thing about this concept is the solution can be whatever works for you, even if it's unconventional and peculiar (to an extent of coarse).

OK so first off I have to comment on what almost seems like a cry for help or feeling of complete desperation. "I don't know what I'll do yet, either kill myself or become an alcoholic or drug addict, something to make reality not suck." This is the first thing you need to work with before you can even begin to worry about relationships and dealing with your boredom. Now again a big thing about solution-based therapy is not giving advice to people because what worked for me might not work for you. However in this case I'm going to make a slight exception and make a "recommendation". The last thing you want to do right now is start using drugs or to run away from your problems with substance abuse. In reality this will only make your problems WORSE. I can assure you if your thinking about ending your life now, when your deep in the throes of a drug addiction that feeling will only intensify.Now drug addiction is something I can speak from experience and it has done nothing but hinder my life on SO MANY LEVELS. You can't even begin to imagine the physical and mental pain it has put me through including the important relationships in my life. You think talking to girls now is hard? Try salvaging enough confidence to talk to someone you like when your some washed up, strung-out junkie. TRUST ME ON THIS, illicit drugs will only worsen your situation. Now if you see a psychiatrist and he prescribes you anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication that is a different story, which now leads me to my next suggestion.

I recommend seeing a skilled psychiatrist who is educated in a multitude of therapy models, not just one. No one here can really give you anything of great value from just reading a single post. You will want to sit down and speak with a therapist who can get to know you over a period of time. If you don't like that person or their techniques then try to see someone else who you think works the best for you.

Now moving on to your perceived life of future boredom and monotonous living... Referring to what I learned, try to identify when you haven't recently felt this way. Simply put, focus on this period of time then try to make an effort to do more of it. For example: "I only feel like my life has any hope when I do things constructive with my time like playing guitar or writing in my journal. So I should do more of these things and try to think of other constructive hobbies that will help me." Obviously this is over-simplified but I should also mention that how you think about certain things will make a huge difference in how you feel on many different levels. You feel that your future life will be that way and because of this thinking pattern it's a self-fulfilling prophesy. Even if you are doing something great with your life if that is how you think no matter what, you will feel the same way.

You also said "I'm 21 and I feel like my happy days are in the past," LOL how can you say that? You even said yourself you never had a GF and such. Instead of dwelling on the past and how "great" it was you should focus on your future man. You're young and have plenty of time to still change things. That is one major point I wanted to make is that you STILL HAVE TIME TO CHANGE THINGS BEFORE THEY ARE TO LATE. One of MY biggest fears is growing old and feeling like I wasted my precious life but I'm to cripple to do anything about it. You have such a great opportunity still to make something of your life, even if it's just getting a good job our lives isn't just about working. I'm not even going to list all of the wonderful things our world has to offer man.

You seemed to be very stressed over your love life (intimate relationships). Just because your 21 and still a virgin doesn't mean a damn thing. Trust me women out there who are "straight-edge" will SERIOUSLY appreciate that aspect about you. You don't want to date some stupid bitch that has mental issues or drug problems, you'll want someone who is on the same level as you. Now going to the bar's and such is the worst place to find a good women dude. I guess what I'm trying to say is for you most likely a good honest straight-edge girl might work the best; Not some party animal, hoe-ass, drama loving, materialistic, cunt that will make things worse. So when you find someone good and true they will really appreciate the fact your a virgin, trust me.

About your shyness and what-not really there is nothing that can help other then what you had already said. Nothing and I mean NOTHING can develop as a relationship until you initialize that first greeting. When your lonely, old, and decrepit, you'll regret all of the times you never talked to that nice looking girl. The fear of rejection is nerve-racking, trust me man I know. One time I was partying with some friends and this sexy and I mean SEXY girl was really digging me the whole night. When we all went to sleep she INVITED ME INTO BED WITH HER basically signaling "Hey, I really like you and want to get physical" and know what I did? I crawled into bed and went to asleep because I was nervous about her rejecting my advances. To this day I regret not at least kissing her but really I will never know because I DIDN'T INITIALIZE SHIT.

Let me tell you something, 90% of the time girls WILL NOT initialize the conversation. It is up to you to get the ball rolling and really what is the worst that will happen? You will get rejected and your ego will get a little butt-hurt. Are you really that egotistical about yourself that you can't get a little embarrassed once in a while? Just GO FOR IT and if she embarrasses you this is what I do, turn it around on her and make her feel like a cunt for being the cunt THAT SHE IS. Because no girl should make a man feel like an ass for just wanting to talk to her.

Now here is something that might help you with your game. When you initialize the conversation or see a girl you want to talk too this is what I do. Tell yourself that your not just trying to find a girlfriend but rather just a good friend to talk to. Thinking in terms of GF/BF it will just add to the pressure and make you act unnatural. That is the KEY to a good interaction is being NATURAL and YOURSELF. If that person doesn't like you for who you are obviously she isn't right for you. Now eventually when things feel right and comfortable ask her is she wants to hang out preferably in a public place at first. Don't try to make it a date unless she is really digging you, just say like "hang out". If things work out and you start spending time with her you will know eventually if things "click".

Now at this point one big mistake some guys make is if things do "click" they just continue on with the whole "friend" thing and ruin it. If you can tell mutual feelings begin developing make the initiative to take things further. That is what I do now when I try to meet girls and such. Just approach it as wanting to hang out and have a good time and if things "click" they "click", if they don't oh well because you still made a friend right? But remember if things work out be the man and take it further by asking her on a date and kiss her on that date. If this girl is right you will know because you will feel pretty comfortable with her. Feeling judged or what not isn't a good sign when it comes to relationships, you shouldn't ever feel like your being judged and shit from your GF!

EDIT: This technique is what works for me but it might not work for you. Again referring to the Solution-Based Therapy try to think of a time when you did feel confident enough to initialize a conversation with a girl. Focus on that incident and try to do more of what you did, eventually you will feel comfortable enough with yourself.
Anyways hope some of this helps and good luck.

[Metaflux]

Originally Posted by ShadyLady

You people are fucking losers. My life rocks! Godosomedrugs.

Yeah your fucking shallow and stupid. "My life rocks!" Like I really give a flying fuck, fuck ass. How about you stop using your drugs then see how "great" your life is? You'd probably break down and start sucking cock to get your fix bitch ass.

[Twin Gats]

I'd give ShadyLady 4 OC80s to suck my cock. Whoopie Cushion however would have to pay me, ugly fat bitch.

[Bleeding Kansas]

Originally Posted by MegaKush

I'd give ShadyLady 4 OC80s to suck my cock. Whoopie Cushion however would have to pay me, ugly fat bitch.

So you would pay what could easily ammount to $120+ in LA to have some old bitch suck your dick? You sound like a ugly, fat bitch.


ON TOPIC: Good shit Metaflux. I wish I could thank you. Zoklet might still have something left.

[Twin Gats]

^Its more for the principle factor. I could use that in every other post. "i got a mod to suck my dick, lol bow down bitches"

[infamous big j]

Originally Posted by MegaKush

You arent alone dude, i went to my lil sisters bday a couple days ago, a whole house filled with 15 year old girls, ohh man. Hey, if they have tits and ass they are good for me.

But anyways, op, best thing to do in this situation is start talking to people. Im sure you have homeless people in your town. Talk to them. Ask them what gives them a will to live. Depression is purely a matter of perspective.

If it has tits and ass, it's not pedophilia, just frowned upon by society. At fifteen, girls are sexually mature and able to give birth. It's only natural to be attracted to them, just not according to the bullshit rules of society.

You are NOT a pedophile for being attracted to fifteen year old girls. Pedophile means little kids, not sexually mature females.

[Twin Gats]

^damnit. i was so proud of labeling myself a pedo.

[infamous big j]

Well, you're not a pedo.

Can you name one straight guy who wouldn't honestly go for a hot fifteen or sixteen year old if he knew he wouldn't get caught?

[Ed Lister]

Originally Posted by infamous big j

Well, you're not a pedo.

Can you name one straight guy who wouldn't honestly go for a hot fifteen or sixteen year old if he knew he wouldn't get caught?

Have you had sex since you lost your legs?

[infamous big j]

Originally Posted by Ed Lister

Have you had sex since you lost your legs?

Of course. I've never had sex with legs. I was 12 when I lost them.

It makes for some interesting positions. My ex-girlfriend was a freak, and she loved it.

[Mathrio]

Thanks everyone for the advices. I had a good talk with one of my friends. I feel a lot better now. Posting about it on zoklet was part of the solution, that's for sure.

[dialectic_chaos]

Originally Posted by Mathrio

Before I start let me just say that english is not my first language. Some word choices might seem odd, that's just me being french and being to lazy to search for the proper word to fit in that sentence.

Yes, i'm tried of living. Actually, I should say i'm bored of living. Life is boring as hell. I'm 21 and I feel like my happy days are in the past, what's left ahead of me just seems so bland... Study some more, than get a job, pay bills, retire, do nothing for 10-20 years if i'm lucky, then die a relieving death.

When I was young I wanted to be immortal. Knowing my life was finite made me angry at the world. Now, 10 years laters (because face it, before 10 you don't know shit), I don't think death can come soon enough.

Why do I feel this way? Well let's see, I feel like I failed my life.

First there's the love side of my life. If I had to give myself a grade for that I'd give myself I fucking D minus. It's so bad, it's actually starting to be funny. I'm 21 and i've never kissed a girl, I held hands once but nothing more. My last contact with girls goes back to when I was 16 or even younger i'm not even sure. I've been in love many times, except it's always a one way "lust", not because those girls don't love me back but because I don't even bother to ask them. I'm too fucking shy and self-aware for that. I know some of you think: well get off your ass and ask them it's easy, just initiate a conversation and go from there. I know it's that easy, but I still won't do it. Why? Because i'm a pussy and I'd rather not know what a girl thinks about me than be rejected. Love sucks, you get so anxious about meeting someone then when you actually do you get angry at each others and split up and then you feel like shit for i don't know how long because i've never actually broke up with a girlfriend because i've never had any.

I was going to make a sort of list but right now i'm realizing that most of my problems revolve around relationships. Other aspects of my life that sucks are my tinnitus (lovely illness for those who are not familiar with it, look it up). I've had it for less than a year and I don't see how i'll even enjoy my future with that shitty hissing sound in my head all the time. Thank god I don't hear it during the day, if it becomes worse I'll have to take actions. I don't know what i'll do yet, either kill myself or become an alcoholic or drug addict, something to make reality not suck.

Anyways, I don't know why i'm putting this on zoklet. With luck I'll get a tl;dr or murder/suicide. I know my post doesn't even make sense. It started all "i'm gonna make a list of the things that suck in my life" and ended like a bad 80s movie. What i'm hoping for this thread to be is a thread where people let their hearts out. It's important to tell your problems to someone and if like me you're too much of a pussy to speak to your friend of family about it then the internet (this thread specifically) is the place to go.

TL;DR

I'm a fucking loser and my life sucks. My future will probably be shit and I really don't care if I die in the next 10 years.

Smoke DMT and become a shaman if you think your life is boring.