Home Remedies for Flatulence?

vapid · #1 11-08-2010, 07:21 PM

I have been experiencing sever flatulence for the past two months. It has escalated to the point where it interferes with my romantic and social life. My boyfriend refuses to sleep in the same room as me, insistent that I have a "stinky butt", and my roommate is currently seeking other living arrangements because of it. I thought that my bowels would eventually regulate to the food here on campus, but I was mistaken. I have given up on the chile con carne for dinner every night and have even started a specific yoga routine in the morning, but the gas is still a problem. I have also sent in for free samples of Gas X and Beano. These products seem to work. They alleviate the uncomfortable bloated feeling I have all the time, but are too expensive to use with any regularity. I was wondering if anyone knew of some home remedies for gas prevention. Thank you.

Charles Manson · #2 11-08-2010, 07:40 PM

Baking soda.

**HLC** · #3 11-09-2010, 04:51 AM

load up your underpants with ground up charcoal briquettes, or better yet, activated charcoal. I'm not too sure where the best place to buy such charcoal would be. Home air filtration devices use them, so maybe a replacement filter will work well and be easy to attach to your underpants.
or maybe put activated charcoal in coffee filters and staple them to your underpants (in the butt crack region).
Not sure which, but maybe certain tea bags can be positioned in your underwear to filter the gases (morning thunder by celestial seasonings comes to mind)..
http://www.celestialseasonings.com/p...orning-thunder

ayingerbrau · #4 11-09-2010, 10:28 AM

Yep, activated charcoal. I used to get terrible gas in my stomach (no farting) and that cured it.

ratfrink · #5 11-09-2010, 12:35 PM

Spinach, coconut, beans, lentils, rice... err... sprouts, cabbage...

Wait, you want to reduce flatulence?

**HLC** · #6 11-09-2010, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratfrink

Spinach, coconut, beans, lentils, rice... err... sprouts, cabbage...

Wait, you want to reduce flatulence?

yes, along those lines, reduce your consumption of brussel sprouts and do not drink brussel sprout tea.

1983 · #7 11-09-2010, 08:39 PM

Pucker up your arsehole to the shitter and take a massive dump. Try to fart at the same time and you'll have what's called a three second shit.
Suggested not to sneeze or you'll really feel the need to go to the hospital.

Now it's gunna hurt and you'll scare anyone in the stall next to you but bear through it. Every time you start farting take another shit.

Also dutch oven the shit out of your boyfriend. Seriously what is he 3 "stinky butt"

Start dating more mature people.

On a more serious note just give it time. When I was in Afghanistan we always went through two rips every rip... One was the new troops coming in... The other was them getting used to the food.

Give it time is the best I can give you other than getting a doctor to check you out. Also if the farts are on betting terms best to wear boxers so there's a safety at the end so you don't loose the kids and the house in one go.

Al

FoolishImp · #8 11-09-2010, 08:59 PM

You just need to vent the gas in your body more regularly. burp more

go to the bathroom if you really need to let one rip

Sopio · #9 11-10-2010, 08:20 PM

I fear that the cause of your problem is gluten. Or maybe dairy... Also make sure to evacuate your bowels regularly and to shower your anus every day.

negative_zero · #10 11-10-2010, 10:47 PM

op, have you considered cleaning the area surrounding your anus with hot soapy water while in the shower to get rid of the odor left by the aforementioned flatulance?

ObsidianZ · #11 11-10-2010, 10:57 PM

Lactose intolerance?

Reduce your protein intake to reduce the smell.

*ObZ

negative_zero · #12 11-10-2010, 10:58 PM

not everyone's asian

Mutant Funk Drink · #13 11-10-2010, 11:06 PM

A diet change might be in order. Do you eat a lot of granola bars or foods with a lot of complex carbohydrates? If so, then that could be the culprit. I used to eat a lot of granola bars during the day, and I always had tremendous gas. Once I stopped eating those, the flatulence went away. Even now, when I have more than 1 granola bar, my bowels start exploding.

Also, are you a girl? If so then that'd be awesome to have a girlfriend who farts. And I don't mean for any fetishist reason, but it would mean that as a guy I wouldn't have to worry about farting around you since you fart yourself.

EDIT: I don't think Gas X is really that expensive. You could try buying the generic version of it, which is much cheaper.

**HLC** · #14 11-11-2010, 04:16 AM

I believe the OP has declared herself to be female.
well, actually, as a troll, the gender is not to be believed

Impolite · #15 11-12-2010, 01:04 AM

I've had it so bad for the past few weeks I was scared that it was a symptom of some fatal disease. If I hold it in for a bit, it builds up and once I let go it can last anywhere from 5 to 7 seconds. The smell hits almost instantly. Hot, sick, ass-smell.

Seriously, every five minutes it smells like a different kind of dead animal materialized in the room. I have no idea what god I angered to deserve it. . .