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  #1  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:32 PM
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Default Preparing my wife for anal sex

Been married for 10 years. Before amrraige anal was a regular thing for me and if memory serves correctly it was fantastic. 9/10 being way better than vaginal. Anyway I did have Anal once or twice early in the marriage which by the way was a shotgun affair.

NI principle she agrees to try it again but it is never the right day/night.

Any advice on how I might get her past the post.

She is a mixed bag in the sac but mainly reserved and dissapointing.

Gives useless head and is terrrified that I might ever come in her mouth. But a handjob to die for and everynow and then the sex is great so between that and the fact that we are married with kids I want to be patient but do want and maybe need more adventure.

The Dash
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:35 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

"SURPRISE!"
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  #3  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:44 PM
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:48 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Step 1: Never sign off another one of your posts with "the dash"

Step 2: Get her drunk.
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  #5  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
Been married for 10 years. Before amrraige anal was a regular thing for me and if memory serves correctly it was fantastic. 9/10 being way better than vaginal. Anyway I did have Anal once or twice early in the marriage which by the way was a shotgun affair.

NI principle she agrees to try it again but it is never the right day/night.

Any advice on how I might get her past the post.

She is a mixed bag in the sac but mainly reserved and dissapointing.

Gives useless head and is terrrified that I might ever come in her mouth. But a handjob to die for and everynow and then the sex is great so between that and the fact that we are married with kids I want to be patient but do want and maybe need more adventure.

The Dash
methamphetamine, ghb or phenmetrazine (preludin) will all turn an ice cold bitch into the horniest dirtiest jizz gobbling terror slut you'll ever conjure from hell. they all have incredible disinhibiting potential. My wife hated porn, but she was an awesome fuck, fucking killer, I gave her meth one night and she begged to watch porn, when i put it on she was all giving play by play and going "yah suck that cock you fucking slut, come on pig suck that huge dick, fuck i'd love to suck that cock and you are just playing with it, fucking bitch...suck that fucking cock!!". Just be careful with the stuff cuz she'll beg for it when it runs out, make it only for special occasions like when you especially want to fuck her up the hershey canal.
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:59 PM
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Grin Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

I don't know why people think anal feels better than vaginal. She poops from there.
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Old 12-23-2010, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Anal with a beautiful woman is pretty bad-ass.
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  #8  
Old 12-23-2010, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by nuclearrabbit View Post
I don't know why people think anal feels better than vaginal. She poops from there.
She bleeds and pops babies out the other side!

-higher fiber diet
-maybe an enema before hand; sometimes they're afraid of being 'dirty' which doesn't happen often unless they need to take a shit

-lots of lube
-little bit of booze to make the idea seem better

Oh and go slow. Not the pretend slow but actually slow for a while. A good percentage are neurologically wired for anal and if she is part of that, she'll beg for it after a while.. unless you scare her away by making it a painful experience.

Cheers.
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Old 12-23-2010, 01:48 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Hope I dont sound clueless. Does she need a kit for a decent enema. it just means cleaning inside-right?

In reality a good wash in the shower with hand should do?

You see I reckon getting her to squirt water into herself would be a bigger project than I am currently on.

Is KY jelly fit for this purpose. Is it classed as lube?

Should I be using fingers only for a few days before D-day. Funny thing is because she has issues with the intimacy thing I think she will consider fingers more intimate and so no go than cock so I might have to get straight down to it whenever the time comes.

But still tell me should I be taking it in stages with fingers or toys or should I just get down and dirty so to speak.
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Old 12-23-2010, 02:07 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
... Before [marriage] anal was a regular thing for me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
Hope I dont sound clueless....

Is KY jelly fit for this purpose. Is it classed as lube?

...should I be taking it in stages with fingers or toys or should I just get down and dirty so to speak.
I think the quote below is the telling one...

Quote:
Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
... Hope I dont sound clueless....
So backdoor drilling was a regular thing for you before marriage?
Not buying it, personally.

use Vaseline (petroleum jelly) and work up to it, fingers first, is my advice.
Communication helps heaps, but the picture you paint is that you don't know how to talk about it, before, during or after.
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Old 12-23-2010, 02:29 AM
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Old 12-23-2010, 02:34 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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"SURPRISE!"
is that how your hillbilly father did it?
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Old 12-23-2010, 02:49 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Yo seriously...

Me and my girlfriend used to have anal sex ALL THE TIME. I would ALWAYS cum in her ass.

After sometime and breaks on and off, she told me "I will never do anal with you again" for reasons not because of actual anal sex.

Well she put it in her ass and we have anal sex sometimes.

Here is what needs to be done... she has to WANT TO DO IT! You need...
1. Anal desensitizer. It can only go on the outside of her rectum. Put her in doggy style position and just rub her asshole for 10 minutes, rub her clit a little, finger her a little, let the lidocaine do its just for the OUTSIDE of her brown eye.

2. SHE MUST BE ON TOP IF SHE'S NOT EXPERIENCED. This allows her to control it. Oh before this step, you need anal jelly.

3. I fucked up the order..

4. Get anal jelly.

5. Finger her ass with anal jelly and do not put anal desensitizer in her ass, it can burn and she'll be like "omfg I am not doing this ever again". So finger her ass, or what is even better, a dildo/butt plug that is pretty thin, but big enough to start opening it.

5. real step 5, make sure she can relax her sphincter muscle.

6. work that asshole and communicate, make sure she likes it.

7. get her on top, and have her stick it in, make sure you are all anal jellied up.

8. let her do it, when she lets you do the fuckin, don't let your dick go out all the way, I know that feels best, but it could lead to her saying "omfg that hurts don't let it go out all the way". which can turn into "omfg owwww" and .... ya know.. sorry.

0. To get her into trying anal, she has to want to please you, this is about you, not her. You need to talk to her about, plenty of times, go into the porn store and buy the materials, buttplug, jelly, pain lube, etc. dildo, whatever. She has to want to do this, you can't force her, but you can manipulate her. If you want more tips, write on my wall or whatever it's called, or PM me. I will talk to my girlfriend and get her to write some stuff lololololol

by the way, just bought a butt plug with my girlfriend, fucking hottest thing ever watching her push it out omfg and her asshole was gaped omfg so fucking hott I almost came on her foot without touching my dick.
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  #14  
Old 12-23-2010, 03:57 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Unlike the OP, I actually buy into 47% speaking from experience.
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Old 12-23-2010, 07:04 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Don't ask her beforehand. Ask after you're already screwing or don't ask at all. Have the lube close by. Its not so painful as it is uncomfortable so just really try to help her relax. I suggest having a few drinks first
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  #16  
Old 12-23-2010, 07:11 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

The way to initiate it is to just go for it; start finger fucking her ass with surgical gloves on.

Grab her by the hips tightly and thrust your hips forward driving your dick inside. Don't care too much if it's hurting her, she'll get used to it, believe me, the grunting and moaning shouldn't be putting you off when you feel those muscles tightening around your shaft.

Just be brazen enough to do it and carry on doing it; you might hear her sniffling sometimes but that's normal, keep going, you've already started now, you can't stop until you've filled that ass up.


It's no surprise that your wife is a frigid cunt, I'd recommend you just get a prostitute as they're the only women worth spending money on.
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Old 12-23-2010, 04:26 PM
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Roll Eyes Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by PuttinOnTheRitz View Post
is that how your hillbilly father did it?
My hillbilly father could troll better than you.
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Old 12-23-2010, 04:31 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Why are some girls so stingy with the anal sex? It's amazing!
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Old 12-23-2010, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

anal is funny man.


you dont know whatsup till you've done it.

then when you do it, it's just kinda like "hey sweet i'm fucking this bitch in the ass LAWL"

or for me anyway.
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Old 12-23-2010, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by Princess 'Zek View Post
Why are some girls so stingy with the anal sex? It's amazing!
Well initially it feels like you're trying to poop while more poops are trying to get in there! Even though it does feel good after that its not something I get super excited for Not to mention the devastation on the toilet afterwards. Don't you have one of those prostate thingamabobbers zek? Lucky
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Old 12-23-2010, 06:00 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by thatsMYdog View Post
Well initially it feels like you're trying to poop while more poops are trying to get in there! Even though it does feel good after that its not something I get super excited for Not to mention the devastation on the toilet afterwards. Don't you have one of those prostate thingamabobbers zek? Lucky
i guess the prostate might help a lot lol
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Old 12-23-2010, 06:08 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by Princess 'Zek View Post
i guess the prostate might help a lot lol
Gosh, you have the best of both worlds zek
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:29 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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My hillbilly father could troll better than you.
good for him you goofy mullet having hick fuck
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:33 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
Been married for 10 years. Before amrraige anal was a regular thing for me and if memory serves correctly it was fantastic. 9/10 being way better than vaginal. Anyway I did have Anal once or twice early in the marriage which by the way was a shotgun affair.

NI principle she agrees to try it again but it is never the right day/night.

Any advice on how I might get her past the post.

She is a mixed bag in the sac but mainly reserved and dissapointing.

Gives useless head and is terrrified that I might ever come in her mouth. But a handjob to die for and everynow and then the sex is great so between that and the fact that we are married with kids I want to be patient but do want and maybe need more adventure.

The Dash
get her used to the idea. Introduce anal toys. Start small "small sized anal toy" then work your way up to bigger ones.

Always use lots of lube. Ky jelly is best

same if your doing to give her anal "Lots of lube"
anal sucks without lube
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:57 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

One word...POPPERS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppers

This is the only way my girlfriend lets me do her anally. It makes her asshole loosen up and makes it feel better.

It's great for normal sex too, will increase her pleasure and make her oh so much tighter. I fucking love poppers, great for you when she's giving head too.
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Old 12-23-2010, 09:11 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Get her thoroughly aroused, finger her asshole, flip her over, and enter her slowly. You'll want some lube handy, but the most important thing is for her to be relaxed. Be sensual and make a lot of body contact with her when you are first going in. Once you're all the way in, start thrusting slowly and build speed based on how she's responding.

Most women don't really think about sex (or anything) as logically as men do. If a man likes a finger in his ass, that'll be true no matter what his mood. Women, on the other hand, don't really seem to remember whether they enjoy something unless they're aroused at that moment.
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Old 12-23-2010, 09:11 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by Soulless View Post
One word...POPPERS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppers

This is the only way my girlfriend lets me do her anally. It makes her asshole loosen up and makes it feel better.

It's great for normal sex too, will increase her pleasure and make her oh so much tighter. I fucking love poppers, great for you when she's giving head too.
Hahahahaa people still use that shit?
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Old 12-23-2010, 09:16 PM
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Lightbulb Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by dashboard View Post
Been married for 10 years. Before amrraige anal was a regular thing for me and if memory serves correctly it was fantastic. 9/10 being way better than vaginal. Anyway I did have Anal once or twice early in the marriage which by the way was a shotgun affair.

NI principle she agrees to try it again but it is never the right day/night.

Any advice on how I might get her past the post.

She is a mixed bag in the sac but mainly reserved and dissapointing.

Gives useless head and is terrrified that I might ever come in her mouth. But a handjob to die for and everynow and then the sex is great so between that and the fact that we are married with kids I want to be patient but do want and maybe need more adventure.

The Dash
Well... I don't know, just be careful what you wish for.

If I remember right, there was a poster on here a while ago, can't remember his name, but he had a similar problem, and really wanted his wife to get into anal sex. Not sure what he liked so much about it personally, but to each his own.
Anyway, after a long time of trying he finally succeeded - she gave it a go, and she absolutely loved it! She was really getting off on it, really.
In fact, it got to the point that it became the only thing they were doing in the sack.
He then came back to us for more advice, this time it was to make anal sex less painful. He said that even though anal sex was fun and she was really getting off on it, his anus really hurt.
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  #29  
Old 12-23-2010, 11:15 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by SHODAN View Post
Well... I don't know, just be careful what you wish for.

If I remember right, there was a poster on here a while ago, can't remember his name, but he had a similar problem, and really wanted his wife to get into anal sex. Not sure what he liked so much about it personally, but to each his own.
Anyway, after a long time of trying he finally succeeded - she gave it a go, and she absolutely loved it! She was really getting off on it, really.
In fact, it got to the point that it became the only thing they were doing in the sack.
He then came back to us for more advice, this time it was to make anal sex less painful. He said that even though anal sex was fun and she was really getting off on it, his anus really hurt.
LOL!
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Old 12-23-2010, 11:31 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by thatsMYdog View Post
Gosh, you have the best of both worlds zek
you're too nice to me
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Old 12-23-2010, 11:57 PM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by SHODAN View Post
Well... I don't know, just be careful what you wish for.

If I remember right, there was a poster on here a while ago, can't remember his name, but he had a similar problem, and really wanted his wife to get into anal sex. Not sure what he liked so much about it personally, but to each his own.
Anyway, after a long time of trying he finally succeeded - she gave it a go, and she absolutely loved it! She was really getting off on it, really.
In fact, it got to the point that it became the only thing they were doing in the sack.
He then came back to us for more advice, this time it was to make anal sex less painful. He said that even though anal sex was fun and she was really getting off on it, his anus really hurt.
Lame joke.
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Old 12-24-2010, 06:25 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Lame joke.
That's one reason it's funny. Lame and retarded jokes are funny to people with a decent sense of humor. I laugh at some stuff just because it won't make other people laugh.
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Old 12-24-2010, 06:27 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

super black god is a fucking nigger
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Old 12-24-2010, 06:42 AM
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Ask a nigger, they all butt fuck each other.
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Old 12-24-2010, 06:44 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by 47% View Post
2. SHE MUST BE ON TOP IF SHE'S NOT EXPERIENCED. This allows her to control it. Oh before this step, you need anal jelly.
False. That's actually the hardest position for someone to relax their sphincter in.

Quote:

0. To get her into trying anal, she has to want to please you, this is about you, not her. You need to talk to her about, plenty of times, go into the porn store and buy the materials, buttplug, jelly, pain lube, etc. dildo, whatever. She has to want to do this, you can't force her, but you can manipulate her. If you want more tips, write on my wall or whatever it's called, or PM me. I will talk to my girlfriend and get her to write some stuff lololololol
You're doing it wrong.

Last edited by Dog; 12-24-2010 at 06:46 AM.
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Old 12-24-2010, 05:22 PM
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Sad Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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Originally Posted by thatsMYdog View Post
Gosh, you have the best of both worlds zek
I really wish this were true, hehe. But thank you
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  #37  
Old 12-25-2010, 04:25 AM
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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False. That's actually the hardest position for someone to relax their sphincter in.



You're doing it wrong.
hey buddy, fuck you.

First off, false? Okay, prove me wrong, give me a source. My source is from my girlfriend, it's easier for her to relax in that position, it also said, on numerous anal sex websites, that women being on top during anal is less painful/easier/etc.

I'm doing it wrong? Suck my shit covered dick cocksucking asshole.

BTW, I bet you love it when your girl sticks a finger or three up your ass.
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  #38  
Old 12-25-2010, 06:16 AM
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Dog Dog is offline
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Grin Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

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I'm doing it wrong? Suck my shit covered dick cocksucking asshole.
I lolled. But seriously, if having anal sex means not pleasing your girlfriend, you're doing it wrong. If you do it right, you can get a girl to cum from anal effortlessly.
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:13 PM
LilLita LilLita is offline
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Default Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Funny - being female the first thing I picked up on was she has intimacy issues. You'll get further with her loosening up in bed by becoming closer to her. She has to fully trust you. I suggest you spend more time on her brain and finding out why she has certain hangups. Then maybe get a copy of the kamasutra and go through it in a non-sexual setting, such as after dinner on the sofa with some drinks. Point out things you like and press her to tell you what she would like to try. Don't insist you try anything right then. Let her think on it a bit and become curious. Another night, a few drinks, a warm bath, etc. whisper a few things you've been thinking about and ask her which options have been on her mind. As long as she knows you're in it for the long haul and are just as interested in her pleasure and want to earn her trust, things will evolve for the better.
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  #40  
Old 12-27-2010, 04:34 PM
Agent 008 Agent 008 is offline
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Thumbs Up Re: Preparing my wife for anal sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLita View Post
Funny - being female the first thing I picked up on was she has intimacy issues. You'll get further with her loosening up in bed by becoming closer to her. She has to fully trust you. I suggest you spend more time on her brain and finding out why she has certain hangups. Then maybe get a copy of the kamasutra and go through it in a non-sexual setting, such as after dinner on the sofa with some drinks. Point out things you like and press her to tell you what she would like to try. Don't insist you try anything right then. Let her think on it a bit and become curious. Another night, a few drinks, a warm bath, etc. whisper a few things you've been thinking about and ask her which options have been on her mind. As long as she knows you're in it for the long haul and are just as interested in her pleasure and want to earn her trust, things will evolve for the better.
For some reason, while reading this, I pictured him doing that in a really "official" polite-distant manner. While wearing a suit and a monocle.
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